*As the presenters of the last award bow and exit the stage, a warm applause follows them. The stage lights dim, then others fade in and highlight the area around the podium. On the huge screen behind, the familiar Tiny Toon Adventures logo appears.*

*The lone figure of a white rabbit walks in from stage right. He looks very debonaire and dignified in his black tux, scarlet tie, grey vest and tails. But as he comes into full light, he seems more somber and subdued, and those sitting closest to him can see pain behind his soft, almond-colored eyes.*

*As the applause stops, he does his best to smile.*

Thank you. Ladies and gentleman, it is truly and honor and a privilege to be hosting our next Pepe Awards - oh, I'm sorry... I meant the Ukie Awards."

*light laughter and applause as Peter's well-aimed ribbing hits its mark. From his seat close to the stage, Pepe smiles, blushes self-consciously, and waves to the crowd.*

Sorry, my friend. I couldn't help myself. Oh, and by the way - U-Haul just called. The semi you ordered for all your Ukie awards is waiting outside.

*More laughter and applause. Pepe is withering under the attack, and covers his face with his hand, chuckling.*

Anyway, the next group of awards is for Type of Fanfic.

Without stating too much of the obvious, we love the stories we do because we love the kinds of stories they are. They can appeal to not only our tastes in literature, but, to some extent, our psychological id...our outlook on life...or our dreams fulfilled. Tonight's awards will highlight those categories of stories that we have deemed our favorites. It is those works that we have taken to heart, and perhaps it is those works that we see a little of ourselves in.

Since love is perhaps the strongest emotion we feel, how appropriate it must seem that our first award involves just that, and the trials and triumphs that love puts us through. For Best Love Triangle Conflict, the nominees are:

*The screen behind the stage comes to life with title card images [and fanfic clips] of the stories named.*

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"*&*#BUSTER BUNNY!#$*&* WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!?!?!?!??!!?!"

Startled, Buster broke away from his passionate embrace, and tried to focus on where the voice had come from. A very furious Babs quickly came into view, pounding her fists, gnashing her teeth, and her fur had taken on a worrying shade of purple. He then looked to see just *WHO* he HAD been kissing... Emily sat back in the seat, almost floating, with a huge satisfied grin on her face. She fluttered her eyelashes at him and said, "Thank you Buster - that was REALLY nice! Did you enjoy it too?"

Buster did a double take, and pushed himself back into the seat. There was NO telling what Babs would do! Sweating profusely and panicking badly, he squeaked, "*BABS?!* *Cough!* That was... I thought... You were... Me and... Emily not... Kissed sister... Not you!"

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For the conflict involving Emily Bunny, Buster Bunny and Babs Bunny, "Rivals" by Kev Beeley.

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He trailed off into silence as he noticed Fifi was leaning in towards him again. He sniffed slightly and smelled a sweet scent, not at all the strong odor of a skunk's spray. His head moved slowly forward towards hers again, and he fought an internal battle.

His head stopped, his lips the merest fraction of an inch from hers. He pulled back, straining slightly, not knowing whether it was right or wrong, half wanting to take her into his arms and kiss her, half wanting to run away and hide.

"Fifi," he said, softly, "we can't do this.."

"Bustair," she replied, a whisper, almost inaudible, "I have had zese feeleengs for vous for a loong time. I just, 'ow vous say, dideen't know zat vous felt ze zame way aboout moi.."

His hand raised up and stroked her cheek. "Fifi, I don't know what I feel anymore. I've always been attracted to you.. I mean, who hasn't? But I.. I.."

"Vous what?" asked Fifi.

"I.. I love Babs, Fifi."

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For the conflict involving Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny and Fifi LaFume, "Oh, L'amour" by Matt Berman.

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"Ah remembair - he made all zee rabbettes swoon! Les Sigh!" cooed Fifi, her eyes glowing.

"Till they found out he was a skunk" Hamton added sourly. Hamton and Fifi glared at each other .

"And joost what does zat mean?!" Fifi said hotly.

After an awkward silence, Hamton said, "That's what happened in thecartoon", his face still cross.

"Zo! Ah thought *vous* deedn't believe een species stereotyping!" Fifi snapped angrily at him. The others stared as Hamton slowly stood up.

"I don't " he said bitterly, staring from under a lowered brow. Buster and Babs were shocked as Hamton pushed his lunch away and stalked to the door. His jaw trembled and he looked sadly back at Fifi. She burned red with anger and tossed her head to look away. His eyes brimming with tears, Hamton walked out, marching right over Elmyra, who squeaked as she was stepped on.

Wakko and Buster tried to eat quietly as Fifi angrily pouted. But Babs couldn't help herself. "What's the matter with you,Fifi? You know how sensitive Hamton is! Are you trying to make him jealous?! "

"Non!", Fifi stammered, "I...I dunno... I don't know anytheeng anymore!"

"Hamton was only telling you what happened in the cartoon" Wakko said gently.

Terribly confused , Fifi cried "Eetz not vat he said - Eetz *What* he said!" She slumped to the table, her lavender hair hiding her tears.

"Aww, Feef...." Babs said putting a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"...Vous are right,Babs...Ah must...see heem". The skunkette cried as she dashed out the door, trampling Plucky in the process.

"I've *never* seen them fight before" confided Buster.

"Yeah",Babs agreed,"They've reeeally got it bad for each other".

"Hey! What's with the sensuous skunkette? That's the second time today she's flattened me!" said the Pluckster as he staggered over.

"And that's the third time you've thrown her a mondo trasho, left- handed compliment, Duck-Toad!"

Everyone turned and was surprised to see Shirley standing with Dr.Lord at the door.

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For the conflict involving Fifi LaFume, Hamton Pig and Dr. Lord, "A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven" by Pepe K.

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_Two beaux!_ As many times as Fifi ran the notion through her mind, she still couldn't believe it. For nearly all of her dating life, boys always ended up running away from her. Now *two* suitors were competing for her affections!

But who to choose? What Hamton lacked in self-esteem and physique he made up for in sincerity, loyalty and trustworthiness. Hamton had always been very sweet to her, and he possessed that certain quality that made Fifi feel completely at ease whenever she was with him. Their friendship was always deep. But now, curiously, he finally - and suddenly - seemed to be asserting himself, as if to bring their relationship to a decidedly romantic level.

And then there was Philip... Ex-Perfecto transfer student and a recent addition to Acme Looniversity. Popular, handsome, a promising athlete, Philip Skunk found a home at the Loo. Most of the Acme girls wanted to call him theirs, but of all the girls there, only one French skunkette truly caught his eye. Fifi at once liked his soft-spoken, friendly demeanor. But as the ever-increasing amount of passed notes would attest, Fifi and Philip were starting to become more than just friends.

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For the conflict involving Philip Skunk, Fifi LaFume, and Hamton Pig, "All That Glitters" by Paul Zook.

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*ELMYRA: "Hah! It's no contest! It worked! My plan worked! Now Buster will hate me and fall madly in love with Elmyra!"

