The stage lights dim to a dark indigo color. A silent audience awaits the beginning of the next section of UKE awards. An echo of drifting water fills the auditorium. Slowly the audience begins to feel the presence of the ocean. Even the high-flying cry of seagulls is pumped through the speaker system.

A spotlight fades into view in the center of the stage. Also into view comes a group of people crouching down on the stage. They are arranged in three lines - six dances to each row. Another gull gives a cry, cueing the first row to rise to their feet.

Hawaiian drum beats arise from somewhere in the Looney Tunes orchestra. In very even, wave-like, motions the first row launches into a dance. Three sets of men/women couples twist, twirl and bounce about the stage like a playful ocean wave.

Each dancer's head is adorned with a wreath of water lilies. Around each neck dangles a whitish-blue colored lei. The women wear strapless wrap dresses that split at mid-thigh in front and come back together in a petal shape below the back of the knee. The men wear Bermuda shorts. Both sets of outfits are a soft blue in color.

Percussions pick up to join the drums. The second row also picks up to join the first row. They are also three couples of men/women. Their outfits match the first row's as well. Yet, the second row of dancers wear a medium blue color in their clothing. They ignite a faster tempo into the group. Together the group spin and leap around like dancing waves on the ocean's tide.

String instruments join the music. The third row of dancers ascends to join the first two. Their outfits are a very dark blue color.

Gone are the gentle playful even waves. The ocean is angry!

Dances leap and spin around each other as the wicked waves that toy with an unlucky sailor's ship. Cymbals clash at every leap. Tension is rising. Music is building! Something is coming!

A brilliant white spotlight shines down just behind the frenzied dancers. Their forms are lost into shadow as they continue to act as the ocean's waves.

Someone in the orchestra begins a steady base drum beat. A chorus of Barnyard Hens (led by Foghorn Leghorn of course) breaks into an operatic squall.

Faster and faster moves the native rhythms. Higher and more furious becomes the dance of the waves.

Something behind the group slowly rises up towards the spotlight. As it does, the dances move to each side as if parting the waters for the object. Eventually, its full form becomes clear -a giant clam shell!

Tensions rise even higher once the clam shell begins to open. The spotlight shines too brightly for any color but white to be seen on the shell. So it is difficult to tell what is inside the shell until it is open fully.

The dancers assemble around the shell. Their arms are held out as if to embrace something.

As the drums and chorus reach their climax, a form gingerly arises within the shell. The form's back is towards the audience. Yet they can still see a thick crop of curly hair cascading over its shoulders. It stretches its arms out to each side, slowly moving them upwards towards the light.

The base drum and Barnyard Hen chorus reach their limit. Their roles end. The native-like music also stops. Silence overtakes the auditorium.

Suddenly, the form drops its arms and whirls to face the audience. At that same instant, all stage lights cut out. Everything is plunged into darkness.

Two seconds later, the stage lights return, illuminating the stage normally.

Now everyone can see the clam shell's occupant clearly. Two long bunny ears peek out from under a curly blonde wig. A lavender and white bunny face smiles at the crowd.

"You were expecting maybe Alexandra Tydings?" quips none other then Leloni Bunny.



Alexandra Tydings: Actress who plays Aphrodite on the Hercules/Xena series.

Leloni rises and walks out of the clam shell. The wig and lace jacket she was wearing slip off and fall back into the shell bed.

What remains of her attire is a snow white spaghetti strapped gown. The gown conforms to her body contours all the way down to just below her hips. From there to the floor, it

swells out into a full fluffy bell-shape. As she walks, there is a slight glimmer of a very pale ice blue coloring shadowed on the gown.

She reaches the podium and addresses the audience. "Good news, gang! We're almost to the end!"

Leloni is forced to cling to the podium as a mighty cheer echoes through the audience. She's got all she can do to keep from being blown back across the stage! How the podium

keeps from being moved is beyond anyone's guess. That's toon physics for ya, folks!

Once the cheering dies down, Leloni continues.

"They say that there is no better place for the imagination to run free than in a dream. For where else, but in a dream can the wildest things happen? Dreams can be anything from

making you relive your worst nightmare over and over again to allowing you to fulfill your deepest desires. Sometimes -especially in Shirley's case - dreams can give you a preview of the future.

With that in mind, our next award honors the use of dreams within TTA Fanfiction.

For 'Best Dream', the nominees are;

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Fifi wandered across downtown Acme Acres at midnight. All the stores were closed, with all their lights out. The only lights in the entire city were the street lamps at the intersections of the streets. An eerie silence seemed to cover the entire city. Fifi felt cold, afraid, and alone as she wandered the streets. She wondered why she even left her home to walk through the streets.

Fifi then heard the sounds of whispering within the town. The sounds seemed to emit from all over the city. Fifi could not understand what the voices were saying. She did notice that they seemed to repeat the same thing over and over again.

"Bonjour?" Fifi called out.

The whispers still continued their chant.

"You hear them, don't you." a high pitched voice said behind Fifi.

Fifi turned around to face the voice. But she found no one there. "Whose zere?!" Fifi demanded.

"No one is here except you." the voice said.

"Who's zere?! Show vour self!" Fifi demanded.

Fifi then noticed some movement within her own shadow. Slowly a figure rose from the darkness of her shadow. The figure seemed to slowly float to the surface. When he was completely out of Fifi's shadow, he stood before Fifi with crossed arms. It was the Prankster.

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Fifi's nightmares in Prankster 2 By Mike. M.

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Anti-Shirley felt a thud deep inside her, and her eyelids sprang open, expecting to see the cramped but familiar quarters of her resistance bunkroom. But instead she was surrounded by a pitch black emptiness which was only broken by an image of herself floating in space.

The image was grinning widely. "Hey, so you're Anti-Me? Like, pleased to meet ya, or whatever," Shirley spoke with reverence, "Hmm, Anti- Me looks just like Me, so I guess I'm more centered than I suspected! I must be totally cosmically balanced or some junk."

