a/n: Here it is! What you've all been waiting for, the second part! ^.^;; Anyway...by popular demand, this is the next installment in the cross-over. (I'll finish it, I promise. I won't make you wait as long either!) So...enjoy!

Disclaimer: Must I do another one of these? I don't own Harry Potter...or Star Wars...or the tribbles or anything else I reference...I'm just a geek with too much time on her hands...

(Next shot is of the Millennium Anglia taking off and its crew and passengers inside the cockpit.)

Ron: We should be in Alderan in a couple of hours, once we outrun these Empire gits. Not hard really, but hold on.

Harry: Can I fly?
Ron: This isn't a landspeeder, kid! Besides, you might wreck my dad's car!

Harry: First of all, stop calling me kid. Second, you run a business out of your dad's car?

Ron: Until I can save up for my own. Dad doesn't mind so much, Fred and George are just jealous because I got it instead of them.

Harry: Fred and George?

Ron: My brothers. You two go and strap in, we're going to make the jump to hyperspace.

(Shot of the hold with Harry and Remus fastening their seat-belts comfortably, Hagrid-macka serves drinks and hot towels.)

Remus: This guy must really be desperate for money.

Hagrid-macka: Ah wanna tip.

Harry: You can talk?

Hagrid-macka: Sure...what di' yeh think Ah was, a wookie?

Harry: Well...yeah.

Hagrid-macka: Ah'm not. It's the suit.

Harry: You learn something new everyday.

Remus: Harry, come here. I want you try something.

(Remus and Harry set up to practice dueling while Hagrid-macka and R-Colin play chess.)

Ginny: No sense whining about it! He made a fair move.

(Ron enters)

Ron: Let him have it. Haggie's a big guy. I wouldn't upset him.

Ginny: But, Sir! No one worries about upsetting a 'droid! (She looks longingly at Harry)

Ron: 'Droids don't pull people's arms off when they lose.

Ginny: R-Colin, I suggest a new strategy. Let Haggie win.

Ron: (Calling out) We're past those Imperial nutters, and we'll be in Alderan in a little while (...) Don't everybody thank me at once. What are you two doing?

Remus: It's Wing-GAR-dium Leviosa. The GAR is nice and long.

Harry: I'll never get this one! It'll end up like the summoning charm!

Ron: Magic?

Remus: Harry is going to be the last Wizard Knight.

Harry: Give away the WHOLE ending why don't you?

Remus: Unlike you, everyone else has read the script.

Harry: Er...

Remus: Let's get to work on a Patronous. Ron, do you have any chocolate?

Ron: Probably not. I had some, but I think Bill and Charlie ate it all.

Remus: Then we're in for a long trip...

(Shot of the Death-Eater Star, the Millennium Anglia is approaching.)

Ron: Look at the size of that thing!

(Seamus Antilles walks on, and smacks Ron upside the head)

Seamus: That was going to be MY line, you prat!

Ron: Um...sorry Seamus.

(Seamus shrugs and walks off)

Ron: In fanfiction...anything can happen. Aw, crap! We're caught in a tractor beam.

(Trekkie appears out of nowhere wearing her Vulcan ears and carrying a toy Phaser.)

Trekkie: Beam 'em up, Scottie!

Ron: Why are YOU here?

Trekkie: I'm Salmakia's friend, and I've brought you a bunch of Tribbles.

(Trekkie dumps a load of chirping fuzz-balls in the cockpit and leaves.)

Ron: I don't like these things at all! They don't have any practical use.

Hagrid: Ah don' know. They'rw sof', sweet and make ah pleasant sound.

Ron: So would an ermine violin, but I don't want one of those!

(a/n: Or something like that. I don't remember the exact wording. Yes...that is the ONLY Star Trek episode I ever watched. Damn Trekkie...No! Don't kill me! It was only one. I wanted to see the Tribbles!)

(Hagrid-macka stuffs his pockets full of Tribbles while Ron tries to fight the tractor beam.)

Ron: No use...I'm going to have to shut down, but we'll fight 'em.

