Finally, it's done. Thank you Moderator Misao for suggesting the challenge (sort of). I have never liked working on this fic, as I'm sure I've mentioned numerous times. I just hate it when fics are left unfinished though and swore I would never do that; so, my sanity gone, my computer in therapy from all the names I've called it, I have kept my word and finished it. I also should have picked another poet than Shakespeare because I'm not a big fan of his sonnets either. Well, it's over with and I'm glad and I am also glad that others were able to glean some enjoyment from it.

Disclaimer: Rk's not mine!

Warning: some steamy kissing, some implied sex but nothing beyond the PG-13 rating.

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We have seen many wine drinkers

at life's party

Who have exchanged a cup full of their desires

for a beggar's bowl ---- Nabi

"Where is Misao?" Aoshi asked, his tone light and casual so as not to draw any speculation from anyone.

"Isn't she home yet?" Okon answered him absently as she worked on setting out food for everyone who would be at the Aoiya that evening, giving directions to Beshimi and Shiro, the latter not failing to look up at him when he mentioned Misao's name. "She left before any of us and should be home by now. Did you check her room?"

Aoshi mumbled an appropriate response and walked away. He had not checked her room, he didn't need to; he could feel her absence from the Aoiya like no one else and did not need to check any room to know she wasn't there. He made his way out to the garden area, although it was highly unlikely she would be there he thought it was better to make certain; as he suspected, it was vacant. Aoshi walked back through the hall passing the small table laden with the gifts each member of the household had purchased and carefully decorated for each other and those who were invited to join them this evening. Aoshi's eyes swept the expanse of gifts, widening slightly when he noticed the absence of one in particular. The bright, silk cloth it had been wrapped in, glared at him from the day she had set it there and now the empty space it had occupied glared at him as well. He knew where she'd gone and although none was needed he made his way back to the kitchen for confirmation.

"Okon?" Aoshi asked again in his casual voice. "Will the Ishida's be joining us tonight?"

"No." She answered again still not suspecting anything although Aoshi could feel Shiro's eyes on him. "Kazuhiko told Misao earlier that his parent's had made other plans and he was obliged to go with them."

"She's going to be so disappointed at not being able to give him the gift she bought for him." Omasu chimed in from nearby, earning a nod of agreement from Okon.

Aoshi remained silent, offering a small nod at Okon's reply; he turned slightly and lifted his eyes to meet the sharp gaze of Shiro that he could still feel upon him. It was impossible not to read the message in the young man's eyes, however subtle he attempted to be the warning was clear, 'leave her be'. As always Aoshi's eyes revealed nothing of what he was feeling, the eyes that stared back at Shiro were empty and expressionless; he held Shiro's gaze for several moments before Omasu distracted the young ninja with a request.

"You will be joining us wont you Aoshi-sama?" Okon's question stopped him when he turned to leave.

"Aah." He affirmed then walked away, moving down the hall to his room where, without any intention of doing so, he donned his overcoat and made his way out the back the Aoiya, his feet making barely a sound as he walked through the garden and out the gate.

He knew that Hanya stood nearby, he could feel his presence in the shadows watching him with concerned eyes, knowing full well where his Okashira was headed. Aoshi pushed the gate open and stepped out into the streets, moving quickly and quietly through the few people who were still out strolling in the sulfur laden air. Some would catch a glimpse of the tall figure in the light colored overcoat that whisked by them; others merely felt a swift breeze.

Aoshi headed straight for Ishida's, his heart racing as he tried to outrun the whirlwind spinning in his head. His desperate actions had made him act without thinking, something he wasn't prone to do; he had no idea what he would do or say once he found the two of them. Wait nearby while the two of them awkwardly exchanged gifts under the watchful eye of Misao's obviously demented guardian, or maybe demand, as her Okashira, that she return with him at once? Aoshi wanted to laugh at his own foolishness, knowing that no matter what he said or did, his mere presence there would show how desperate he was.

Ishida's quiet voice interrupted his thoughts and Aoshi stepped back into the shadows as his surroundings revealed he was in front of their shop. He caught sight of Misao immediately as she followed the young man along a clearly marked path to the rear of the building, the small lantern he held lighting their way. She was still dressed in the kimono she had worn earlier, looking very elegant and proper; there was no evidence of the little hell raiser Aoshi knew was lurking under all that satin that swished as she moved. When the two passed through a gate and disappeared from sight Aoshi remained where he was, intending to wait for Misao. He managed only a few minutes before he thought better of his decision and made his way around the other side of the Ishida's shop. He remained among the dark canopy of trees that hid him and settled on a branch that was large enough to hold his weight and high enough to afford him a view of the entire area.

The two of them were sitting on a bench, he could see the silk wrapped gift that had glared at him from the small table in the Aoiya sitting, unwrapped, behind Ishida who was now reaching into his breast pocket. The item he removed was small, from Aoshi's vantage point it looked like nothing more than folded paper but with the amount of money the merchant Ishida's had Aoshi knew better. The quiet gasp from Misao as she unwrapped the item and now stared at it resting in her palm convinced Aoshi that it was indeed very expensive. He noted Misao's reluctance to touch it and felt a small triumph at Ishida's having bought her something that was so expensive she could not possibly enjoy it. His triumph was short lived as he watched Ishida pluck the small item from her hand, brush her hair back from her face, pinning it in place with a small, silver hair comb. Aoshi did not miss how Ishida's fingers lingered on her hair then brushed against her cheek and it was almost more than he could bear. He clenched his fists tightly; his nails biting into the palms of his sword callused, hands, relaxing again only when Ishida climbed to his feet and stood before Misao who remained seated. Aoshi watched curiously as the young man unwrapped a small stringed instrument and whispered something to Misao, suddenly the air was filled with the arresting sounds of his music.

Aoshi had heard this type of instrument before, in the company of those who entertained wealthy westerners it seemed to be quite popular. Ishida's playing was different however, there was emotion in it and the powerful notes seemed to reflect exactly what was in Aoshi's own heart. He didn't like the idea of allowing Ishida a concession in anything but it was quite obvious the young man was truly a master with his playing. His eyes drifted back to Misao who was no less affected by the enchanting sounds; her eyes closed, her pale skin glowing in the lamplight. His fists tightened as desire burned in him and he quietly, unintentionally whispered her name.

Aoshi feared he'd given himself away with that one whispered word as the music suddenly came to a stop and nearly sighed when it became obvious no one heard him. He would not feel relief for long, icy dread filled him as he watched Ishida kiss Misao, he felt a sharp twisting pain in his chest as the young man, now sitting beside her on the bench, gathered her in his arms and pulled her closer. Aoshi wanted to kill Kazuhiko Ishida in that moment, the next he felt as though he were dying himself as he watched Misao's hands bury themselves in his hair, returning Ishida's kiss fervently. It was more than even he could bear and so he silently turned away from the two lovers, climbed down the tree and back around to the street.

Aoshi did not hurry or make an attempt to move with any stealth as he made his way back to the Aoiya. The image of Misao with Ishida pictured clearly in his mind, haunting him, making his surroundings unseen. He tried to banish the image from his mind but he could not, eyes open or closed it would not leave him; it was a punishment he supposed. A punishment for pushing away the one his heart desired most, the feelings she harbored for him were being driven out by her feelings for another. Someone else was taking his place in her heart, someone who was kind and saw her and what she offered for what they were… precious gifts.

Was she truly in love with Ishida? He wondered his heart filling with fear…something he'd never known until he'd gone from loving Misao to being 'in love' with Misao, however long ago that might have been, he could not recall. Aoshi could almost hear the countless slain enemies of his past laughing at him, the sound drifting up from the depths of hell where they were now confined and drifting around him, taunting him. He cared not for their mockery, what was that compared to a bleak and unbearable life without her. There was nothing compared to that he knew and so was resolved to keep her with him no matter how desperate or foolish it made him in the eyes of anyone else, he would never let her go; not to Ishida, not to anyone.

"Is everything all right Okashira?" Hanya's voice from the shadows stopped any further thought on the subject; Aoshi focused on his surroundings, surprised to find himself standing at the back of the Aoiya. Further testament to how much he was affected that he had not even known, had been completely oblivious to his surroundings. His hand tightened on the gate, his knuckles whitening as his fingers bit into the wood; he could not so much as formulate a single word this time and merely nodded his head in reply.

"A message came for you earlier." As Aoshi pushed the gate open and stepped through it Hanya's voice stopped him once more. He turned and walked back to retrieve the folded sheet of paper from Hanya's outstretched hand.

//Your assistance is needed, meet me at the police station.//

Aoshi turned and headed back through the gate and down the street, answering 'no' to Hanya's question as to whether he needed him to accompany him.

----

"Captain Fujita." The young officer called the false name of the former Shinsengumi captain, now a government official who posed as a nobody cop. The officer left Aoshi to the wolf of Mibu after ushering him in, closing the door behind him as he exited.

Saitoh needed no introduction to those who also fought during the Bakamatsu; any of the older Oniwabanshu would know him on sight, even without his topknot and the uniform of the Shinsengumi. Much like Aoshi and the other Oniwabanshu Saitoh lived as a warrior during this supposed peaceful Meiji era, picking it clean of those who would corrupt and defile their homeland, with his own brand of justice.