Suddenly, the long-dormant, logical part of Babs' brain springs to life.

*ELMYRA: "WHAT AM I DOING?!?! Buster's in mortal danger! I have to save him! I have to get out of this costume and revive him before it's too late! Before...."

Wild panic flowing through her body, Babs yanks furiously at the zipper of her Elmyra costume. Wouldn'tcha know it, the zipper breaks off in her hands.

*ELMYRA: "WHAT! This is no time for a cliche! I don't wanna be Elmyra forever!"

Throwing caution to the wind, she hurls herself through the penthouse window. Sharp glass shatters all around her, but the costume is well- built, and she is not harmed. *Babs seems upset that *Elmyra has interrupted her secluded soiree; Elmyra takes off her Babs costume. Now two Elmyras argue over the events of the evening.

ELMYRA: "You didn't let me finish him! That means you quit, so I win the bunny! He stays with me now."

*ELMYRA: "You were strangling him! We have to ask him to find out who he likes best. He won't answer if you send him to the nether regions!"

ELMYRA: "We don't have to ask him. Look at him! He only melted for you, but he passed out for me! That means he loves me more!"

*ELMYRA: "He didn't pass out because he loved you! He passed out because you cut off his oxygen supply!"

ELMYRA: "Love, oxygen, same difference! He can't live without me!"

*ELMYRA: "He can't live with you either!"

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And last, but not least, for the conflict involving Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, and Elmyra Duff, "Buster's Guide to Unconsummated Romance" by Nefaria.

*Light applause ends as the crowd waits for the winner. Peter pulls a cream- colored envelope out of his coat pocket and opens it. Reading it, he announces...*

For the Best Love Triangle Conflict in a Tiny Toon Fanfiction, the Ukie winner is "Rivals," by Kev Beeley!

*Thunderous applause erupts from the crowd as the recipient rises to his feet...*





Peter

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Howdo all!

Thanks very much for this award!  Rivals as a story is pretty old as fanfiction goes, and I'll admit that I've really been out of the TTA loop for a fair length of time now due to other commitments.  It is very flattering that people remember the story and the characters after all this time still!

Sorry for the delay in responding to this, but I've been unwell for a few weeks now, and haven't been in much of a position to do anything in general.

I trust that everyone is keeping well, and remember to keep TTA alive!

Again, thanks!

KeV

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*Warm applause. Peter returns to the podium.*

Without question, what separates the garden variety author from the truly stellar isn't just the use of proper spelling and punctuation, nor the clever placement of fancy words and poetic eloquence. More than anything else, it is the effective use of more than one storyline, to deepen a story's plot, broaden its opportunities for memorable character development, and - over all - to make it a more enjoyable story for the reader who indulges in it.

This is no easy task. When one considers the complexities involved in writing one, single plot line, one can give a better appreciation of the work involved in writing an effective piece involving two, three, or even more storylines. And this is especially true in those stories hosting a cast of many characters. It requires talent to keep the reader from being confused and distracted, a deepseated quality few writers possess.

Tonight's award honors that talented individual who has best made use of the multiple storyline, and who - above all others - has blessed us the readers with a fanfiction to be enjoyed now and for years to come. The nominees are:

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"YOUS CAN'T GET AWAY WI' DIS! DON'T YOU KNOW WHO YER TALKIN' TO??" Bugs yelled into his office phone. "I DON'T CARE IF IT'S GOOD FOR MARKETING, YOU CHANGE IT - RIGHT NOW OR HEADS WILL ROLL!!" Bugs slammed down the phone and turned to look sourly out his office window at the statues of himself and Daffy below.

"Is dis all woith it?!" he said aloud to himself, hanging his head. Frustration upon frustration ran through his head, till he shook them away, sitting at his desk. One thought remained...

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

The black duck's eyes spun with greed! "Thatths not a bad idea, you fffragrant fffrenchman you! But thince I have plenty of time to do everything I want - I firsst intend to return to my artisstic rootthzs - and and do thomthing I've been denying mythelf the pleasure of!"

"What might that be, praytell , D.D. - my loaded hero and mentor??" implored Plucky Duck.

"If you'll keep your drooling bill outta my bills -", Daffy said with disdain," I'll show ya!" He suddenly whipped the smaller green duck around to face him and in a moment - was running and hoo-hooing maniacally away with a bucket of black paint and a paintbrush. Plucky turned in astonishment, revealing a huge black painted mustache across his face.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

As the period ended, everyone began to file out for lunch. Wakko sat on Dr. Lord's desk, chatting happily.

"Ya know we finally had a show?"

"So I've seen", said Lord," That 'Draculee-Draculaa' episode was an insult to all vampires."

"Ah, the writers love us to be annoying little kids".

"Be careful", Lord cautioned, "don't get typecast".

Wakko sighed, "Yeah, I know. But-"

They both chorused in unison " -They can't all be gems!" and Wakko broke into peals of laughter.

Wakko hopped down. "Well, I'll see ya later, Doc."

Lord stopped him with serious concern. "Wakko...are you doing alright?"

Wakko shrugged it off " Oh, sure. Don't worry about me, Doc."

"Okay", Lord smiled," But please come and visit when you can".

"Sure" , said Wakko happily, "You bring the chisels and I'll bring my mallets."

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"A Time To Every Purpose Under Heaven" by Pepe K.

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"I'll let you know when we get there. But right now, let's go reshoot that segment."

"Ooh, a mystery. I like that. Oh, that reminds me, I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time. Just how did you get your hands on his credit card in the first place?"

Buster stopped just long enough to give her a sly look, and with a faint grin he said, "Don't ask. Believe me, you don't wanna know."

Babs thought there was more humor than serious warning in Buster's response, but she also knew that he meant it. "Okay," she said. "But I'm still gonna wonder."

"That's all right," said Buster seriously. "Maybe someday you'll find out."

"Now what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Babs. Nothing at all."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

"Buster, this isn't gonna be easy for me, or you. Be prepared for anything, understood?"

Buster nodded somberly. "I do. If anything comes up, I'll contact you."

"You do that. Well, I gotta go, kids. Good luck."

As Bugs left, Babs looked over at Buster and asked, "What did he mean when he said to be ready for anything?"

"Well, we might lose. We have to be prepared in case we do."

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"What's In A Name" by Kevin Mickel.

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"Buster's gone?" said Plucky, back at the Looniversity we know and love. "You mean, GONE gone? After all those years of praying..." said Plucky to himself.

"PLUCKY! He's your friend, and he needs our help! Think of everything he's done for you!" said Babs, practically frantic. "What if Elmyra's got him... or worse!"

"What could be worse than Elmyra?" asked Plucky. "Say! You don't suppose that Monty finally came up with some way to outsmart old blue ears, do you?"

"No way! Buster knows how to handle Montana Max! Why, Max couldn't trap a rabbit if he took lessons!" said Babs. "Come on, let's find Hamton and try to figure something out!"

Meanwhile, back in Acme Acres...

