Title: Moonlight Rave (3/?)
Author: Melanie M./Shai/Misty AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.
Pairing: Sam/Nicole (soon there will be others)
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc. Oh, another major warning. Blood, cutting and a psycho side of Lily nobody EVER expected.
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness and the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls, not me.
Comments: I really need feedback. Remember, FEED ME! That is all.
Moonlight Rave 3
Sam waltzed cheerily into the McQueen-McPherson home and made nonchalant beeline for her bedroom. She really wanted to get online and talk to Nicole. By now she had had time to tie up and cage the part of her mind that was telling her she should just turn away from Nicole now and never look back. It was amazing how one night could change a girls whole way of thinking. Now she wanted to live on the edge, tell the world that Sam McPherson wasn't a dull gal or the kind you could simply toy with. She was actually loving every minute of this high and she hoped it would never end.
She peeked into Brooke's room and was worried to see the poor girl curled up and staring into space with a solemn look.
"Brooke? Are you ok?"
Brooke jumped but eased, realizing it was only Sam. "Yeah," she replied weakly.
That wasn't good enough for Sam. Something was wrong and she had a pretty good idea of what it was. "Did Lily come by?"
Brooke nodded sadly.
"Oh god, what did you say to her?"
"Nothing really, just that I liked a certain someone. Then she ran out as fast as she could."
"Oh shit," Sam cursed simply as she rushed to her room and dialed Lily's number. Not getting an answer Sam rushed out of her house and headed straight for Carmen's.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nicole sat listening to the new Melissa Etheridge hit "I Wanna Be In Love" as she sat in the tub thinking of the night before. The phone broke her dreamy state as it rang loudly. She took it from its tub side position and said cheerily into the phone, "Hello."
"Hey Nic. Can you come over? I need to talk to you."
"Brookie? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just need to talk to you."
"Ok, I'll be right there."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Is she ok Carm?"
"She'll be fine. Brooke just really hurt her when she said a name other than her's."
"Did she tell you who?"
"No. She said she didn't want to break Brooke's trust like that although the description gave away the identity of the mystery person. She asked me not to tell."
"Go figure. Can I hang out here til she wakes up?"
"Sure."
They headed into the living room to find Lily sitting there quietly.
"Lil," Sam said softly.
"Yeah."
"She didn't mean to hurt you, really."
"I know Sam but. . ."
"What?"
"I love her Sam."
"WHAT?"
"I tried to tell you that earlier but you were too upset to listen."
"At least you're not in love with Satan." 'Thank god.'
"Yeah."
"Lily, you should talk to her."
"Maybe later. I don't think I could be in the same room as her right now."
"Ok."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Brookie, hun, what's wrong?"
"Nic, I. . ." Brooke couldn't seem to find the words so she found an action. She tentatively kissed her best friend.
Nicole pulled away. "I can't."
Brooke was taken back. She figured Nic would be having a bitch fit but all she had said was "I can't". "Why?"
"I just can't."
"Nic. . .please tell me why."
"Brookie, I'm spoken for."
"By who?"
"That I'm not ready to tell you. I'm sorry hun. I love you and all but not that way and I'm sorry if I hurt you by saying what I did."
Brooke smiled weakly. "It's ok Nic."
Nicole hugged her best friend and sighed deeply. "We're not letting this come between us, right?"
"Right," Brooke whispered, letting Nicole go as she pulled away.
"I'd better go. Brookie, you'll find somebody. I know it."
Brooke smiled weakly as her best friend left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lily sat in her room listening to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
~ And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now ~
Lily sighed deeply. She would give anything within reason to even hold Brooke's hand, touch her cheek or even sit next to her. She knew Brooke acknowledged her existence but not as a person. Only as one of Sam's friends. Brooke was her angel, the little piece of heaven that was just far enough out of reach and when she'd been talking to her she felt so close to the cheerleader, so completely content that it scared her. She didn't want to leave but those word hurt her so bad that she couldn't bare to stay.
~ And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight ~
Sitting with Brooke had made her day, even if what she found out had hurt her. She had had a brief taste of happiness, a breath of life she'd never had before and she wanted so much more. Sitting there in her room she couldn't stop thinking of those gentle hazel eyes staring into hers, those kissable lips parting to speak and that serene voice speaking only to her. God, was she in too deep or what?
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am ~
Looking at a picture of her family she sighed. She wanted Brooke to know what she felt but she wasn't ready to let the world see what she was. She wasn't ashamed but she knew that they wouldn't understand. None of them would. Boundaries would be broken, worlds and opinions shattered yet she still wanted Brooke to see her instead of seeing past her.