"Forgive my summoning you Okashira." The smooth voice floated from the still figure that remained seated behind the desk. "I thought it best not to intrude upon the Oniwabanshu New Year celebration."

"It would be no intrusion." Aoshi stepped further into the room. "I'm sure you would be welcome to join us."

"I'm sure." Saitoh chuckled with sarcasm as he stood and walked around his desk. "Unfortunately for me, when I have police business to discuss I cannot relax or think of anything else until I have done so."

"Another time perhaps." Aoshi offered wondering what would induce Saitoh to summon him on this night of all. The man was direct; often rude but to interrupt a celebration, such as tonight's, was no trivial thing.

Saitoh nodded his thanks for the invitation and lifted a sheet of paper from his desk; he held it up for Aoshi to look at then set it back on his desk without Aoshi reading one word written upon it.

"This is a confession outlining the detailed shipments of drugs leaving and entering Japan, the distributions of those drugs and..." Saitoh paused, a twisted grin appearing on his face. "It also names the source behind the illegal drug ring."

Aoshi did not flinch, he gave no indication that he had heard Saitoh at all, merely stood and waited for the other man to continue. After taking his time lighting a cigarette he did.

"We were quite surprised at discovering only one person ran the entire business and even more surprised at discovering who ran it." Saitoh puffed on his cigarette and blew a cloud of smoke into the air. "The merchant behind the entire ring has hid his activities well, his political connections are numerous and as he pays them all a great deal of money he has remained conveniently unnoticed."

"And you brought me down here for what exactly?" Aoshi asked wanting Saitoh to get to the point.

"You're not very patient this evening." Saitoh commented while putting his cigarette out in the small glass dish upon his desk. Aoshi remained silent. "I would like to rid Japan of this merchant and the corrupt politicians who continue to aid and abet him in one simple step."

"You would like to enlist the assistance of the Oniwabanshu to do this?" Aoshi asked.

"Yes." Saitoh paused and lit yet another cigarette filling the room with a new cloud of smoke after the other had at last dissipated. "That and I wish to caution you."

"Caution me?" Came Aoshi's incredulous reply. "Whatever for?"

"The merchant named on this sheet of paper." Saitoh lifted it briefly and dropped it again. "Is Ishida."

Aoshi hid his surprise well; he merely stared at Saitoh who sat puffing his cigarette, the ever-present sardonic grin on his face and his eyes that missed nothing watching his every move.

Ishida? He thought with disbelief. He would never have thought to suspect them of illegal practices, still they did display a degree of wealth that the father seemed a little too simple minded to achieve. His next thoughts were of Misao, he would have to ensure that she had no part of this mission. There had been no mention of the merchant's son in this matter. Still, the entire family would most certainly feel the shame and although he didn't care what Kazuhiko Ishida suffered, he would not have Misao suffer, which is no doubt why Saitoh would want to caution him.

"Was the entire family named?" Aoshi wanted clarification.

Saitoh who was making his way back around his desk turned and stared at the younger man, his sharp eyes narrowing further as they stared back at Aoshi.

"His wife was named as being aware of all these transactions." Saitoh spoke while leaning over to once again butt out the cigarette in the small glass dish. "She supposedly is the one who kept the books that recorded the money they brought in, the money they paid out and to whom. You can imagine my desire to have these books I am sure."

Aoshi nodded remaining silent for several moments before asking, 'I have a favor to ask of you Saitoh.'

"And that would be?" The other man asked, folding his arms across his chest as he waited for Aoshi to continue although he was not fooled that Saitoh hadn't already guessed what he would ask.

"That Ishida's involvement in these illegal activities, that his arrest not be a public one." Aoshi's words seemed rushed, even to his own ears and it was clear Saitoh had the same impression as one thin eyebrow raised in question. "I see no reason to make the innocent son suffer for the sins of the father."

"How extraordinarily noble of you." Aoshi turned slightly to avoid the wolf's sharp eyes and sarcastic tone as he stepped closer and continued quietly although Aoshi could not miss his speculative tone. "But perhaps, a public arrest might be more to your benefit."

Aoshi made no comment merely frowned as he turned back and met Saitoh's gaze; his mouth still twisted into a smirk.

"It would certainly remove an obstacle that is currently in your path." Saitoh explained and when Aoshi continued to remain silent Saitoh lowered his eyes to Aoshi's chest then poked a finger to where his heart beat beneath. "We both formed our ideals and impressions among the same violence Okashira and like you, my feelings are not openly displayed, however this insight makes your heart an open book to me and I can see who it beats for."

The shock filling Aoshi at Saitoh's words remained disguised through long years of practice. He did not miss Saitoh's knowing smirk telling him that his stoic face did nothing to hide his feelings from him.

"Still, if she is in here..." Saitoh's finger pressed into Aoshi's chest. "Then you would stop at nothing to secure her happiness; even if it's letting her go to someone else."

Aoshi's mask did not slip at Saitoh's words, nor did it slip when the image of Ishida and Misao kissing appeared before his eyes and caused his heart to constrict painfully in his chest. He knocked Saitoh's finger away with a swipe of his arm. The other man merely stepped away, lit another cigarette and leaned against his desk. He watched Aoshi for several moments as he took a long drag of the offensive thing, the red ember glowing brighter, yellowing until it nearly matched the strange hue of his eyes.

"Can I count on you Shinomori?" Smoke billowing out with his words as if he were a dragon.

"You can." Aoshi inclined his head. "As long as my one condition is met."

Saitoh nodded his agreement; Aoshi turned and left the office ignoring the stares of the officers and the small, redheaded boy with sharp eyes who carried a sword openly in his belt as he passed.

The quiet streets of Kyoto were even more so now, the calm only disturbed by the occasional merrymakers whose boisterous behavior filtered out of their well-lit windows and into the streets. He imagined things were well underway at the Aoiya and he would hear the same laughter and merriment once he reached it. He wondered if Misao would be home when he got there.

As he thought of her Aoshi thought of what Saitoh had said, 'if she is in here then you would stop at nothing to secure her happiness; even if it's letting her go to someone else.' He was right, damn it! It was ironic, not to mention somewhat disturbing that a man whose past was painted with so much blood and violence could point out to him the feelings of his heart. Aoshi had been so convinced that his love for her meant that he could not be without her, that he had to do everything to keep her with him, but that wasn't true. Loving her meant that he would be happy knowing that she was happy and if that meant giving her up to Kazuhiko Ishida then, as painful as it would be, he would do it. Still, he would not let her go without protest, he would still do anything in his power to convince her to stay.

----

As he guessed the Aoiya was alive with the sounds of celebration, lanterns gave off the appearance of daylight there were so many lit. Aoshi made his way in as discreetly as possible and moved off to the side, his eyes were in search of Misao the moment he walked through the door. He moved among the people, his eyes sweeping the familiar and unfamiliar faces of those present, politely refusing the numerous offers of sake he received, commenting when it was necessary for him to do so in a conversation he had paid no attention to.

He was still wearing his coat and beneath, his kodachi, without drawing attention to himself Aoshi backed into the kitchen and down the hall to his room. There he removed both items and after taking a moment to straighten out his clothing, made his way back to the party. The noise growing louder as he neared the kitchen once more, louder still when he pushed the door open and then all was silent, as if the world had stopped as he came face to face with Misao.

His eyes dropped immediately to her lips, remembering the events of earlier this evening; he did not know what he expected to find, the remnants of Ishida's kiss maybe. Nothing had changed however, it was still the same soft, full mouth that tempted him, that beckoned him, that made him forget everything except pressing his own mouth against hers.

Would they still feel as soft as he remembered? Aoshi wondered his hand lifting from his side to test his theory by brushing his fingers across her lips. Would they still taste as sweet? He could feel his body leaning forward.

"Su… Sumimasen." Her whisper broke through the spell he was falling under; he blinked as he realized he had not moved a muscle, had merely imagined it. He raised his eyes to hers only to be lost in the spell of their midnight blue depths and when he made no attempt to move Misao ducked around him, retrieved whatever it was she'd come after and returned to the boisterous crowd in the restaurant.

Not a word, not from her and not from himself; he had planned on telling her how he felt when next he saw her and he'd done no more than gaze like some love sick fool when the opportunity came. He could not even use the excuse that she had rushed out before he had the opportunity, for he knew one word would have kept her there.

He would have to tell her. He admitted thinking perhaps it was best that he had not done so a moment ago, if he had and she'd declared that Ishida was her choice, she would never forgive him being involved in this business with Saitoh against the boy's family. It was better to wait until the matter with the police was wrapped up; his parents quietly arrested and Kazuhiko Ishida free of any charges.

With that decided Aoshi rejoined the crowd in the restaurant; he kept his distance from Misao the entire night but his eyes followed her every move, never losing sight of her for a moment.

----

"Gokuro arimashita!" Okina complained about all the hard work while stretching his arms and yawning, gaining the attention of the real laborers over tonight's party, namely the three female members of the Oniwabanshu. "Especially for an old man like me."

Aoshi raised an eyebrow as he continued in his task of stacking up the many serving trays left around the restaurant. He didn't think Okina had lifted a finger in the preparations for tonight except to point to where he wanted the lanterns placed and knew that his attempt to take credit for having done so would not go unnoticed.