Just as the Chancellor prepared to bring his blade down on Babs with death, she seemed to explode in front of him. The explosion threw him backwards, and he hit the ground hard, knocking all the air from his lungs. It took him a few seconds to recover, and when he did, he was dismayed by what he saw. Whoever it was that he was about to kill was gone, and in her place was quite obviously the real Empress, and she was holding his blade.

"So, Chancellor," she said with contempt, "it is finally come to an end. Prepare to die, my old foe," and she started towards him menacingly.

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"Mondo Negatory Tiny Toons: The Other Side of Comedy" by Kevin Mickel, Mike Cote, Rebecca Littlehales, John Friedrich and Mike Demico.

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Yakko and Dot looked at each other.

"Aaaaaaaahhhhhh... remind me not to let him watch 'X-Files' next week."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

They arrived in Acme Acres late, where Babs and Buster Bunny-no relation, as they were quick to point out-- were eagerly waiting for them. Buster and Babs were about Yakko's age, maybe a little older, and looked like small incarnates of their mentor, Bugs Bunny, except that Babs' fur was a light pink, and Buster's was blue. Between them they held a colorful banner; "Welcome Yakko, Wakko and Dot-- the Warner Bros. and sister."

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And finally, "Out of the Tower and Out of Their Minds" by Karen Tindall.

And the winner is...

*Peter pulls the envelope out of his coat pocket, opens it, and reads.*

*chuckles*

For Best Use of Multiple Storylines, the Ukie goes to - you know the drill by now - Pepe K, for "A Time To Every Purpose Under Heaven!" Your turn again, my friend...

*Rousing cheers and applause as the tall skunk rises to his feet yet again to accept his award.*





Peter

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*Pepe K. rises with Mae Bear and Laika Romanov the Jerboa on his arms and they come onstage to the podium. He wears his orange smoking jacket and the two ladies look gorgeous - a study in opposites. Laika is devastating, wearing a tight black leather catsuit and high heeled boots. Mae is a sight to behold, her sequined white gown scarcely hiding her generous curves, her feathered headpiece and matching feather boa bouncing and flowing as much as she does. Around her neck she wears a necklace of large diamonds.*

Peter: Pepe, you remind me of another bunny I know.

Pepe K.: Who's that?

Peter: Hugh Hefner.

*The audience laughs as Pepe blushes, Mae smirks and Laika stiffens*

Laika: Ah! Da, you are for talking ov dat decadent Americanski who is capitaleest exploiter ov vimmen?

Mae: Well, I dunno about him being a capitalist exploiter - but he's definitely a decadent American - fortunately, so am I! ;)

*the audience breaks up laughing*

Pepe K.: Now Mae, this is a family show.

Mae:Heh heh! Fine with me, honey - but you're wiping out most 'a my material!

*more laughter*

Pepe K.: Well, anyway - I'd like to thank Peter for his nice comments and most of all - the readers who gave moi this award. Multiple plotlines happen cause life just is that way. Everybody has their own individual plot going all the time. All the people you've ever known that are still alive have their own lives all happening, all the time. Even our own main six

characters have things happening simultaneously. And here they are to tell us about it - Buster and Babs Bunny (soon to be related), Plucky and Shirley, and Hamton and Fifi!

*cheers as the three couples come to the podium. Babs is hopping all over, like she's overdosed on sugar again, Buster is happy, but looks a bit blue green in color,the two waterfowl are strangely quiet; smiling and hold each other fondly and Hamton is terribly excited. Only Fifi seems aloof and uncomfortable.*

Babs: We're Heeeeeeere!

Plucky: It's about time I was called onstage again!

Hamton: Hi Everybody!

Pepe K.: And what have you all been up to?

Babs: We were attacked by some crazy characters-

Buster: Nearly crashed Bugs' airplane-

Babs: Made an amazingly dangerous, but clever escape-

Buster:I got nauseous-

Hamton: We were in a wild dogfight-

Buster: I got more nauseous-

Plucky: We played Basketball and I scored-

Shirley: Like, I had an epiphany-

Fifi: Hey!.....Let'z not tell zem too much!

*they all look at each other and agree*

All six: RIGHT!

*they wave and return to their seats*

Pepe: You see, life goes on simultaneously everywhere.

Peter: Will we all see that happen in the next part of ATTEPUH?

Pepe K.: Uh..could be!

Laika: Is dees vat you are calling "Blatant Self-Promotion"?

Mae: That's what we call "a Commercial" on TV.

*the audience laughs*

Laika: (to Peter) I hear you are munitions expert?

Peter: Well, uhhhh ...I am a member of an artillary unit that uses black powder..uh  Civil War circa 1860's.

Laika: My country's civilain uprising waz suppress-ed. I am also weapons expert. (takes Peter's arm) Come! We talk together, yes?

Peter:(flattered and embarressed, but he takes the offer of the strikingly beautiful mouse-like girl) Umm, okay, but I'll have to make another announcement soon.

Laika: Wery vell, I come to get you at intermission, da?

Peter: Ah heh! Da! *Smiles*

Pepe K.: Goodness Mae, what lovely diamonds you're wearing!

Mae: Goodness had nuthin' ta do with it, honey. *smirks*

*the audience laughs*

Pepe K.: Well.heheh!..Ahem... Thanks everyone, very much for the award!

:)

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*The threesome exit the stage to the warm applause of the audience. Peter returns to the podium.*

Peter: Parody is another means by which authors can endear themselves to their readers. Not to be confused with the remake of a story (which is simply a retelling of an earlier work), parody is the oftentimes-comedic lampooning of one or more previous works, and it is also one of the most popular genres of fanfiction today.

But why is it so popular? The reasons may be as numerous as there are people, but I think it's pretty safe to say that we love parody because we love the souce material that parodies are derived from, and we love the playful way artists, writers and show people stretch the characters and situations to directions never possible in their serious, mainstream form. And quite frequently, we quickly find ourselves making a game out of recognizing what part of the story came from what movie, and looking forward to the fun that lies just around the corner.

*light applause*

Tonight's Ukie Award honors that talented, lighthearted individual who has taken the shows and movies we love, and transformed them into something entirely new and delightfully, if not hilariously, different. For Best Parody Story the nominees are:

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Not sure of what he should think of that advice, Sam tried to get up, and was surprised to find that he could. He figured that the fall should have broken every bone in his body, and yet all he felt was a little sore and uncomfortable. Shaking his head as Al suggested, he suddenly felt perfectly fine. Not normal, but fine. "Okay, Al," he asked tentatively, "what's going on?"

"First of all, have you looked down at yourself yet?"

Sam did, and instantly saw that he wasn't wearing any pants! All he had on was a pair of white gloves and a red sweater. Sam blushed as he attempted to cover himself with the sweater, and he wasn't very successful.

"Don't worry about it," said Al with a smirk. "No one will notice."

"Why not?" asked Sam with confusion. "I'm not in a nudist colony, am I?"

"No. You're in a cartoon."

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"Quantoon Leap" by Eric Gjovaag.

