Carson:We're now back with a special update with Ozzy
Ozzy:{he's standing beside Carson next to a large computer system}That's bloody right as you can see here we have come up with several possible leads to Jon's kidnapping{points to the large monitor}and not among them is Fieldy's Bigfoot loveslave theory among the most popular is that a crazed fan by the name of Lenny Carlson who at the age of 46 has no girlfriend and very large feet has kidnapped him and is forcing him to play private shows in his parents house's basement and only feeding him on pudding and he eventually plans to kidnap Courtney Love and make them breed
Carson:This has been an MTV udpate

{goes back to where everyon was on the road and Shippo is running around and going between the Sailors legs trying to get a good look up their skirts}
Jupiter:{locks her legs around his head}
Shippo:oh yeah she likes it rough
Jupiter:{squeezes her legs together and Shippo passes out from the pressure}
Fieldy:well I guess we're done here for now so how should wefind Jon? and how did you find me?
Munky:Simple really you see we used the location device on the back of your neck to find you Jon put them all on us because we all got drunk one night and ran off and thats also how he wrote Freak On A Leash because we found you pissing on a butter churn screaming you were the king of Finland i've noticed we haven't been invited back to the Amish Country since
Fieldy:What was Jon doing during all this?
David:He was on the tour bus with that Amish chick you haven't seen the tape yet?
Fieldy:Oh{lies}I saw that one I didn't know Amish bitches were like that she was a wild sl-
David:What the hell are you talking about it was the Amish chick showing Jon how to churn butter
Head:Yeah man quit picking on the Amish thats not cool{everyone else nods in agreement}
Voice far off in the distance:Jerk!
Fieldy:{cries and runs over to Venus}they called me a jerk
Venus:{hugs Fieldys head to her chest}do you feel better now?
Fieldy:{nods}yeah
Goku:so now how should we find Jon?
all of KoRn:to the KoRnmobile
{batman logo from the original show pops up with Goku's head on it and they are all on the KoRnmobile}
Vegeta:Munky what makes the fucking KoRnmobile so fucking special?
Munky:what makes the KoRnmobile special you ask thats a good question you see it is assembled from the worlds most evil cars on earth it has Hitlers Limosuine's headlights,the car that hit Lassies breaks,Fidel Castro's ashtray,Charles Mansons vans rearview mirrors,and of course The Mystery Machines wheels
Goku:The Mystery Machine wasn't evil
Head:its wheels were
Goku:oh
Fieldy:can I drive?
Head:ask David
Fieldy:can I drive?
David:ask Munky
Fieldy:can I drive?
Munky:ask Jon
FIeldy:Jon's gone he was kidnapped by Bigfoot and you all know it
Munky:Well then I guess you can't drive
Mars:Can I drive?
Munky:Sure but the cars really evil you'll have to sit on my lap so I can help

{scene shifts back to the abbandoned highway and Rob Zombie's corpse is slowly pulling itslef back together and once he is fully reassembled he sees Shippo's truck speeding down the highway at him and he growls and jumps on the front of the truck and breaks the glass out the window and the truck comes to a halt throwing Rob through the broken window he sees Shippo in the carseat so he can see over the wheel and picks the carseat up and opens the door tossing him over the side of a cliff and he falls conveinently through the open sun roof of the KoRnmobile onto Moon's lap}
Shippo:{looks up}hey babe
Moon:{stands up and he falls to the ground not being able to move because he's still in the carseat}it's the talking thing again
Shippo:{sees up Moons skirt and suffers a nosebleed like all the anime perverts}oh yeah thats what daddy wants

{Rob Zombie can be seen riding the truck down the mountain mumbling into the CB radio thing and a sign on the side of the truck reads Black Sunshine as he drives faster downward}

{the KoRnmobile has been driving for several days and they are now being guided by Ozzy via onboard computer with internet connections they have reached the sea now}
Fieldy:KoRnmobile change!{everyone else starts to blow up a raft underneath the KoRnmobile and start out to sea towards the Middle East}