"Nani!?" Okon was the first to voice her objection and Okina cringed in case any flying objects accompanied her voice. "You haven't done anything!"

Okina grinned sheepishly and stayed clear of the others as they continued to grumble about lazy old men who didn't know when to be quiet. Aoshi shook his head and carried the trays into the kitchen where he and Beshimi set about washing them. All traces of the party were erased in no time with all of them working simultaneously, with the exception of Okina, who always seemed to find something, that needed his direct and immediate attention when someone suggested he help.

"Misao." Omasu's voice called from the doorway, as they were all about to leave the kitchen and migrate toward the main gathering area away from the restaurant. "Will you help Aoshi-sama prepare and carry the items for tea? Okon and I will gather the gifts."

Aoshi looked up in surprise at Omasu's suggestion, his eyes going to the obviously uncomfortable Misao whom he could tell wanted to refuse. After a moment or too of silence she dropped her eyes to the ground and awkwardly agreed. Omasu smiled and nodded then left the room, everyone else who had not already done so left as well and they were once more alone in the kitchen.

Her discomfort and nervousness were obvious as they worked together in silence, the clinking of the porcelain and her shuffling feet the only sound. He looked at her face as she moved to stand next to him, she glanced up and her eyes widened at meeting his and she hurriedly looked away, the teacups rattling in her shaking hands as she reached to place them on the tray. Unable to bear her suffering any longer he placed his hand gently atop hers and removed the cups from her grasp, setting them atop the tray.

"Misao." He whispered her eyes wide as she stared up at him, he sighed heavily at how things had changed so much between them, everything was so different now and he felt bad that he had done this to them. "You were not always so uneasy in my company."

"No." Her voice barely above a whisper was accompanied by the light shake of her head. He caught the light flash of something falling from her hair, he bent and quickly caught it before it hit the floor, and opened his hand as he straightened. Misao gasped, her hand going to her hair, confirming that it was indeed hers.

Ishida's gift. Aoshi surmised. The silver butterfly weighed next to nothing in his palm, he could probably close his hand around it and crush it without a great deal of effort.

"Ishida has very fine taste." He spoke quietly watching her eyes widen in surprise as he leaned closer, reached up and placed the butterfly securely in her hair.

They were standing so close, barely an inch between them, her breath tickling his skin beneath his shirt, he placed his fingers under her chin and peered into her blue eyes, wide with uncertainty and he supposed a little panic. He trailed his fingers lightly from her chin to her temple and leaned closer.

"Omedeto, Misao." He whispered against her skin before brushing his mouth across her cheek. It had been some time since he had last tasted her skin or felt the smoothness of it against his lips and he found it was just as intoxicating as it had been the first time. It had been his intent to stop here but he found himself unable to control the decent of his lips toward hers.

"Aoshi-sama." She sighed, cut off as his lips met hers, his hands moved gently but possessively over her shoulders and down her back, pulling her closer. Her hands fisted in the front of his shirt trapped between their two bodies.

"Misaooo!" Okina's bellowing from down the hall prompted them to jump apart. They stared at each other in wide-eyed shock and confusion from opposite sides of the room. "Go tell Hanya to come inside!"

"Ha… Hai!" She shouted back, her eyes never leaving his as she backed out of the room to go do as she was told.

----

Hanya watched curiously as the young woman who had just burst through the doors, a determined step to her walk suddenly halted and slumped back against the wall. She was indeed acting strange tonight; earlier when she'd come home by herself and now this. His brows furrowed as she flapped her hands very quickly in front of her face, as if she were fanning herself, she stopped almost as quickly as she'd begun and then pressed her fingers to her lips. She stayed like that for a full minute then shook her head again roughly, fanned herself some more and then began straightening her kimono; brushing away any wrinkles, closing up the neckline some and shifting her obi.

She was trying so hard to appear as a lady; Hanya wanted to smile at this as he knew that everyone already saw her as so much more. She walked out into the garden area, her steps making not a sound on the wooden floor as she strolled the garden's perimeter slowly.

"Hanya?" She called quietly, her voice trembling ever so slightly, letting him know that something was troubling her a great deal, she couldn't hide her voice behind her elegant appearance. "Hanya? Doko?"

He separated himself from the shadows and before he made a sound she swung around to face him, having sensed where he was. She was getting better at doing this and Hanya believed that she might have sensed him even sooner if she was not already distracted by something else.

"What is it Misao?" He asked quietly walking up to stand in front of her, his eyes taking in the small silver comb in her hair, the flushed look of her skin and the pulse that beat quicker than normal at her throat.

"O… Okina sent me out here to bring you inside." She stuttered and grasped his hand pulling him as she turned to make her way into the Aoiya. "He wants to make certain you open your gifts as well."

"Che… he probably only wants to see if I got him a gift." Hanya scoffed at the old man's greedy nature. He did not miss Misao's absent smile at his offhand remark; she was smiling because it was appropriate, because she did not want him to think anything was bothering her. The empty smile only served to further his suspicions.

"Misao." He stopped abruptly as he spoke her name and she turned to look at him curiously. "Is everything all right? I am always here for you and if you have something you wish to talk about, please feel free to do so."

She smiled kindly at him and nodded, her hand tightening in his as she stepped up kissed his mask covered cheek, and then proceeded to pull him along with her to where everyone was gathered in the Aoiya.

Hanya's eyes went straight to Aoshi when he entered the room; he was sitting in a corner sipping tea while listening to whatever it was Okon was telling him. He looked up and met his gaze as soon as he entered and the look was an indication that he wished to see him as soon as it was politely acceptable that they leave the room. Hanya inclined his head minutely, an action that was probably missed by everyone in the room other than his Okashira, exactly as it was meant to be.

Relaxing into a quiet unobtrusive corner Hanya gained far more pleasure watching others open their gifts than receiving his own. Their anticipation as they tried unsuccessfully to contain themselves and not rip open their gifts. The surprised gasps at each new gift, the thankful smile and the elated gleam in their eye as they sought out the one that had given it to them. After some time and most of the gifts had been handed out, Hanya noticed Aoshi's slight movement, indicating it was time for business to take precedence once again. Almost that same moment Misao climbed to her feet announcing that she had gifts for everyone as well. As Hanya started to worry over having to hurt her feelings he noticed Aoshi lift two of his fingers; an indication that they were to hold off leaving the room just yet. His eyes widened and he glanced over to see Beshimi and Shikijou looking at each other and shrugging their shoulders at this strange behavior from Aoshi.

What was he up to? Hanya wondered. He'd never been indecisive, once he'd made up his mind that was it and as for interrupting the small party here, they all understood what it was that went on under the guise of the restaurant. He looked back at Aoshi who seemed as though there was nothing out of the ordinary. Noting his intent gaze, Hanya followed the path of his Okashira's eyes, finding them trained on Misao, he looked back at Aoshi and could not help but see how his eyes followed her every move. When she turned to approach Aoshi, her arm extended, offering him her small gift, he climbed to his feet and took it from her with both hands. Hanya did not miss the lingering of Aoshi's fingers on her hands or the way their eyes met and held before Misao turned away and sat back in the spot she had previously occupied, Aoshi watched her and sat down only after she did. Hanya looked around the room, it appeared he'd been the only one who was not so overly engrossed in their gift to witness what had just happened, even that nosy Okina had failed to see it.

All though she tried to hide it and was successful for the most part, she could not hide from Hanya's sharp eyes. In between the small hugs, pats on the head and kisses on the cheek for the gifts she had given, Misao watched with nervous anticipation as Aoshi slowly unwrapped the gift she had given him. When he set the silk cloth aside and revealed a book he raised his eyes to hers; the look that Hanya could see in them left him in no doubt of the true feelings in Aoshi's heart. He loved her, more than that, he was 'in love' with her. Still, knowing the Okashira as well as he did, Hanya could not help but wonder if Aoshi would ever be able to tell Misao how he felt. He had suspected Aoshi's feelings for Misao for many months and the same uneasy conclusion was always the result. Aoshi had never been one to let his emotions govern him and although he had seen him do so recently, Hanya doubted he was capable of the type of vulnerability such a confession would certainly require. He was a warrior, first and foremost; in his heart were fighting, war and being victorious in the latter.

Where would love find a home in such a heart? Hanya wondered as he watched Aoshi place the small book inside his shirt and rise from his seat; himself, Beshimi and Shikijou all doing likewise. The other Oniwabanshu followed their movements, knowing it was something that could not be avoided. Okina nodded at Aoshi's significant look and as the four of them left the room he could hear the old man trying to regain the cheerfulness of earlier as he merrily passed out the gifts from Aoshi to those left behind. More specifically rummaged through the gifts to find one labeled for him.

Hanya followed along quietly putting behind him Aoshi's odd behavior as he now committed his full attention to whatever it was his Okashira would ask of him. They filed into the 'secret' meeting room after Aoshi, the others joining him around the small table he sat behind while Hanya preferred to remain standing in front of the closed shoji.

"It appears the police require our assistance once again." Aoshi's voice filled the room and they were all deeply attentive to his every word. "The man Shikijou apprehended nearly a month ago has confessed, revealing all he knows of the drug ring that tarnishes our fair city and the rest of Japan as well."

