4 Out of Every 5.
Spoilers: Season 1. Season 2, up to and including "Presenting Lorelai Gilmore"
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and unfortunately I can't even claim the story. Answer to a challenge by Jennifer.
Author's Note: For my purposes, Season 1 ended the same, minus Dean showing up at Chilton. I think it'll be pretty clear after you read it. Sorry the first two chapters are so long and boring. I'm trying to set the stage for the rest of the fic. It'll get more interesting, I promise. My first attempt at writing a fan fiction, so I hope you like it.
1 Chapter 3
Lorelai smiled when she rounded the corner to see Tristin's familiar SUV sitting in the driveway. She had been surprised when he hadn't shown up to pick Rory up for school this morning, so had been confident enough in his presence tonight to tell Sookie to plan for one more for the "Welcome Back to School" dinner she insisted on having for Rory and Lane. Not that Sookie needed to be told. Lorelai was sure there would have been enough food even if Tristin had decided to bring the entire Chilton football team, unannounced.
"Honies, I'm home," she called cheerfully as she swung open the door and stepped into the hallway. Silence. She was about to call out again when Tristin stuck his head around the corner.
"Hey Lorelai. Rory's sleeping," he whispered before disappearing back into the living room.
Lorelai kicked off her shoes and walked over to where he was standing behind the couch, looking down at her daughter's still figure. Adoration was written plainly in his eyes, and Lorelai found herself once again thanking whatever force had brought him into their lives. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her daughter, would do anything for her, and Rory deserved that. "Tough day at school?"
Tristin shrugged. "Could've been worse. Besides, she's already got one more friend and one less enemy than she had when she started Chilton last year."
He was trying for lighthearted, but Lorelai could feel the seriousness underlying his comment. "Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie," she said, pulling him into a hug. "You got here, didn't you?"
The first time Lorelai had hugged him, Tristin had been shocked. It had been the night of his third date with Rory, and Lorelai had given him a surprisingly intimidating speech about how he should treat Rory before they had left. He'd gotten halfway to his car to leave after seeing Rory safely inside hours later, and had been surprised to hear the door open. Turning, he watched Lorelai jog down the walk towards him. She'd pulled him into a quick hug, whispering softly in his ear before turning and running back into the house. "Thank you, for making my daughter so happy."
Now, he wrapped his arms around the older woman gratefully. He didn't have any family to speak of, and knew how lucky he was to be embraced by this one. As unconventional as they might be, the Gilmores - and Stars Hollow by extension - had given him a place in their lives. "Thanks Lorelai."
"You better wake up Sleeping Beauty. Sookie decided we needed to have a dinner party to celebrate your return to Hell. She'll be here any minute, guests arrive at 6:30." Lorelai disappeared up the stairs, leaving Tristin to wake Rory.
He walked around the couch and crouched down near her head. He just watched her for a moment, caught up in her beauty. The lines of tension the day had created seemed to have fallen away during her nap, and she looked younger and more innocent, if that was possible. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her forehead, smiling when she released a slight groan and turned away. He kissed her again, touching his lips to hers. This time she turned towards him, deepening the kiss, and he chuckled to himself, pulling away. "I hope you don't go around kissing every guy who tries to wake you up."
"If I had known you were trying to wake me up, I would never have kissed you," she shot back, half-smiling. "When you and Mum go to Luke's, bring me back something." With that, she turned her back on him, nestling back into the pillows,
"Sorry love. You have to get up. Your mom and Sookie have cooked up some dinner party scheme to celebrate our return to school."
Rory's eyes widened at the endearment, but Tristin never noticed, the word having slipped out unconsciously. Deciding she would analyze it later, Rory let him pull her up off the couch, and glared at him as he made fun of her disheveled appearance. Disappearing into her bedroom, she couldn't help but smile. All things considered, life had been good to Rory Gilmore today.