Anti-Shirley just stared at her with her mouth hanging wide open, then she pushed it shut. "You're a ghost, right? No, that can't be, you must just be a bad dream, no such thing as ghosts, nosiree. I would have seen a vengeful ghost kill the Chancellor by now if there were."

Shirley watched her with puzzlement, "I guess Anti-Me is a little mondo-earthbound, sigh. It'll be tough getting through to her if she thinks I'm a dream."

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AZ Shirley's "dream" in 'Mondo Negatory Tiny Toons: The Other Side Of Comedy' By Kevin Mickel, Mike Cote, Rebecca Littlehales, John Friedrich and Mike Demico.

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Time passes, weeks stretch into months, and the restless bunnies have nothing to do except fulfill Elmyra's wishes. After a little practice, they quickly get the hang of things, and they soon become the proud parents of four charming (?) little rugrats. Stevie is their firstborn, and they fawn and coo over him so much that he gets a severe ego problem. Next comes Jenny, who decides to divert her mom and dad's attention away from Stevie by doing all sorts of inspired jokes at their expense. Jody follows, a very sweet little guy who treats his parents with great affection, even though he thinks it's lots of fun to drive them crazy. Tiny Karen arrives last, a doe-eyed sweetheart who could fit right in with Saddam Hussein's regime when she gets mad. Stevie is about 8 years old intellectually, Jenny is 6, Jody 5, and Karen 2. All four kids seem to have inherited the most extreme traits from their folks, which is quite scary.

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The long sequence in 'Buster's Guide To Unconsummated Romance' By Nefaria.

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She had waited for this since he first asked her to marry him, her mouth watered anxiously. She lost control of her body, sweating, heart beating, fumes rising causing those around to flee. She didn't care, all that mattered was she would be with Alex forever

She turned to kiss her new husband, he would be there, her fumes never affected him like her other would-be lovers. She closed her eyes and felt the rough and sharp lips of Alex!

Snapping her eyes open and seeing before her not Alex, but.....

Fifi, "Vous! Et ez impossible, vous are dead!"

"Don't believe everything vous hears, but as promised by vous family and monsieur's, vous are now mois!" he grabs her tightly. She struggles in his ungodly grip, he is disgusting, if ugliness and horror could have a body, it would be his.

He just laughs at her efforts, kissing her neck in perverted passion, sending waves of nausea through her body. Fifi struggles to no avail and finally screams and screams and screams.

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Fifi's intro dream in 'Le Wedding de Fifi' By Jeremy J. Jurrens.

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"Wait a minute. Babs," said Buster, "how can YOU be with Plucky?"

"I love him. He gives the attention I need and more...?" she seemed to be stunned at what she said.

"Shirley, how can you?" pleaded Plucky.

"Opposite powers, like attract," she said seductively and suddenly gasped.

"Well, Shorty," said Cleo boldly, "Hamton have the type of kiss you never had with me."

"But," said Shorty, "we never kissed."

"Oh... all the better why went to him for the savory kiss." she smiled and then frowned.

"Well there's no need explaining why you went to Buster, Fifi," said Hamton and sadden after a while.

"Anyway, I'd always loved Fifi," proclaimed Buster then seemed to be stunned at his words. "Wait a minute that's not true," he protested, "Babs, I'd always cared for you and only you." He tried to go to her but was snapped back to Fifi.

"Shirley was the only one for me," said Shorty, "and now...now I want Cleo. Cleo forgive me but I don't know what's come over me." He ran to her but some force pulled him back to Shirley.

"Hey! What going on?" cried Plucky.

Everyone tried going back to their real love but was pulled back to the other. They said they loved the other lover but changed and loved their real lover. Then, BUMP!, they all turned to the door that was in the same hall as Buster and Fifi. Buster went and opened it to see Puma and Lola kissing.

"We don't even wanna know!" they all said and slammed the door closed.

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'Fun With Love' By FoxWiz.

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Anyway, after the afternoon was over, nightime came, and all the toons were sleeping. Buster's in his bed tossing and turning. He's having a nightmare. Buster was at the Loo the next morning, he was late as usual. After he got all his books and to his next course, which was Wild Takes 101, his trouble began. His teacher, Yosemite Sam, called upon him to do the Giant Eyeball. He got up in front of the class and prepared for his wild take. He started off great, but when he was reverting back, he got stuck in the giant eyeball take. It took him 30 minutes to get back to normal, and by that time everyone was lauging, even Babs.

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'Tiny Toons Dream' By Redknox the Fox.

And the winner is........"

Leloni taps her foot impatiently. She glares towards the right wing of the stage. "Hello? Anyone intending to bring me the envelope or what?"

As a response, something metallic comes hurtling out of the wing. It sails over Leloni's head: ricochets off of several stage props; flies off the ceiling and bounces off the other wall. Leloni realizes what the object is. She reaches up just in time to catch it as it sails back towards the wings.

With unamused eyes, Leloni plucks the envelope off the object and holds it up. "Look, I know show-biz is a cut-throat industry. But flinging a Chakram at me isn't going to improve things, ok?"

She flings the Warrior's weapon back into the wings and focuses on the envelope.

"Now, as I was saying; The winner is - " The long sequence in Buster's Guide To Unconsummated Romance" by Nefaria!"

Leloni Bunny

"Now, that's com- What do you MEAN I'll get sued if I finish that line????"

**************************************************************************** *******

[no reply given]

**************************************************************************** *******

A huge movie screen is lowered down to center stage. The stage lights are turned very low so everyone can see the screen. For now, a black void seems to be the only thing to be seen.

Finally, a white lettered paragraph appears on the screen.

'In the fall of 1996 Artisan Entertainment released a movie about three college students getting lost in the woods.'

After a few moments another sentence appears.

'One week later, their movie was parodied by every two-bit racket in town.'

The speaker system begins to pump out a series of sound bites;

Velma (Scooby Doo); I gave you BACK the map, Freddy!

Freddy (Scooby Doo); Don't make me get angry with you, Velma. I gave you the map.