"It would appear that in exchange for his freedom, he has exposed the entire operation, naming shipping vessels, sea routes as well as land routes and destinations." Aoshi took a deep breath, crossed his arms over his chest and continued. "He has also named key political figures in Japan, China and Europe who were involved, as well as named the person behind the entire ring of corruption and dishonor."

"Our task is quite simple." Aoshi continued. "We are to enter this person's house and retrieve ledgers that have recorded all names, transactions and shipments with regards to this drug ring."

Aoshi was quiet for several moments before once again continuing to speak. 'I have chosen you three not only for your skills but also because I may be assured of your secrecy. Not a word of what we have discussed here tonight leaves this room, mention it to no one, especially Misao.' At the mention of Misao Hanya frowned, wondering what she could have to do with this.

"If it gets back to me that any of you have failed to keep silent on this matter." Aoshi's voice remained calm as he spoke, they all knew better than to take him lightly simply because the sound of his voice was not harsh. "The punishment will be severe."

They all gave a single nod of their head, which Aoshi acknowledged, with a nod of his own. Silence filled the room once more as Aoshi hesitated in continuing, as if he were collecting the right words for what he had to tell them.

"Two nights from now you will go to the residence of the merchant Ishida. Shikijou, you are to keep watch from the street and inform Beshimi of any anomalies; Beshimi, you are to keep watch from the rooftop of the house and make certain Hanya has no obstacles." Aoshi's directions were concise and to the point. "Hanya, you are to actually retrieve the ledgers and once this is done I want them brought to the small booth next to the boat launch."

The merchant Ishida? Hanya thought silently as he made his way to his room after they had all been dismissed. No wonder he didn't want Misao to find out.

----

Having made up her mind Misao let her yukata slip from her shoulders and with great care lifted the kimono and slipped her arms through. For two days she had laid it out on her bed, inspecting every inch of the beautiful dark blue silk, the delicate sakura embroidered at the hem and across one sleeve. Someone had taken great care in making the beautiful garment and she had been afraid that if she touched it, if her fingers so much as brushed across the fabric's surface it would forever be ruined. She was being absurd and she knew it but it did take some heavy self-berating for her to finally get over her ridiculous doubts.

The fabric whispered over her bare skin as she bent down and retrieved the pale pink obi then straightened to fasten it around her waist.

She walked to the full length mirror that Hanya had given to her for her sixteenth birthday and stood shocked at her own image. Never had she seen herself looking so much like… a woman. The thought nearly made her want to laugh as her eyes swept the length of her reflection, her curves were clearly outlined in the clinging silk. Fidgeting slightly while trying, unsuccessfully, at pulling the neckline closed, as she was unused to having so much of her shoulders and chest exposed.

She had never worn a kimono like this one before, the pale, juvenile colors of those she owned were a girl's kimonos and she'd felt like a girl in them; this kimono… everything about it, the color, the embroidery, the way it was cut, was meant for a woman. She lifted her hand and pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering the way Aoshi had kissed her that night in the kitchen, the way a man kisses a woman.

She shook her head as nothing made any sense. Aoshi had told her he would never see her as anything more than a little girl all those months ago, if that were true then; how could he kiss her the way he did, or look at her with his eyes blazing fire? And how could he give a gift such as this kimono to someone he saw as merely a little girl?

"He couldn't." Misao whispered as her eyes swept the length of her reflection in the mirror.

A slight movement outside her window caught her attention and Misao looked up from her reflection. She didn't see anything and was about to look away when a small, white, feather floated past her window, then another, then another and as the next one drifted down she realized it wasn't feathers at all but snow. Approaching the window she pushed it open further and stared at the increasing flurry drifting down from nowhere as if by magic. She felt one on her cheek and smiled, leaning out the window to try and catch one she stretched as far as she could reach, feeling their cool lightness against her skin before it melted in her palm.

For all her assertion at being a woman Misao could not help but be reduced to a child at seeing the first snow of winter. She turned away from the window and headed out of her room and downstairs. If it wasn't the middle of the night she might call to the others but knew they wouldn't appreciate the snow as she did she left them to their warm futons as she passed by them in the hall. Sliding open the shoji she gasped, the garden was perfect and she slipped into her shoes and stepped outside. Laughing as she chased down the elusive white flakes, trying to catch them in her hand as she danced and twirled about, her hands open to catch the swirling snow.

----

Aoshi slid the door open and stepped through, his eyes falling on Misao; he could not move, could barely even breath, arrested at the sight of her dancing in the snow, dressed in the kimono that he'd given her. She twirled about in the garden trying to capture the errant snowflakes that fell lightly around her. The glow of clouds, reflecting brightly with the promise of more snow, turned her black hair blue, her skin to fine white porcelain.

She was both womanly and childlike, dressed so elegantly she could stroll among the finest courtiers, yet her actions were carefree, like that of a young girl not yet imposed upon by the trials of nearing adulthood. Her eyes sparkled with innocence and her long braid swayed with her movements.

His heart would not allow him to be silent and he breathed her name, 'Misao', just as his heart beat the same. She turned at the whisper of her name, her eyes growing wide as she met his.

"Aoshi-sama!" She gasped and her arms dropped to her sides, her playfulness forgotten. They stood silent for what seemed a lifetime and she finally lowered her eyes to the ground, mumbled an apology and turned to leave.

"Misao..." He was suddenly spurred into action and stepped after her retreating back, he lifted his arms and lightly placed a hand on each of her shoulders. She halted immediately and he could feel her entire body grow tense as he moved even closer and whispered near her ear. "Please don't go."

Oniwabanshu business that he wanted her to know nothing of had kept him away from her since their encounter during the New Year celebration and he had spent every spare moment of that time thinking of nothing but being this close to her again. He tightened his grasp on her shoulders slightly, his thumbs brushing light circles upon the silk that covered her skin.

"Cold?" He asked when she shivered. She gave a slight nod of her head and then gasped as his arms reached out around her, one across her chest the other around her waist, pulling her back against him. He bowed his head, his cheek brushing against her soft hair; his lips teased the bare skin between her neck and shoulder.

"Aoshi-sama…" She whispered breathlessly, her voice barely audible in the silence. He lifted his head slightly, giving a slow negative shake of his head before kissing her cheek.

"Aoshi." He whispered against her cheek, punctuating his name with another kiss. "Aoshi."

She made not a sound and for several moments did not move then he felt her twisting in his embrace, turning around to face him. He was immediately lost in the bottomless, blue depths of her eyes; he could feel her fingers slowly sliding into his hair, the pressure of her hands as she pulled him toward her. As if under a spell he could do nothing but bend to meet the lips that she raised to his, falling victim to her kiss. The light pressure of her mouth soon grew persistent, heated and he groaned as he matched her fervor. His hand at the small of her back drew her closer; he could feel every inch of her, every curve pressed against him and the sensation was pushing him beyond the limits of his control. He wanted her even closer, no kimono, no clothing, nothing between them, just the feel of her skin against his own.

Aoshi dropped his hand that had been cupping her cheek to her shoulder, his fingers lightly tracing over her bare skin, he felt Misao shudder and pulled back, lifting his head and ending their kiss. Her eyes fluttered open to stare into his, widening slightly as his fingers drifted lightly from her shoulder across to her collarbone, delicately tracing its outline. His fingers trailed down further, drawing over the small scar on her chest, barely visible; he could still remember the day that she had fallen onto one of Hanya's kunai after being strictly forbidden to touch them. Through trial and error Aoshi and the others who helped raise her learned that the one way to ensure Misao would do something was to forbid her to do so, her curious nature would always get the better of her.

"I'm surprised you still have a scar". He whispered lifting his eyes from the small scar to meet hers. "It was such a long time ago."

"Aoshi." Her soft, quivering voice interrupted several moments of silence while Aoshi continued to caress the small imperfection on her skin. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because." He whispered as his hand reached up to once again caress her cheek, brushing her hair back from her face. "You enchant me."

He cut off her sharp gasp with a kiss, his mouth light and gentle on hers, his hand still gently cupping her cheek. He could feel her hands fisting in his shirt at his chest, clinging to him as she raised up onto her toes and returned his kiss. If he could remain in but one moment of time forever he would remain here, with her wrapped in his embrace; he tightened his arm about her waist as the snow continued to drift around them.

----

Misao swept the broom aimlessly in front of her, she could not say if the floor was any cleaner than it was a moment ago. The same absentmindedness had gotten her banished from helping out in the kitchen, Omasu having ordered her out here rather than see another dish get broken. She moved slowly along the wooden floor, thoughts of the night before would intrude and she would pause. Her eyes would be inexplicably drawn to the garden, the perimeter of which she now swept.

The winter sky had grown dark; clouds would drift by and block the moon for a time. The temperature had dropped and she was certain it was going to snow again. She hoped so, the light snow they'd received the night before had all but disappeared by morning, making it seem as if it were no more than a dream. Aoshi had seemed to disappear as well, she had not seen him since he walked her to her bedroom door last night; he had left the Aoiya before she'd climbed out of bed and had not returned.