2 Chapter 4
Tristin sat on the bus stop bench, waiting rather impatiently for Rory's bus from Stars Hollow to arrive. He wished she would just let him pick her up. It would cut a half hour off her trip, but she wouldn't hear of it. He grinned, hearing her list all the reasons why she would continue taking the bus in his head. It was cheaper for her to take the bus than for him to buy gas. It would add an hour on to his day - a half hour to pick her up, and a half hour back to Chilton. She took the bus every day last year. And she didn't want to be one of those girls who relied on their boyfriends for everything. That last one had made him laugh, assuring her that she would never be one of those girls. And she wouldn't. She was too independent. Which both infuriated him and made him love her all the more.
Rory smiled when she saw Tristin sitting on the bench at the Chilton bus stop, a Starbucks travel mug in hand. She knew he was mad that she wouldn't let him pick her up, but she wasn't giving in this time. She felt herself becoming one of those clingy, needy girlfriends, and she had the sinking feeling that letting him pick her up every morning would seal her fate. Besides, he'd driven her home 3 days this week, and that was plenty.
"Morning Tris. Thanks for the coffee," she greeted, absently dropping a kiss on his cheek and reaching for the mug.
"Uh uh uh, Miss Gilmore, I don't think so," he said, holding the mug out of her reach, mischief dancing in his eyes. "What makes you so sure that this is for you? Or even that it's coffee for that matter? Maybe it's my coffee. Or your herbal tea."
"Tristin! That's not even a little bit funny. The day you bring me herbal tea instead of coffee is the day I quit speaking to you. And you don't like coffee. It's 'unhealthy'," she made a face; mimicking his expression when he'd told her that.
"OK, so you're right. It is coffee, and it is for you. What are you willing to do for it?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards the building.
Rory stopped abruptly, jerking Tristin to a halt beside her. She turned to face him and laid a hand on his cheek, reaching up to kiss him. The coffee was forgotten by both teenagers almost immediately. Tristin wrapped a hand in her hair, holding her to him as he teased her lips with his tongue. She moaned so softly he would have thought he imagined it, if not for the slight parting of her lips which allowed him access to his mouth. Forcing himself to stop before they made a spectacle of themselves in the Chilton courtyard, he pulled away and dropped a kiss on her forehead. They stood like that a long moment, collecting their breath and their thoughts.
"Huh," Tristin grinned.
"What?" Rory looked up at him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes sparkling.
"Well, if I'd known that a single cup of coffee would get me a kiss like that, I'd have bought you the damn Starbucks."
Rory grabbed the coffee from him, her cheeks going even redder at the innuendo, and when she finally dared to meet his eyes, what she saw took her breath away. He was gazing at her intently, a combination of love and desire radiating out of them. She looked away quickly, turning and continuing in the direction of Chilton's imposing front doors.
Damn it. Too much too fast. Tristin chided himself for pushing her, and jogged the few steps it took to reach her. "Rory, stop." She did, but she still wouldn't meet his gaze. He tipped her chin up until the eyes locked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
She interrupted him before he could finish. "It's OK Tristin. Really. Don't apologize. Let's not get into this now. Are you coming for dinner tonight?" He had taken to joining them at their weekly dinners with her grandparents. His presence seemed to help diffuse the tension between her mom and her grandmother, something for which both Lorelais were very grateful. He nodded. "Good. Can we go to your place after school, talk about this then?" When he nodded again, she smiled and grabbed his hand. "Come on, the doors of Hell await."
3 Chapter 5
Rory flopped down unceremoniously on Tristin's bed and closed her eyes, enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. The first week back to school was always the hardest for her. It took the whole 5 days to settle into any sort of routine. Add to that the fact that she had fielded questions about her relationship with Tristin all week and she was exhausted.