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The newspaper headlines were practically screaming off the pages, all over Acme Acres, (and the rest of Los Angeles County), was the news: PERFECTO PREP BURNED DOWN, ARSON SUSPECTED. This same headline Buster Bunny was reading, (basically because he couldn't hear the headlines screaming), through the glass of a newspaper vending machine located in front of the administration building of Acme Loo.

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"The Undiscovered Campus" by Zachary Zuwoulski.

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It was a trip that none of them would ever forget. A week's cruise to Europe, a three week's journey to Europe's most famous places, and now a week's cruise home, on the largest and most luxurious liner in all the world. But Acme Looniversity didn't send Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Shirley McLoon and Pluck Duck to Europe on a vacation. No, they were actually supposed to *learn* about the countries they studied in their European Cultures class, long, tedious reports notwithstanding upon their return to class! Still, to the foursome on board the R.M.S. _Titanic_ it was very much the vacation of a lifetime.

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"They Had Each Other" by Paul R. Zook

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"These toon flowers shouldn't exist anymore," Shirley

"He's right, that is Gertie!" Plucky knew all about Gertie. Heck anyone who knew anything about animation knew Gertie. The dinosaur had starred in one of the very first animated cartoons ever created. "But that's impossible," Plucky said remember the extensive work he and Shirley had been doing on the history of animation. "That cartoon was made in 1912! That's 80 years ago!"

Still, logical or not, Gertie was still there. Standing as high as a five story building. It was a marvel.

The toons jumped from the jeep. "How did you do this," Buster asked Max.

"I've found a way to bring back the great cartoon characters from the past. Toons that haven't been seen in decades. Even some toons that have never been seen before!"

"I know this is a dumb question," Babs said.

"Like that's ever stopped her before," Plucky chimed in.

"But why is he so big?"

"That's simple," Max explained. "He's a MOVIE toon. Us TV toons weren't made for the big screen. Movie toons really were BIGGER in their day. You think he's big, you should see how big the D-Rex is."

Plucky's eyes bulged. "D-Rex! You've got a D-Rex!" At which point Plucky fainted dead away. Shirley caught him before he hit the ground.

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"Jurrasick Duck" by David Hebert

and finally,

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On track Two's open-air platform at the back of the station, the Silver Smudge waited impatiently for passengers. Leading Buster's train was a pair of EMD-built 1500hp FP7 locomotives, arranged back-to-back in what railroaders call an AA arrangement. Behind them, ten shiny lightweight aluminum cars: one baggage car, three Pullman sleepers, one kitchen/diner, one full diner, two more Pullman sleepers, one coach, a Vista-dome lounge car, and rounding out the train, an observation car for a rear-train view. The interior of the Silver Smudge was comfy and new, and soft, indirect or recessed lighting the length of the train was easy on passengers' eyes. The walnut and stainless steel construction of the Pullman sleepers, and the complimenting forest-green paint, had a home-like feel somehow, as did the following dining cars. There, spotless white cloth tablecloths and shining silverware and dishes covered each small table, and as a final touch, fresh colorful flowers made for a very pleasant dining experience. The coach car sported deeply-upholstered coral-colored seats, which, along with the oversized windows, offered passengers an excellent view of passing scenery in a very comfortable seat. The lounge and observation cars, like the coach car, boasted mahogany and brass construction, forest-green carpeted floors, and dark coral paint, as well as ultra-comfortable black leather chairs and live green plants. All in all, the Silver Smudge promised a very relaxing and laid-back cross-country train trip.

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"Silver Smudge" again, by Paul R. Zook

*The audience draws in a collected breath as the white rabbit pulls out the cream-colored envelope. He opens it and reads.*

For Best Parody Story, the Ukie goes to Eric Gjovaag for "Quantoon Leap!"

*generous applause*





Peter

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[no reply given]

**************************************************************************** *******

*applause*

Another popular form of entertainment today is perhaps a very telling sign of our times. I refer mainly to the so-called reality-based shows, that seem to have the biggest showing on the Fox Television Network.

*general laughter and applause*

But why are these shows so popular? Perhaps it's because they pull so heavily on the voyueristic tendencies that are inside each and every of us. Through them we are allowed up close and personal veiws of train wrecks, car wrecks, crimes committed, and about every other impossible situation imaginable - all without leaving the comfort and security of our living room easy chairs.

But even away from the overly-sensationalized reality shows shown on television, we still can't get enough of gripping, well-written shows that are _based_ on reality. Here, I refer namely to shows like police dramas or medical dramas. How ironic it is that we watch t.v. to get away from the reality of our own lives, only to be reminded of it with shows like "NYPD Blues" or "ER." Yet watch them we do.

Maybe it's because we place ourselves in the stories we consume. Maybe it's because what happens to the characters in the stories also happened to us. Maybe it's because we ask ourselves what would we do if we were in the characters' situation. Whatever the reason, we toonsters love our true-to- life stories, and tonight's Ukie Award goes to that talented individual who has given us a chance to leave the reality that is our own lives, and provided us a window into a reality all its own.

For the category of Best True Life Story, the nominees are:

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Later - they held each other and took turns reading aloud the history text the Professor had given them to study. It concerned the battle of the first ironclad warships in the world. As the shadows of the afternoon lengthened, Fifi couldn't help but look outside to see if Lord was returning. There were just too many mysteries about him and not enough answers. Who was he? When did he know her? How did he command such powers? What terrible things might be happening to him in reality? Why so many secrets?

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"A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven" by Pepe K.

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As Fifi started to calm down, she twisted off a small piece of her croissant.

"Try to understand. We just want to be sure you know who you're going out on dates with, that's all."

"We've alreadee had deux dates, et he's been, how you say? A perfect gentlemon both times! Vous theenk zat I don't know what I'm doeeng?" asked Fifi warily.

"No, no, no, no, not at all," said Babs quickly. "When Philip first came here from Perfecto I was as skeptical as anyone as to what kind of a guy he was. You saw how cool I was towards him."

"Et vous learned about, how you say? His true colairs, no?"

"Yes, yes, I did," Babs said. "Even after Shirley's premonitions. I didn't think there was much in them, either. But now there's something you should know. Shirley might, um, have some information you should know."

"Ouuiiii?" Fifi said, slowly and cautiously.

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"All That Glitters" by Paul R. Zook

=============================================================

With that, they each pushed the red button on their reality transformers. It seemed to both of them that reality was melting away, and yet at the same time taking on a more definitive quality. After a few seconds of this, they found themselves standing on a live-action animator's desk. "Whoa," said Babs with amazement, "thirteensomething was nothing like this."

=============================================================

"What's in a Name?" by Kevin Mickel

=============================================================

The next day was graduation. Everyone showed up faithfully bright and early for practice. And later that day, the real event occurred. Each toon marched up one by one to receive their diplomas. The Looniversity and everyone involved celebrated their first graduates from the school. Soon, the Tiny Toons would be off to discover their own lives according to their dreams.

