Chapter Two:
A Bobbit Party
All of the Bobbits in the Mire were anxiously awaiting the arrival of Randalf the wizard. They always anticipated his fireworks and magical tricks. One Bobbit inparticular was very ready to see his old friend Randalf again. The Bobbit's name was Mofo Gaggins and he was the nephew of the great dragonfly killer named Gilbo Gaggins. Mofo had been living at Sag End and the Mire with uncle Gilbo for a long time and loved to hear tell of his adventures, as did Mofo's best friend Spamwise Grungee.
All of the little Bobbits were very excited about the party tonight. It was Gilbo's 111th birthday. (We would say one hundred-eleventh but Bobbits say Onetity One Oneth) Gilbo had gone all out and had prepared enough food to feed an army and it would have to. When Bobbits had birthday parties everybody attended and everybody brought presents. So in short there was lots of food and plenty of gifts for everyone. Then after Gilbo cut the cake Randalf would create a firework spectacular.
At about noon Gilbo heard a knock upon his door. It was Randalf, the wizard. He was welcomed in by a very happy Gilbo, "'Allo Randalf! How are you?"
"Very good, Gilbo, Very Good", Randalf replied.
"Would you like some tea or coffee...or perhaps some eggs and bacon? It wouldn't be any trouble, Randalf. I can have some up in a Jif."
"No thank you Gilbo, tea will be fine.", Randalf watched as the little Bobbit walked into the other room and the wizard began to walk around the Bobbit Hole. He saw the place on the mantle where the ring usually stayed but found it empty. Gilbo was falling through their plan. Randalf could not let Gilbo take that ring. As Gilbo entered with a tea tray Randalf asked, "So, are you still following your plan?"
Gilbo sat the tea down and replied, "Yes, of course Randalf. I hate to say goodbye to Mofo, though. Are you sure he'll be alright? I worry about him. He'd go with me if I'd ask him, but to hell with him I'm taking my ass to Cuba!"
Gilbo and Randalf exchanged High Fives. Randalf looked around and lowered his voice saying, "You wont forget to send me a ...souvenir, will you?"
Gilbo nodded and motioned to his pipes and said, "Not much good if there's nothing to smoke in 'em. The two burst into laughter and then Randalf grew solemn. He looked at Gilbo and asked, "You are going to leave the ring...aren't you. Remember what we talked about."
"But it's my ring Randalf. I found it. I don't want to give it away...It's my precious." As soon as the words came from Gilbo's mouth Randalf slapped him so hard the ring fell onto the floor and he bellowed, "DROP THE RING BITCH!"
Gilbo was too stunned to do anything and Randalf placed the ring in an envelope and sealed it. "Somebody else once used that phrase on this ring and do you know who that was? It was Slalom...that dirty, disgusting piece of snot that you met some 60-odd years ago. This ring has corrupted you. It isn't a normal ring Gilbo! You have to leave it with Mofo or Everything's gonna go to crap!"
"Alright, Randalf. I'll leave it for him." Then Gilbo and Randalf left Gilbo's hole and set off to the party.
At the party everybody had a wonderful time and there was much rejoicing and dancing. Mofo sat at a table with his best friend Spamwise and his cousins Mary and Poppins. They were a band of happy chaps having a grand time. Then Gilbo stood upon a tree stump and addressed the audience.
"Now listen up peeps. I'm an old fart and you all know it so I'm going away. I ain't tellin y'all where I'm going cause I don't ever wanna see any of ya'lls ugly freeloadin faces again. Goodbye!"
Then Gilbo disappeared and went off to his home. The entire party was startled and as Randalf started the fireworks he ran off to see Gilbo. He had a bag and Randalf stopped him. "That was quite a clever trick...those Black Acting lessons paid off"
"Thank you...now I must be off"
"Give me the ring."
"But I left it!"
"Must I slap you again my dear Gilbo?"
"Oh alright take it! Now I'm rid of it and I will be free! Be sure that goes to Mofo."
"I will."
Gilbo exited the hole and went down his path and through his garden and into the great beyond, until he could find a taxi to take him to the airport.
Randalf sat in the chair with the ring and placed it back into the envelope and thought, "I have a lot of explaining to do."
Mofo stood in the doorway and asked, "Randalf, is Gilbo gone?"
Randalf nodded and looked at Mofo and said, "Sit down...I have something to tell you."