Remus: With what, exactly? There are alternatives to fighting.

Ron: Yeah...well...ok....what are we going to do?

(Shot of Death-Eater Star interior. The Millennium Anglia is docked inside and being inspected by storm troopers. As they exit, our heroes pop up from under loose floor panels.)

Ron: Good thing Dad never got those fixed.
Harry: Nothing exciting about them? Don't you smuggle spice under those or something?

Ron: Smuggling? With my luck, I'd get caught by the Empire before I left the planet. Besides, Mum would kill me.

Harry: I hope you have better luck while we're here.

Ron: Of course we'll have good luck, you're the protagonist! You really ought to read the script.

Harry: What's with you people the scripts?

Remus: Boys, stop fighting. Let's get out of here. We need to steal some storm trooper uniforms, and then we can split up and start the main plot.

(Switch to whole party inside a control room. Harry and Ron are wearing storm trooper uniforms and Remus is getting ready to go.)

Harry: I want to come and help you shut down the tractor beam!

Remus: No, it'll be easier with just me. I'm going to have an epic battle, and you have something else to do.

Harry: Like what?
Remus: You'll find out about three minutes after I leave.

Harry: But...

Remus: The Force will be with you...always.

(Remus exits.)

Harry: I don't want to wait three minutes!

Ron: Just relax. We're going places, kid!

Harry: Stop calling me kid!

(R-Colin, who has been plugged into a computer terminal, beeps like crazy)

Ginny: R-Colin, shush!

Harry: What's he beeping about?

Ginny: I don't know, Sir Harry. He says that he's found her and he keeps repeating "She's here! She's here!"

Harry: Who?

Ginny: Princess Hermione.

Harry: The Princess? All right! Now that's something important to do! We're going to rescue a princess, Ron!

Ron: I'd be excited, but unlike some people, I've read the script.

Harry: I like finding out along the way. It's more exciting.

Ron: Just make sure you know what's going on before you duel in the second one. Let's go rescue this princess. How much do you think she's worth?

Harry: Probably a planet's ransom. Maybe you can get a new car.

Ron: I'm game. We'll just pretend we're taking Haggie up to the detention level.

Harry: Or we could use this. (Pulls an invisibility cloak out of his sleeve.)

Ron: That works.

(Short montage sequence of Harry, Ron and Hagrid-macka sneaking around the Death-Eater Star, narrowly avoiding patrols who all look like Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris. They reach the detention level undetected. There, they shoot the guards.)

Ron: That was easy. We didn't even have to create a diversion or anything.

Harry: Yeah, ok. The Princess is in cell-block 24601. (Salmakia's friends glare at her. Trekkie: You use that number too much! Whole cast of Party Animal Farm: Waaaay too much! Salmakia: Sorry...) I'll go get her. You make sure no one comes up here.

Ron: Ok.

(Shot of Harry opening Princess Hermione's cell.)

Hermione: Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?

Harry: What, oh, the uniform. I'm Harry Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you. I've got your 'droids, and Remus-won Kenobi is here.

Hermione: Ok. Let's go.

(Back at the front, Ron is holding off an influx of storm troopers.)

Harry: What's going on?

Ron: Haggie leaned on the call button. It's not my fault!

Hermione: Into the garbage chute?

Ron: After you, you're highness.

Harry: Are you sure that's the only way?

Hermione: He hasn't read the script?

Ron: Can't make him. Stupid kid.

Harry: I'm not stupid. I'm not a kid, and will you guys lay off the script thing?

Hermione: Just asking. (She grabs Harry's blaster and shoots open the garbage chute.) Into the garbage chute, flyboy. (She jumps in.)

Harry: I'm always up for a plot twist. (He jumps in after her.)

Ron: (to Hagrid-macka) Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell! (He shoves in Hagrid-macka, and then jumps in himself)

(Ron lands in the dimly-lit garbage collection room. The others are standing knee-deep in dirty water and Styrofoam.)

Ron: (sniffs the air) This place is rank.

Harry: Don't know how they did it. Look at this stuff. (picks up a piece of Styrofoam) They're cheap. It's not even real garbage.

