Chapter 4: A Taste of Colin, Fred, George, and Satan
Author's Note: Yeah, I tried not to make it too religious and, um, yeah. *laughs like a maniac*
"Yo," said a husky deep voice. A shadow had fallen over Harry.
"Harry looked up. And up. And up some more. He backed up a little and squinted. Then he backed up a little more again and stood on his toes. (enough suspense yet?) After that he took a drink of Coke and wiped his forehead and coughed and went out to the store and bought some platforms and came back and then...
"Who, um, are you?" Harry asked.
"Harry, Harry!" the massively deep voice said. The masculant figure shook their head. "Don't you remember me?"
"Hulk Hogan?" Harry asked.
The almighty person sighed and smacked his forehead with a bulked arm.
"No, Harry, it's me!" It boomed. "COLIN!"
Harry stammered. "No.. It's not Colin.. Just a nasty dream.. No.. This isn't true.."
Colin slapped Harry on the back. "Hey, buddy, where've you been the last year?.. Harry?.... Harry, are you okay?"
Harry swayed on the spot.
FLUMP.
Oh yeah, and then he fainted.
Harry wakes up. "Thanks for the sympathy!!" he yells at me. Then he resumes his faintedness.
When Harry awoke, some time later, he was in Colin's arms in the Great Hall. Colin was rocking him gently and singing Rock-a-Bye Harry.
"Rock-a-bye, Harry, in Hogwarts School,
Slytherins stink and Gryfindors rule,
I slapped you a little hard and you began to fall,
and do-own came Harry, spellbooks and all."
Harry could not believe what was happening. He knew everyone would be laughing at him. Quite the contrary. Everyone was going "Awwwww" and "How cute!" like they were all his mother. Only Hermione was rolling on the floor laughing.
Harry jumped out of Colin's arms and sat down regularly at the table, spite Hermione still cracking up rolling on the floor, with a color on her face somewhere in-between a tomato with a sunburn and purple Uncle Vernon with rouge on.
Fred.. George.. please.. play a trick on me.. turn me into a chicken.. SOMETHING.. and fast..
"Whatever are you talking about?" asked a tall thin boy.
"Fred, please, don't lose your trail of advanced thought," a small fat boy said.
"George, I downloaded it onto the memory database," the tall thin boy said.
"Oh, no," Harry said, feeling his forehead. "WHY did I have to do that.. God, why is this happening?"
**IN HEAVEN**
Satan looks down from heaven on poor demented Hogwarts and answers Harry's prayer. See you in hell, Harry.. I mean, heaven.. yeah, heaven.." He looks behind him, where 2 devils are taking turns banging on God's head with a squeaky toy mallet.
Harry gets down on his knees and screams "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" while the camera slowly backs out of the scene, you know, like in those dramatic movies. K?
