Disclaimer: I don't own SW or any recognizable characters. I'll return everything unharmed. Relatively.

Author's note: It might help if you read Silver, Anybody? First. I think there are a few references in here. If you click on my name (above) that'll take you to a page with a link to it. Please review!

Obi's Checkup

Obi-Wan Kenobi trudged gloomily down the hall towards his quarters. He reluctantly walked into the common room to find Qui-Gon waiting for him. "Good, you're here. It's time for your yearly checkup." Qui-Gon sounded entirely too cheerful about this.

Obi: But Master! I feel fine. Why do I have to go to the Healers?

Qui: I already told you. It's time for your yearly checkup.

Obi: (Whining.) But why? I spend enough time there as it is! (Mutters to himself.) What did I do to deserve this?

Qui: Hmm...let me think...Oh, yes, you followed me through the Temple last week insisting that I marry you.

Obi: That doesn't count! I didn't know what Silver was going to do to me!

Qui: Are you whining?

Obi: (Sarcastically) No, not me. It's the bad little Padawans behind you.

Qui: That's what I thought. Now shut up and walk.

Obi: Yes, Master.

Qui: Ah. Silence. I wish i heard this more often.

Obi: How can you here silence? I mean, I thought silence was the absence of... (Shuts up when he sees Qui glaring at him.) Uh, shutting up now.

Qui: That's good. Especially if you want to live until your fifteenth birthday. And by the way, your teachers have been lying to you all these years.

(The pair has now reached the Healers' Wing.)

Receptionist Droid: (In a sickly sweet voice.) Why are you here today?

Qui: My apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, is here for his yearly checkup.

(Obi is glowering at his Master.)

Receptionist Droid: All right. Please proceed to room seven. Healer Anj-Paj will see you shortly.

Obi: Nooooooooooooooooooo!! He has COLD hands!

Qui: Obi? What did I tell you about silence and your fifteenth birthday?

Obi: Oh, yeah. (Thinks for a minute.) Uh, I forgot.

Receptionist Droid: (The Droid's sickly sweet voice almost sounds irritated.) Please proceed to room seven. Healer Anj-Paj will see you shortly.

(Qui drags a screaming Obi, by his braid, into room seven.)

Qui: Are you to old to trade in?

Obi: Yes.

Qui: Too bad. I heard from Mace that there's an Initiate that keeps his mouth shut.

Obi: That's impossible. You know you can't believe Mace on a regular basis.

Qui: (Growls.) Obi-Wan...

Obi: Sorry Master. Shutting up.

(Just then Healer Anj-Paj comes in wearing a fluorescent orange robe and an enormous smile.)

Anj-Paj: (Very enthusiastically.) Obi! It's great to see you! How long has it been? Three weeks this time? What's wrong now?

Obi: Mmmuumph.

Anj-Paj: (Still very enthusiastic.) How are you today Qui? More talkative than your apprentice?

Qui: I'm fine. My apprentice is here for his yearly checkup. And if I were more talkative than my apprentice, I wouldn't be able to stop talking for long enough to breathe.

Anj-Paj: I see! Why the glum face, Obi, my boy?

(Obi has gone back to glowering. This time his glare is directed at Anj-Paj.)

Anj-Paj: Oh, cheer up! (Face lights up in a huge smile.) Tell you what, If you're a very good boy today, I'll give you a lollipop when we're all finished! How does that sound?

Obi: (Sarcastically) Oh, joy! (Turns serious.) I am NOT going to be bribed by a lollipop.

Anj-Paj: I have cherry!

Obi: (Thinks for a second.) OK.

Anj-Paj: (Very cheerful.) Good. Now let's get started!

(For the next half-hour, Anj-Paj pokes, prods, and measures Obi with every conceivable instrument.)

Anj-Paj: (Cheerful mood is now replaced by a glum one.) You're perfectly healthy.

Obi: (Grumbles to himself.) I already knew that. It was the idiot next to me who wanted to find out.

Qui: (Says just loud enough for Obi to hear.) I'm sure I could get the Council to agree to a trade-in.

Obi: (Very quickly.) Sorry, Master!

(Just as the pair is leaving the examining room, some sort of furry creature walks by.)

Obi: Achoo! Achoo! (The sneezes are so loud a nurse comes out of a nearby room to see what the problem was.) What was that?

Anj-Paj: (Suddenly, his very cheerful, enthusiastic mood returns.) I think that you're allergic to that animal. You might be allergic to more things...

(Anj-Paj sits Qui and Obi back down and asks all sorts of questions about sneezing, irritated eyes, stuffy nose, plant and animal life on worlds they had visited during missions, and a thousand other trivial things.)

Anj-Paj: I think that Obi has some serious allergies. I'm going to set you up an appointment with the Temple allergist. How does tomorrow afternoon sound?

Obi: Not good. I have...uh...ballet dancing! Yeah, that's it!

Anj-Paj: Ballet dancing? How... unusual. You'll have to tell me when you have a recital. I'd love to go!

(Obi turns beet red.)

Qui: (Laughing at Obi's choice of excuses.) Tomorrow afternoon will be fine, Healer. I'm sure that missing one ballet practice (Snickers wildly for a moment.) won't hurt too much.

Anj-Paj: All right then! Just come back here tomorrow at (Hands Qui a small appointment card.) that time.

Obi: Nnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(The pair finally leave the examining room and start back toward their apartment.)

Qui: Ballet dancing? Honestly, Obi, I never knew. (Qui's voice is positively dripping with sarcasm.) That's where you've been spending all you time lately!

Obi: Master, BE QUIET!!!

Qui: (Yanks leash, uh, braid.) OBI-WAN KENOBI! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!!!

Obi: So you can say something like that to me, but I can't talk like that to you? This doesn't sound fair at all! And I didn't even get my lollipop!

(By now Obi is whining again.)

Qui: It ISN'T fair. I'm the Master. You're the apprentice. I make the rules. You follow them.

Obi: (Pouts.) I knew you hated me!

Qui: Nah. I just want an apprentice that can keep his mouth shut.

Obi: I CAN. I just don't. Maybe you ticked off the Force.

Qui: Can it Obi. And I didn't tick off the Force, I ticked off the Council. There's a difference. And by the way you're acting, it's time to shovel more food into you, isn't it?

TBC... I hope. Please review. Or email me at galahanz@yahoo.com and nag me to get chapter 2 up.