"Storybook Love"
A Harry Potter / The Princess Bride crossover fic featuring MWPP
By Frog-Princess, a. k. a. Emily
(ginny@darkcastle.com)
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Harry Potter or The Princess Bride. They are both copyright their respective owners and no infringement is intended with this fic. I have borrowed characters, elements, and plot from the two, so none of it is original - it's just fanfiction.
A/N: I was watching The Princess Bride today... and listening to the soundtrack later on (obsessed?)... and I had the idea for this crossover. This is just something I'm working on to ease a bit of writer's block. I've read at least six HP / TPB crossovers before, only one or two of which were exceptionally good, but I couldn't resist - I had to attempt writing one myself.
Please keep in mind that I have altered a great deal of the characters, plot, etc. - not to mention that it doesn't quite start at the beginning... Oh, and the title comes from the film's main theme, "Storybook Love." No flames, please; this is for amusement only!
Cast:
James Potter ... Westley / Man in black
Lily Evans ... Princess Buttercup
Sirius Black ... Inigo Montoya
Remus Lupin ... Fezzik - though he's not a giant in this fic, he's exceptionally strong [I told you I altered things! Sorry!]
Peter Pettigrew ... Vizzini [Sorry! Sorry!]
Severus Snape ... Prince Humperdinck
Lucius Malfoy ... Count Rugen
Enough author's notes... and now, on with the story!
Storybook Love - Part I
James desperately needed to stop and catch his breath, but there wasn't any time - another curse was being sent straight his way. He dodged the white hot light, holding up his wand and preparing to send one right back. He adjusted his mask. He had to admit, his opponent - a man by the name of Sirius - was good. Better than he was... almost.
He was beginning to feel bad about having to fight Sirius, who not only put up a fair fight, but had shared with James the story of his unfortunate childhood. His father had been hexed by a man with silver-blond hair, and the hex had resulted in his father's death. But before the man was able to escape, Sirius had managed to send a mildly powerful curse his way, leaving the man with a scar across the side of his face. Ever since then, Sirius had been studying the art of the wizard's duel in hopes of one day seeking revenge on his father's murderer.
Sirius, the Spaniard, jumped to his left, avoiding James' curse - but it was a near miss. Strangely enough, the man chuckled, which annoyed James a little. "What is it?" he questioned irritably.
"Just that I know something you don't know," Sirius replied. He tossed his wand up in the air.
"And what's that?" James asked.
Sirius caught the wand, but in his right hand this time. "I'm not left-handed," he admitted with a devilish smile. "Expelliarmus!"
James' wand flew out of his hand and sailed through the air before Sirius caught it. He had to think fast. He looked around frantically, then remembered what he'd brought along with him.
The cloak. As he remembered this, James felt his face break into a grin.
Sirius was approaching fast, the wand held in front of him pointed directly at James. He paused when he realized James was beginning to laugh.
"And may I ask," Sirius inquired, "what you now find to be so funny?"
"Simply that I know something you don't know." A bit of shimmery gray material was hanging from a side pocket of James' robes. With one last grin, he reached for his pocket and removed a large cloak, which he draped over himself. He was there for one split second, but then Sirius blinked, and he was gone. He stood gaping open-mouthed at the spot where his opponent had vanished.
He seems a decent fellow, thought James to himself. I hate to do this, but I can't have him following me.
He muttered a curse under his breath, and a dim blue light shot towards Sirius, knocking him out.
"Please understand," said James sincerely, looking down at the Spaniard that lay unconscious on the ground before him. "I hold you in the highest respect. Sleep well, my friend."
He quickly reminded himself that there was no time to waste, and slipped his own wand out of Sirius' hand. He hastened down the steep, rocky path down which Lily's kidnappers had brought her.
"Th-This can't be happening!" stuttered Peter. He was short and balding, with beady eyes that now stared fearfully down at the old piece of parchment he was holding. "According to the Marauders' Map, he's headed right toward us! Inconceivable!" He quickly scanned the land around them for any sign of a man in black robes.
"Remus," he said nervously to the man standing beside him. Though he was young, hints of gray could be detected in his light brown hair. He wasn't very tall, and his frame was slight. "I'll take Princess Lily," Peter continued. "You deal with him and then catch up with us further ahead!"
Remus was about to protest, but Peter had already left. "And be careful," he heard Peter squeal from a little way off, "you can't trust people in masks!"
James had taken off his invisibility cloak, which, as it was quite large on him, had been slowing him down. Remus, who was standing behind a large boulder (therefore hidden from James' view), suddenly saw him approaching, pursuing Peter at breakneck speed. He looked around, his gaze falling upon a huge fallen log, which he reluctantly lifted. Physically, he appeared very weak, but was actually a great deal stronger than most men his age.
He had always made an effort to use non-violent means to resolve whatever issue he confronted. But he hadn't been able to find a job, not with what he was... he needed the money Peter was paying him...
Remus heaved the log directly in James' path, just as he was about to run into it. The man was startled and came to a halt as Remus stepped out from behind the boulder. "I did that on purpose," he sighed wearily, before James could react. "I didn't have to miss." James didn't know what to say. "Er... thank you," he said awkwardly. "So what happens now?"
"I've been ordered to stop you from continuing past this point," said Remus. "According to Peter, I should kill you right now... but in all honesty, that isn't very fair now, is it?" Remus was shorter than James and less muscular; he didn't look like he could harm a fly. James would have found it very funny if he hadn't just witnessed for himself proof of Remus' unbelievable strength.
"Shall we duel?" asked James, brandishing his wand. Remus shook his head. "We'll face each other the old-fashioned way," he said, "without the use of magic."
James was slightly worried about this. "It looks like the odds are slightly in your favor as far as physical strength," he admitted. Remus smirked. "I'll go easy on you. Unless you don't think you can outsmart me?"
"Fine," James agreed, tucking his wand safely inside his robes again.
A few minutes later, he couldn't believe his luck as he sprang around behind Remus and knocked him face first to the ground. Remus was clever, but it seemed he got tired easily, and it wasn't long before he began to slow down, giving James a greater chance to get past him. When James got up, he realized Remus was out cold.
"Erm... uh... oops," he said aloud. He hadn't meant to knock him out, and supposed he had hit him a little too hard. But it was just as well; it only saved him that much time. Hoping his opponent wouldn't be in too much pain when he came to, James continued along the path Peter had taken.
Upon clearing the rocky summit and crossing over to the other side of the mountain, the first thing James saw was Lily. With her fair skin and dark, wavy red hair, glinting orange and gold in the sun's light, she was looking as beautiful as ever. But she was blindfolded, and bound at the ankles and wrists. She sat helplessly next to Peter, who had apparently been waiting for James to arrive.
Peter twitched nervously, but his eyes were defiant. "S-So," he said. "I guess it's down to you and me."
James stepped foreward, but Peter held up his wand and pointed it toward Lily. "S-Stop right there!" he sputtered. "You'd do well to keep your distance, sir, unless you want the girl dead." Lily gasped fearfully. If only her true love would come for her... She sighed. She remembered all too well the first words James had ever spoken to her. As you wish.
At hearing Lily's pained voice, James stopped in his tracks.
