The Totally Backwards Day in Hogwarts School
Chapter 2: Severus Snape, Beauty King.. er, Queen.

A/N: Um, okay. So I was hyper and.. I use this in loose sense (because I frequently tend to loose my sense) *creative*. ^^;; Just read it already, will you?!

In potions class, things got even worse. Snape was putting on bright red lipstick and popping his lips.

"Do these robes make me look fat?" he asked sincerely to Draco Malfoy. Snape posed himself in different directions.

Draco Malfoy looked Snape up and down with his hands on his hips and his lips pursed. (Did I mention Draco now had black hair, green contact lenses and a fake scar tatooed on his forehead?!)

"You go, girl!!" Draco said. He slapped Snape a high-five and took his seat.

At this point everyone was sitting down. Snape had opened a compact and was putting some purple (yech) blush on his pale cheeks. He looked up!

"Oh!" he said. He looked at his pearly pink watch. "Class time already!" He put his hands with long sickly ruby-red nails up to his cheeks. "Fashionably late, you know," Snape said with a giggle.

Harry looked around, confused, at Malfoy, who was putting age-defying cream on his nose. Malfoy looked up and flutted his greasy, nasty, deformed, messy, and other synonyms for disgusting mascara-covered eyelashes at him and smiled with bleached teeth.

"Hey, gorgeous," Malfoy said. "What are you doing tonight?"

Harry screamed.

Malfoy pouted.

"What's up with you, girl?" Snape said. "Ohhh, I see. Don't worry, I got a cream that'll cover that pore right up."

"I don't need one!!" Harry said.

"All right, girl, but you come back if it gets worse."

Harry growled and muttered something about orange juice.. I think..

"Whatever!!!" Snape leaned forward and giggled maniackly (?) with his tongue protruding in and out of the space between his teeth (ick all the girls who think they're so cool around where I live do that 24/7)

"Today we make a face mask!!" Snape said in a person who had too much coffee this morning voice. Not to mention, a... you guessed it.. pink (who knew??) bra strap (who knew?) (hee hee, I did) was visible inbetween his collar and his robes.

"This is used mostly by Muggle-wuggles," he continued, "but that's okay!! Mix some avocado, lemon juice..." and Snape went on and on, everyone but perhaps Harry (too busy edging his desk away from Makeover Malfoy), Ron (Who was looking up Avocados on his laptop and typing furiously quickly), and Hermione (Who, well, was mimicking Snape, even though no one noticed).