Warnings: Angst, death
Dedication: to Chris
Pairing: 1x4
Song belongs to "Lifehouse" and GW belong to this really rich guy.
---
"Everything"
Duo slowly entered the waiting room of the hospital. He was forcing himself to be there, two of his friends needed him and he would never disappoint them. He had left the death with the war five years ago, but the hospital reeked of the sick and dying and the smell alone seemed to make his throat close up so he was unable to swallow or breathe. He could almost imagine the plain off white walls and the tiled floors coated with drying blood. He knew that a hospital was a place that helped a lot of sick and injured people, but he didn't feel like looking on the good side of things right now, not with everybody feeling the way they were.
He coughed slightly as he sat down in the middle of the long leather couch, across from his best friend who sat in a matching leather chair. It wasn't real leather, Duo noticed, but he knew he was avoiding the subject by looking for distractions.just like the tiny ant crawling across the worn bluish carpet just under his boot. He sighed and sat up, avoiding crushing the tiny creature on purpose. Then he looked up into storming blue eyes. He had known the boy, now a man since the war, and once said war had ended the once perfect soldier had changed. He hadn't needed to act tough anymore now that there wasn't a reason to, but Duo could see that he was trying to find that perfect mask of a warrior again, a Gundam pilot.
Find me here
Speak to me
"Hey Heero, Sally said you can go in now." Duo finally spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had laced itself around them like an overbearing knot. Clouded eyes turned to him but the voice remained silent as they fell back to the rug, noticing the ant for the first time. Such a small and insignificant life, yet a life just the same. The ant breathed, ate, slept, and lived. And that life could be snuffed out so easily, all it would take was for Duo to lift his foot and bring it down again and that life would be gone, forever.
A hand landed on his shoulder, causing the quiet boy to jump and look up at the person who had woken him from his thoughts. It was Trowa. His best friend, Heero remembered. As cobalt met emerald green Heero could see how worried the taller man was. "Don't make him wait." The request was quiet and Heero could only nod and stand.
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
Wordlessly the three made their way down the hall and to one of the rooms. 401. Heero noted as their footsteps echoed down the long empty corridor. He wondered if the beating of his heart sounded like that, his body felt just as empty as the hallway.
Wufei met them in the doorway. He bowed slightly, out of respect but Heero shook his head. He just wanted to see the one he had been waiting for all this time. Wufei nodded, understanding the need in his eyes, and the Chinese man silently moved, leading them into the private room.
Stopping at the foot of the bed, Heero stopped and just stared. He took in every scratch and every bruise marring the childlike face and arms of his lover. The enormous hospital bed seemed to swallow him up, as if he were lying in a pool of quicksand. His golden hair, catching the light of the room glinted, splayed on the pillow around his head like a halo. Heero knew thinking it was rather cliché, but he couldn't help himself.
A gentle nudge to his back woke him from his thoughts and he stepped forward, and stood at the side of the bed, unable to take his eyes off of the surreal creature. Creature because the being before him was anything but human. A heavenly Godsend maybe, to help him turn his tortured life around, to show him love and hope just with simple words or gestures. To fill his empty heart to its capacity and then giggle wildly as said heart burst and he was finally able to show things of his own.
You are the light
That's leading me
I fought to protect you. His mind told the lifeless body lying in the monstrous bed. I fought to give you the peace we all longed for, searched our entire lives for. And you fought just as hard along side me, to give me the peace I had been searching for. I found my peace in you.
They had found hard, all of them. Against enemies that were unimaginable and all five pilots had seen things, done things that were indescribable with words. They may have been pilots but they had fought hand to hand. They had killed with their bare hands and all five boys were stronger than grown men were.
So how had this happened?
To the place where
I find peace again
You are the strength
That keeps me walking
Six months to the day. It had been a beautiful October morning, even though it was the twenty third the weather was warm. The day was going normally, the alarm went off at a quarter to seven and Heero had gently forced his lover out of bed and into the shower. It was well known that Quatre was not a morning person, but after a shower he was usually more approachable, and today was no different.