Aoshi. His name whispered through her and a spreading warmth settled over her, as she thought of the way he had held her in his arms, gentle but possessive. She pressed her fingers to her lips as she thought of the way he had kissed her, sometimes light and soft, she pressed harder with her fingers, sometimes heavy and demanding. She felt her face grow hot and new she was blushing furiously, shaking her head she turned her attention back to her task and began sweeping. The hurried swipes of the broom started to slow again as her mind began to wander once more, recalling a night that the air had been too stifling to allow her to sleep, it had led her out here, to him. Aoshi had held her and kissed her in the same convincing way as he had last night; he had whispered passionately against her lips and then denied his feelings for her in the same breath.

What was she to think? Was he telling the truth then or was he now? She sighed heavily as her confusion grew, making her head hurt and her heart grow heavy. To own it, Misao was frightened, frightened of feelings that could wound her beyond repair. She'd had a glimpse of how painful those wounds could be not long ago and knew she could not bear the brunt of that pain again. She'd much rather starve her heart of what it wanted and spend her life in relative safety, with someone who would not consume her as Aoshi did… someone like Kazuhiko Ishida.

Not once since New Year, since Aoshi had kissed her in the kitchen, had she thought of Kazuhiko, until now. She could not stem the tide of guilt she felt, its waves lapping closer and closer to her, washing away the ground that she stood on. Misao shook her head and tried not to think about it, her attempt hopeless as the sound of her name being called made her whip around and stare into the smiling eyes of Kazuhiko.

He bowed politely and she did likewise before hesitantly walking toward him, she did not have to take many steps as he rushed toward her. He immediately grasped her hands in his, his smile widening as he gazed at her and led her down into the garden. She tried her best to smile back at him in the same manor but knew she lacked the enthusiasm. Her mind was too full of the events that had taken place in the last few days, not the least of which was the kiss they had shared. She had not even been kissing him really, she had allowed herself to drift into that land of make believe, where the kiss of one man had slowly become the kiss of another.

Her guilt increased ten-fold as she swore at herself in silence, vowing it would never happen again, fearing that her vow would only last as long as Kazuhiko did not kiss her again. Her steps slowed as the whirlwind of thoughts increased their spinning in her head, finally her footsteps halted altogether, her head hanging in an effort to hide the tears forming in her eyes as the one truth that would never leave her stopped the cyclone swirling in her head. She would always wish it were Aoshi kissing her, holding her, loving her as she did him, no matter how much it hurt.

"Misao, dooshite?" He asked what was wrong in his gentle voice and when she failed to answer he placed his fingers under her chin and lifted her face to see the tears that she tried so desperately to contain, spilling over.

He gasped quietly in surprise; his eyes immediately filled with concern. He pulled her gently into his arms and held her. She did not know how long they stood there in the dark; the only sound was that of his hand against her kimono as he stroked her comfortingly between her shoulder blades.

"Why does love always make us cry Misao?" Kazuhiko whispered quietly, she could feel his warm breath against her hair; she lifted her face to look at him.

She had no answer for him and so remained silent while he held her, staring into the gaze of his gentle brown eyes, waiting for him to continue, knowing he had more to say, after several moments he gently cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing small circles against her skin. She wanted him to kiss her, to prove her wrong, to erase Aoshi's kisses, to erase Aoshi. Then she would not have to be frightened of love; she would no longer feel that hopeless, agonizing, yearning every time she looked at him, every time she could hear his voice or merely the mention of his name. She watched, she waited, and she willed, then, as if in answer to her silent pleading, he lowered his lips to hers. She watched as his eyes fluttered closed, felt his fingers drift lightly over her cheek and into her hair while his other hand on her shoulder gently pulled her closer. She did not deserve this gentleness from him, she was using him terribly, had done so from the very beginning. He lifted his lips from hers and both his hands rest on each side of her face. His eyes stared deeply into hers for several moments, searching… for what she did not know; after a time a small smile touched his lips and seemed to indicate he'd found what he was looking for.

"I will see you later then?" He asked, his voice a light whisper in the nearly silent evening.

He bent his head slightly and brushed his lips against her cheek, then loosened his arms from around her and stepped away. She made no effort to stop him when he turned to go, she merely stood where she was, wishing he had not just kissed her, unknowingly condemning her to a life of deceit.

I will continue with my charade. She promised herself silently. I will continue until I no longer have to pretend that one is the other.

She watched him step through the gate. He turned back to look at her and smiled before the gate closed and he was gone.

----

Aoshi had received his reassurance that Ishida and his wife would be quietly arrested, a carriage was to be sent for them tomorrow morning, allowing them time to put things in order before the life they had known for many years was taken away from them. Kazuhiko Ishida would not suffer any repercussions for his parent's actions and in turn, neither would Misao.

He went in search of her immediately when he reached the Aoiya; when he failed to find her inside he went to the garden and slid back the shoji. He saw her immediately, her and Kazuhiko Ishida who had her wrapped in his embrace, her face against his chest as he stroked her back. One of Misao's arms snaked around the other man's waist, her hand resting on his back. They were silent, speaking not a word, completely still, holding each other in the dark and then… like a knife slicing through his heart, they were kissing. He stepped through the doorway, watching the two lovers from the shadows, the icy darkness enveloped him, filled the painful void that she had torn and left gaping in his chest. His emotions swirled inside him like a cyclone, thick, turbulent and full of debris. He made no attempt to interrupt, merely watched and waited. When the gate closed behind Kazuhiko Ishida and Misao turned to head back into the Aoiya he stepped from the shadows and smiled at the startled look in her eyes, he could see the quickening pulse at her neck.

She is frightened. He thought as he took a step toward her. As well she should be.

"Aoshi-sama!" She gasped and took a step back as he continued to advance toward her.

"We are back to that are we?" He asked her derisively, making reference to the honorific she had always addressed him with.

Except for last night. He thought, feeling the knife twist in his chest, pushing it away and silently vowing he would never allow himself to feel it again. She took another step back and he quickly followed, his hand clamping onto her shoulder preventing her from moving further outside his reach. He tightened his fingers, digging painfully into her skin, watching her try to hide the slight wince from the pain.

"Come Misao." He coaxed, his voice filled with ice cold sarcasm as leaned toward her. "Surely you won't refuse me a kiss."

Her eyes widened in trepidation as his face neared her own, she twisted in his grasp and tried to turn away but he encircled her wrist with his hand and pulled her toward him. She was off balance and fell against him, before she could recover his hand on her shoulder moved to the back of her neck and held her still while his mouth descended on hers.

The same as always, soft and sweet and intoxicating; her kiss would always be like this and he would always lose himself in its intensity. Then, as if he'd been asleep and dreaming, he awoke to realize that something was missing; there were no trembling fingers reaching up to tease his hair, no slight arms wrapped around him and no delicate, feminine body pressing urgently against him. She was rigid, her body straight and stiff in his arms, her hands fisted at her sides and perfectly still, waiting for the most unpleasant of all ordeals to be over. He lifted his lips from hers and released her from his grasp; she did not move away, merely stood and stared back at him, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I still hoped…" She mumbled in what sounded to him like disbelief and then was silent for several moments before she gave a small self-deprecating laugh. "I didn't realize it until now, but… I still hoped."

He felt ashamed, and rightly so, he had no claims on her, if Kazuhiko was who she wanted he had no one to blame but himself for continually pushing her away. Certainly, he had ceased doing so but how could a few days of attention from him make up for all the months he had treated her so poorly, had made every effort to prove he did not feel as he undeniably did.

"After New Year… that kimono…" She seemed to be rambling to herself now as she had dropped her gaze to the ground. "Last night…"

She raised her eyes to his again and he could see the beginnings of tears resting in their corners; she could not have chosen a better punishment for him. He would rather she slapped him, cursed at him, anything other than let him see her tears. She was silent again for several seconds and then, like before, she laughed.

"It was silly of me really… I should have realized…" She was once again berating herself. "You never said…

"Misao." He extended his hand to her and she abruptly knocked it away.

"No!" She snapped at him before stepping away and escaping through the gate. He stood motionless for only a moment before he made to follow her.

"Okashira!" Hanya's forceful voice stopped him before he could step through the gate. Their gazes locked and held and Aoshi was surprised to see anger in his friend's eyes, anger directed at him. "Let her go."

Aoshi could not recall many times that Hanya had allowed such strong emotions to be seen by others. Contempt he often showed to those with no honor and sometimes compassion for those less fortunate but anger… Aoshi lowered his gaze, he knew his own unsteady heart was the cause of Hanya's anger and hoped that his friend would forgive him.

"I cannot." He whispered to Hanya and made to step past, the weight of Hanya's hand against his chest stopping him once more.

"Then tell her." Hanya demanded and Aoshi looked sharply at his old friend. "Your silence is hurting her."

They stared at each other in silence for several moments, Aoshi lifted his hand to cover Hanya's, nodding his head as he whispered, 'wakatta.' Then pulled his friend's hand away that prevented him from leaving, pushed the gate open and followed her disappearing form in the dark.

He caught her easily as he knew he would, she attempted to run when she spotted him but he was far too quick for her to outrun him. He trapped her against the fence surrounding a small building, his hands pinning her shoulders against the wooden enclosure.

"I want you to listen to me Misao." Aoshi squeezed her shoulders lightly then brought his hands up and placed them lightly on either side of her face. "I want to tell you what I could not say, could not admit before… because I was afraid."

"Aoshi-sa…" She began to interrupt only to be silenced by Aoshi's fingers placed lightly over her mouth.