Tristin. She owed him an explanation for the kiss this morning. She knew he felt guilty, which was ridiculous. He shouldn't have to feel guilty for kissing his girlfriend. It was her problem really. Because lately, when he kissed her, she wanted more. Which terrified her. Consequently, she'd thrown herself at him, and then backed off when he'd joked about it. Send mixed messages much? She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she knew she had to say something. She sighed and rolled over onto her stomach, burying her head in his pillows and waiting for him to join her.
Tristin watched Rory as she lay there. It was a sight he never thought he'd see, Rory Gilmore in his bedroom, on his bed, and he allowed himself to just enjoy watching her. It seemed a bit weird, having her in his house. He felt totally comfortable at her place, but they hadn't spent much time at his. Other than a quick introduction to his parents, who, he was sure, wouldn't even remember her name, and a compulsory tour of the "Dugrey Estate", he'd avoided brining her here. She didn't fit in in his world. But, he had to admit, he liked walking into his room to find her in.on his bed. He knew she was tired, but he also knew they needed to talk, and he didn't want to leave it unfinished to go for dinner. He walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Rory could feel his eyes on her. She could tell when he was looking at her, had always been able to tell. At first it had annoyed her, then embarrassed her. Now it left her with a warm, tingly sensation. The bed dipped when he sat down, and she rolled over to face him. "I owe you an explanation."
Tristin just watched her, not saying anything. They had had enough of these sorts of talks in the past three months to know that she would say what she wanted to say in her own time.
"Unfortunately," she said after a lengthy pause, "I don't have one."
Tristin laughed at the frustrated look on her face. "OK. Tell me what you think you need to explain to me. Maybe I can help you figure out what you want to say."
"This morning. In the courtyard." She forced herself to meet his eyes, despite the familiar blush tingeing her cheeks.
"What about it?"
"You know, you aren't a very good helper."
Tristin laughed again. "I don't think you owe me an explanation for that," he replied, finally giving in and leading the conversation in the direction Rory was trying to head it. "If anything, I owe you an apology. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and you obviously felt that way after the Starbucks comment."
"That's the thing, I didn't. I should have. I wanted to. But I didn't."
"OK, now I'm confused."
Rory sighed. "Me too." She sat up and ran her hands through her hair, only to flop back down on the bed.
Tristin was slowly putting the pieces of their convoluted conversation together. And the farther he got, the more he understood what was bothering Rory. "Ror, there's no rules here. You're not supposed to feel certain things at certain moments. You're just supposed to feel. And whatever you're feeling, that's right."
Rory was amazed at how perceptive he was, at how well he knew her. Up until a few seconds ago, this conversation had been about the fact that she hadn't wanted to stop kissing him this morning, the fact that she didn't think she could have pulled away if he hadn't. Now it was about the achy feeling in her gut. The tingling sensation she felt when he looked at her. The way she constantly thought about him. And the fact that she wasn't scared that she was falling in love with him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I thought that's what we were doing."
"Nope. We were dancing around the issue. It was very effective though. Among the less intelligent it would pass for talking about it." That earned him a small smile. "So, I know how you didn't feel. How did you feel?"
"Honestly?"
"Always," he replied taking both of her hands and giving them a squeeze.
Rory knew she had to say the words, but she couldn't meet his eyes when she did. "Like I would have really, really liked to pay you back for the entire Starbucks." The words were said so quietly he almost missed them. She stared at their joined hands, twisting the silver ring on his finger nervously.
Tristin had been pretty sure this was coming, but he still found himself at a loss for words. He didn't know how to reassure her, and his heart was breaking at the fact that she couldn't meet his eyes. "Rory."
"Hmmm?"
"Look at me." She lifted her gaze to meet his, blue staring into blue. "I'm not sure what to say here Rory."
"You don't have to say anything. You asked me how I felt, and I told you." Rory was wishing she had never brought it up. This was without a doubt the most awkward conversation they had ever had, and she didn't know what to say to fix it.
"Well then, I guess turnabout is fair play. You should know how I feel."
