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Summary: Vaughn thinks on Sydney.

Notes: Thanks to the fabulous Ness for beta-ing this for me!

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I watch her every time we're together. Watching her is the one luxury I am allowed. If I were to touch, kiss, or hold her in any intimate way, there's no way in hell I'd be her handler for much longer. Hell, she'd probably kick my ass three-ways from Sunday if I tried.

So I content myself with watching her when we meet. I think I've become pretty good at deciphering her moods now. That certain look in her eyes, when she bothers to look in mine. Her posture..the way she walks..if she paces, as she does most times. She seems to think better when she paces. The way she glares at me when I'm right. I try not to laugh at those moments. Like right now.

I sigh and try to distract her with something in the hopes that she can't tell what's really on my mind. It appears to work.

There's this part of me that desires that someday soon I'll get the chance for many intimate moments with her. No, not like THAT...although I would never turn one down if it presented itself. Don't get me wrong, I AM attracted to her, I'd have to be dead not to be. But considering our current relationship of double-agent and handler...let's just say it would complicate things A LOT.

No, the intimacy I crave with her goes so much deeper than physical. She brings out this protective side in me. Plainly put, I want to take care of her. But not in a big brother way, that would be way too weird.

There are times I imagine I take her in my arms and let her get all that pain I see in her eyes out of her system. She holds it back so well, but no one can hold onto what she has gone through without finally snapping. I want to help her avoid that, to ease that pain in whatever little way I can.

She's ready to go now, she's got her counter-mission and she's now looking at me expectantly, taking me out of my fantasy. I give her a reassuring smile and tell her I'll see her when she gets back. She actually beams at me, and it even goes to her eyes. This is a rare one, I'll have to try to keep this one in my memory.

I follow right behind her as she leaves, closing the gate to our meeting place. For a moment I watch her walk the other way. She's walking confidently, back straight, almost a swagger to her step. I smile widely, a warmth infusing me as I allow myself the silly, indulgent thought that maybe I had something to do with that.

I turn around as she rounds the corner and I head back to my car. I figure these emotions coursing through me will last for another few hours, until something stomps all over them. But maybe if I keep in mind that I will soon have that opportunity to watch her once more, I can keep these positive feelings flowing.

I get into my car, a happy smile still on my face. I start the car and drive off, secure in the knowledge that I will see her again soon.

THE END