Ron: Be glad. You're going to get sucked under that in a minute.

Harry: I am? I don't want...(Harry is pulled under the "garbage" by a tentacle.)

Ron: In 5...4...3...2...1...(Harry pops up again, gasping for breath.) Right on time, kid.
Harry: Shoot this thing! It's got a hold around my neck.

(Ron shoots the monster and Hermione helps Harry up.)

Harry: Thanks. At least it can't get any worse.

Ron: Wait! Don't say that!

Harry: It can't get any worse?

Ron: We're in for it.

(The walls start closing in.)

Ron: I told you so.

Hermione: At this point, you shouldn't care. Let's brace the walls with something.

(Ron, Hermione and Harry use "steel" beams to brace the encroaching walls while Hagrid-macka tries to hold them open with his arms.)

Harry: I know! I've got a com-link! I'll call Ginny-3P0!

Ron: Now he thinks of it...

Harry: Ginny-3P0, Ginny-3P0! Come in Ginny-3P0!

(Shot of com-link sitting on a desk. Ginny-3P0 is in tears)

Ginny: He doesn't like me R-Colin! Not at all! I'm not answering him. I don't care if he's dying!

(Harry's voice comes through the com-link.)

Harry: Ginny-3P0! Ginny-3P0! Come in please, Ginny-3P0! I'm dying!

Ginny: I didn't mean it Sir Harry! (She picks up the com-link.) Sir Harry?

Harry: Ginny-3P0, turn off all garbage smashers on the detention level!

Ginny: Right away, sir! R-Colin?
(R-Colin beeps and shuts off the garbage smasher.)

Harry: You did it! We're alive.

Ginny: I'm so glad!

(Shot of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Hagrid-macka in the narrow garbage room.)

Hermione: That 'droid of yours really came through.

Harry: She's a good 'droid. Let's get out of here.

(They reappear on the other side of the hallway, all dry and clean.)

Ron: The magic of the movies! Let's get back to the ship.

Harry: Wait, what about Remus?

Ron: The old guy? I wouldn't worry about him. C'mon Haggie.

Hermione: Will someone get this big, walking carpet out of my way?

Ron: He's behind you.

Hermione: I know. I just wanted to say it. You guys get say all your good lines. I want mine.

Ron: Fair enough. Let's go.

(Shot of Remus, inching along a beam and turning off the tractor beam. He then walks past the guards.)

Remus: (to the audience) Did you want me to bite them? They're storm troopers!

(The storm troopers look at him and shrug.)

Remus: See?

(Shot of Harry, Ron, Hermione and Hagrid-macka above the Millennium Anglia.)

Hermione: You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.

Ron: You know that's one of the lines in here that can be taken...er...the wrong way.
Hermione: (thinks for a second) You sicko! yuckyuckycuk! ewwww!

Harry: You upset the Princess, Ron!

Ron: She's the one who insists on using all the original lines.

Hermione: I'm just trying to be accurate!

Ron: Girls...Look! Here come a lot of storm troopers. Haggie and I will hold 'em off. Harry, take the Princess to the ship and wait for the old man.
Harry: His name is Remus-won Kenobi!

Ron: Whatever. He's gonna die. Let's go, Haggie.

(Ron and Hagrid-macka run away fro the storm troopers, shouting insults while Harry crumples up on the floor and cries.)

Harry: I said I wanted to know what happens as we go along!

(Hermione tries to comfort him, and Salmakia joins Harry on the floor.)

Salmakia: I forgot how cool Lupin was! How could I put him in such a small role! He's gonna die!

(Harry and Salmakia cry for a several minutes before Hermione gets impatient.)

Hermione: Will it help if I tell you that I kiss you in the next scene.

Salmakia: Ew!

Hermione: Not you...

Harry: (Springing to his feet.) Really? Let's go.

Salmakia: These people have no values...

(Shot of Ron and Hagrid-macka running down a hallway.)

Ron: Is that armor or paper plates?

Hagrid: Yeh all hav' the brains of flobberworms!

