Birthdays and Rides
Chapter X: Birthdays and Rides
Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride
worthwhile.--Franklin P. Jones

The days after that flew by. Sirius stayed, much to the enjoyment of Harry, and he spent much of the time with his godson, telling him anything and everything about the boy's parents. The time that they didn't spend together, Harry spent with Draco. Sirius, still in the dark about the true nature of their relationship, thought the boys were just off doing the things normal teenage boys did together. Hanging out, playing Quidditch, things that he and James had done. And, in a sense, he was right. The two were doing things normal teenage boys did. Things Sirius and James had done quite often. Only James had done them with Lily. The two were very Sirius about making their relationship work and while they did spend much of the time making out and having snog sessions, they also spent much of their time together just talking. They were doing their best to get to know each other. The problem was, both boys were having trouble opening up. Their childhood hadn't come up once, almost as if the whole subject was taboo. Harry was nervous enough telling Sirius about it and his godfather couldn't break up with him. Slowly, he was making headway with Sirius, as his godfather was being very understanding, though he did often have to calm him down and stop him from hunting Vernon Dursley down right then. But Draco was another matter. For one thing, Harry was afraid Draco wouldn't want to be with someone who carried around that much emotional baggage. For another, he didn't wasn't his boyfriend pitying him. He did want anybody's pity. Draco was afraid to open up for both the same reasons. Not knowing Harry's past, or very little of it, he was afraid Harry would think he was high maintenance and not worth the effort. He was also afraid that Harry would change his mind, yet stay with him out of pity for the other boy. So the last week of June and the first 30 days of July passed without resolve.

Before anyone knew it, it was July 31. Harry's fifteenth birthday. Sirius had though about having a small get together, but ever since his uncle's beating, Harry had seemed a little weary around anyone but him, Draco, and Dumbledore. Sirius only hoped it would fade away by the time school started again. Once it did, he would have to leave, to ensure he wasn't seen by the wrong people and on a mission for Dumbledore. Harry and Draco would back to pretending to hate each other, and Sirius was afraid that Harry would become quiet and despondent, therefore only making himself feel worse about the situation. But, Sirius supposed they would have to deal with that when and if it happened. For now, he had two people he was able to talk to and it was his birthday. It was a time to celebrate. And Sirius was determined to celebrate, even if it was just he, Draco and Harry.

For the duration of the summer, both Harry and Draco were staying in the Gryfindorr dorms, while Sirius stayed in a room to himself in the teacher's wing. At midnight, July 31, Harry found himself sitting by the window, just watching the night sky. As long as he could remember, he had done this on his birthday. He didn't understand while was still doing it, he was happier then he had ever been before, but yet again, here he was. He sat there for awhile, he had lost track of the time, when he was surprised to feel a pair of arms wrap around his middle and a pair of lips come to rest on his ear.

"Happy Birthday, Harry." Draco whispered.

"For the first time that I can remember, I think it will be."

"I'm pretty sure Sirius is determined to make sure that it will be. He really cares for you."

"I know. That's why I worry about him. What if he gets caught, just because he was trying to protect me?"

"I think he considers it to be worth the risk."

"Well I don't! I'm not worth Azkaban, much less the Dementor's Kiss!"

Draco looked at Harry sadly, "Oh Harry. You are worth so much more than you will ever realize. I mean, first off, look at all you've done already."

Harry twisted around in his boyfriend's arms, a look of anger replacing sorrow. "I am so sick of that! I haven't done anything! It was my mum's protection that defeated Voldermort; I had nothing to do with it. Since then, it's not like I've gone looking for things to defeat. They found me, and yes, I survived, but barely! And this last time, yes, I survived once again, but the cost was someone else's life. I should have been the one to die not Cedric."

"Harry, you can't compare things like that. You can't often compare the actual value of a life. It is not your fault Cedric died. You did everything you could to prevent it, and it happened anyway. So you fulfilled his final wish and brought his body back to his parents. That is what he had wanted. That's as much as you could have done. It's as much as anyone could have done."

"But it wasn't enough!! Don't you get it? No matter what everyone says, he died because of me. He DIED Draco, and he's not coming back. And that is on my hands."

Harry tried to pull away at that, but Draco grabbed his hands and held them within his own, rubbing the cool, clammy skin in an effort to warm them. "Harry, stop it. Please, Sirius is worried about you. Dumbledore is worried about you. I'm worried about you. I'm afraid that if you keep placing the blame on yourself for something that is in no way your fault, you'll eventually snap. I can't lose you Harry. You're all I've got anymore. My parents, well, you know…"

Harry cut him off then, "At least you have parents."

"Harry, your parents died trying to save your life. Do you know what that says about how much they loved you?"

"Oh my God," Harry whimpered. 'Fuck. Fuck. All I am is a danger to anyone stupid enough to care about me. All I ever do is hurt the ones I care about the most. Jesus, I must be the worst damn thing that ever happened to you…"

"God DAMN it!" Draco took Harry and shook him like a terrier shakes a rat. "STOP! Just STOP!"