Quatre smiled sweetly as he came down the stairs, his hair still damp. He grabbed an apple from the fridge then turned to Heero who was sitting at the hand crafted oak table typing away on his laptop. "Busy so early?"" He wondered. As the blonde draped his arms across Heero's shoulders.
"Busy as always koi." Heero replied as he stopped typing so he could lean back against the slightly smaller figure. He gently nuzzled against Quatre's neck. "You slept through the entire night last night."
"Hn." Quatre moved away and flopped down in one of the chairs. "Yeah, first time in a long time. This Carpenter merger is really important and it's beginning to give me nightmares!" He shook his head as he took a bite out of the apple.
It's almost over. Today, you're going to waltz in to your meeting and win that merger." Heero got up and kissed the top of the Arabian's head, smelling the fragrance from the conditioner the blonde liked to use. Then he went over to the coffeepot and poured his second cup of the morning.
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
Quatre smiled, "You sound so sure. Do you know something that I don't?" He wondered playfully as he leaned back in his chair so his head was tilted and he could see his koi.
Heero went back to the table, this time leaning down and kissing the lush lips that were smiling up at him. "Not something that you don't already know." He looked into the shining aquamarine eyes. "I know you'll do it because I believe in you." He shrugged then sat back in his chair.
Quatre looked at him and shook his head in amusement. "I hope you're right." He got up and sighed, then gently hugged Heero, who drew the smaller boy into his lap. "And when I get home tonight we'll celebrate." He whispered, then gently nibbled on Heero's earlobe suggestively.
Heero groaned. "If you want to even reach your car you'd better stop now." He warned, causing Quatre to laugh.
"I'd challenge that but I've missed more days than I can even count because of you. And even though I'd rather spend the rest of the day curled up beside you, I'd better get going." He sighed forlornly.
"Keep thinking about tonight." Heero whispered, "We'll cuddle close with nothing between us in front of the fire place, and then." Heero trailed off as he claimed Quatre's lips, letting Quatre's imagination continue the thought.
When they pulled away Quatre's breathing was slightly labored. "You are evil Heero Yuy." His voice had grown husky. "And I love you for it." He grinned and kissed Heero's lips one last time.
"I love you too and I'll prove it to you tonight. Keep that thought in mind and go knock them dead." The dark-haired man said as Quatre got up.
"I'll see you later love." Quatre waved as he grabbed his car keys and briefcase.
You are the life
To my soul
With the whole day standing in the way of a blissful tonight Heero finished the report he was working on for Lady Une and the Preventers. He had been working with the organization since it had been established after the war of AC195. Since then, Preventer Wing and occasionally Preventer Sandstorm were sent on missions to help prevent another war.
Heero had made sure that both he and Quatre never had missions that either one of them could get killed. Heero had made a vow at the end of the Mariemaia takeover that he would never kill again, though the vow had been changed a bit; he still stood by it. He'd kill in self-defense and protect Quatre no matter what. If something were to ever happen to his lover, Heero wouldn't be able to go on.
You are my purpose
You are everything
During the beginning of the war the only reason Heero fought was for the peace that needed to be attained. Then he had met Relena. Somehow he had known that she'd play a big part in that peace, so he had fought to protect her, even after he had met Quatre. But Relena had proved not to be the purpose he had needed to survive, and he finally found his purpose, his life's purpose after the Zero System had taken over Quatre's mind and he had 'killed' the Heavyarms pilot.
Heero had meant every word he had said to Quatre and the Wing pilot was planning on killing the small Arabian. But once they ha both calmed down, after said Arabian had helped Heero, the meaning of those words tapered off until they became idol threats. Heero slowly got to know the strange boy, like he had gotten to know Duo and Trowa before him. But his feelings for the pale boy were different some how and at first Heero didn't know how he felt exactly.
And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me?
How could it be?
Any better than this
His heart felt like it was going to burst and his stomach kept doing flips. He disregarded these feelings as the flu even though he knew what they were. They were in the middle of a war and there was no point in letting his feelings get in the way when the soul that he loved could be ripped out of his life with a single hit.
Yes, that's right. Love.