Rory wasn't expecting the offer, but somehow it made her feel better. She didn't want to be the only one struggling with these emotions. "How?"
He wasn't sure what to say. The offer to share his feelings had been automatic, and he knew he couldn't take it back now. He also knew that he'd be risking everything if he told the truth, told her that he loved her. But he couldn't lie to her. He had never been more terrified in his life.
Chapter 6
"I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about stuff like this. I want you to be able to tell me what you're thinking, how you're feeling. Because there's nothing that I wouldn't tell you." He trailed off, and took a deep breath, looking into her eyes. "I'm in love with you Rory." He just blurted it out, amazed at how good it felt, at how good he felt. But this wasn't about him; it was about Rory, and what she would be feeling. "But I don't want you to say anything. I really have no idea if what you feel for me comes remotely close to love, and I don't want you to create some feelings you don't have because you think it will make you happy, or worse, think that I'm going to stop loving you because you aren't sure how you feel. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just really, really felt like you needed to know." He quit talking when he realized that she hadn't been listening, and just looked at her.
Rory wasn't sure she had heard him right. Because there was no way that Tristin would have said he loved her. Not after what had happened with Dean. She was dimly aware that he was still talking, but the words weren't registering. Instead, as clearly as when he'd said it, she heard his confession over and over in her head. I'm in love with you Rory. I'm in love with you Rory. I'm in love with you Rory. Her first instinct was to run. She waited for the panic to hit her, to feel claustrophobic, suffocated. But there was no panic. The walls weren't closing in on her, and she could still breathe. Relief washed through her, and she laughed.
Tristin watched the emotions play across her face. Shock, confusion, fear. All held reign over her features for several seconds before giving away to the next. He had expected this. But. she was laughing? He wasn't expecting laughter. How could she be laughing? This wasn't a joke. Tristin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. When he opened his eyes again, they met hers, and the laughter died. His heart skipped a beat. He recognized the look in her eyes, had seen it reflected back at him every time he looked in the mirror. It was part awe, part utter joy, and part love. He blinked, sure he had imagined it. This time when he opened his eyes, tears were streaming down her cheeks. He reached up and stopped one as it traveled down her face.
"Sorry I laughed. I didn't mean to," Rory whispered, the seriousness of the moment somehow requiring hushed voices.
Tristin just looked at her, and she knew he was trying to figure out what had happened.
"I just, I didn't expect you to say that.to say you loved me. And then when I heard the words, I expected to panic. I waited for the walls to close in on me, for the oxygen to be sucked out of the room."
"You like me that much, huh?" The words were timid, searching. She realized she still hadn't given him any indication as to how she felt, and lay her hand on top of his where it had come to rest on her cheek.
"No, I love you so much so that it didn't happen." She watched as the words sunk in, as his mind registered their meaning. His emotions played out on his face and she smiled, wondering if that was how she had looked.
That was about the last thing he was expecting her to say. "Rory, you don't have to say that. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just wanted you to know how I felt. So maybe you wouldn't be so scared."
His words caused another onslaught of tears. He was, without a doubt, the most amazing person she had ever met. "I didn't say them for you Tris. Well, I did, but not because I thought I had to. Because I wanted to. So maybe you wouldn't be so scared."
He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Here was this girl. this woman, sitting in front of him with tears streaming down her face, looking at him like he hung the stars. How on earth did he ever get so lucky?
He leaned into her, kissing her. Rory poured everything she had into the kiss, all the raw emotion she felt. It was without a doubt the most erotic thing he had ever experienced. If she hadn't just said the words, he would've known she loved him simply from that kiss.
When he pulled away moments later, she was no longer crying, and she offered him a watery smile. "We OK?" he whispered, not wanting to break the magic of the moment with his voice.
"More than OK.," she replied, pulling him down with her and laying back against him. Moments later she drifted off to sleep, thinking that she had never felt more comfortable, more comfortable, in her entire life.
