Disclaimer: I don't own SW or any recognizable characters. Healer Sheehan is mine, though.
Spoilers: None.
Archive: Sure, just tell me where.
Author's note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Ivy, don't worry. Obi isn't ballet dancing. That is a good idea, though. Wildhorse, more stories are coming. As usual, feedback is greatly appreciated.
Obi's Checkup Part 2
(Obi and Qui have been ushered into one of the examining rooms in the Healers' ward. The wait has long since been qualified as interminable. Finally, the allergist comes into see them. His name is Healer Sheehan.)
Sheehan: Hello. Which one of you is Obi?
Obi: (Immediately points at Qui.) Him.
Qui: Ha ha. Very funny, Obi. (Glares at Obi.) Actually, my apprentice is the one here for testing.
Sheehan: Ok. Now, I need to ask you a few questions...
(Sheehan then proceeds to ask hundreds of questions about every conceivable aspect of Obi's life. Many of them are the same as the ones Anj-Paj asked.)
Sheehan: All right, this seems very promising. (Starts to grin wickedly.)
Obi: (Sighs in relief.) Good!
Qui: (Sounds disappointed.) So we're done?
Sheehan: (Grins wider.) No. I want to do reaction tests.
Obi: (Sees the look on Sheehan's face and starts to get nervous.) Huh? What are those? Do I want to know what they are or should I just start running?
Qui: (Attempts to hold back his snickering.) It's all right, Obi. They aren't That bad.
Sheehan: Your Master is right, Obi. All we do is expose your skin to different allergens to see what makes you have a reaction.
Obi: Translation, please.
Qui: (Glares at Obi.) They test your skin to see what you are allergic to.
Obi: (Looks very nervous.) And how would you do that?
Qui: (Snickers more loudly.) Don't worry, all they do is stab you over and over again with enormous needles.
Obi: (Face turns as white as the ugly walls of the examining room.) Nee...needles?
Sheehan: There are two types of reaction tests. One is where we make scratches on your back and put syrum in them. The other is where we use needles and give you injections of the syrum.
Obi: (Very, very nervous now.) And what kind do I need?
Sheehan: (Enthusiastically.) I think we'll do both today.
Qui: (Snickering again.) Do I get to help stab, uh, inject him?
Sheehan: (Smiles understandingly.) No, sorry. Our trained nurses will do that.
Qui: Shoot.
Sheehan: I have other patients to see. The nurses will come in when they have things ready. Meanwhile, take off you tunic, Obi.
(As soon as Sheehan leaves the room, Obi races over to the tiny window and throws it open. He then attempts to wriggle through the eight-inch opening.)
Qui: (Laughs.) That would work if you didn't have such a big head.
Obi: (Now stuck in the opening.) Just get me out!
Qui: (Takes his time walking over.) This is going to be fun. (Grabs Obi's ankles and yanks the boy out of the window. Obi lands in a heap on the floor.)
Obi: (Whining.) Ow! Master, that hurt!
Qui: Are you whining?
Obi: Me? Never!
Qui: That's what I thought.
(Medical Droid comes walking in.)
Droid: Please remove your tunic and lie on the examining table.
Obi: (Slowly removes tunic. Climbs onto the table more slowly than Hoth's snow would melt.) Master...
Qui: (Voice very fakely sweet.) What, Obi?
Droid: Please hold still. (Pulls a needle out of a drawer in the room.)
Obi: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Tries to bolt off the table, but Qui catches him and holds him down.)
Droid: I am now going to inject you with syrum. Please hold still. (Droid fills the needle very, very slowly.)
Obi: (Cringes.) Master! Please let me up?
Qui: Can I trust you? (Thinks for a moment.) No.
Droid: It took you that long to figure it out?
Qui and Obi: What?
Droid: I said it will only be worse if you pout.
Qui and Obi: Oh.
(Droid snickers away about brainless humans while it injects Obi.)
Obi: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
(The Droid continues to inject Obi. It's just Obi's imagination that the droid shoves the needles in harder, right?)
Droid: Please hold still.
(Obi struggles as much as possible, but he doesn't have a chance of escaping from the eight-foot Jedi Master.)
Droid: There! I'm finished. Please wait for the evil Healer Sheehan to come in and check for any sign of irritation. (Droid leaves the room.)
Obi: (Whining, as usual.) That hurt, Master. (Suddenly looks suspicious.) You liked that, didn't you?
Qui: (Looks VERY happy.) No. That depressed me.
Obi: Oh.
(Healer Sheehan comes walking in.)
Sheehan: Hello, Obi! That wasn't bad, was it? I need to see your back.
Obi: Is Hoth cold? (Reluctantly shows the Healer.)
Sheehan: (Looks, very, very glum.) Well, it doesn't look like you are allergic to anything.
Obi: (Looks hopeful.) So no more torture, uh, I mean testing?
Sheehan: (Very, very upset. Manages to look close to the point of tears.) No. I can't find any good excuse.
Qui: Too bad. (Sighs.) Come on, Obi.
Obi: (Carefully gets off table and limps over to the chair he threw his tunic on.) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Qui: (Almost laughing.) Stop limping! You got a few shots on your back, not your legs.
Obi: (Glares at Qui. Then starts whining.) But it hurts!
Qui: Hmmm... you know, I think it would be a good idea to retest you. Maybe the syrum was too weak.
Obi: (Looks like he's about to cry.) Nnnoooooooooooooo!!!!!
Sheehan: (Winks at Qui.) That would be a good idea. He could turn out to be allergic to some of the things on one of those dinky, little, out-of-the-way planets you to get sent to. I'll put it on my calendar.)
Obi: (Runs out of the office and through the rest of the Temple screaming at the top of his lungs.) NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Back in the Healer's office, Qui and Healer Sheehan are cracking up.)
Qui: (Between fits of laughter.) I think I'll bring him back next summer.
Sheehan: It's too good to resist! He's so gullible!
(Both continue laughing so hard that their sides hurt and they can't breathe.)
THE END!
Author's Note II: I'm working on a longer story now, so it will probably be a while before I post anything else. Email me at galahanz@yahoo.com if you have any suggestions.