Barking drew him from his tent and his breath literally caught in his throat at the sight before him. He watched, captivated, as innocence and purity raced across the beach, running and playing with the two beats that were set up to guard them.
All thoughts of battles and death had left his mind in a single heartbeat and he knew, had known that he needed to say something.
You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You still my heart
And you take my breath away
That same night before escaping to go only God knew where to do only God knew what, he had confessed. He had thought up a whole explanation but it was all thrown out an imaginary window as soon as he met Quatre's gaze. He didn't need a speech or explanation for this boy.
"I love you." He said.
Forgetting about the special connection that Quatre had with other people, particularly him- Heero figured the boy would be a little surprised. But the cherub only smiled shyly and nodded, then said, "I know."
The remainder of that night was spent in each other's arms and for a few hours, they were at peace. There was no war; it was only the two of them.
Would you take me in?
Would you take me deeper now?
The day that the war had ended, and after the war had ended while everyone celebrated Heero and the other pilots had sat in a hospital's waiting room, waiting - impatiently - for any news on their friend.
And finally, when it seemed that Duo Maxwell was going to drive them all insane the doctor came into the room to announce that Quatre would be all right. Heero remembered turning to Trowa, Quatre's best friend, and lifesaver. He knew that nothing he could say or do could ever repay the quiet boy and as Trowa nodded at seeing the look in Heero's eyes, he knew he'd never have to.
Before entering Quatre's private room, much different than the one he was in now, Heero had heard Duo whisper to Wufei, "Who'd have thought the Heero of all people would be the one to fall so deep."
Heero could only smile.
And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me?
How could it be?
Any better than this
That awful day repeated itself in his mind, over and over again. Quatre had called sometime in the afternoon. He had won the merger and he couldn't wait so they could celebrate. Heero had been sitting on the large couch in their living room, reading a novel that Quatre had insisted he read. The phone rang just as he turned the page to chapter four.
It was Duo and he looked upset. "Heero, turn to channel six." He had whispered, his voice sounded horse. Without saying a word or hanging up, Heero had left the phone and turned on the TV.
"We are coming to you live from the Winner Incorporated Headquarters." A blonde reporter appeared on the screen and behind her lights from an ambulance flashed harshly. Heero could see Sally, a paramedic and doctor in the background talking to some people who worked with Quatre. "Where the president Quatre Winner was found brutally beaten." The words had echoed inside Heero's head.
"Mr. Winner was found lying beside his vehicle in a pool of his own blood. Witnesses, members of Winner's staff have reported a large group of teenagers were hanging around the same car that morning and a few have reported seeing them around just prior to the attack. The assault weapon was found beside Mr. Winner's body, a metal baseball bat covered with blood matching to that of Mr. Winner." The reporter moved back to where Sally stood and the people she was talking to.
"Did you see anything?" The reporter asked.
A woman, who was older in years nodded, "Three boys, teenagers. They were making obscene comments while Quatre.Mr. Winner was heading to his car. I was standing by my own car and they didn't see me. One of the boys called him a f*beep* and then they hit him with the bat. I used my cell phone to call the police but by the time they got here." She just shook her head.
The reporter turned to the camera again. "This is clearly another attack directed at homosexuals. This has been the fifth gay bashing attack in the last six months."
'Cause you're all I want
You are all I need
Six months later, six months of being comatose. The chance of waking from a coma at three months is almost unheard of. But Quatre's will had stated that Heero had all claims on his life and Heero had kept him alive.hoping.
He looked down at the body lying across the bed. Never again would he heard that voice, that laugh.He's never see that smile or feel those lips. This would be the last time he'd get to hold his hand.
If only had had been there to protect you. If only I had kept you home that day. If only something had gone wrong in the merger, forcing you to stay late. If only.the thoughts ran through his head like an old film.
A week after the attack two of the boys had been caught. In the courtroom after their sentence one of the two had turned to him and had laughed. "What was he to you anyway?" He had chided.
The answer was simple. So Heero told him.
You are everything
Everything
Finally, Heero nodded and the plug was pulled.