Spoilers: Season 1. Season 2, up to and including "Presenting Lorelai Gilmore"
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and unfortunately I can't even claim the story. Answer to a challenge by Jennifer.
Author's Note: For my purposes, Season 1 ended the same, minus Dean showing up at Chilton. I think it'll be pretty clear after you read it. Sorry the first two chapters are so long and boring. I'm trying to set the stage for the rest of the fic. It'll get more interesting, I promise. My first attempt at writing a fan fiction, so I hope you like it.
1 Chapter 3
Lorelai smiled when she rounded the corner to see Tristin's familiar SUV sitting in the driveway. She had been surprised when he hadn't shown up to pick Rory up for school this morning, so had been confident enough in his presence tonight to tell Sookie to plan for one more for the "Welcome Back to School" dinner she insisted on having for Rory and Lane. Not that Sookie needed to be told. Lorelai was sure there would have been enough food even if Tristin had decided to bring the entire Chilton football team, unannounced.
"Honies, I'm home," she called cheerfully as she swung open the door and stepped into the hallway. Silence. She was about to call out again when Tristin stuck his head around the corner.
"Hey Lorelai. Rory's sleeping," he whispered before disappearing back into the living room.
Lorelai kicked off her shoes and walked over to where he was standing behind the couch, looking down at her daughter's still figure. Adoration was written plainly in his eyes, and Lorelai found herself once again thanking whatever force had brought him into their lives. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he loved her daughter, would do anything for her, and Rory deserved that. "Tough day at school?"
Tristin shrugged. "Could've been worse. Besides, she's already got one more friend and one less enemy than she had when she started Chilton last year."
He was trying for lighthearted, but Lorelai could feel the seriousness underlying his comment. "Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie," she said, pulling him into a hug. "You got here, didn't you?"
The first time Lorelai had hugged him, Tristin had been shocked. It had been the night of his third date with Rory, and Lorelai had given him a surprisingly intimidating speech about how he should treat Rory before they had left. He'd gotten halfway to his car to leave after seeing Rory safely inside hours later, and had been surprised to hear the door open. Turning, he watched Lorelai jog down the walk towards him. She'd pulled him into a quick hug, whispering softly in his ear before turning and running back into the house. "Thank you, for making my daughter so happy."
Now, he wrapped his arms around the older woman gratefully. He didn't have any family to speak of, and knew how lucky he was to be embraced by this one. As unconventional as they might be, the Gilmores - and Stars Hollow by extension - had given him a place in their lives. "Thanks Lorelai."
"You better wake up Sleeping Beauty. Sookie decided we needed to have a dinner party to celebrate your return to Hell. She'll be here any minute, guests arrive at 6:30." Lorelai disappeared up the stairs, leaving Tristin to wake Rory.
He walked around the couch and crouched down near her head. He just watched her for a moment, caught up in her beauty. The lines of tension the day had created seemed to have fallen away during her nap, and she looked younger and more innocent, if that was possible. He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her forehead, smiling when she released a slight groan and turned away. He kissed her again, touching his lips to hers. This time she turned towards him, deepening the kiss, and he chuckled to himself, pulling away. "I hope you don't go around kissing every guy who tries to wake you up."
"If I had known you were trying to wake me up, I would never have kissed you," she shot back, half-smiling. "When you and Mum go to Luke's, bring me back something." With that, she turned her back on him, nestling back into the pillows,
"Sorry love. You have to get up. Your mom and Sookie have cooked up some dinner party scheme to celebrate our return to school."
Rory's eyes widened at the endearment, but Tristin never noticed, the word having slipped out unconsciously. Deciding she would analyze it later, Rory let him pull her up off the couch, and glared at him as he made fun of her disheveled appearance. Disappearing into her bedroom, she couldn't help but smile. All things considered, life had been good to Rory Gilmore today.