=============================================================

"Where Will I Be in Ten Years?" by Felicia Tabby

and finally,

=============================================================

"To all the other toons, I have taken your Bugs Bunny. I am holding him hostage. I-"

"We'll be alright, as long as he doesn't ask for a ransom," interrupted Plucky.

"I will release him on payment of one million dollars," continued Buster.

"Oh, great. Well, if heth in Acme Acreth, we'll find him," said Daffy.

"There is no point searching, as I am not holding him in Acme Acres. I am holding him outside your considerable reach. I am holding him in Reality," said Buster.

=============================================================

"Bugsnapped!" by Matt Bermann

And the winner is...

*Peter pulls out the envelope, opens it, and reads*

For Best True Life Story, the Ukie Award goes to Pepe K. for "A Time To Every Purpose Unto Heaven!"

*the audience goes hoarse from cheering as Pepe rises to his feet*





Peter

**************************************************************************** *******

*As he walks to the podium, everything suddenly goes into slow motion. Pepe K. has dreamed of this moment and everything wavers, as in a dream he sees himself - crossing up to the podium to stand with Peter*

Pepe K.: Thank you, Ladies and gentletoons, since this is the week of the Academy Awards, I'm reminded of the shortest acceptance speech ever given. The great Alfred HItchcock said exactly two words:..."Thank you." ...Well, I'm not Hitch - I never seem to be able to write anything briefly - a simple letter turns into three pages!...Now I could go on about the other good writers, like Peter here, who have inspired moi; Kevin Mickel who makes this all possible, and all the other writers and critics and all you readers out there who enjoy the TTA stories every month and who did the voting.   I could thank the original writers and directors of the Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies and TTA, who created the first filmed "True Life Stories" - like when Friz Freleng took Porky and Daffy's experiances into Reality and made "I Ought to Be In Pictures" - decades before anybody ever thought of Rodger Rabbit.

...I could thank my teachers and professors, I could thank my parents and friends and family too

....I could do all that, but the truth would really be that really only one person drew moi to all that I have written or done or said. A single person who found the interest in history and cartoons and all those things that go into it.  - And that's Moi.

..Perhaps to be an actor is to be selfish and a bit of a gypsy, but ya hafta at least be honest with yourself....

*Peter Bunny quietly walks offstage right*

Pepe K.(continues): Maybe I've hung around with Daffy too long, who knows.... but I'm the one who's penned this chronical...

...But this chronical is simply an account of what's happening in the Tooniverse. It's Fifi and Hamton's life.. and Dr. Lord's and the rest of the Toonsters, so I'd really like to thank *them* for sharing it all with moi-!

*A long stage hook sneaks out from stage right to grab the unsuspecting skunk and yank him offstage! As he gasps in amazement and flies through the air - the rippling lines return and his dream sequence ends.*

*Pepe K. finds himself standing at the podium, having dreamed it all in the past couple of seconds. He takes the UKE Award from Peter, smiling and bowing.

He stares at the hushed audience and pauses before leaning up to the microphone*

Pepe K.:.....Thank You.

*He smiles and shakes Peter's hand before waving to the applauding crowd and returning to his seat*

*Dr. Lord watches him and his strange knowing smile appears. Pepe K. shrugs and laughs to himself as he sits back in his theatre box.*

**************************************************************************** *******

*Something offstage catches Peter's attention. He looks, grins, and nods. From stage right, a light brown and white doe rabbit in a stunning black evening gown walks onstage. She is both beautiful and elegant in the dress, which is sleeveless, deeply-slit on both sides, and shimmers in the spotlight shown upon her. Not surpisingly, she is met with a chorus of hoots and wolf-whistles from the males in attendance. As she walks, however, she merely turns her head and smiles demurely in response. The girl whispers something to Peter, which causes him to laugh.*

Peter:      Ladies and gentletoons, before we go on my lovely friend April has informed me that the cast and crew of Pepe's epic has a gift for him that they'd like to present.

*The girl gives a signal to someone offstage, and after a short pause, Fifi and Hamton both use a rope each to pull a chair onstage. The audience gives a collective chuckle as they watch the proceedings. The chair sits on a dolly, and is a guilded, magnificent piece of work. Suddenly everyone - and especially Pepe and Dr. Lord - immediately recognize the chair as the same one that Fifi sat on in ATTEPUH, in the scene in Lord's underground "warehouse." Once the chair is wheeled near the podium, Peter steps back next to April and Fifi and Hamton step up to the podium.*

Hamton (grinning nervously):        Uh... Pepe, since this seems to be _your_ evening, we of the cast and crew thought that you deserved a more comfortable seat nearer the stage...

Fifi (interrupting):        Zo vous don't 'ave to conteenuouslee walk all zee way up to zee stage to accept your awards.

*The audience howls in laughter and applauds. Pepe, taken completely off guard, turns beet red, but graciously laughs and waves to the audience.*

Fifi:       Eezn't zhat nice?

*After a short pause Fifi and Hamton now step back to join April as a still- chuckling Peter resumes the show.*

Peter:      When H.G. Wells wrote "The Time Machine" in the 1890s, I'm sure he had no idea of how immensely popular the notion of time travel would become in people's imaginations. The spark of this one man's book turned into a fire of entertainment, from the science fiction radio shows of the 1940s and '50s, to movies like the "Back to the Future" trilogy of the 1980s and early 90s, to television shows like the 90s' "Quantum Leap," and everything in between - all dealing with man's (and woman's) attempt to successfully go back in time, to escape...to profit...or to right past wrongs.

But as with anything as profound and complex as time travel, it requires skill and a painstaking eye for detail to to properly set a scene or build a story, and then place them against the overall background of a very- unforgiving history. The writer and director alike must be faithful and true to the history they portary, lest they do a great diservice to the memory and honor of those who went before them. They also must be consistent and thorough, lest their storylines break down under the corrosive effect of plot holes and contradictions.

To be able to effectively and properly use history and time is no easy effort indeed, and tonight's Ukie Award not only honors that fanfiction that has become the rule against which other time-traveling stories must size up to, but that conscientious author who has effortlessly risen to the task as well.

For Best Time-Involved Fanfiction, the nominees are:

=============================================================

"Well, now that we're all here, I'll explain what we're going to be doing" began Lord. "You have all been personally selected by myself and the faculty to participate in History 3000. This course will be the most difficult and challenging one in your lives. It will be both extremely dangerous and extremely rewarding. We'll be studying the important points in history and then living them in the past. So study hard - your lives may depend upon it." The class collectively gulped and Plucky raised a wing.

"You mean we're gonna travel through time and we could get killed?! I'm outta here!"

=============================================================

"A Time To Every Purpose Under Heaven" by Pepe K

=============================================================

Alez turned to the crowd of Creations. "Cover them. If they move, take them." Bugs looked at Alez, and noticed how different he was. His fur, instead of being grey like it should be, was jet black. His eyes burned like fire. Alez turned back to Bugs. "Well, Bugsy. Look what you did to me. I have been living in another space and time, for fifty years."