David Letterman; The top ten things scarier than the Blair Witch Project.....

Heather (BWP); Oh my God! What is that?! What the @#$#@ is That?!

Ghostly Voice; A group of six girls ventured into the woods. A year later, their footage was found. This is the horror of The Chibiusa Project. (Sailor Moon is wailing in the background.)

Mrs. Krabappel (Simpsons): And I don't want to see 21 versions of the Blair Witch Project either.

Heather (BWP) (crying); I am so so sorry. Because, despite what Mike says now, it is my fault. Because it was my project. project-project-project- project......

As the last words of Heather echo into obscurity, the movie screen goes blank again. It rises back into the rafters. While it does, a new musical theme begins to play. Knowledged fans will immediately recognize the tune as the opening theme for Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

A closed curtain remains after the movie screen is gone. There's a spotlight shining upon the curtain. It allows the audience to see a very familiar shadowy shape indeed.

"Good evening," speaks a base toned voice.

The music screeches to a hault. The curtains are ripped open. The audience is left face to face with - Elmer Fudd. Still, Mr. Fudd is dressed elegantly enough. He is wearing a black business suit and tie.

"Gweetings," he says, "I'm Awfwed Fuddsock. Tonight I have been asked to-"

Elmer's impersonation is rudely interrupted as he takes a disgraceful tumble down the flight of stairs he was standing atop of. He oofs and ouches his way down each and every one of the twenty-eight and three- quarters of the stairs. Eventually, he lands in a tangled mass of Fudd at the bottom.

Show-biz allows no time for pain though! So, Elmer merely grins sheepishly at the audience and gives his famous trademark laugh.

He quickly untangles himself and gets to his feet. As he brushes himself off, he continues his speech.

"They say that the best fowm of pwaise is pawody. Ow something like that. Huhuhuhuhu! Ouw next awawd honows those that awe considewed the Best innovative ideas. These ideas have been taken to ouw heawts and used in vawious fanfics. So, the nominees awe:

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"No," replied the pretty black teenager named Mary Melody, who was without question the most normal student at the Looniversity. "However, rumor has it from unconfirmed sources that Ms. Lola Jean Bunny, age 20--also unconfirmed--will be seeking a position on the faculty of Acme Looniversity. Ms. Bunny--if that _is_ her real name, graduated from some place called LTU with honors, and attended on a combined academic and athletic scholarship..." The other toonsters just sighed.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Honey had always gotten along with the students from the first day she arrived at Acme Loo, but her personal history was somewhat sketchy at best. Even Bookworm couldn't find anything about her in the library. The more Mary thought about it, the more it bothered her... especially since she knew what it felt like to be overlooked.

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Adding Honey & Lola to the faculty [Newcomer]

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I've got a little challenge for all you toonsters out there! The following is a fun little home test you can do in your spare time: Below are ten quotations from various Tiny Toon Adventures cartoons. See how many you can correctly identify. I will post the answers in the "New Story Forum" folder bright and early December 1, 1994.

1. "Heh, heh, Firestone radials!" "Radial tires are cool!"

2. "De-lighted! Just call me Plucky McDucky, lad!"

3. "Ooooh, now I have a cute little squirrly-whirrly to pet and love and cherish and SQUEEZE!"

4. "Great, there's a hole in the plot!" "Yeah, big enough to drive a MACK TRUCK THROUGH!!!!"

5. "As usual, Plucky, your command of the obvious is stunning."

6. "Nothing easy is ever simple! We shall overcome obstacles, and laugh in their general direction!"

7. "That's it! That's...that's the thing! Fire that other guy!"

8. "I LOVE the little furry ones, but when they run away, I can't believe they want to leave, so I SQUEEEEEZE them 'till they stay!"

9. "...and don't be defeated! Be like, the other way!"

10. "You done Shirl? Good."

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Quiz at the end of ARVSTTTIG

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"I don't know, guys," she said softly. "I don't think I can be a part of something like that..."

"Like, since when did YOU develop a social conscience, anyway?" Shirley prodded her.

"So I'm a late bloomer, like, sue me, and shut up, 'kay?" Ruby replied angrily.

Babs attempted to defuse the situation as best she could. "Now *there's* the Rhubella we all know and love," she chirped happily. Ruby wasn't buying it. "No good, huh?"

"I'm sorry, guys," Ruby said. "It's... well, personal..." Babs and Shirley eyed each other. They knew exactly what she meant; it was Ruby's personal 'Achilles Heel'.

Babs spoke softly. "It's your dad again, isn't it?" Ruby nodded, lips quivering and tears forming in her eyes. "Sorry... we had no idea..."

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Reforming Rubella [Parallel series]

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Babs stepped into the office, and was surprised to see who was standing in front of her. "Oh, hi," she said, a bit taken aback. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We've decided to enroll!"

"Correction, YOU decided to enroll!"

"I don't want to be here!"

"Wow, that's....great," Babs told them.

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Warners attending Acme Loo" [A Really Very Special Tiny Toons Thanksgiving.I Guess]

Elmer peels open the envelope. "And the winnew is -"

As the envelope opens, a flock of ducks come zooming out, trampling over poor Elmer. At the head of the team is Daffy Duck! The flock zooms around and settles upon the podium.

Elmer has been knocked unconscious, as usual.

So, it's up to Daffy to complete the award. "Aw, come on!" he says, "What Hitchcock parody is complete without the mandatory assault from 'The Birds'?"

His fellow flockians chortle in encouragement. Daffy clears his throat and continues.

"And the winner is .......... ME! Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo!"

About ten gallons of ice cold water instantly falls upon the flock.

"OK OK!" Daffy cries out, "I was only joking!"

The waterfall stops, leaving a bunch of frozen ducks in its place. As his teeth chatter, Daffy grabs the paper from Elmer's hand and reads the real winner.

"The winner *really* is 'Reforming Rubella '"

Daffy turns to his comrades. "Come on guys, the sooner we get south, the sooner we get a warm welcome for a change." He and the rest of the flock shiveringly fly off into the wild blue yonder. Pete Puma hurries onstage to sweep up Elmer and the rest of the award mess left behind.