"Please Misao, let me finish." He pleaded. "If Ishida is the one you have chosen, one word from you will silence me on this matter forever after you have heard me out."

He could not help the small smile as she nodded her agreement to remain silent, just as he could not help lightly kissing her forehead and whispering 'arigato', then dropped his hands away and took a small step back.

Words do not come to him quickly but slowly he begins to tell her everything he has felt, struggled and fought against and finally learned to accept. He watched in rapt fascination at how Misao's eyes seemed to grow wider with every word he uttered and when he was certain they could not get any larger they would widen further at his continued confession.

When at last he finished speaking the air hung silent and heavy around them, neither knowing how to proceed from here. He watched her fidget with the end of her braid, wipe at the imaginary wrinkles in her kimono and bite her lip as if to prevent nervous chatter.

"Aoshi-sama…" Her hesitant voice and the way in which she addressed him made his heart sink, he knew that, despite all his preparations for it, he couldn't bear to hear a rejection.

"Please Misao." He whispered to her, lifting a hand up to brush a lock of hair from her eyes. "Don't say anything yet, just let me have tonight and don't say anything."

"Aoshi." She whispered as her hand closed over his that rest on her cheek.

What she'd been about to say he would never know as at that moment a giant explosion rang out and a fiery ball filled the sky of Kyoto. He quickly shielded her from any falling debris, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her into his chest, bent slightly at the waist as he stood over her. When it became apparent they were in no danger he slowly straightened, Misao following suit.

The fire wasn't far away and the sounds of a city jolted awake by the explosion followed by the emergency bell clanging, filled the once silent streets.

Misao's loud gasp made him turn back and look at her; she held her hand over her mouth and her eyes were wide as she turned from the blazing sky to look at him.

"Kazuhiko." She whispered once she lowered her hand.

Aoshi turned back to where the fire still blazed, suddenly realizing that she was probably correct in thinking it was him, not merely because of where the fire was in relation to where he knew their house and shop to be but the parent's current situation. He hesitated, Saitoh's words from a few nights ago coming back to him, 'it would certainly remove an obstacle that is currently in your path'. He turned back to look at Misao, at the fear in her eyes as she watched the fire burning in the distance and recalled other words that Saitoh had spoken; 'you would stop at nothing to secure her happiness…'

That damned Saitoh! He thought and with a near growl Aoshi turned on his heel. He commanded Misao to return to the Aoiya when she asked him where he was going then raced to Ishida's with blinding speed.

----

"Aoshi-sama!" Misao shouted as he quickly disappeared down the street, ignoring his command she raced after him. When she arrived she could not believe her eyes, nearly the entire house and store were engulfed in flames; she searched the gathering crowd for Kazuhiko and his parents and could find no sign of them amongst the onlookers.

She shook her head, silently telling herself that, no, this cannot be happening. They could not possibly be inside. She turned and started to speed toward the burning structure only to be stopped by a police officer.

"It's too dangerous to get any closer miss." He told her holding up his hand to wave her away.

She looked at him and then back to the burning structure. Kazuhiko was in there; he would die if someone wouldn't help him. Making up her mind she attempted to push past the police officer. He quickly wrapped his arms around her waist and held her back.

"I don't need another idiot rushing in there!" He shouted at her as she struggled to get free of his hold. "That building is about to collapse! If you go in there you'll only get killed!"

"Another?" She gasped her eyes growing wide as she stared at the police officer, realization dawning she turned back to the fire. Aoshi-sama? Had he… She turned back to the crowd, her eyes desperately searching. He was no where in the crowd or the shadows beyond them and her eyes snapped back to the police officer again.

She whispered another plea to the man, begging him to let her go. With quiet sympathy he refused her request, keeping his hold on her, as he didn't trust her not to make another dash for the burning building the moment he released her.

Shouts from the crowed of people standing nearby drew her attention, as well as the police officer's. Misao noticed many of them pointing back toward the fire, with a look of obvious disbelief and she turned to look back at the fire as well, gasping in surprise as Aoshi came out with a barely conscious, choking, Kazuhiko on his back and a violin case under his arm.

The shocked police officer released his hold on her and she rushed over to Aoshi, who was carefully lowering Kazuhiko to the ground. A doctor rushed out of the crowd and started to inspect his injuries. She stood before Aoshi; the rest of the world momentarily forgotten as her eyes glanced over him. He didn't appear to be hurt in any way; she looked up and their gazes locked. She could not, for the life of her, figure out why he would run into that blazing death trap and save Kazuhiko. He would have never survived that fire if Aoshi had not gone in and rescued him; after his confession tonight, after telling her how he felt about her, why would Aoshi risk losing her by saving the one whom she might very well choose over himself?

"Aoshi-sama… naze?" She asked him quietly, all the while wanting to scream. "Naze?"

He reached for her then, his arms going about her and pulling her close. They stood silent for several moments, the crowd, the fire, everything disappeared around them. She could smell the smoke in his clothes where her cheek pressed into his chest, the warmth from the fire still lingered and it was then she realized, he could have been lost to that awful fire as well. She could be standing with the police officer holding her back as she watched the Ishida house burn to the ground with Aoshi trapped inside. She lifted her arms from her side, now trembling after considering what 'might have been'.

"I have told you why." He whispered and before she could wrap her arms around him, he was gone, having moved away, so quickly that she wasn't entirely convinced that she hadn't just imagined the whole thing. She caught a glimpse of him near the crowd, he was walking and suddenly stopped as he was met by Okina, Shiro and Okon, she could sense Hanya nearby as well; they exchanged words for several moments. The three Oniwabanshu looked across at her as Aoshi spoke, no doubt explaining what had happened, downplaying his heroics no doubt. She was about to walk over and join them when a tap on her shoulder made her turn around; she was face to face with the gentleman who had rushed over claiming to be a doctor.

"It seems he's going to be just fine, miss." The doctor gave his diagnosis. "Other than a bad case of smoke inhalation there's nothing wrong. Not so much as a blister on him."

"Yokatta." She sighed with relief looking down at Kazuhiko, still lying on the ground. His eyes were closed and she could hear his ragged breathing, no doubt caused by inhaling so much of the smoke. She felt so badly for him, he had nothing left; his parents, his home, everything gone in a moment. Still, he was alive and that was by far the most important thing.

"My parents…" He rasped out, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Don't try to talk Kazuhiko." Misao knelt down beside him and brushed his hair back from his forehead. "Rest now, you can talk later."

His eyes fluttered open to small slits and she could only wonder at how painfully they must sting from all the smoke. She offered him a small smile as she continued to stroke his hair back, she was rewarded with a slight curving at the corners of his mouth and the light touch of his hand covering hers.

"Young man, you'll be staying with us at the Aoiya." Okina's voice commanded from behind her and after several moments she saw a grateful nod from Kazuhiko to the old man, who then turned and barked more orders. "Shiro, arrange for Ishida-san to be brought back with us."

Misao climbed to her feet and picked up the violin case that lay on the ground nearby, all the while her eyes scanning the vicinity for Aoshi, she thought he must have returned home already as she could not find him. She was headed back herself when she realized that he had not gone home; she and the other Oniwabanshu, followed by Kazuhiko, on a stretcher being carried by two police officers, when she spotted him. Just beyond the crowd of people, on the edge of the shadows, Aoshi stood, with his back to her, talking to Saitoh; she hated that demented cop who always seemed to be puffing on those foul sticks of his.

Aoshi did not turn to look at her, although he knew she and the others were there. She continued to stare at him, until movement from that creepy cop caught her attention and her eyes shifted to him. He inclined his head and smiled at her, if you could call it that even. Her eyes narrowed as she reciprocated the unexpected greeting by nodding back, he then made a short sound that Misao thought could have been a laugh, if it hadn't sounded so… sinister. She finally turned away without so much as a glance from Aoshi; she had wanted him to look at her, she had wanted to hear him say that he would be home soon and she wanted to tell him that she… What? What did she want to tell him? What could she tell him? She glanced at Kazuhiko, who had lost so much tonight; she could not bear to have him hurt anymore than he already was, but Aoshi...

----

It's been a week, closer to two. Misao silently mused, lifting her cup to her lips and taking a sip of the warm tea she had just brewed as she gazed about the sparsely lit restaurant. The last customer had left hours ago, everything was clean, quiet and empty. She had not been alone like this for days, yet she had felt just as lonely as she did now. Aoshi's absence since the night of the fire weighed heavily on her, compounded further by the absence of Hanya and the others; Okina was the only male member of the Oniwabanshu who had remained at the Aoiya since the others had gone on this mission she knew nothing about. Even Kazuhiko was absent this evening, having gone out to call on a friend.

For the first time in days she had nothing to occupy her time, nothing to make her too busy to think about… Aoshi. The night of the fire she had waited up the entire night for him to return, he never did and then, as she waited half of the next, doubt began to seep in. Doubt about all that had happened, all that he had told her, doubt about everything. The lack of sleep those first two days he was gone, helped in the days that followed. She would busy herself the entire day, leaving no time in between helping in restaurant, taking care of Kazuhiko and training; when she went to her room for the night she could do little more than make it to her futon before passing out from exhaustion.