2 Chapter 4
Tristin sat on the bus stop bench, waiting rather impatiently for Rory's bus from Stars Hollow to arrive. He wished she would just let him pick her up. It would cut a half hour off her trip, but she wouldn't hear of it. He grinned, hearing her list all the reasons why she would continue taking the bus in his head. It was cheaper for her to take the bus than for him to buy gas. It would add an hour on to his day - a half hour to pick her up, and a half hour back to Chilton. She took the bus every day last year. And she didn't want to be one of those girls who relied on their boyfriends for everything. That last one had made him laugh, assuring her that she would never be one of those girls. And she wouldn't. She was too independent. Which both infuriated him and made him love her all the more.
Rory smiled when she saw Tristin sitting on the bench at the Chilton bus stop, a Starbucks travel mug in hand. She knew he was mad that she wouldn't let him pick her up, but she wasn't giving in this time. She felt herself becoming one of those clingy, needy girlfriends, and she had the sinking feeling that letting him pick her up every morning would seal her fate. Besides, he'd driven her home 3 days this week, and that was plenty.
"Morning Tris. Thanks for the coffee," she greeted, absently dropping a kiss on his cheek and reaching for the mug.
"Uh uh uh, Miss Gilmore, I don't think so," he said, holding the mug out of her reach, mischief dancing in his eyes. "What makes you so sure that this is for you? Or even that it's coffee for that matter? Maybe it's my coffee. Or your herbal tea."
"Tristin! That's not even a little bit funny. The day you bring me herbal tea instead of coffee is the day I quit speaking to you. And you don't like coffee. It's 'unhealthy'," she made a face; mimicking his expression when he'd told her that.
"OK, so you're right. It is coffee, and it is for you. What are you willing to do for it?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards the building.
Rory stopped abruptly, jerking Tristin to a halt beside her. She turned to face him and laid a hand on his cheek, reaching up to kiss him. The coffee was forgotten by both teenagers almost immediately. Tristin wrapped a hand in her hair, holding her to him as he teased her lips with his tongue. She moaned so softly he would have thought he imagined it, if not for the slight parting of her lips which allowed him access to his mouth. Forcing himself to stop before they made a spectacle of themselves in the Chilton courtyard, he pulled away and dropped a kiss on her forehead. They stood like that a long moment, collecting their breath and their thoughts.
"Huh," Tristin grinned.
"What?" Rory looked up at him, her cheeks flushed, her eyes sparkling.
"Well, if I'd known that a single cup of coffee would get me a kiss like that, I'd have bought you the damn Starbucks."
Rory grabbed the coffee from him, her cheeks going even redder at the innuendo, and when she finally dared to meet his eyes, what she saw took her breath away. He was gazing at her intently, a combination of love and desire radiating out of them. She looked away quickly, turning and continuing in the direction of Chilton's imposing front doors.
Damn it. Too much too fast. Tristin chided himself for pushing her, and jogged the few steps it took to reach her. "Rory, stop." She did, but she still wouldn't meet his gaze. He tipped her chin up until the eyes locked. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."
She interrupted him before he could finish. "It's OK Tristin. Really. Don't apologize. Let's not get into this now. Are you coming for dinner tonight?" He had taken to joining them at their weekly dinners with her grandparents. His presence seemed to help diffuse the tension between her mom and her grandmother, something for which both Lorelais were very grateful. He nodded. "Good. Can we go to your place after school, talk about this then?" When he nodded again, she smiled and grabbed his hand. "Come on, the doors of Hell await."
3 Chapter 5
Rory flopped down unceremoniously on Tristin's bed and closed her eyes, enjoying a few moments of peace and quiet. The first week back to school was always the hardest for her. It took the whole 5 days to settle into any sort of routine. Add to that the fact that she had fielded questions about her relationship with Tristin all week and she was exhausted.