In the right wing of the stage, a certain lavender rabbit ponders if she should tell the ducks that they're a little late going South since it's Spring already. "Naaaahhh!"

Leloni Bunny

**************************************************************************** *******

Ruby, dressed in a resplendent evening gown, makes a mad dash up the stairs to the main stage, where she trips on the hem, plummets face forward into the podium, smashes it to bits with the impact, and then makes a splendid recovery. Roberta, in the audience, turns to Furrball and says, "She meant to do that." Furrball, skeptical, is asleep.

RUBY: "You like me! You *really* like me!! You *really, really...*"

AUDIENCE (bored): "It's been done."

RUBY: "Oh. It has? Well... never mind..."

(Finish this scene yourselves, if you dare!!!)

Seriously, and how often does that happen?, thanks, folks. I'll have to write a discourse on this whole reforming Ruby idea when I have more time. RL bites. (Of course, the alternative ain't so hot, either.)

Watch yer backs.

Furrball. ;)

**************************************************************************** *******

Lucky for us that this is a 'toon' ceremony. Under normal circumstances, a broken podium would be a problem - but not in the Tooniverse! A trap door simply opened up in the stage and swallowed the podium pieces along with Rhubella! Then a new one pops up in its place.

Another familiar theme song strikes up in the orchestra.

Entering stage left comes the original cartoon kingpin himself -accompanied by his lady fair - Mickey and Minnie Mouse!

Mickey looks classy as always in his black tux and red tie with cummerbund. His shoes even seem extra shiny this evening. Lovely Minnie seems to float along the stage in her crimson velvet ball gown. The sleeves are short, puffy and ruffled at the ends. Her collar is a small V-neck that allows the crystal choker about Minnie's neck to illuminate nicely. True to her character, a petite red ribbon bow encircles her ears.

The duo approaches the new podium ad mist murmurs and general wonderings of what they're doing here. Mickey clears his throat and speaks into the mic, "Hi folks! Minnie and I have been asked here tonight because of our expertise in the general area of 'merchandising.'"

A burst of wind ruffles through the audience as Bugs and Daffy hit the stage. Daffy leans over the mic and stares at Mickey. "Now just a dang minute there! Where do you get that 'expertise' stuff?"

"Yeah, as you may recall, we do have a sizabbl-bl-ble amount of character adorned objects under our names as well," Bugs adds.

"That's true," Minnie agrees. "But do you have a 'Princess collection'?"

The rabbit and the duck look at each other. "Well-"

"Is merchandise from your old movies still sold fresh daily?" Mickey asks.

"Uh... not as such," Bugs admits.

"Does your company still offer a multitude of merchandise still endorsing all forms of your characters?" asks Minnie.

Daffy gulps, "Well, no... But we're still the big-time in merchandising! So Nyah!"

A skateboard landing upon the podium grabs everyone's attention.

"You guys are all lame. My merchandise ring beats you all out with no problem!" says none other than the resident yellow-skinned hoodlum of the Tooniverse; Bart Simpson.

"Excuse us," pipes up a chorus of voices from the sidelines. Everyone turns to see the sweetest bunch of over parodied moralistic cuddly creatures this side of the sugar field -The Care Bear Family.

A brown bear with a red heart upon his tummy (also known as TenderHeart) steps forward. "Actually, our merchandise crowded store shelves long before you were born, Bart."

"And we were helping children explore their feelings long before Barney came along too!" speaks up a pink bear with a rainbow upon her tummy (CheerBear).

Another voice speaks up behind the bears. This one has obvious suffered from the over effects of microphone reverb. "You're forgetting about _us_! We were the _origional_ 25-minute merchandising commercials!"

Yep, it's He-Man and his legion of Masters of the Universe. Alongside him stands; She-Ra; Rainbow Brite; the Smurfs; a couple of the Gi-I-Joe clan; Strawberry Shortcake (and Custard too!); the Glo-Friends and a couple of Pound Puppies!

"Gulp!" squeaks Daffy.

Suddenly, the whole stage is full of toons squabbling over who has the top merchandising empire. This goes on for several minutes until......

A lone toon comes swinging right into the middle of the fray. Everyone instantly jumps back to give him plenty of room. His painted on smile seems brighter than ever. His bright yellow, white and red costume gives his identity away instantly.

"I was in the neighborhood doing a children's charity and I thought I'd drop by."

Yep! It's none other than the single biggest advertising & merchandising star recognized by children the world over - Ronald McDonald.

"He beats us out by a berry big landslide," Strawberry Shortcake says quietly. The rest of the group reluctantly agrees with her.

He-Man shrugs and motions to the Gi-I-Joe clan. "Come on, guys. Let's go taunt some Cobras and laugh as they fire machine-gun lasers at us and still can't even get close."

"Count me in!" pipes up Rainbow Brite as she follows the Joes. Soon everyone else follows suit as well. Eventually, the only ones left on stage are Mickey, Minnie, Bugs, Daffy and Ronald McDonald.

Ronald turns to Mickey and holds out his hand. "May I?"

Without a word, Mickey hands Ronald the award envelope.

Ronald opens the envelope and announces, "For Best use of merchandise or other business matters related to TTA, the only nominee and therefore winner is;

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"No, I'm Bug's Bunny, and I'll prove it. Here, take a look at my identification." With that, Bug's pulled out his model sheet, and sure enough, it was labeled "Bug's Bunny." "See, I told ya so."

"Humph," said Bugs. "I got one-a dem tings too," and he pulled out his own model sheet labeled, "Bugs Bunny."

"That doesn't mean a thing," said Bug's. "Look at the date. 1943. Mine says 1939. I got you beat for the name by four years."

"Well dis ain't my foist model sheet. My appearance did refine itself over me foist few years. This is what finally emerged, and it's the one still in use today."

"Oh really?" asked Bug's. "So you've got an earlier sheet?"

