"Storybook Love"
A Harry Potter / The Princess Bride crossover fic featuring MWPP



By Frog-Princess, a. k. a. Emily
(ginny@darkcastle.com)



Storybook Love - Part III



"Aha! Your pig fiance is too late!"

James and Lily had been running along the floor of the ravine for quite some time. Finally, they came upon a dark and dreary looking forest. At this point, James turned to Lily and said, "Don't worry, love. Just a few more steps and we'll be safe in this... er, impenetrable thicket."

"Thicket?" Lily repeated. "James, you act as if this is nothing new! This is the Forbidden Forest! Do you know what kind of creatures live in there? We'd never survive!"

James shrugged. "Nonsense! You're only saying that because no one ever has."

Lily clutched James' arm as the two entered the Forbidden Forest. The further they walked, the darker it got. Lily had a bad feeling about the place, but James was as confident as ever.

"You know," said James, "it's really not that bad."

Lily stared. "I suppose it could be worse." At least we haven't run into any werewolves, she thought, remembering all the tales she'd been told about the creatures that resided at this very location. James seemed to read her mind. "Oh, come on, Lily. Werewolves aren't all that bad, you know," he teased with a wink. "Besides, once we're through the forest, we'll be safe at Hogwarts castle. It's just on the other side." Lily nodded, but felt only slightly more at ease.

She took another step forward, and a curious popping noise was heard. But she didn't have time to react, or to even question what had caused the sound, for a great column of flames had shot up from the ground. Lily screamed as she noticed her skirt had caught on fire, but James quickly extinguished the fire.

Lily, unsuspecting of such an occurence within the forest, looked deeply shaken. She hugged James before letting him help her to her feet.

"Well," James laughed. "That was an adventure. Singed a bit, were you?"

Lily chuckled in spite of herself. "No. You?"

James shook his head. Taking Lily's hand, he guided her through a twisted maze of trees. Soon, there were so many tangled vines overhanging the path that they needed to be cut in order to proceed. James got out his wand and recited an incantation. Then, with a single movement of his wrist, the vine before him was sliced in half. He kept doing this as they walked.

"James," Lily said, finally getting up the courage.

"Yes?" James replied, cutting another vine.

"Forgive me for asking, but I must know. Everyone thought you were dead..." Lily bit her lip. She hated to relive the sorrow of those five long years, believing her beloved James had been murdered. "Where were you?" she asked in a whisper.

James paused. "You know of the Dread Pirate Roberts?"

Lily nodded.

"Well," James continued in a quiet tone, "when the Death Eaters came after me, I was able to get away from them before they could throw any deadly curses my way. But apparently, my escape alarmed them - Voldemort, after all, wanted me dead. He would not have been happy if his servants returned with any other such news." He grimaced, his voice angry and bitter once more, yet dangerously calm.

"They made it look like there had been a struggle," James said, "and lied about it afterwards. Voldemort was satisfied. But I was forced to go into hiding, Lily, because I knew they'd only come after me again if I suddenly reappeared without a scratch. I knew Voldemort would have been angrier than ever if I was still alive, and it would have put your life in danger. I simply couldn't bear the idea." He looked deep into Lily's eyes. "I'm so sorry for staying away."

Lily's pale face, normally with flushed, rosy cheeks, was now drained of its color. She looked extremely frightened. "Why would Voldemort want you dead?" she asked finally.

"I don't know, love," said James. It was the truth. "Maybe he wanted to do away with the last remaining Potter. Maybe I know too much - maybe I'm a threat to him. But whatever the reason, I just couldn't risk your life for mine. I had no choice."

James spoke in such a way that made it clear Lily would have to accept this. She nodded, not wanting to argue. Suddenly, she remembered something else.

"But what does all this have to do with the Dread Pirate Roberts?" she asked.

Oddly enough, James grinned. "I am the Dread Pirate Roberts."

Lily's jaw dropped. "What!?"

"I myself am often surprised at life's little quirks," James smiled. "You see, it was altogether hopeless, searching for a safe place to hide until things blew over. No place was safe from Voldemort; he'd know wherever I was. So I just kept running until I reached the sea. I secretly boarded one of the large ships once I knew where it was headed, disguised as a member of the crew; I was desperately hoping another idea would come to me - and that's when it happened."

"What happened?" asked Lily. "Go on."

"Well, we hadn't gone far when our ship was overtaken by another, and we were attacked by pirates. I came face to face with Roberts himself. He looked quite harmless, really; his face was almost kind - but of course I couldn't trust on his appearance, for I'd heard a great deal about him and knew he took no prisoners. I pleaded with him to let me live, telling him, 'I must return to my true love.' To my surprise, the man helped me up, gave me a pat on the back, and brought me aboard his ship.

"Eventually, Roberts and I became friends. Never once during those five years did I see him take another man's life. In fact, he never even made an attempt to rob another ship. You would have liked him, I think - not at all the pirate type. He was tall and thin, with bright red hair. About our age, maybe a little older... I think he went by the name of Arthur Weasley. Anyway, in front of his crew, he tried to act the part, but like I said, he wasn't at all fit to be a pirate. Too soft." James chuckled, and Lily's eyes widened in surprise. "In his cabin," James continued, "he revealed to me the secret he'd been keeping from his crew.

'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts,' he said. 'I inherited this ship from another man, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real Roberts either - his name was Cumberbun.'

You see, it's the name that's important for inspiring the necessary fear. Arthur hadn't made much money being a pirate, but he longed to return home and see his wife, Molly. So we returned ashore, took with us an entirely new crew, and he stayed on board for a while, calling me Roberts. Once the crew believed it too, he left to go back to his family. And I have been Roberts ever since." He bowed to Lily.

"However, now that we are together again, I shall retire and find a new Roberts to pass down the title to. Now, then. Does that clear everything up a bit?"

Lily took another step forward, opening her mouth to reply, but James never got to hear her answer. Lily had walked into a pit of quicksand. She vanished before James' very eyes.

"Lily!"



A/N: I'm sorry, that was a bad place to end the chapter =( Look for the next one soon!