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

"Shortly after that, Alez and his army burst into both of our universes simultaneously. He turned us against ourselves, and I was killed. Fortunately I was resurrected, and I travelled back in time to stop Alez from joining with the original Creation, thus stopping the whole chain of events at its source. Apparently, I didn't succeed. A part of Alez survived, and managed to manipulate Bugs into travelling back in time and saving his life. However, Bugs didn't succeed, and only managed to get Alez trapped in the barrier again.

"He's remained in there for the past hundred years, unable to escape without the strength of the Creation to assist him. However, the sectra barrier has strange properties, and he has been growing stronger. The worst thing is that Alez has gained the power to manipulate History itself. We believe that Alez will soon escape from the barrier and attempt to conquer, or destroy, both of our universes. And he has History as a weapon, the most awesome weapon imaginable."

=============================================================

the "Bugsnapped!" series by Matt  Bermann

=============================================================

At first, the cave was just a tunnel, but eventually it opened up to a great cavern. In the cavern, was Calamity, pressing buttons on a huge machine. Buster's jaw dropped. "Wha.. what the heck is this?" he asked.

"This, my good man, is a time machine." replied Plucky, smugly. "I'll let Calamity explain."

Calamity frowned at Plucky, took out a piece of paper and a pen, and started scribbling. After a few moments, he handed the paper to Buster.

Buster squinted at the messy writing. He began reading. "This is my greatest achievement, the All-purpose-flux-induced-space-time-fusion- particle- hyper-reality-time-shifter. In laymen's terms, a time machine. This device can transport you anywhere, and anywhen, thanks to the antenna attached to the tree directly above this cavern."

As if on cue, Calamity pointed straight up, at a wire poking through the roof of the cavern. Buster continued reading. "This unit draws it's power entirely from water, so is extremely economical to run."

Plucky opened a flap on the device, and pulled out a pizza. "It also cooks a fine pizza!" he added. Calamity slapped his forehead.

=============================================================

"A Rabbit Out of Time" also by Matt Bermann

=============================================================

Al punched a few buttons on his handlink. "Your name is Buster Bunny. You live in a place called Acme Ache..." Al looked annoyed for a moment and gave his handlink a firm whack, causing it to whine in protest. "Acme Acres," he corrected, "and you are the star of a show called 'The Buster Bunny Show.'"

"Never heard of it. So what am I supposed to do?"

"Ziggy's still running a few scenarios, but it looks like you're here to keep the show on the air."

"Why? What happened?"

"It ran for just a few weeks in 1990 -- oh yeah, today's June18th of that year -- and then it was canceled. It just vanished from the airwaves, and nobody seemed to miss it."

=============================================================

"Quantoon Leap" by Eric Gjovaag

and finally,

=============================================================

"I don't think you should do this, Buster," cautioned Babs, looking nervous. "Time travel never brings anything good about. You never saw Back to the Future?"

Buster ignored her. "I'll be fine. I'm not going to rest until I've seen every Bugs Bunny short ever."

Babs shook her head as Buster activated the time machine and disappeared. "No good will come of this.."

=============================================================

"Bugsis" by Plucky Warner

For Best Time-Involved Fanfiction the winner is...

*Peter draws the envelope out of his coat and opens it. Grinning broadly*

Peter:       Pepe K, for "A Time To Every Purpose Under Heaven!"

*The audience cheers as warmly as before, then laughs as Peter gets behind the wheeled chair and pushes it closer to the podium, offering it.*





Peter

**************************************************************************** *******

*Pepe K. and Dr. Lord are joined onstage at the podium by Andy Fox*

Pepe K.: Well, thank you again, Peter, for that most embarrassing introduction. ;) Yes, skunks can blush. But seriously folks, thank you very much for this treasured...uh...Do these UKE Awards have nicknames like "Oscar" or "Emmy" or "Cleo"?

Peter: Oh, gee...I dunno. Nobody's asked before.

Lord: How about "Toonies"?

Andy Fox: Hmmmm... The "UKEies" sounds like something they award ukelele players - like Tiny Tim.

*audience chuckles*

Pepe K.: Well, whatever they're called, I appreciate the compliment very much. This one involves Time Travel, so I think I'll let those directly involved explain. Doctor?

*goes to sit in the throne that Fifi and Hamton provided.*

Dr. Lord: Hmm.. So much has been done in the area of Time Travel, but without sufficient safeguards. That's what sets my system of travel apart from others. All previous devices have simply allowed the travelers to go somewhere in the past, where they actually interact with persons there. Now, considering the possiblities of paradoxes in time - this makes for a great deal of danger to the future.

A. Fox: Yes. For instance, suppose I build a machine that enables me to go back in time and meet my own great grandfather. Suppose I then say or do something that changes him or his life in some slight way - then that would be an influence on the future. Suppose the change prevents my grandfather from being born or born in a differant place or time? The changes would continue exponentially - and I might not even be born at all - in which case - how could I build a Time Machine in the first place?

Dr. Lord: Exactly! Suppose a Time Traveler finds himself in the Pre- historic Age and unthinkingly swats a butterfly. As a result - there migh not be any butterflies in our time. This is why in my system, the Toonsters and I will actually be "Hosted" by persons who were in existance at that time and place. That way, we'll watch history happen as it did then, with little danger of interferance from us. We'll feel their thoughts and emotions just exactly as they did, subsequently learning *precisely* what was happening.

A.Fox: Uhh.. since you are venturing into the US Civil War - won't that be dangerous?

Dr. Lord: Admittedly, yes. It could be, if something were to go wrong and a member of the group becomes separated from us - they would be lost in Time. But I won't allow that to happen. At the beginning and at the ending of each journey, we'll slip slightly out of time-synch with our hosts and come under our own control for a short time. It is then that I propose to recover things that otherwise would have been lost for all time.

Peter: Now.. you're going back to 1862, I believe?

Dr. Lord: We'll start in 1861 at the Burning of Norfolk, where it all began and then live through most of 1862, till New Year's Eve.

Peter: There was alot of action in the War Between the States that year - dangerous gambles made, desperate action and awful destruction.

Pepe K.:(getting up) Yes, there was.

Dr. Lord: There were also amazing acts of heroism and courage in the face of Death.

Pepe K.: Uh... yeah.. And you're gonna be assisting moi in the hopes of perfect historical accuracy, aren't you Peter?

Peter: Yeah.. I just kinda wonder how the Toonsters will all look in their blue uniforms..

Dr. Lord: Well, I'll tell you now that they'll also be in Confederate grey as well. We'll be seeing a balance of both Union and Rebel viewpoints.

Peter: You mean, we'll see them actually fighting *each other* ??

Dr. Lord: Yes. They'll be on both the CSS VIRGINIA (or MERRIMACK as everyone called her) and the USS MONITOR and warships of the Union Navy. You're in for some real battles!

A.Fox: But first, they'll be going on a field trip... to Reality, you said?