(The storm troopers look confused but then open fire.)

Ron: They're not as stupid as they look! They've figured out it's just the two of us!

(Ron turns, fires one shot and runs like hell. Cut to a shot of Harry and Hermione on a bridge.)

Harry: (blasting the door closed) That should hold them.

Hermione: How do we get across? Do you have some rope?Harry: I have a broomstick.

Hermione: That works.

(They mount the broomstick. Hermione kisses Harry.)

Hermione: For luck. Feel better now?

Harry: Yeah..................

(Harry blushes and they fly to the other side.)

Hermione: That was easy. Let's go.

(Shot of Remus walking down a hallway. He is met by Darth Prongs.)

Darth: The fates are reversed. When I left you, I was the learner. I am the master now!

Remus: Only a master of evil, Darth!

(They draw wandsabers. Remus bows. Darth Prongs does not.)

Remus: Expelliarmus!

(Darth Prongs goes flying against the wall as Remus catches his wandsaber.)

Darth: So you win round one...

(Shot of Ron and Hagrid-macka leaning against a wall waiting for Harry and Hermione.)

Ron: What's taking them?

(Harry and Hermione come running to meet them.)

Ron: What took you?

Harry: She...kissed...me...

Ron: I don't want to know. The ships there and it seems ok. I hope the old man got the tractor beam out of commission.

(Harry, Ron, Hermione and Hagrid-macka run to the ship and are joined by Ginny-3P0 and R-Colin. Harry sees Darth Prongs and Remus fighting.)

Harry: Remus-won!

Ron: Come on, kid!

Darth: Avada Kedavdrum! (Is that the spell? Salmakia's memory is almost as bad as Neville's...and she's too lazy to look it up...)

(Remus goes flying against the wall and disappears.)

Harry: Nooooooo! (He starts shooting at storm troopers.)

Ron: Come on, kid! We've got to get out of here! The old man wanted us to.

(Harry runs on the ship and they take off. Shot of the inside of the ship. There are tribbles everywhere.)

Ron: Haggie! I told you to get rid of these things!Hagrid-macka: They're cute...

Ron: I want them all out now! I'm throwing them out the air-lock!

(Insert twenty-minute sequence of Ron finding every last tribble and throwing it out of the ship.)

Ron: Now we can make the jump to hyperspace...

Hermione: Wait! What about the TIE fighters?

Ron: They haven't followed us. The tribbles were enough.

Harry: But I wanted to fire the gun!

Ron: You know...I'm beginning to see why they think you character is whiney...

Salmakia: LUKE SKYWALKER IS NOT WHINEY! HE'S A FREAKING GOD!

Ron: Calm down, Princess Author Lady...um...here! (Ron shoves Neville, who is dressed up as a Gungan at Salmakia.)

Salmakia: Aw! He's so cute!

Neville: I thought I didn't come in until Episode I!

Salmakia: That leaves us plenty of time to...get to know each other...

Harry: Look! TIE fighters!

Ron: I knew we should have made the jump to hyperspace...

Harry: Do I get to fire the gun?

Ron: Yeah, come on...

(Shot of Harry and Ron climbing into the gun-bubble thingies.)

Harry: How do I shoot?

Ron: That's up to the special effects people. Just swivel around and shout things. TIE fighter at twelve o'clock. Get him kid!

Harry: There you go with the kid thing again...Ron: Shoot the damn TIE fighter before you die!

Harry: I thought I just had to swivel around and shout.

Ron: I lied. Shoot!

(Harry presses a button on his controls and the TIE fighter disintegrates. The rest of the fighters go in much the same manner. Shot of the cockpit with Ron, Harry, Hermione, Hagrid-macka, Ginny-3P0 and R-Colin.)

Ron: We did it, kid!
Harry: I'm not a freaking kid!

Ron: You are to me. Not bad, Princess, huh?

Hermione: They're tracking us.

Ron: They can't track us. We're in hyperspace.

Hermione: There's a chain of tribbles that they can follow all the way to the base.

Ron: Sithspit!

(End part I. Review or the tribbles will eat you!)