~ And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive ~
Those lines struck her deep down and her emotions and memories began to run rampant. When she was young she would cry to let out frustration or anger but she had become unable to cry by age ten. She'd become solid as stone because of her family and truth had hardly been her game before high school. She'd been a very evil child but had seemingly turned that around. Or so she thought. She had her home life and her school life, no room to be evil. . except when she was alone. She hated being alone. She use to bleed to know she was alive, to know she existed and as bad as she felt right now it felt good to feel pain, to have something other than her lonely thoughts to accompany her great selection in mood music. Life seemed so surreal right now, so much like a teen drama she'd never pay any attention to on TV. She clutched her old pagan dagger in her right hand, its gold handle still as shiny as it had been the last time.
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am ~
She threw her shirt to the side of the bed and slowly pierced her skin, leaving a small gash on her side. As the blood eased down her side she sighed as if in relief. She grabbed a small washcloth and held it to her wound as she dizzily sang the remainder of the song.
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am ~
Heading into the bathroom she nonchalantly cleaned her cut and headed straight for bed. Tomorrow, she knew, would hurt but to her it was worth it. If she didn't have Brooke she could still have her favorite stress management technique.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Brooke sat quietly, listening to the radio. When "Iris" came on she sighed. It was such a beautiful song and she could relate to it. She'd had all day to think and had come to one conclusion. She loved Nicole and she wanted Nicole but she didn't love her the way she wanted to love. Her feelings had betrayed her by giving her mixed signals but not that it was cleared up her conclusion was simple. Brooke McQueen was a lesbian. Nic had only been the most recent.
Brooke had thought back as far as she could and found that everything she'd ever done was somehow connected to her liking of women. She'd even tied cheerleading into the mix. She'd had numerous female crushes and not even realized that's what they had been. The two that stuck out the most were Sam and Nicole. Sam was cute and Brooke wanted nothing more than to get in her pants but she had more decency than that and she wasn't the type to use people unless she had to. Nicole had been a bigger mess because she'd thought it was love though she finally concluded it was envy. She wanted Nicole's strength, self confidence, attitude and pride and her mind had confused those emotions for love.
Now Brooke McQueen was on a mission. 'Tomorrow Brooke McQueen, you take a new look on life and begin finding your true path in life. Ok, that sounds complicated. Baby steps. Tomorrow I'll talk to Lily,' Brooke thought as she turned out the light.
~~ End ~~
Author: Melanie M./Shai/Misty AKA SailorFireStarr@aol.com/SSailorUranuss@aol.com
Archive: please ASK if you want to archive it.
Pairing: Sam/Nicole (soon there will be others)
Rating: R/NC-17
Warnings: language, sexual content, etc. Oh, another major warning. Blood, cutting and a psycho side of Lily nobody EVER expected.
Disclaimers: I'm not privileged enough to own Popular or any of the characters, I'm just a thriving artist using the characters for my own bidding and twistedness and the song belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls, not me.
Comments: I really need feedback. Remember, FEED ME! That is all.
Moonlight Rave 3
Sam waltzed cheerily into the McQueen-McPherson home and made nonchalant beeline for her bedroom. She really wanted to get online and talk to Nicole. By now she had had time to tie up and cage the part of her mind that was telling her she should just turn away from Nicole now and never look back. It was amazing how one night could change a girls whole way of thinking. Now she wanted to live on the edge, tell the world that Sam McPherson wasn't a dull gal or the kind you could simply toy with. She was actually loving every minute of this high and she hoped it would never end.
She peeked into Brooke's room and was worried to see the poor girl curled up and staring into space with a solemn look.
"Brooke? Are you ok?"
Brooke jumped but eased, realizing it was only Sam. "Yeah," she replied weakly.
That wasn't good enough for Sam. Something was wrong and she had a pretty good idea of what it was. "Did Lily come by?"
Brooke nodded sadly.
"Oh god, what did you say to her?"
"Nothing really, just that I liked a certain someone. Then she ran out as fast as she could."
"Oh shit," Sam cursed simply as she rushed to her room and dialed Lily's number. Not getting an answer Sam rushed out of her house and headed straight for Carmen's.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nicole sat listening to the new Melissa Etheridge hit "I Wanna Be In Love" as she sat in the tub thinking of the night before. The phone broke her dreamy state as it rang loudly. She took it from its tub side position and said cheerily into the phone, "Hello."
"Hey Nic. Can you come over? I need to talk to you."
"Brookie? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just need to talk to you."
"Ok, I'll be right there."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Is she ok Carm?"
"She'll be fine. Brooke just really hurt her when she said a name other than her's."
"Did she tell you who?"
"No. She said she didn't want to break Brooke's trust like that although the description gave away the identity of the mystery person. She asked me not to tell."
"Go figure. Can I hang out here til she wakes up?"
"Sure."
They headed into the living room to find Lily sitting there quietly.
"Lil," Sam said softly.
"Yeah."