Today was different, after the Aoiya closed it's doors for the evening she had tried to occupy herself with training, but after an hour or so of continuing to fail even the simplest moves because of her lack of concentration, she had given up. Everyone had gone to bed, Kazuhiko had not yet returned and so she had made her way here and here she remained, alone, with her doubts churning to life inside her head. She wished Aoshi would come home but then wished, almost just as much that he wouldn't because this would mean her decision would have to be made. Never had she felt such anticipation and dread over anything, and she wished Hanya was home to talk to.

The sound of light footsteps alerted her to someone approaching the kitchen; she knew who it was, no one else made any noise when they walked through the Aoiya. His smile, when his eyes met hers across the darkened restaurant was infectious and she could not help but smile back.

"How did you know I was in here?" She asked rising from her seat.

"There's just enough light that I could see you through the window." Kazuhiko explained after a quick bow in greeting.

"Well, you must be tired and cold." She walked toward him; they turned together and headed back through the door to the kitchen. "I'll make you some tea."

They were silent while she went through the routine of making tea, he watched her from where he leaned against the counter. It was funny how she never got nervous when he watched her; she would never be able to make tea when Aoshi watched her, her heart would race and her hands would tremble as she blushed profusely. She shook thoughts of Aoshi away as she handed Kazuhiko his tea; he thanked her and immediately took a sip, the kitchen growing silent for several moments as she did likewise.

"I'm leaving Misao." She looked at him sharply, surprised at his sudden outburst. He gave a short, humorless, laugh at the uncomfortable situation he created with his announcement. "Tomorrow morning."

"Why?" She blurted out. "You can stay here as long as you like, there is no need for you to rush off!"

He was quiet and she waited, in silence as well, for him to answer her; after several moments he moved to set his tea cup upon the counter then turned back to answer her.

"I could stay here, with you, forever Misao..." He began softly and stepped closer to her, placing a hand on either side of her face before he continued. "Shikashi… I am not the one you want with you forever."

Misao gasped; her eyes wide with surprise as she stared up at him. He knows. She shook her head in confusion and he merely smiled his same gentle smile he always bestowed on her, although she could not miss the touch of sadness in his eyes that had not been present before. Sadness that she caused because he knew, as well as she that he could not replace Aoshi, no one could, her heart had decided on the only one it would ever love. She lifted one of her hands to cover one of his that rest against her cheek, every intention of whispering how very sorry she was when the sound of the kitchen door opening made them both turn.

The Okashira's gaze remained unaffected as he stood in the doorway; after being away from her for over a week, he showed no emotion upon seeing her, happy or otherwise; his eyes merely bore into hers, briefly drifting over to Kazuhiko before returning to hers once again. He mumbled a quick apology before turning away, the door closing noiselessly behind him.

"Aoshi-sama?" She called after him quietly still staring at the door, willing him to come back, wanting him to lay these doubts in her to rest. Wanting him to tell her again that he loved her, that he hadn't merely spoken those words on a whim and realized later that he'd made a mistake.

"Misao." She turned back to Kazuhiko at the sound of her name, almost forgetting he was there. He sighed heavily as he leaned forward, dropping his hands to her shoulders; he pressed his lips to her forehead and after several moments of silence he whispered. "Things are less complicated than they seam"

"Kazuhiko…" She whispered, wanting to at least put forth an effort at an explanation; he placed a finger gently over her lips, silencing her before she could begin.

"Hush." He shook his head slightly his finger lifting from her lips to brush at an errant lock of hair that fell across her forehead then stepped forward to embrace her once more. "It was enough that, even for a moment, you thought you could love me."

"Where will you go?" She asked him after a few moments, her voice remaining quiet as he continued to hold her. "What will you do?"

"I am leaving for Osaka in the morning and on to Europe from there." He answered her. "My parents are gone, the future my father gave me is gone with him. The violin is all I have left."

"No Kazuhiko." She disagreed. "You have more than that. You will always have more than that."

His arms tightened around her and they stood in silence, holding each other for what would surely be the last time. She felt his lips against her hair as he kissed her then heard him whisper, 'do not see me off tomorrow Misao.' She began to protest but he merely tightened his embrace and stilled her. 'Let this be our farewell.'

"Kazuhiko." She could do no more than whisper his name and nod her head in agreement to his request.

"I do hope Shinomori-san realizes how fortunate he is." He placed his hands on her shoulders and stepped back, his hands falling down to capture hers, he squeezed them gently then let go completely, turned and left the room.

---

Aoshi's attention was pulled away from the book of poetry as her silhouette appeared against the shoji that closed him off from the rest of the world. He knew that she would come; he'd not seen her for days, the work of the Oniwabanshu had taken longer than he thought and what he'd wished for the entire time he was away from her, he was now no longer certain he wanted. Did he really want to see her, be with her, only to have her tell him what he did not want to hear? Better to look upon Misao's silhouette than Misao; her shadow could not speak, could not tell him of her life she planned with Kazuhiko Ishida, of her life she planned… without him. He could stand here, in his darkened room and read sonnets to her shadow, she would not leave; she would remain forever outlined through the paper in perfect clarity, and he would never hear her shadow say, 'I love him'. Him.

But that's not true. A voice inside his head whispered. When Misao leaves she will take her shadow with her, when Misao tells you she loves him, her shadow's lips will silently speak the same words.

No. She would not even leave him that much, when she left she would take everything with her and he would be alone, empty, with nothing, but the bittersweet knowledge that, he could have been her everything.

He watched her silhouette grow restless behind the shoji and he thought she might leave at first, then she lifted her right hand and he physically winced in anticipation of hearing her painful knock upon his door. His eyes grew wide however, when rather than hearing a knock the sound of his door being pushed open caught his ears. As the doors slid apart her silhouette disappeared, leaving Misao standing just beyond the threshold.

"You will have to forgive my interruption." She stated boldly from the doorway and without waiting for a response she entered.

I would forgive you anything. Aoshi whispered the words in silence, then closed his book and moved to the opposite side of his room, putting distance between them, for his own sake. Her behavior surprised him; she had never been timid, often displaying a boldness that bordered on carelessness, however, she'd never done so with him. His thoughts already a jumble of chaos, her odd behavior only adding to it, he could form no reply and merely stood watching her as she walked to the table where the book, he'd only moments ago been reading, lay.

"You were reading this when I came in?" She questioned in her normal gentle voice as her fingers traced the edges of the book of sonnets she'd given him at New Year. She glanced over her shoulder at him, her blue eyes piercing his heart. "Weren't you?"

"Aah." He agreed quietly from where he stood, safe from her nearness.

She smiled and turned away from him; her attention, once again on the book that lay on the table, he watched her open it to a random page and was silent for several moments before asking, 'do you like it… ' She paused, 'the book, I mean?'

"Aah." He affirmed, watching as she continued to turn the pages. "The words, in many ways, reflect my own thoughts and feelings."

The room grew silent again and he felt a momentary flash of anger at himself for voluntarily offering her that information; she always managed to make a mockery out of his self-control.

"For shame deny that thou bearest love to any…" Her quiet voice read the first line of one of the sonnets as if she had produced those words herself, in answer to someone like him, or who he had pretended to be. He could see the slight turn of her head as she continued reading in silence, the shift of her arm, her fingers drawing softly over the page. How he wished that the page were his skin. She grew still and then turned around to look over her shoulder at him again. "Are those words a reflection of your thoughts and feelings?"

What was she doing? Aoshi wondered as he stared curiously at her. First, her brash entrance into his room and now this behavior, she was being playful but not childlike, that look in her eyes as she watched him coyly from over her shoulder; she was being… deliberately provocative. Like a woman toying with her lover. He had to be mistaken; this was Misao and she never acted that way, but still… he could not help but be intrigued.

"Iie, not those words." He finally answered her question and she smiled before turning her attention back to the book. "But…"

What a pathetic warrior. He thought. To be so easily caught and reeled in.

He crossed the room and stood behind her, the smell of her hair and skin filling him. He reached around her with one hand and opened the book to a particular page, she turned her head to look at him and he met her eyes briefly before looking back at the book.

"Being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desire?" He paused and raised his eyes to hers once more before he continued, having read it so many times he could recite it from memory. " I have no precious time at all to spend, nor services to do, till you require…"

His voice trailed off under the penetrating gaze of her blue eyes and he knew not how to disguise the imploring look she must be witnessing within his. He no longer had any will where she was concerned; this was the sum of all that he would ever become, the man who loved her, and he knew that it was enough, he did not have to be or know anything more than that.

"Misao…" Aoshi began.

"I love you." Misao interrupted him, her words rushing out like water from behind a dam.

He felt as if he'd been standing on the beach and Tsunami had just crashed over him. He could not breathe, nor tell which end was up for several moments at hearing her utter those three simple words. Had she actually said them? Or was it his own wishful thinking that had created that sound? He had to be certain; he lifted his hand to brush his fingers over one smooth pale cheek, brushing a few errant locks of hair back, he leaned forward and brushed his lips across her temple.

"Say it again." He whispered his command in her ear. He could feel her smile as her arms wound around his waist and she raised up onto her toes, her lips close to his ear.

"I love you." She whispered, slowly this time, each word filling him before the next was spoken.

