The Totally Backwards Day in Hogwarts School
Chapter 3: Minerva McGonagall, Beauty Queen.. no, wait, that was the title of the other chapter..

A/N: Sorry the chapters are getting so short... hope you like cliffhangers!


Next was Transfiguration. Harry walked down the hall, Hermione discussing how Snape was an ugly git, and Ron asking Harry if he knew the average radius of a cumulus cloud at a 137 degree angle from the sun at approximately four in the afternoon in mid-fall.

Harry could just picture McGonagall.. in her normal loong black robes and her black hair tied into a tight bun at the back of her head and a stern look on her pale face. Oh yeah, and the glasses. Hopefully she's still sane, Harry thought.

How very wrong he was.

He walked in and took one look at McGonagall anf fell on the spot.

"AGH!" he screamed. "MY EYES! MY EYES!!!"

McGonagall was.. quite different. Flowing long black robes? I think not. Red mini-skirt with a white top with red words plastered right across that certain part of her chest one would normally get yelled and scolded at for looking there said BOYS AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT TROUBLE!. Black hair in a tight bun? Wrong. Long white-blonde veela-ish hair loose and all about. Stern look on her pale face? Looks more like three pounds of makeup and a.. weird.. grin thingy.. oh, and some gum. Green gum. I like gum. (I also like putting short unnecessary sentences in the middle of my fic.)

"A'ight, clay-uss," she said in a Brooklyn accent inbetween gum chewings, flecks of spit escaping her mouth with every syllable. "Like, tsuhday we make a hai-ma turn intso a nay-uhl. Jus' way-uve yo-wehr, like, lil' wandy-thingy and say, like, 'lanotremah', and like, if it doesn' werk, oh well. I'll be ovuh heyuh, umm, yeah." She began filing her nails.

TRANSLATION TO EVERYTHING McGONAGALL JUST SAID FOR YOU NON-NEW-YORKERS:


"All right class," she said in a Brooklyn accent inbetween gum chewings, flecks of spit escaping her mouth with every syllable. "Like, today we make a hammer turn into a nail. Just wave your, like, little wand thingy and say, like, Lanotremah, and, like, if it doesn't work, oh well. I'll be over here, umm, yeah." She began filing her nails.

And McGonagall stayed there, not saying anything, until the bell rang.

"Umm, uhkay, like, boi-boi," she said when she heard the bell, not looking up.

TRANSLATION:


"Umm, okay, like, bye-bye," she said when she heard the bell, not looking up.

Little did she know Harry was on the floor for the whole period rubbing his eyes. He woke up and followed the class out.