Their gazes locked, in pain and anguish, both of them wide-eyed and terrified. Draco's eyes closed slowly in misery as the past few moments sunk in, then opened in horror.

"Oh my dear Lord, Harry, I didn't mean to - tell me I didn't hurt you…"

They stared at each other for what seemed an interminable time of agony and suspense. Then Harry clutched Draco to him, crushingly, with a raw need and desperation that hurt to watch. "Never," he murmured, "never. Never. Never...."

"If I ever raise a hand to you, Harry, I swear I'd shoot myself…"

"Then we'd be headed straight for Hell together, Draco: I cannot, I will not live without you – I don't think I would be able to do it."

"I just shook you 'til your teeth rattled, Hon, I can't believe I…"

"You had every right, like slapping a woman who's having hysterics…"

"I don't think I could ever raise my hand to a woman ... course I thought I could never ever touch you in anger, but I did…"

"Baby, please, stop beating yourself up."

"But…"

"If I have to, you have to."

"You told me about your life. What your father did to you, everything else that was done to you, that was not your fault. If I have to stop blaming myself, so do you."

Draco quivered from sheer tension then seemed to collapse, like a bow unstrung, against his love.

"Draco, my precious, precious Draco. God, I sound like the queen. But you are precious. Fuck the macho bullshit. If I'm not dangerous, it's because you say so. Well, I say none of that was your fault."

"Don't. Harry. Just... don't." Draco closed his eyes in pain. "I've never wanted to... to talk about... look, my life before you is just something I... well, I mean nothing before you matters, anyway…"

"It matters, Draco. It made you who you are, and I love every fiber of your damn being, so it matters. It matters to me."

"I've tried so hard to forget it."

"I know you have. But we're going to work through it, all of it, just the two of us. And I promise I will be there every step of the way. Whatever road you travel in this life Draco, I will always be right behind you."

Draco gave his love a small smile, "Not behind me. Beside me." He kissed Harry then, one full of whispers of love and promises of what was to come.

§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§

It was much later that day when Harry first experienced a birthday celebration. Sirius joined him and Draco in the Gryfindorr common room, bringing with him a small cake a several presents.

Lighting the candles on the cake, Sirius told Harry to make a wish. He thought about it for a moment, then leaned down and blew out all fifteen with one big breath.

"Happy Birthday Harry! Now, do you want to eat or open your presents first?" Sirius asked.

"Let's eat first." Harry decided. So Sirius cut the cake in to three large pieces and the three of them ate in silence. And yet, the whole experience was still so incredible for Harry. He was with two of the most important people in his life and he could feel their affection for him radiating in waves.

When they were done eating, they moved to sit in the chairs near the fireplace. Harry sat with his presents spread out around him. He couldn't believe he had gotten so many. He had never gotten this many before. The first he opened was from Ron. It was a chess set with a note that Harry was to practice, because Ron wanted better competition this year. He opened Hermoine's next. There were several books along with a framed photo of them and Ron at the Winter Ball from the previous year. It was a wizard photo, so the people waved and smiled at him. Next was a gift from the twins, and Harry was unsurprised to find a large supply of dung bombs (new and improved from Weasley's Wizardly Wheezes), Canary Cremes, Ton-Tongue Toffee, and assorted other items, along with a note once again thanking Harry for the money. After that was a gift from Ginny (she had grown out of her crush stage over the past year, but the two remained friends). It, like Hermoine's, was more sentimental. She had given him several framed photos. There was one of the two of them, Harry giving Ginny a vicious noogie. One was of Harry, grasping the Snitch in his hand. He recognized the picture from the Quidditch tournament his third year. Another was of Harry and Ron playing a prank on some Slytherins. The next one was of Harry, Ron, Dean, Seamus, the twins, and Lee Jordan. Harry remembered it had been taken on one of their trips to Hogsmeade, where they all forgot their problems and had fun. That brought him to the last picture which surprised him. It was one of him and Sirius. Ginny had known about Sirius, and yet she had done nothing and told no one. Harry smiled.

The rest of the day Harry spent with Sirius and Draco, trying not to think about all that was wrong in his life. And it worked for the most part. Harry didn't realize till he went to bed that night that he had told Draco he loved him. He worried about it for a few minutes until he finally realized that, while he said it, he did mean it. He loved Draco.

But that didn't mean the problems weren't still there, as Harry was soon to find out.

To Be Continued

Author's Note: Well, there's chapter 10, I hope you all enjoyed it. Once again, the lack of reviews makes mr think that no one is reading, so I may end the story if it continues, so if you like this tory, please review. Anyways, if I continue, I hope to have Ch 11 out soon, so stay tuned. Hey, I'm a poet, but I do know it. I rhyme in good time. OKay I'm done. Till next time,
Emily