Dr. Lord: Yes, they'll have to get used to being there if they're to do any operations back in time. We'll be going to a place I know of.

A. Fox:...And... you're not going to say where?

Dr. Lord: (smiles in his way) ..No. *looks at Pepe K.*  You' know, I hate to quote Archie Bunker, but... Get outta my chair!

Pepe K.: (hops to his feet) Oh! Sorry!

Dr. Lord: And take it backstage immediately.

Pepe K.: Yes, Sir! (scurries around to push the chair backstage) Uh...

Dr. Lord: ...Now what is it?

Pepe K. :(to the audience) Uhhh.. thanks very much again for the award!

Dr. Lord: That's enough! Shoo!

Pepe K.: (hurriedly pushing the chair offstage on it's dolly) Yes, Doctor! Yes, yes!

Dr. Lord: (to the others) It's so hard to find good help these days!

*there's a loud thump and a yelp from backstage*

Dr. Lord: (exasperated) Pepe, now what have you done?

Pepe K.: (from offstage)...I uh.. stepped on my own tail.

A.Fox: I see what you mean.

Dr. Lord: Thank you everyone!

* He and the Fox wave and return to their seats.  Peter starts to continue the awards ceramony, only to have Pepe K. scurry back out, nearly knocking him over in the process as he scampers back to his theatre box.*

:)

Pepe

**************************************************************************** *******

Quite unexpectedly, Kevin leaps to his feet and charges up to the podium.

"Hold it, hold it!  Wait just a moment there, I sense that a slightly less than accurate statement has been made.  To quote it...

"Dr. Lord: Hmm.. So much has been done in the area of Time Travel, but without sufficient safeguards. That's what sets my system of travel apart from others. All previous devices have simply allowed the travelers to go somewhere in the past, where they actually interact with persons there."

"*All*" previous devices?  Are you sure about that?  What about Dr Sam Beckett's Quantum Accellerator in Quantam Leap?  That was very similar to the sustem you have described here, and because of Quantoon Leap, it is a part of the TTAFF universe, sort of.   And as far as *all* previous devices *simply* allowing travellers to go to the past, well, what of the orginal Time Machine in HG Welles, The Time Machine?  He used that to visit, the *future.*  And then, what of that ultimate time travel decive, the TARDIS, as bult by the Time Lords on the Planet of Gallifrey?  Not only does it allow you to visit the past or the future, it allows you to do so on any planet in the known universe, and some that even aren't.  (Like E pace.)  And, since the 5th Doctor did use it to visit the Toonsters in A Doc in the Quarks, then the TARDIS is part of the the TTAFF universe.  Granted, there are certain limits to where a TARDIS can and can not go, but that's the subject for a differnt forum altogether.  Anyway, I just thought it would be important to set the record straight on this time travel machine stuff.  Or at least, I guess it was."

Looking somewhat confused, Kevin returns to his seat and waits for the program to continue towards its conclusion.

Kevin

**************************************************************************** *******

Dr.Lord: Yes, all previous devices. I was refering to the system of safeguarding against paradoxes in Time.

     Yes, Dr. Sam Beckett did use a system where he inhabited the person's body - but he was in full control of them and was making all the replies from his own mind. This enabled him to change the history of people's lives - a very unwise thing to do. For if one small thing is changed in someone's past - all their future would be effected. We are, after all, the result of our pasts. If something changes that - then the possible future for us would be differant - un-making us who we are. Interfereing with the past can destroy the present and certainly the future.

    My system was specifically designed not to do that. We shall be "hosted" and share the knowledge of our hosts - but *they* are in control and are unaware of us. We watch and hear and experiance and feel with them. We do not influence or change them in this way. This is why it is differant from the other systems, which are too risky in my way of thinking.

    In Star Trek's "The City on the Edge of Forever", Dr.Mcoy's simple act of pulling Edith Keeler out of a truck's path changed ALL of history and destroyed the future. Those risks are too great to gamble on.

    My Time / Dimensional Displacement Aparatis is specifically geared for travel into the past. The Future is being formed by the Present, at present. So - if you really want to alter Time in your own life - do it now, in the Present - and make your Future the way you want it to be. Any questions?

:)

DL

**************************************************************************** *******

      Yeah, you didn't address the Doctor, Doc. About the TARDIS? Or is that just on tv. But then, so are Star Trek & Quantum Leap. So I guess the Doctor deserves as serious consideration. (Altho he is a Time Lord, so maybe that changes the whole bit)

      Nathaniel T. Freeman

**************************************************************************** *******

DL: The Doctor also fully interacted with those he came in contact with and risked changing history as well. It all comes down to being careful and responcible about one's actions because of the possible repercussions. If a Time Traveler is simply "going out to see what the Future or the past is like" - he's risking changing himself and everything else as well.

Occassionally when it wasn't broken, the Tardis could go where it was asked to go, but most often - (in the days of Tom Baker) it went wherever and whenever at random and that's extremely risky. Is it just TV? ..That's up to you. ;)

DL

**************************************************************************** *******

Dr. Lord: Thank you everyone!



* He and the Fox wave and return to their seats.  Peter starts to continue the awards ceramony, only to have Pepe K. scurry back out, nearly knocking him over in the process as he scampers back to his theatre box.*

*Fifi, Hamton and April all share a small laugh as Peter quickly and awkwardly tries to regain composure. He tries to play it off, but hearing the chuckling of the audience, he can't help but grin sheepishly.*

Peter:      Must've been in a hurry to catch a Ukie...

*Light laughter as Hamton and Fifi exit the stage*

Peter:      Our next Ukie Award celebrates a rather unique genre of fanficion, that of the "class project." And to help explain it a little better, I now present to you Mr. Nathanial T. Freeman.

*generous applause comes from the audience as Nate rises, then makes his way to the stage. Peter takes a step back to join April and Nate takes his place at the podium.*

Nate:       Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Well, it seemed to me that there were fics that took the form of class projects. "Showdown" was the most upfront about it. Think about it - could Calamity've really cooperated with all those Disney toons in bringing Pinky and the Brain to justice? And, Herr Zook, I'm sure you'd know whether or not you intended for Buster and Babs to really meet for the first time on the Silver Smudge (and in my opinion there was just as much reason for "They Had Each Other" to be nominated). "Snow Loon" is another example. As to the others, my guess would be those who nominated those fics saw the plots thereof hanging on things that occurred in class; Fifi's chem project in "Scent-Cement Reason," the Take-o-Prompter in "Gone With the Whim." That sorta thing.

Peter:      Well, thanks, Nate. I'm sure you explained that far better than I ever could.

*The audience chuckles*

Nate:       My pleasure.

April:      For Best Class Project Story, the nominees are:

=============================================================

As far as bright, sunny days in Acme Acres went, this particular day was not one of them. A few dark clouds loomed on the horizon; however, the students of Acme Looniversity gave them no thought. They had other things on their collective minds. Getting through their junior year in one piece, for one thing. Making it through "Wild Takes 101," for another. They knew that if they failed this class, they might just as well look for work at DiC. Or even worse...Filmation!