---
OWARI
Dedication: to Chris
Pairing: 1x4
Song belongs to "Lifehouse" and GW belong to this really rich guy.
---
"Everything"
Duo slowly entered the waiting room of the hospital. He was forcing himself to be there, two of his friends needed him and he would never disappoint them. He had left the death with the war five years ago, but the hospital reeked of the sick and dying and the smell alone seemed to make his throat close up so he was unable to swallow or breathe. He could almost imagine the plain off white walls and the tiled floors coated with drying blood. He knew that a hospital was a place that helped a lot of sick and injured people, but he didn't feel like looking on the good side of things right now, not with everybody feeling the way they were.
He coughed slightly as he sat down in the middle of the long leather couch, across from his best friend who sat in a matching leather chair. It wasn't real leather, Duo noticed, but he knew he was avoiding the subject by looking for distractions.just like the tiny ant crawling across the worn bluish carpet just under his boot. He sighed and sat up, avoiding crushing the tiny creature on purpose. Then he looked up into storming blue eyes. He had known the boy, now a man since the war, and once said war had ended the once perfect soldier had changed. He hadn't needed to act tough anymore now that there wasn't a reason to, but Duo could see that he was trying to find that perfect mask of a warrior again, a Gundam pilot.
Find me here
Speak to me
"Hey Heero, Sally said you can go in now." Duo finally spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had laced itself around them like an overbearing knot. Clouded eyes turned to him but the voice remained silent as they fell back to the rug, noticing the ant for the first time. Such a small and insignificant life, yet a life just the same. The ant breathed, ate, slept, and lived. And that life could be snuffed out so easily, all it would take was for Duo to lift his foot and bring it down again and that life would be gone, forever.
A hand landed on his shoulder, causing the quiet boy to jump and look up at the person who had woken him from his thoughts. It was Trowa. His best friend, Heero remembered. As cobalt met emerald green Heero could see how worried the taller man was. "Don't make him wait." The request was quiet and Heero could only nod and stand.
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
Wordlessly the three made their way down the hall and to one of the rooms. 401. Heero noted as their footsteps echoed down the long empty corridor. He wondered if the beating of his heart sounded like that, his body felt just as empty as the hallway.
Wufei met them in the doorway. He bowed slightly, out of respect but Heero shook his head. He just wanted to see the one he had been waiting for all this time. Wufei nodded, understanding the need in his eyes, and the Chinese man silently moved, leading them into the private room.
Stopping at the foot of the bed, Heero stopped and just stared. He took in every scratch and every bruise marring the childlike face and arms of his lover. The enormous hospital bed seemed to swallow him up, as if he were lying in a pool of quicksand. His golden hair, catching the light of the room glinted, splayed on the pillow around his head like a halo. Heero knew thinking it was rather cliché, but he couldn't help himself.
A gentle nudge to his back woke him from his thoughts and he stepped forward, and stood at the side of the bed, unable to take his eyes off of the surreal creature. Creature because the being before him was anything but human. A heavenly Godsend maybe, to help him turn his tortured life around, to show him love and hope just with simple words or gestures. To fill his empty heart to its capacity and then giggle wildly as said heart burst and he was finally able to show things of his own.
You are the light
That's leading me
I fought to protect you. His mind told the lifeless body lying in the monstrous bed. I fought to give you the peace we all longed for, searched our entire lives for. And you fought just as hard along side me, to give me the peace I had been searching for. I found my peace in you.
They had found hard, all of them. Against enemies that were unimaginable and all five pilots had seen things, done things that were indescribable with words. They may have been pilots but they had fought hand to hand. They had killed with their bare hands and all five boys were stronger than grown men were.
So how had this happened?
To the place where
I find peace again
You are the strength
That keeps me walking
Six months to the day. It had been a beautiful October morning, even though it was the twenty third the weather was warm. The day was going normally, the alarm went off at a quarter to seven and Heero had gently forced his lover out of bed and into the shower. It was well known that Quatre was not a morning person, but after a shower he was usually more approachable, and today was no different.