"Not with me. Buster, do you still have that model sheet of mine that I gave you? My foist one from A Wild Hare?"

"Uh, yeah, Bugs, but I..."

"Never mind about that now. Come on, let's go get it and settle this once and for all."

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The character sheets in "What's in a Name?" (Kevin Mickel)!"

**************************************************************************** *******

Hey, I won. And it was a victory that was unopposed. I'm not so sure what that means, if anything.

Well, I am glad that the concept was appreciated by someone enough to nominate it, it really was the whole crux of "What's in a Name?" which I still think is a fairly decent story.

But, I prefer Burger King.

Thank you.

Kevin

**************************************************************************** *******

In response to Kevin's short speech, a hamburger with legs comes dashing out onto the stage. As it passes under the lights, a little crown on its head shines. It hops up on Kevin's shoulder and gives him a quick smooch on his cheek. Then it dashes off stage left.

Poor Kevin has little time to wonder what just happened however. Because the Hamburgler comes zooming across the stage. Kevin has to jump into the front row of the audience to avoid the burger addicted burgler. Even the Disney and WB duos have to move aside to avoid being run over.

"Robble! Robble! Robble! Robble!" declares the Hamburgler happily as he continues in hot pursuit of the Burger King. Ronald races off after him. "Hamburgler! You know it's against your contract to eat the competition!"

Minnie holds another envelope out to Daffy. "Would you like to do the honors for the next award?"

A high-class 'look' spreads over Daffy's face. He accepts the envelope from Minnie graciously. "Why thank you my dear."

As Daffy glances down to see which award he's presenting, Bugs's quick vision scans the envelope first. Hiding a chuckle, the rabbit quietly backs off the stage. The mice do likewise off towards the other end of the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pleased to make the presentation for which I am the most suited to present. For, who better than I could possibly embody the true essence of our next award? No one, that's who! So it is with utmost pride that I present the award for -eh- -STUPIDEST MOMENT?!"

Daffy's eyes bug out of his skull as he reads the envelope. A disgruntled sneer curls upon his lips. His brow furrows in anger as most of the auditorium breaks into giggles. He scowls, "Oh, it is to laugh. Har de har har! Present your own award yooouuuu nitwit rodent!"

With that Daffy slams the envelope down on the stage and stalks away.

Mickey renters the stage. This time he gets some minor applause. A few feet behind him comes his faithful pal and loyal companion pet; Pluto. Mickey stops to scoop up the envelope and begins another presentation.

"If there was ever a time when 'stupid' was funny, it had to be the 1930s. It was the era when the simplest of situations could become a six minute mess. Things like running with a hot iron and tripping could send a horse and rider on a mad, and often painful, dash through the countryside. Or just backing into a ladder could set off a chain reaction with monstrous consequences."

While Mickey talks, Pluto prances towards the podium to join his beloved master. Unfortunately, he's not watching where he's going. So it's unsurprising that his right front paw should end up plopping right into a bucket that someone conveniently left on the stage. Pluto's ears raise up as he realizes what he just did. First he tries shaking the bucket like a maraca. This only causes him to slam the bucket on the stage. In return, Pluto gets a complete body vibration that leaves even his eyeballs spinning. Pluto shakes his had and glares down at the bucket. He puts his left front paw on the bucket and attempts to pull his right paw free. Naturally his left paw ends up stuck in the bucket. Undaunted, Pluto places his back right paw upon the bucket and pulls. Once again, he gets another paw stuck in the bucket. With three paws in the bucket you can bet Pluto's hopping mad -literally!

While Pluto continues to struggle with the bucket, Mickey continues to talk. "In many cartoons, 'stupid' things aren't really a mere brainless thought. Actually, it takes a lot of thought to create those situations! Actually, they are more a result of not using some 'common sense'. But look at some of the wonderfully funny cartoons -and fanfictions- we get from characters not using common sense. That's what this award honors: the usage of stupidity to make us laugh. So, for 'Stupidest Moment' the nominees are;

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I don't normally talk to people like you, but I suppose I'll lower myself to your level for today, for this story, for my story.

My name's Rex. Rex Powers. I'm from a different planet... and I don't always bring peace...

But today I do. *Hahahahahahahahah!* (Note: author has put in ** marks and laugh track so you can tell when characters are trying to be funny.)

Today was a beautiful day in Acme Acres. I knew it would be perfect because today was the day I was going to attend Acme Loo for the first time. Such a nice school... not like my last one, where my best friend got eaten by the principal *hahahahahahahah*. But that was back on my home planet, 32xMax. An odd name, I realize, but then again, I'm an odd guy *hahahahahahah*. And a very handsome fox!

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The entire story of A Really Bad Fanfic

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Wakko: So it wasn't a scam.

Yakko: Shirley is one of the greatest predicters. Too bad I can't go on a date with her.

(The next day, the family of Hamton, and the friends of Hamton and Fifi, plus the midnight society paid a visit to Hamton and Fifi's fueneral.)

Joesph Tiger: Friends and relatives, we have gathered here today to mourn the death of Hamton and Fifi. They were killed by a drunk driver who's alcohol level was 5 times over the limit. Because of this, the tragetic moment took the lives of these two toons, who's destiny was destroyed. Hamton was 19, Fifi was 18. May they rest in peace.

(This episode is dedicated on the dangers of drunk driving. Many people die of drunk driving every 15 minutes(which was a 2 day event at my high school). Remember, drinking and driving under the influence results in death. Don't drink and drive. Don't let a drunk friend drive.)

The end.

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Ending of The Dangers of Drunk Driving (by UDX)

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BABS face creates some truely unique expressions of disbelief and shockas she leafs through the pages. FIFI, smiling wickedly comes up behind the sputtering BABS.

FIFI: UH....do you mind eef I have a look??

BABS gives it up without protest (she's still QUITE shocked) and FIFI drools over it approtiately. Returing to the trunk and going over a few more scripts, she and SHIRLY start to close it up.

BABS: You know, these really aren't to bad! We could almost get the shoow back ont he road with a couple more of these...