{3 days later}

Some News Guy:Here we are in Afghanistan we are now approaching Osama Bin Laden's camp
{in the background the KoRnmobile can be seen speeding across the landscape doding the several bombs being dropped}
Trunks:Where are we?
Goku:Michigan I think
Trunks:Are you sure this looks alot like Afghanistan
Vegeta:{stumbles about drunkenly}Michigan Afghanistan there both the same lets all smoke some more of Fieldy's pot.Whoo! party{throws up on David}I am so fucking sorry man here let me get that{falls over into a pile of empty beer bottles}
David:Is he going to be okay?
Bulma:he's always this way when he hasn't had sex for a couple of days{drags him to the bedroom which happens to be where the computer is also}
Ozzy:{pops up on screen}we have another possi--
Bulma:oh yeah thats how I like it Super Sayian Size
Ozzy:{watches and thinks:I'll just wait until their done}
{Bulma and Vegeta continue for awhile and feel the bus stop but don't really notice}
Goku:{is standing outside the KoRnmobile with several men in beards}hello my name is Goku
Bearded Guy 1:We know who you are Osama enjoys American MTV we saw you at Black Forest Concert you are the idiot who can't crowd surf
Bearded Guy 2:{pokes him with his gun barrel}you all come with us and meet our leader
Goku:alright!{goes back inside and tells them to follow the bearded guys}
Gohan:fucking ex-dad don't you fucking know who the fuck they fucking are?
Goku:yeah they're a ZZTop tribute band
Head:they don't seem like bad guys maybe we should follow them
Munky:sounds good maybe they know what happened to Jon
{the KoRnmobile follows them to Osamas camp and all of them except Vegeta and Bulma are forced off and taken to Bin Laden}
Bearded Guy 1:Sir,we have brought the rebels like you commanded
Osama:very good{looks at another bearded guy}give him his reward
Bearded Guy 3:{shoots Bearded Guy 1}
Goku:this is the worst ZZ Top tribute band ever
Osama:silence when you are in my presence I am Osama Bin Laden
Goku:{raises hand}
Osama:yes?
Goku:can I call you Bin?
Osama:no
Goku:what about Uncle Bin?
Osama:no
Goku:{aminute or two passes}ok Uncle Bin
Osama:guards throw him in the prison
Bearded guy 2&3:{drag Goku off to another tent}
Osama:the rest of you sit there and behave until I decide what to do with you
Fieldy:{gets up and wanders off while Osama is lecturing the Sailor Scouts about having to cover their whole bodies or else be stoned}
Goku:{tears open the tent}I wonder if Uncle Bin knows people can tear his prison open{bumps into Fieldy}
Fieldy:Goku am I a glad to see you I don't think this is a ZZ Top tribute band they want the girls to cover themselves up instead of take off their shirts
Goku:you don't think Uncle Bin is gay do you?
Fieldy:there's no doubting it Osama Bin Laden is gay
Goku:Uncle Bin!
Fieldy:sorry
Vegeta:{wakes up}damn fucking fuck woman we fell asleep I fucking wonder where the fuckingest shitty fuck everyone fucking is
Bulma:I don't know{looks out the window}I think they went camping
Vegeta:this is no fucking time to fucking go camping{puts on his clothes and goes outside and sees two bearded men}
Bearded men 4&5:It's a short man kill him
Vegeta:{begins laughing insanely as the bullets fall off of him and he pulls their beards off and they run off crying begins to look around the camp and finds Goku and Fieldy}
Goku:look its Vegeta have you met Uncle Bin yet?
Vegeta:Kakarot what have you done now where are we?{more bearded men come up and surround them}
Bearded men 6 thru 28:{take them off to prison and soon it's night and Goku tears the tent again and he bumps into everyone else}did Uncle Bin put you in prison to?
Everyone:yeah but thanks to Mercury we're free and she has a plan to escape
Mercury:the plan is quite simple when everyone is asleep we tie their beards together and make a loud noise so they all wake up and try to go different ways and their heads make that coconut noise when they all smack back together and then Vegeta kills them and we find Bin Laden and
Goku:take him with us!
Mercury:No!we have Vegeta kill him too
{and so the plan is put into motion and before long all of Bin Ladens camp is in flames and Bin is running in circles as Vegeta emerges from the smoke}
Vegeta:Big Motherfucker Ultimate Big Bang Gallit Gun Final Flash!
Osama:Oh Sh..
{a few days later they are back on the road er high seas not finding Jon in Afghanistan but not without taking a present}
Goku:{holds Osamas turban}I can't believe this is all thats left of Uncle Bin..oh well{puts it on}