His arms closed around her in a desperate embrace, he buried his face in the softness of her neck, holding her tightly, afraid to let go. He could not say how long they held each other, it seemed like hours when he suddenly became conscious of the soft, hypnotic stroke of her hand in his hair, the tickling of her long braid over his forearm and the soft press of her body against his. He lifted his head slightly and pressed his lips into her neck, feeling her hand still in his hair, a small shiver and he kissed her neck again and again, working his way up to her lips where she met his eagerly.

He moaned into her mouth, acquiescent with her urgency, his hands raced over her back, holding her tighter against him. He could sense in her the same hunger and need that he himself felt. He broke of their kiss, pulling back to stare into her questioning eyes, both of them breathing heavily, their chests heaving. Aoshi knew that if they went much further there would be no turning back; it had only been a kiss but what lay beyond it, he was not so certain Misao was ready for.

"Misao." He swallowed hard exerting what remained of his self-control. "Maybe you should…"

"Aoshi, please don't send me away." She interrupted him. "I'm not a child who doesn't know what she wants."

He was lost in her blue eyes once more, he stared silently for several moments before bending to kiss her, whispering against her mouth, 'indeed, you are no child.' His self-control was completely gone, as his mouth joined hers; his hands went immediately to her obi, loosening it enough to let it fall at her feet. He pushed her kimono off her shoulders, letting slide down the length of her body to join the obi in a pile at her feet. He ended their kiss and stepped back to look at her, she looked beautiful.

And frightened. He thought as she raised her arms and crossed them in an attempt to cover herself. He stepped closer, although he was tempted to pull her arms down to her sides he let her have her small bit of privacy that her slight arms gave her, he kissed her on the mouth and then stepped behind her. His hands shook as he lifted her braid, removing the clasp and slowly, deliberately un-weaving her long hair, the ebony locks spilling down her back. He lifted the dark curtain of her hair and brushed it over her shoulder, the satin skin of her back luminous in the dark. He leaned forward and placed a kiss between her shoulder blades and asked her one more time, 'Misao, are you certain? I doubt I will ever be able to let you go after...'

"You'd better never let me go." She whispered into the quiet stillness and he needed no further affirmation.

----

Misao reveled at tender state of her body, her limbs languid and heavy, from the worshipping of her body by another. By him. Her eyes drifted around the room, dark but for the small lantern that cast its yellow glow in a small circle from where it sat behind her. She wanted to remember every detail of how this room looked on this night, the small scroll on the wall, the table with papers, strewn in orderly chaos, on the top of it. In the corner, leaning upright against the wall, a sheath that held two kodachi, gleamed in the darkness. In the middle of the room… their hastily discarded clothing lay, symbolic of the life they had left behind tonight and the new one that lay ahead of them from this day forward. Her mouth curved upward at the corners as she remembered earlier, Aoshi's warms skin and soft hands, she barely kept from sighing allowed. Shifting her gaze to look at Aoshi, she studied every detail. He lay next to her, on his stomach, resting on his forearms, touching her, but not touching her as the blanket that covered her and his carelessly donned yukata separated them. In one hand he held the book of sonnets; it would forever be her favorite literary work. In his other hand, he held a dark lock of her hair that he wound around and around his finger in endless absentmindedness. His lips moved, his soft voice spoke ordinary words, arranged in such a way upon the page as to transform them into magic. She looked at his eyes, their beautiful, piercing lucidity partially hidden, as always, by the curtain of his hair. She raised her hand to brush those wisps of hair aside and he caught her hand, pulling it to his lips and placing a kiss on her palm.

"Aoshi." She whispered and then smiled at the lascivious twinkle in his eyes as they met hers.

Owari.

Okay, so pretty much everyone knows how much I hated writing this fic, so what do I do… I add more to it. Actually, this is like my retribution against the fic for having to put up with it all these months. This was a special piece that I posted on the AMML and includes the shameless self-insertion of myself and many of the AMML members, it is a total piece of zany scribbling that I thoroughly enjoyed writing, more so than the actual fic.

Disclaimer: Even Watsuki will disclaim RK after reading this.

Warnings: Plenty of them!

============================================================================

Misao reveled at tender state of her body, her limbs languid and heavy, from the worshipping of her body by another. Her eyes drifted around the room, dark but for the small lantern that cast its yellow glow in a small circle from where it sat behind her. She wanted to remember every detail of how this room looked on this night, the small scroll on the wall, the table with papers, in chaotic order, strewn on the top of it. In the corner, leaning upright against the wall, a sheath that held two kodachi, gleamed in the darkness. In the middle of the room… their hastily discarded clothing lay, symbolic of the life they had left behind for the new one that lay ahead of them after tonight. Her mouth curved upward at the corners as she remembered earlier, Aoshi's warms skin and soft hands, she nearly sighed allowed. Shifting her gaze to look at Aoshi, she studied every detail. He lay next to her, on his stomach, resting on his forearms.

Movement over his left shoulder made her shift her gaze to the shoji door, the harrowing dread that filled her at what she saw there that night, would be remembered for the rest of her life. Misao's eyes widened in shocked surprise, her shrill scream filled the air.

"Misao!" Aoshi sat up, grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a slight shake to snap her out of it. "What's wrong? Is there a snake in the bed? A giant, deadly, poisonous spider? What?"

"Ko ko ko ko ko." She stuttered in terror and lifted her hand to point at the door. "Kowaiiiii!"

Aoshi followed the path of her horror filled gaze and looked behind him at the shoji.

"Kyaaaaahhhh!" He screamed jumping to his feet, standing protectively in front of Misao.

"O-hai!" Khursten waves hello from the doorway wearing a genki smile even Misao can't match.

"Put that poetry away Aoshi-sama!" She commands cheerfully while miraculously producing, handcuffs, thong and candles from behind her back and steps into the room. "I've got everything you need right here!"

"What is she talking about Aoshi-sama?" Misao cries from behind him.

"Gulp." Aoshi looks nervously from Khursten to Misao and back. "You know how she is."

"I want to get some pictures!" Desi appears behind Khursten, the bright flash of her camera momentarily blinds the two half-naked perverts on the futon.

"Another AMML'er!" Misao sits bolt upright in bed as she shouts, the blanket covering her slips to her waist.

Desi snaps another photo thinking she might be able to sell them then takes another look at Misao's flat chest and decides maybe not.

"Hey!" Misao's eyebrows furrow together as she recognizes Desi. "She interrupted us last time Aoshi-sama!"

"I can see why Misao's ninja uniform was tight across your chest Desi." Dyosa chimes in as she joins the other two AMML'ers in Aoshi's room.

All three dodge the flying kunai aimed right at their heads.

"She's sensitive about being flat chested." Khursten concluded once they were safe from the flying kunai. The other two AMML'ers nod in agreement.

"I believe that one was there as well Misao." Aoshi's shura eyes appeared as he also recognized Dyosa.

//for those of you who are old enough, see the shameless self-insertion into the round robin on the Aoshimisaoseijin List regarding the ninja uniform//

SSSSSSSHHHHHHHINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!

The three AMML'ers cower in fear at the sound of kodachi being unsheathed.

"AMML ga kirai desu!" Aoshi growls ferociously.

"What does he mean he hates us?" Desi pipes up offended. "If it wasn't for us Misao would never be in his bed naked!"

"Maybe that's why he hates us." Dyosa suggests and the other two nod at the possibility.

A loud whip crack startles them all and they turn to the door, in walks Nina-chan, her beloved whip trailing behind her.

"Hey! That's my leather outfit from Saitoh's Angels she's wearing!" Misao complains.

"Yeah and it's too tight in the chest for her as well." Desi mumbles snickering along with Khursten and Dyosa.

"Hello little Love Doggie." Nina-chan cracks her whip and smiles wickedly at Aoshi whose mouth is now hanging open. "Ready for your whipping of love?"

Aoshi drops his kodachi, clasps his hands in prayer before Nina-chan //praying she doesn't hit him I think// and blinks his big bijou eyes at her.

"She sure can handle him well." Dyosa speaks of Nina-chan in admiration.

"Nina-chan Kakkoi!" Desi cheers while snapping another photo then mumbles. "But that Love Dog line is mine."

"Wow, all this time I could have just showed him my whip." Khursten shakes her head in disgust and tosses her handcuffs, thong and candles over her shoulder. "If only I'd known."

"Ne ne Dyosa-san." Dyosa leans in close to hear Desi's whisper. "I knew Khursten-san would have a whip."

"Was there ever any doubt?" Dyosa whispers back.

"Ano…" P. Rico appears in the doorway and points toward the futon. "What is Misao doing?"

They all look at the futon to find Misao shaking, drooling uncontrollably and growing fangs.

"I've never seen Misao like this before." Desi observes, another flash from her camera.

"AMML-GUMI!!!!!! " Misao stands up while shouting, multiple kunai appearing between her fingers. "KONSATSU TOBI KUNAIIIIII!!!!!"

"IIIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" They all scream in unison and scatter, returning to the safety of their own homes.

Misao turns on Aoshi.

"You're not afraid of Saitoh or any other crazy swordsman out there!" Misao Keccho Kicks him in the head. "But all you can do when those girls show up is drop your kodachi, whimper and show them your puppy dog eyes!"

"But… but Misao…" He whines. "They are so scary."

"Shut up and get out of my room!" She screams.

"Ano… Demo… eeto." Aoshi stutters. "This is my room."

Well, that was fun… Owari.