Quatre smiled sweetly as he came down the stairs, his hair still damp. He grabbed an apple from the fridge then turned to Heero who was sitting at the hand crafted oak table typing away on his laptop. "Busy so early?"" He wondered. As the blonde draped his arms across Heero's shoulders.
"Busy as always koi." Heero replied as he stopped typing so he could lean back against the slightly smaller figure. He gently nuzzled against Quatre's neck. "You slept through the entire night last night."
"Hn." Quatre moved away and flopped down in one of the chairs. "Yeah, first time in a long time. This Carpenter merger is really important and it's beginning to give me nightmares!" He shook his head as he took a bite out of the apple.
It's almost over. Today, you're going to waltz in to your meeting and win that merger." Heero got up and kissed the top of the Arabian's head, smelling the fragrance from the conditioner the blonde liked to use. Then he went over to the coffeepot and poured his second cup of the morning.
You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
Quatre smiled, "You sound so sure. Do you know something that I don't?" He wondered playfully as he leaned back in his chair so his head was tilted and he could see his koi.
Heero went back to the table, this time leaning down and kissing the lush lips that were smiling up at him. "Not something that you don't already know." He looked into the shining aquamarine eyes. "I know you'll do it because I believe in you." He shrugged then sat back in his chair.
Quatre looked at him and shook his head in amusement. "I hope you're right." He got up and sighed, then gently hugged Heero, who drew the smaller boy into his lap. "And when I get home tonight we'll celebrate." He whispered, then gently nibbled on Heero's earlobe suggestively.
Heero groaned. "If you want to even reach your car you'd better stop now." He warned, causing Quatre to laugh.
"I'd challenge that but I've missed more days than I can even count because of you. And even though I'd rather spend the rest of the day curled up beside you, I'd better get going." He sighed forlornly.
"Keep thinking about tonight." Heero whispered, "We'll cuddle close with nothing between us in front of the fire place, and then." Heero trailed off as he claimed Quatre's lips, letting Quatre's imagination continue the thought.
When they pulled away Quatre's breathing was slightly labored. "You are evil Heero Yuy." His voice had grown husky. "And I love you for it." He grinned and kissed Heero's lips one last time.
"I love you too and I'll prove it to you tonight. Keep that thought in mind and go knock them dead." The dark-haired man said as Quatre got up.
"I'll see you later love." Quatre waved as he grabbed his car keys and briefcase.
You are the life
To my soul
With the whole day standing in the way of a blissful tonight Heero finished the report he was working on for Lady Une and the Preventers. He had been working with the organization since it had been established after the war of AC195. Since then, Preventer Wing and occasionally Preventer Sandstorm were sent on missions to help prevent another war.
Heero had made sure that both he and Quatre never had missions that either one of them could get killed. Heero had made a vow at the end of the Mariemaia takeover that he would never kill again, though the vow had been changed a bit; he still stood by it. He'd kill in self-defense and protect Quatre no matter what. If something were to ever happen to his lover, Heero wouldn't be able to go on.
You are my purpose
You are everything
During the beginning of the war the only reason Heero fought was for the peace that needed to be attained. Then he had met Relena. Somehow he had known that she'd play a big part in that peace, so he had fought to protect her, even after he had met Quatre. But Relena had proved not to be the purpose he had needed to survive, and he finally found his purpose, his life's purpose after the Zero System had taken over Quatre's mind and he had 'killed' the Heavyarms pilot.
Heero had meant every word he had said to Quatre and the Wing pilot was planning on killing the small Arabian. But once they ha both calmed down, after said Arabian had helped Heero, the meaning of those words tapered off until they became idol threats. Heero slowly got to know the strange boy, like he had gotten to know Duo and Trowa before him. But his feelings for the pale boy were different some how and at first Heero didn't know how he felt exactly.
And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me?
How could it be?
Any better than this
His heart felt like it was going to burst and his stomach kept doing flips. He disregarded these feelings as the flu even though he knew what they were. They were in the middle of a war and there was no point in letting his feelings get in the way when the soul that he loved could be ripped out of his life with a single hit.
Yes, that's right. Love.