SHIRLEY: Yea, and like, Plucky could join the Peace Corps.

BABS: Well, I guess this is it. We might as well pack it up and head back. Not much of a treasure, tho.

FIFI is huddled over the "FANBOYS" script, especially a bit marked "ADDRESSES"

FIFI: Zpeak for yourzelf, cotton tail!

BABS leans back over the script, BLUSHES bright red and RIPS out a PAGE. Instead of tossing it over shoulder, tho, she comptemplates it and she stuffs it down her SHIRT. FIFI gives her a wicked GRIN.

BABS: Well, I wouldn't...want it uh...fallling into the wrong hands!!

CUT TO SHIRLEY, BABS, FIFI, and the TRUNK, loaded back onto FURRBALL.

BABS: adressing FIFI and SHIRLEY Well, GIRLS, we have competed our mission

HERE!! LOAD UP! HEAD OUT! CAMPWARD HHHHHHOOOOOO!!!!!

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The ending of "(Non) Campus Mentis"

Mickey opens the envelope. "The winner is; The entire story of A Really Bad Fanfic!"

Hearing a whimpering sound over the cheering, Mickey looks over and finally sees Pluto The poor pup has managed to free his feet from the bucket. But now, it's stuck on his cranium. Mickey smiles at his old pal. He takes pity on the dog and helps him remove the bucket.

Pluto's gratitude is shown quickly as he jumps up on Mickey and smothers him with slobbery dog kisses. Gotta love these happy endings eh folks?

(Don't go away! Two more awards left! And then it's all over, we promise!)

Leloni Bunny

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[no reply given]

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The stage curtain has been closed for so long that most folks wonder if the ceremony is _finally_ over. To their dismay, Gogo Dodo waddles across the front of the stage carrying a big sign.

'It's not over yet, folks!'

Some of the audience members closer to the stage can hear sounds of hammering, sawing and a few of the general vocalities that accompany most building projects. Within a few minutes, the noise dies down. Slowly, the curtain is reopened and the spotlights illuminate the set.

An auto repair shop greets the audience's eyes. At center stage is a car with its front hood propped open. Someone is leaning into the car's engine. So all that is seen is a white bunny tail and a bunny's overall clad back end.

Buster Bunny's voice rings out from the engine, "Ok, Plucky! Fire it up."

A sickly motor sound rises out of the car. Along with it comes an immense cloud of thick gray smoke -right into Buster's face! He jumps back quickly. His entire upper body is covered in black soot. Buster hacks up some smoke and looks to the audience with a weak expression. "Is there a surgeon General in the audience?" he asks.

Then he picks up a conveniently placed towel and wipes himself off.

Plucky hops out of the car and approaches Buster. The duck is also wearing some mechanic's overalls. He grins at the hare. "Ah! I love the char broiled stench of a smoked hare in the morning!"

Buster finishes cleaning up and tosses the towel off-stage. "Better a smoked hare than a diced duck!"

Right on cue, the car coughs and sputters. It spits out a bunch of sharp little objects-straight at Plucky! The poor duck finds himself stuck to the far wall.

"Ok, I think that's enough clowning around," Buster says as he chuckles. He helps Plucky pull the little sharp objects out of the wall (and Plucky's overalls).

"Yeah, we've still got a ton of fanfiction to fix," Plucky replies.

The duo turn to the audience.

"Why would we fix fanfiction if we're auto mechanics?" Buster mock- asks.

"Because we like to!" answers Plucky in a sing-song tone.

A spotlight is cast on the duo. Two hats and canes come flying out from either side of the stage. Buster and Plucky catch them, don them and go into a most classic style vaudeville dance.

Buster begins singing. "We're the tooniest of the tooney."

Plucky adds in, "We're the zaniest of Zen."

Buster continues, "We're the looniest of looney."

Plucky sings, "We're as crazy as we can be..."

Both of them finish together in a barbershop quartet-esque tune, "While staaaayyyyinnnggg cliiinn-iiiic-caallllyyy saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane!"

A quick tempo 'joke-music' begins in the LT Orchestra. Buster and Plucky stage-turn to each other. (For those who may wonder, 'stage turning' means you turn a little in the direction you're aiming for while keeping a good 3/4 of your form in view to the audience.)

Buster says, "That's right! We're so nuts that we'll fix anything!"

Plucky counts on his fingers as he lists, "Boats; cars; planes; sinks; safes; refrigerators; you name it, we can probably fix it."

"But our specialty," says Buster, "Is fanfic fixing!"

Plucky chuckles. "You might say we have a fixation for fanfic fixing."

Buster replies, "Now try saying _that_ three times fast!"

"What do you think I've been doing for the past three weeks?" Plucky cries.

Mary Melody rushes on stage, interrupting the boys' act. She's dressed in a casual gray business suit and matching miniskirt. she's carrying a stack of papers.

"Guys!" she calls, "We just got a huge order for fanfiction that needs to be fixed!"

Buster slaps his forehead. "Oh great!" he moans. "We haven't even been able to finish the last batch yet."

"Now remember, Buster, the worse the fanfic, the more we get to charge for it!" Plucky states as his eyes light up like dollar signs.

Buster leans aside to the audience. He says, "Well, you didn't think we'd fix fanfics for free. Did you?"

Plucky comes out of his dream state and joins Buster in saying, "Even _we_ aren't _that_ nuts!"

Meanwhile, Mary has been shuffling through her stack of papers and thinking. She gets an idea. "No sweat, guys! We'll just limit our order acceptance to one fanfic."

"But which fic?" Plucky asks.

Mary finally finds the paper she was looking for and shoves it into Plucky's hands.

"Easy," she says, "We'll take the winner of our next award."

"Great idea!" Buster agrees.

All three of them turn to the audience.

Mary says, "For 'Fic Most in Need of Work', the nominees are..."

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Shirley: Welcome everyone. We are here at the Kids WB midnight society to learn each others fate. Now the purpose of learning fate is like sitting in a circle around the fire, for sure. Now I want everyone to sit around the fire

Toons: Yes Shirley.