"She didn't mean to hurt you, really."
"I know Sam but. . ."
"What?"
"I love her Sam."
"WHAT?"
"I tried to tell you that earlier but you were too upset to listen."
"At least you're not in love with Satan." 'Thank god.'
"Yeah."
"Lily, you should talk to her."
"Maybe later. I don't think I could be in the same room as her right now."
"Ok."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Brookie, hun, what's wrong?"
"Nic, I. . ." Brooke couldn't seem to find the words so she found an action. She tentatively kissed her best friend.
Nicole pulled away. "I can't."
Brooke was taken back. She figured Nic would be having a bitch fit but all she had said was "I can't". "Why?"
"I just can't."
"Nic. . .please tell me why."
"Brookie, I'm spoken for."
"By who?"
"That I'm not ready to tell you. I'm sorry hun. I love you and all but not that way and I'm sorry if I hurt you by saying what I did."
Brooke smiled weakly. "It's ok Nic."
Nicole hugged her best friend and sighed deeply. "We're not letting this come between us, right?"
"Right," Brooke whispered, letting Nicole go as she pulled away.
"I'd better go. Brookie, you'll find somebody. I know it."
Brooke smiled weakly as her best friend left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Lily sat in her room listening to "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls.
~ And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now ~
Lily sighed deeply. She would give anything within reason to even hold Brooke's hand, touch her cheek or even sit next to her. She knew Brooke acknowledged her existence but not as a person. Only as one of Sam's friends. Brooke was her angel, the little piece of heaven that was just far enough out of reach and when she'd been talking to her she felt so close to the cheerleader, so completely content that it scared her. She didn't want to leave but those word hurt her so bad that she couldn't bare to stay.
~ And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight ~
Sitting with Brooke had made her day, even if what she found out had hurt her. She had had a brief taste of happiness, a breath of life she'd never had before and she wanted so much more. Sitting there in her room she couldn't stop thinking of those gentle hazel eyes staring into hers, those kissable lips parting to speak and that serene voice speaking only to her. God, was she in too deep or what?
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am ~
Looking at a picture of her family she sighed. She wanted Brooke to know what she felt but she wasn't ready to let the world see what she was. She wasn't ashamed but she knew that they wouldn't understand. None of them would. Boundaries would be broken, worlds and opinions shattered yet she still wanted Brooke to see her instead of seeing past her.
~ And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive ~
Those lines struck her deep down and her emotions and memories began to run rampant. When she was young she would cry to let out frustration or anger but she had become unable to cry by age ten. She'd become solid as stone because of her family and truth had hardly been her game before high school. She'd been a very evil child but had seemingly turned that around. Or so she thought. She had her home life and her school life, no room to be evil. . except when she was alone. She hated being alone. She use to bleed to know she was alive, to know she existed and as bad as she felt right now it felt good to feel pain, to have something other than her lonely thoughts to accompany her great selection in mood music. Life seemed so surreal right now, so much like a teen drama she'd never pay any attention to on TV. She clutched her old pagan dagger in her right hand, its gold handle still as shiny as it had been the last time.
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am ~
She threw her shirt to the side of the bed and slowly pierced her skin, leaving a small gash on her side. As the blood eased down her side she sighed as if in relief. She grabbed a small washcloth and held it to her wound as she dizzily sang the remainder of the song.
~ And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am ~
Heading into the bathroom she nonchalantly cleaned her cut and headed straight for bed. Tomorrow, she knew, would hurt but to her it was worth it. If she didn't have Brooke she could still have her favorite stress management technique.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Brooke sat quietly, listening to the radio. When "Iris" came on she sighed. It was such a beautiful song and she could relate to it. She'd had all day to think and had come to one conclusion. She loved Nicole and she wanted Nicole but she didn't love her the way she wanted to love. Her feelings had betrayed her by giving her mixed signals but not that it was cleared up her conclusion was simple. Brooke McQueen was a lesbian. Nic had only been the most recent.
Brooke had thought back as far as she could and found that everything she'd ever done was somehow connected to her liking of women. She'd even tied cheerleading into the mix. She'd had numerous female crushes and not even realized that's what they had been. The two that stuck out the most were Sam and Nicole. Sam was cute and Brooke wanted nothing more than to get in her pants but she had more decency than that and she wasn't the type to use people unless she had to. Nicole had been a bigger mess because she'd thought it was love though she finally concluded it was envy. She wanted Nicole's strength, self confidence, attitude and pride and her mind had confused those emotions for love.
Now Brooke McQueen was on a mission. 'Tomorrow Brooke McQueen, you take a new look on life and begin finding your true path in life. Ok, that sounds complicated. Baby steps. Tomorrow I'll talk to Lily,' Brooke thought as she turned out the light.
~~ End ~~