Tristin. She owed him an explanation for the kiss this morning. She knew he felt guilty, which was ridiculous. He shouldn't have to feel guilty for kissing his girlfriend. It was her problem really. Because lately, when he kissed her, she wanted more. Which terrified her. Consequently, she'd thrown herself at him, and then backed off when he'd joked about it. Send mixed messages much? She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she knew she had to say something. She sighed and rolled over onto her stomach, burying her head in his pillows and waiting for him to join her.
Tristin watched Rory as she lay there. It was a sight he never thought he'd see, Rory Gilmore in his bedroom, on his bed, and he allowed himself to just enjoy watching her. It seemed a bit weird, having her in his house. He felt totally comfortable at her place, but they hadn't spent much time at his. Other than a quick introduction to his parents, who, he was sure, wouldn't even remember her name, and a compulsory tour of the "Dugrey Estate", he'd avoided brining her here. She didn't fit in in his world. But, he had to admit, he liked walking into his room to find her in.on his bed. He knew she was tired, but he also knew they needed to talk, and he didn't want to leave it unfinished to go for dinner. He walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Rory could feel his eyes on her. She could tell when he was looking at her, had always been able to tell. At first it had annoyed her, then embarrassed her. Now it left her with a warm, tingly sensation. The bed dipped when he sat down, and she rolled over to face him. "I owe you an explanation."
Tristin just watched her, not saying anything. They had had enough of these sorts of talks in the past three months to know that she would say what she wanted to say in her own time.
"Unfortunately," she said after a lengthy pause, "I don't have one."
Tristin laughed at the frustrated look on her face. "OK. Tell me what you think you need to explain to me. Maybe I can help you figure out what you want to say."
"This morning. In the courtyard." She forced herself to meet his eyes, despite the familiar blush tingeing her cheeks.
"What about it?"
"You know, you aren't a very good helper."
Tristin laughed again. "I don't think you owe me an explanation for that," he replied, finally giving in and leading the conversation in the direction Rory was trying to head it. "If anything, I owe you an apology. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and you obviously felt that way after the Starbucks comment."
"That's the thing, I didn't. I should have. I wanted to. But I didn't."
"OK, now I'm confused."
Rory sighed. "Me too." She sat up and ran her hands through her hair, only to flop back down on the bed.
Tristin was slowly putting the pieces of their convoluted conversation together. And the farther he got, the more he understood what was bothering Rory. "Ror, there's no rules here. You're not supposed to feel certain things at certain moments. You're just supposed to feel. And whatever you're feeling, that's right."
Rory was amazed at how perceptive he was, at how well he knew her. Up until a few seconds ago, this conversation had been about the fact that she hadn't wanted to stop kissing him this morning, the fact that she didn't think she could have pulled away if he hadn't. Now it was about the achy feeling in her gut. The tingling sensation she felt when he looked at her. The way she constantly thought about him. And the fact that she wasn't scared that she was falling in love with him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"I thought that's what we were doing."
"Nope. We were dancing around the issue. It was very effective though. Among the less intelligent it would pass for talking about it." That earned him a small smile. "So, I know how you didn't feel. How did you feel?"
"Honestly?"
"Always," he replied taking both of her hands and giving them a squeeze.
Rory knew she had to say the words, but she couldn't meet his eyes when she did. "Like I would have really, really liked to pay you back for the entire Starbucks." The words were said so quietly he almost missed them. She stared at their joined hands, twisting the silver ring on his finger nervously.
Tristin had been pretty sure this was coming, but he still found himself at a loss for words. He didn't know how to reassure her, and his heart was breaking at the fact that she couldn't meet his eyes. "Rory."
"Hmmm?"
"Look at me." She lifted her gaze to meet his, blue staring into blue. "I'm not sure what to say here Rory."
"You don't have to say anything. You asked me how I felt, and I told you." Rory was wishing she had never brought it up. This was without a doubt the most awkward conversation they had ever had, and she didn't know what to say to fix it.
"Well then, I guess turnabout is fair play. You should know how I feel."
