Learned Young Author's Note: Okay here's the next part. Thsi si mostly thoughts and/or explanations, no dialouge whatsoever. Sorry. Thanks to those who have reviewed, and to Just Silver, I'm not so patiently waiting for the next chapter of Love and Darkness. I loved Fire and Ice and this one is promising to be just as good. To everyone else I would love you forever and ever and ever if you would just send me a wittle itty bitty review. And I would love you even longer if it wasn't so itty bitty. Now, really, is that so hard?


Chapter IV: Learned Young
"Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life."
-Joseph Conrad

Draco Malfoy was a very smart young man. He had always prided himself on that fact. But what he didn't understand was why Sirius Black, a convicted murderer, was promising Harry he would stay. Why did Harry want him to stay? Didn't he betray the Potter's, leading to their death? It didn't make sense. It appeared that Harry, as well as Dumbledore, were trusting this man. But, Draco told himself, I will not. I do not know him and I will not trust him. He trusted Harry, surprisingly, as he knew that as much as Harry hated him, the good in him was stronger. Strangely, he felt a bit jaded knowing that Harry would never feel anything but hate for him. He trusted Dumbledore, as the man had taken a chance and trusted him. But anyone else was a different matter. Life was a different matter.
At a young age, Draco had become weary of anyone he didn't know, as well as the ones he did. Much like Harry, he had never been shown much love, his parents being Death Eaters all. Love was a foreign emotion to him, one he had never felt or known. He had hardened his heart long ago and gave up on ever feeling anything for another person. But he could feel his resolve slowly slipping away from him and he was unable to stop it.
Hope had been something he had long ago given up on. As a small child, he had often hoped for a different life. Different parents, different "friends", he wanted everything to be different. He wanted to be different. He knew what his parents were, and even at a young age he knew he could never be evil like that. But he also knew that if he stayed there, he would eventually lose sight of all that was good and pure and right in the world and he eventually would become just like his parents. This thought scared the young boy immensely. For years he struggled to hold on to the good he had inside him. As he got older it got harder and there were so many times he had come close to giving up and giving in. He knew that it would all just be so much easier if he gave up and let himself succumb to the evil he knew was lurking somewhere in his soul. Everyone, wizard and muggle alike, each had at least a drop of bad inside of them. He could often feel his bubbling just beneath the surface, fueled by the rage and hate towards his parents. He could feel it grow stronger. He started to imagine and even dream of doing some of the horrible deeds his father had often talked about. And it scared him.
Trust was a luxury he could not afford. Trust could kill him. He hadn't been dealt a good hand in life, but he had played as well as he knew how. But he couldn't trust the deck. Life often threw him things he could hardly handle as it was, and he was convinced that one day, probably very soon, he would be thrown something he truly was not strong enough to fight. Even as he sat in Harry's room after the boy had gone back to sleep, he could feel the fight leaving him. He was growing weaker. It would be soon that he would be dealt a final round, one that he would not have the strength to win. He had long ago come to the terms that he was going to die. Probably alone, with no one to mourn him after her passed. That was part of the reason he had approached Dumbledore. He though if he could help, even just a little, before he died, maybe someone would miss him. Maybe he would have made a difference. Maybe someone would even cry, real, honest tears for him. Maybe he would finally earn the respect of Harry Potter. He couldn't understand why he wanted Harry's respect, even friendship, out of everyone he had ever met. Maybe because it was so difficult to obtain. Maybe because he could see a bit of himself in the other boy. Both had grown up without any love or compassion. Both were somewhat famous for things they had no control over or recollection of. Neither of them really wanted the attention they were given. They were so alike in many ways, yet they had turned out so different. Harry had found hope in coming to Hogwarts, finally away from the people who had made his life so miserable. But Draco knew he would never be rid of his parents. Not until they died. Or until he died, whichever came first. That may have been another reason he wanted Harry's companionship. Maybe the other boy could show him how to overcome the bad inside of him, to not be tempted by it. To be his friend, or maybe more. And maybe, just maybe he wouldn't be so alone anymore.

To Be Continued