Barking drew him from his tent and his breath literally caught in his throat at the sight before him. He watched, captivated, as innocence and purity raced across the beach, running and playing with the two beats that were set up to guard them.
All thoughts of battles and death had left his mind in a single heartbeat and he knew, had known that he needed to say something.
You calm the storms
You give me rest
You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall
You still my heart
And you take my breath away
That same night before escaping to go only God knew where to do only God knew what, he had confessed. He had thought up a whole explanation but it was all thrown out an imaginary window as soon as he met Quatre's gaze. He didn't need a speech or explanation for this boy.
"I love you." He said.
Forgetting about the special connection that Quatre had with other people, particularly him- Heero figured the boy would be a little surprised. But the cherub only smiled shyly and nodded, then said, "I know."
The remainder of that night was spent in each other's arms and for a few hours, they were at peace. There was no war; it was only the two of them.
Would you take me in?
Would you take me deeper now?
The day that the war had ended, and after the war had ended while everyone celebrated Heero and the other pilots had sat in a hospital's waiting room, waiting - impatiently - for any news on their friend.
And finally, when it seemed that Duo Maxwell was going to drive them all insane the doctor came into the room to announce that Quatre would be all right. Heero remembered turning to Trowa, Quatre's best friend, and lifesaver. He knew that nothing he could say or do could ever repay the quiet boy and as Trowa nodded at seeing the look in Heero's eyes, he knew he'd never have to.
Before entering Quatre's private room, much different than the one he was in now, Heero had heard Duo whisper to Wufei, "Who'd have thought the Heero of all people would be the one to fall so deep."
Heero could only smile.
And how can I
Stand here with you
And not be moved by you
Would you tell me?
How could it be?
Any better than this
That awful day repeated itself in his mind, over and over again. Quatre had called sometime in the afternoon. He had won the merger and he couldn't wait so they could celebrate. Heero had been sitting on the large couch in their living room, reading a novel that Quatre had insisted he read. The phone rang just as he turned the page to chapter four.
It was Duo and he looked upset. "Heero, turn to channel six." He had whispered, his voice sounded horse. Without saying a word or hanging up, Heero had left the phone and turned on the TV.
"We are coming to you live from the Winner Incorporated Headquarters." A blonde reporter appeared on the screen and behind her lights from an ambulance flashed harshly. Heero could see Sally, a paramedic and doctor in the background talking to some people who worked with Quatre. "Where the president Quatre Winner was found brutally beaten." The words had echoed inside Heero's head.
"Mr. Winner was found lying beside his vehicle in a pool of his own blood. Witnesses, members of Winner's staff have reported a large group of teenagers were hanging around the same car that morning and a few have reported seeing them around just prior to the attack. The assault weapon was found beside Mr. Winner's body, a metal baseball bat covered with blood matching to that of Mr. Winner." The reporter moved back to where Sally stood and the people she was talking to.
"Did you see anything?" The reporter asked.
A woman, who was older in years nodded, "Three boys, teenagers. They were making obscene comments while Quatre.Mr. Winner was heading to his car. I was standing by my own car and they didn't see me. One of the boys called him a f*beep* and then they hit him with the bat. I used my cell phone to call the police but by the time they got here." She just shook her head.
The reporter turned to the camera again. "This is clearly another attack directed at homosexuals. This has been the fifth gay bashing attack in the last six months."
'Cause you're all I want
You are all I need
Six months later, six months of being comatose. The chance of waking from a coma at three months is almost unheard of. But Quatre's will had stated that Heero had all claims on his life and Heero had kept him alive.hoping.
He looked down at the body lying across the bed. Never again would he heard that voice, that laugh.He's never see that smile or feel those lips. This would be the last time he'd get to hold his hand.
If only had had been there to protect you. If only I had kept you home that day. If only something had gone wrong in the merger, forcing you to stay late. If only.the thoughts ran through his head like an old film.
A week after the attack two of the boys had been caught. In the courtroom after their sentence one of the two had turned to him and had laughed. "What was he to you anyway?" He had chided.
The answer was simple. So Heero told him.
You are everything
Everything
Finally, Heero nodded and the plug was pulled.
---
OWARI