A Bobbit Party
All of the Bobbits in the Mire were anxiously awaiting the arrival of Randalf the wizard. They always anticipated his fireworks and magical tricks. One Bobbit inparticular was very ready to see his old friend Randalf again. The Bobbit's name was Mofo Gaggins and he was the nephew of the great dragonfly killer named Gilbo Gaggins. Mofo had been living at Sag End and the Mire with uncle Gilbo for a long time and loved to hear tell of his adventures, as did Mofo's best friend Spamwise Grungee.
All of the little Bobbits were very excited about the party tonight. It was Gilbo's 111th birthday. (We would say one hundred-eleventh but Bobbits say Onetity One Oneth) Gilbo had gone all out and had prepared enough food to feed an army and it would have to. When Bobbits had birthday parties everybody attended and everybody brought presents. So in short there was lots of food and plenty of gifts for everyone. Then after Gilbo cut the cake Randalf would create a firework spectacular.
At about noon Gilbo heard a knock upon his door. It was Randalf, the wizard. He was welcomed in by a very happy Gilbo, "'Allo Randalf! How are you?"
"Very good, Gilbo, Very Good", Randalf replied.
"Would you like some tea or coffee...or perhaps some eggs and bacon? It wouldn't be any trouble, Randalf. I can have some up in a Jif."
"No thank you Gilbo, tea will be fine.", Randalf watched as the little Bobbit walked into the other room and the wizard began to walk around the Bobbit Hole. He saw the place on the mantle where the ring usually stayed but found it empty. Gilbo was falling through their plan. Randalf could not let Gilbo take that ring. As Gilbo entered with a tea tray Randalf asked, "So, are you still following your plan?"
Gilbo sat the tea down and replied, "Yes, of course Randalf. I hate to say goodbye to Mofo, though. Are you sure he'll be alright? I worry about him. He'd go with me if I'd ask him, but to hell with him I'm taking my ass to Cuba!"
Gilbo and Randalf exchanged High Fives. Randalf looked around and lowered his voice saying, "You wont forget to send me a ...souvenir, will you?"
Gilbo nodded and motioned to his pipes and said, "Not much good if there's nothing to smoke in 'em. The two burst into laughter and then Randalf grew solemn. He looked at Gilbo and asked, "You are going to leave the ring...aren't you. Remember what we talked about."
"But it's my ring Randalf. I found it. I don't want to give it away...It's my precious." As soon as the words came from Gilbo's mouth Randalf slapped him so hard the ring fell onto the floor and he bellowed, "DROP THE RING BITCH!"
Gilbo was too stunned to do anything and Randalf placed the ring in an envelope and sealed it. "Somebody else once used that phrase on this ring and do you know who that was? It was Slalom...that dirty, disgusting piece of snot that you met some 60-odd years ago. This ring has corrupted you. It isn't a normal ring Gilbo! You have to leave it with Mofo or Everything's gonna go to crap!"
"Alright, Randalf. I'll leave it for him." Then Gilbo and Randalf left Gilbo's hole and set off to the party.
At the party everybody had a wonderful time and there was much rejoicing and dancing. Mofo sat at a table with his best friend Spamwise and his cousins Mary and Poppins. They were a band of happy chaps having a grand time. Then Gilbo stood upon a tree stump and addressed the audience.
"Now listen up peeps. I'm an old fart and you all know it so I'm going away. I ain't tellin y'all where I'm going cause I don't ever wanna see any of ya'lls ugly freeloadin faces again. Goodbye!"
Then Gilbo disappeared and went off to his home. The entire party was startled and as Randalf started the fireworks he ran off to see Gilbo. He had a bag and Randalf stopped him. "That was quite a clever trick...those Black Acting lessons paid off"
"Thank you...now I must be off"
"Give me the ring."
"But I left it!"
"Must I slap you again my dear Gilbo?"
"Oh alright take it! Now I'm rid of it and I will be free! Be sure that goes to Mofo."
"I will."
Gilbo exited the hole and went down his path and through his garden and into the great beyond, until he could find a taxi to take him to the airport.
Randalf sat in the chair with the ring and placed it back into the envelope and thought, "I have a lot of explaining to do."
Mofo stood in the doorway and asked, "Randalf, is Gilbo gone?"
Randalf nodded and looked at Mofo and said, "Sit down...I have something to tell you."