Yakko: I am not so sure about this, Shirl.

Wakko: Yeah, I want to watch my Don Knotts videos.

Yakko: I think you watched them already.

Shirley: Whatever. Now everyone, hold hands and start praying.

(The toons hold hands and they start praying.)

Shirley: I am predicting something. I am predicting that, Wakko Warner will lose his Don Knotts videos to Fowlmouth.

Wakko: No, not my Don Knotts videos.

Shirley: I was just kidding about that.

James: Is this suppose to be some kind of a joke? I wanna go home

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Buster reads first, "The Dangers of Drunk Driving". By UDX."

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We went out into the hallway and I closed and locked the door after everyone was out. Then, Buster Bunny turned on his Flashlight. I looked to the left down the hallway and saw another Gray Steel Door on the right side of the hallway. Then, I went over to the door and shone my Flashlight through the window into the room on the other side of the door. And, I saw that there is a Small Wooden Box in the room, just like the one that we found Tennis Balls in. So, I unlocked and opened the door. Then, I went over to the Small Wooden Box. When we got closer to the Wooden Box, I saw that it had the number '50' carved in front of it like the other Small Wooden Box that we found. The Wooden Box was the same size as the other one as well. Then, I opened the box and saw that it had Tennis Balls in it. The Tennis Balls appeared to be a yellowish color with no symbols on them. Remembering the number that I saw on the side of the box, I thought to myself, "I think that there is also 50 Tennis Balls in this Wooden Box like the other one". Then, I put the sack down and started to put the Tennis Balls into the sack. After he put all the Tennis Balls into the sack, I closed the Wooden Box. Then I picked up the sack which was now filled with 100 Tennis Balls and left the room. I closed and locked the door.

As we started down the hall, we saw a Gray Steel Door with a Barred Window to our left. I went to the Steel Door, looked in, and saw a Small Wooden box in the room on the other side of the door. Then, I unlocked and opened the door. I went into the room and over to the Small Wooden Box. When we got closer to the wooden box, I saw that it had the number '100' carved on the front of it. The wooden box was the same size as the other ones. Then, I opened the box and saw that it had Tennis Balls in it. The Tennis Balls appeared to be a yellowish color with no symbols on them. I thought to myself, "There are 100 Tennis Balls in this wooden box because the number on the side of the box must stand for 100 Tennis Balls". Then, I put the sack of 100 Tennis Balls down and started to put the Tennis Balls into the sack. After he put all the Tennis Balls into the sack, I closed the Wooden Box. "Suddenly, I saw that the sack was full with 200 Tennis Balls and I picked it up. Then, I left the room and closed and locked the door.

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Plucky goes next,"The Legend of Toon Park" By Eric Bunny."

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They looked down and saw Montana with a few workers standing next to the Epoch.

"What is he doing to our ship?" Babs asked.

"Shh!" Fifi quieted.

"Hurry up and add the weapons to this thing, and improve propulsion. Come on! What am I paying you for?" Monty shouted.

"Actually, sir," the worker said, "you're not paying us."

"And if you don't pick it up I never will be," Monty said.

Plucky pulled out the Masatoon and tried to break the grate, but it didn't work.

"We have to find a way around," Babs said.

"Yeah, but how?" Plucky asked.

Babs pointed to a vent above them.

"Oh, no. I'm not crawling through there," Plucky said.

Within two minutes the three of them were crawling through the vents to get to Monty.

"According to my calculations," Babs said a couple of minutes after they started, "we should be over him right now!"

Plucky cut a hole for them to go through. They climbed out and found they were on the broad, teal wing of the blackbird.

"Niceth goingeth," Plucky said.

"Look!" Babs shouted and pointed.

They saw the Epoch flying out.

"It works! It works!" Monty yelled as he flew it towards the blackbird.

"It's the Epoch!" Babs said.

"It's not the Epoch! It's the Aero-Montana imperial!" Monty said.

Lasers began to fire out of the ship, narrowly missing Babs and company.

Babs bounded onto the Epoch, Plucky flew over, and Fifi just leaped. They all landed on the front of the Epoch.

"Going somewhere?" Babs asked him.

"Get off of here!" Monty said.

"No!" Babs said.

Monty pulled his coin gun out and said, "Fine. I'll just shoot you off!"

Babs reached over and grabbed his wallet.

"Ha! Now I can kill your only friend!" Babs said.

"Like your only friend got killed?" Monty said.

Babs got an intense look of fury in her eyes.

"You ***!" Babs said.

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Mary reads the third, "Chrono Toon by Dark Helmet."

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Later, at the training room, Babs Bunny, Yakko Warner and Polly(Samuri Pizza Cats), was doing a little training.

"You know, this purple dinosaur is sounding like that koopa king from Mario Bros" Polly said when she got a bullseye with her gun practice. "YEEESSSS. I won, I won, I won I, need a snack." She yelled

"You know, this is becoming the strangest fan-fiction ever. A purple Dinosaur that is about to be murdered." Yakko said, as he practices his punches and kicks.

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Buster reads the final nominee, "Die Barney Die, Prologue" by Urian Dang."

Mary picks up an extra thick stack of papers. She announces, "And the winner is 'The Legend of Toon Park" By Eric Bunny'!"

Plucky races past Mary, grabbing the stack of papers on his way. "I can just _taste_ the chunk of charge that's gonna cover this one!"

He leaves the stage, scatters papers all over the place. Buster races after him. "Hey, wait for me!"

Mary looks after the boys as they disappear off stage-left. She turns back to the audience and shrugs. The vaudeville music picks up again as Mary reaches behind her back and pulls out a hat and cane. She pops the hat on her head and dances off stage.



(Special thanks to Pepe K. for the idea for this one.)

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[no reply given]

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Leloni Bunny walks across the stage and stands next to the podium. She clears her throat and begins to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy to present the last award for the evening."