Rory wasn't expecting the offer, but somehow it made her feel better. She didn't want to be the only one struggling with these emotions. "How?"
He wasn't sure what to say. The offer to share his feelings had been automatic, and he knew he couldn't take it back now. He also knew that he'd be risking everything if he told the truth, told her that he loved her. But he couldn't lie to her. He had never been more terrified in his life.
Chapter 6
"I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about stuff like this. I want you to be able to tell me what you're thinking, how you're feeling. Because there's nothing that I wouldn't tell you." He trailed off, and took a deep breath, looking into her eyes. "I'm in love with you Rory." He just blurted it out, amazed at how good it felt, at how good he felt. But this wasn't about him; it was about Rory, and what she would be feeling. "But I don't want you to say anything. I really have no idea if what you feel for me comes remotely close to love, and I don't want you to create some feelings you don't have because you think it will make you happy, or worse, think that I'm going to stop loving you because you aren't sure how you feel. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just really, really felt like you needed to know." He quit talking when he realized that she hadn't been listening, and just looked at her.
Rory wasn't sure she had heard him right. Because there was no way that Tristin would have said he loved her. Not after what had happened with Dean. She was dimly aware that he was still talking, but the words weren't registering. Instead, as clearly as when he'd said it, she heard his confession over and over in her head. I'm in love with you Rory. I'm in love with you Rory. I'm in love with you Rory. Her first instinct was to run. She waited for the panic to hit her, to feel claustrophobic, suffocated. But there was no panic. The walls weren't closing in on her, and she could still breathe. Relief washed through her, and she laughed.
Tristin watched the emotions play across her face. Shock, confusion, fear. All held reign over her features for several seconds before giving away to the next. He had expected this. But. she was laughing? He wasn't expecting laughter. How could she be laughing? This wasn't a joke. Tristin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. When he opened his eyes again, they met hers, and the laughter died. His heart skipped a beat. He recognized the look in her eyes, had seen it reflected back at him every time he looked in the mirror. It was part awe, part utter joy, and part love. He blinked, sure he had imagined it. This time when he opened his eyes, tears were streaming down her cheeks. He reached up and stopped one as it traveled down her face.
"Sorry I laughed. I didn't mean to," Rory whispered, the seriousness of the moment somehow requiring hushed voices.
Tristin just looked at her, and she knew he was trying to figure out what had happened.
"I just, I didn't expect you to say that.to say you loved me. And then when I heard the words, I expected to panic. I waited for the walls to close in on me, for the oxygen to be sucked out of the room."
"You like me that much, huh?" The words were timid, searching. She realized she still hadn't given him any indication as to how she felt, and lay her hand on top of his where it had come to rest on her cheek.
"No, I love you so much so that it didn't happen." She watched as the words sunk in, as his mind registered their meaning. His emotions played out on his face and she smiled, wondering if that was how she had looked.
That was about the last thing he was expecting her to say. "Rory, you don't have to say that. I'm not expecting anything from you. I just wanted you to know how I felt. So maybe you wouldn't be so scared."
His words caused another onslaught of tears. He was, without a doubt, the most amazing person she had ever met. "I didn't say them for you Tris. Well, I did, but not because I thought I had to. Because I wanted to. So maybe you wouldn't be so scared."
He couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Here was this girl. this woman, sitting in front of him with tears streaming down her face, looking at him like he hung the stars. How on earth did he ever get so lucky?
He leaned into her, kissing her. Rory poured everything she had into the kiss, all the raw emotion she felt. It was without a doubt the most erotic thing he had ever experienced. If she hadn't just said the words, he would've known she loved him simply from that kiss.
When he pulled away moments later, she was no longer crying, and she offered him a watery smile. "We OK?" he whispered, not wanting to break the magic of the moment with his voice.
"More than OK.," she replied, pulling him down with her and laying back against him. Moments later she drifted off to sleep, thinking that she had never felt more comfortable, more comfortable, in her entire life.