"Today, class, we're gonna review what many feel to be the mostimportant part of toondom," Prof. Bugs Bunny began

=============================================================

"Gone with the Whim" by Jerry D. Withers

=============================================================

"Oh. Okay. Well, here's your room. If there's anything you need, you can buzz me with that red button next to the window."

"Thanks, uh, uhh..." tried Buster as he reached into his furpants pocket.

"Plucky Duck," the avian smiled.

"Well, thanks, Plucky. Here," Buster said, extending his hand. In it were three one dollar bills. "Call me Buster."

=============================================================

"Silver Smudge" by Paul R. Zook

=============================================================

DARKWING

Where's he going?

Darkwing looks to Calamity. Calamity shrugs.

DARKWING

Do you ever talk!? Not one word. Not a

Single solitary word...what a ya mute!?

Calamity holds up a bumper sticker saying "The less I talk the smarter people think I am."

=============================================================

"Copyrats" by Jason "Oschindler" Bretz

=============================================================

The pig holds the packet, and notices that, despite its small size, it's very heavy; he shakes it next to his ear, but doesn't hear anything. Fifi takes it and shreds the paper.

"Zis, Hamton, is a sample of the material zat the DC Comics personnel uses to make Clayface in the Batman stories!" She shows Hamton the contents of the box - a light-beige bar of modelling clay, about the size of a VHS tape. Hamton still looks confused.

"It's tres simple, mon amour. 'Ave vous seen zat animation where ze animators use little clay dolls as characters? Zey shape the character with clay, zey take a picture, and zey reshape the character in ze next pose, and take another picture, and so on?"

"Oh, yeah, Fifi! Of course! So you'll make a cartoon in that style, then? But how will this stuff be helpful?"

"I will mix zis sample of clay with gypsum and conventional clay from Acme, to make a paste zat we can use on ourselves to do zat type of animation in real-time!"

"Cool, Fifi! Let's do it!"

=============================================================

"Scent-Cement Reason" by Leandro M. Pinto

and

=============================================================

Once upon a time, in a land called Acme, there lived a beautiful Loon and an evil Vice Principal. Our story opens in Acme Loo in the Vice Principal's office. . .

"Mirror, Mirror, on the chair, who's the fairest in thy lair?" asked Vice Principal Elmyra.

"There is one more beautiful than thee. With hair the color of grain, beak the color of the evening sun, and feathers the color of Snow," said the mirror(Buster).

"Snow Loon! She MUST be killed." Being with that, the VP calls for the best hunter.

"Eh, another bit part. Another day, another carrot," said Buster.

=============================================================

"Snow Loon" by Colin Feder.

And the winner for For Best Class Project Story, the Ukie goes to...

*Peter reaches into his pocket, draws out the last envelope, and hands it to the girl who in turn opens and reads it.*

"Gone with the Whim" by Jerry D. Withers! Yay!

*Great applause fills the room as Jerry rises to accept his award.*

(apologizing in advance for a lame presentation on an award he still has absolutely no idea about,)





Peter

**************************************************************************** *******

Once the audience quiets down again, Bear continues with the presentations.  "Next up is Most unique use of scenery in a fanfic."

"Stop right there." A suited figure shouts, interrupting the proceedings

"Uh-That is-Once I get back to the stage." Bear says, burrowing into the ground once again.



From stage left, a middle-aged guy in glasses, spoting a full salt-and- pepper beard, his hat covering a bad hair day, approaches the podium.

Jerry: Gee, thanks, folks! I'm glad to know that after all this time, something as loopy as "Gone With The Whim" still makes enough of an impression on folks. (From off stage, he sees a werekitty waving at him, holding a large carton of chocolate milk and a tuna fish hoagie.) I'll have to cut this short, folks... beauty calls! (Werekitty sees him, screams, and runs off who knows where, with our winner in lukewarm pursuit :) )

Lionel Carrotte: Wot was all *that* about?

Nigel Carrotte: It was about wasting a minute of time, as far as I'm concerned.

grin

Thanks, folks.

The guy in the hat,

Jerry.

**************************************************************************** *******

Backstage, Leloni slaps her hand to her head.  "Oh for goodness sakes, who let that Werecat in here?!  I hired Arnold to _guard_ the stage not let every Tom Dick and Scary who comes along on it."

'Loopy' Jerry calls his story, humph!  That happens to be the very first TTA Fanfic I ever read.  And it holds a special place within the deep muscly blod vessels of my little heart. :P

All deep emotional gushing aside, Leloni goes flying across the stage after the werekitty.

"Don't hurt him!  He's a great writer!"

As Leloni's powderpuff tail disappears behind the opposite curtain, the Carrotte trio are left to wondering again.  Lizzy turns to her brothers. "Wot was _that_ all about?"

"Don't look at us, Liz," Leo replies smugly, "She's _YOUR_ cousin!"

Leloni Bunny

**************************************************************************** *******

   I dunno; my money would be on the Furrster himself. And would even Arnold want to tangle with a WERE-cat? (did I mention I was a teenage werewolf?)

**************************************************************************** *******

      Well, the very first TTA Fanfic I ever read was A Reluctant Toon by Bryan 'Wilford B. Wolf' Chaney. But already I ramble. But y'all're used to it.

      Nathaniel T. Freeman

**************************************************************************** *******

      Don't hurt HIM? Who's chasing whom here? Altho the argument could be made that she was baiting him with the foodstuffs; she knows what he likes.

**************************************************************************** *******

::hiding behind the snack bar:: That's what I get for bringing a lunch.

::sighs, peeks, EEEEPS, and runs for it again:: Gee, I didn't think I was his type...

Werekitty

**************************************************************************** *******

Furrb stops, catches his breath, reaches in his shirt pocket and consults his checklist. "Hmmm... female... breathing... sounds like my type to me..." :)

Meow.

Furrball ;)

The Colonel (Graham Chapman) interrupts at this point. "Stop this. It's getting too silly."

**************************************************************************** *******

::listens to THIS interwesting piece of information, and does an impromtu imatation of the little-heard-from HB character Baboo (the aprintice genie)::

Maaaaan. He is so PICK-key! ::notices that Jerry's catching up with her::

Gee, I always wondered what Penelope felt like... ::does a spinning-foot exit take outta there::

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::she THEN skids to a stop, getting a brilliant inspiration. She rushes back into the audience looking for a famious lavendar bunny. Having located her, back in her seat, the werekitty rushes up to her:: Hiya, Lellie. ::pulls the startled rabbitfemme to her feet, hands her a grilled tuna hoagie, and a carten of chocolate milk, and faces her in the direction of Jerry's projected trajectory:: Just call me a matchmaker. After all YOU're the one who thinks he's cute. Bye-eye! ::ZOOMS off in a cloud of smoke::

To quote an equally famious GRAY bunny:

"Aint I a stinker?"

The Incredible Werekitty

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Although it's been said, many times, many ways...

*OUCH!!* ;D

The indelible Furrball.