Needless to say, Leloni just lost the deposit she'd put down on the auditorium rental. Like a bottle cork with too much fiz behind it, the roof explodes right off the building! The cheering can even be heard all the way across the country in New York where the Statue of Liberty welcomes another boat full of immigrants.

One of the immigrants comments, "They're cheering our arrival! What a country!"

Back at the awards ceremony, there's a brief intermission while everyone checks their insurance carriers for deafness coverage.

Once everyone settles down, Leloni returns to the stage. She continues her speech. "Uh, yeah, like I said before, this is the final award for the show. (thank goodness) This award honors those that have made the most effective use of the art of storytelling at its fanfic finest. These are the authors that have helped us to identify and feel emotionally for the TTA cast. These authors have captivated our attention enough to keep us guessing and wanting to find out 'what happens next?' For 'Best Writer' the nominees are;

Plucky D. Warner

Jennifer Cleckley

Renee Carter Hall

Mike Cote

Kevin Mickel (HKUriah)

Jerry Withers

Pepe K.

Leloni Bunny (A bit of embarrassment colors Leloni's cheekfur as she reads her own name.)

John Friedrich (Nefaria)

Mike Beebe

Lee Withers."

Leloni picks up the envelope. She starts to open it and then stops herself.

"Before I announce the winner of this award, I think we should give each and every one of our authors a standing ovation. After all, it takes a mountain of courage to bare your work to the Web Wide World. We can never forget guys like Peter A Bunny; Anthony Barnett and Sean Brandenburg. Nor could we leave out girls such as Bridgette Berry; Beth Ann Bryant and Gypsy. We applaud your work and sincerely hope that you'll keep bringing us more of the quirks and adventures that only you could give us."

As the audience applauds some more, Leloni opens the envelope. Wakko Warner starts up a drum roll in the LT Orchestra.

Anticipation hangs as thick as honey (the gooey yellow stuff) in the air. Leloni quietly reads the names on the paper.

Then she gasps!

Leloni exclaims, "Oh my gosh! I-I don't believe it! Is-is this right? This isn't a joke or something? Are you-"

The audience yells, "Just get on with it!"

Bear Prower also sticks his head out from behind the curtain, "Yes, it is correct!"

Leloni grins sheepishly. "Ok, ok! *ahem* Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to present the winner of the 2001 'Best Writer' Award -"

(Commercial break)

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The little man in the control room suddenly finds it _very_ difficult to breath. Two lavender hands clamp tightly around his throat and force him to turn around.

Two fire-brimmed emerald green eyes _glare_ into his eyes. The little man can feel a certain note of murderous intentions in Leloni's attitude.

Leloni growls, "What in the deepest, darkest depths of a red hot, coal black and bloody blue Yosemitie Sam HELL do you think you're _DOING_?!"

The little man in the control room attempts to gulp. But Leloni's hands are clamped much too tightly for anything to pass through. Somehow, the little man manages to squeak, "It's sta-standard procedure to in- interrupt the l-l-l-last climactic moment of a broadca-cast with commercials. The-the ads pay big for it."

Leloni's teeth clench even tighter in an expression that would very easily frighten even Freddy Krueger. "If you don't stop that commercial this _instant_, no ad in the world could pay big enough to fix what _I'll_ do to you."

The little man in the control room trembles with terror. "Bu-but p-p-p- procedure!"

"I...Don't...CARE!" Leloni hisses. She removes one hand from his neck. Her other hand around his neck clamps more tightly to keep the little man from escaping.

Leloni reaches behind her back. As she does, a hand closes around her wrist. Leloni looks up in surprise. Staring back at her with a very stern face is her big sister; Lola Bunny.

"Lel, let that man go, NOW," Lola scolds.

Leloni protests, "But, Lo-la, he-"

Lola speaks calmly, yet sternly. "What did I tell you about sharing-and controlling your temper?"

"But, Looooolaaaaaa...."

Lola narrows her eyes. "N-O-W, Leloni."

Leloni groans miserably. But she obeys her big sister and dumps the little man back into his chair. He instantly keels over and desperately gasps for air.

Leloni angrily storms out of the control room with her sister following close behind. While Lola returns to the audience, Leloni returns to the stage. The lavender lagomorph impatiently awaits the end of the commercials.

As the cue light goes on for the UKEs to continue, Leloni does her best to smile pleasantly.

"Sorry about that folks," Leloni says, "But you know how Corporate America is: Ruin as much as possible as long as you make a profit.

So, as I was saying, the winner of the Best Writer 2001 award is -"

Leloni casts an icy glare up towards the control room. The little man in the control room peers back at her. A forced smile appears on his terror stricken face.

Seeing that nothing else is going to happen, Leloni sighs with relief. She then announces, "Pepe K.!"

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*The skunk in the smoking jacket walks to the podium. Those in Dr. Lord's theatre box rise in a standing ovation: Fifi, Hamton, Arnold, Pepe Le Pew and Penelope, Porky and Petunia Pig, Mae Bear, Laika Romanov, (sitting with Thorne the artistic Mouse, Andy Fox & Wile E. Coyote, Contessa Veronica, Armando the Armadillo, Peter & April Bunny, Speed Racer and his clan, Kimba the White Lion and Jimmy Sparks. (Gigantor is too big for the theatre) Pepe K. blushes and smiles genuinely as he takes the stage*

Pepe K.:"Thank you very much Leloni. Ladies and Gentltoons...I can't begin to express my appreciation for this award - but I'll try. Since beginning this chronical 2 years ago, I never thought it would be so well appreciated and I have you all to thank for that. Thank you so very very much! :)

* Applause! He fumbles for a piece of paper in his pocket*

Pepe K.:"Heheh! Andy Fox was kind enough to list those I should thank and so I -"

*he starts to read, holding out the piece of paper - but suddenly it bursts into flame and is turned to ash in a second! Pepe is shaken and looks to find Andy laughing hysterically at him*

Andy Fox:"It was written on flash paper! Gotcha!!"

*As the audience laughs, Babs Bunny suddenly appears on stgae right, doing an imitaion of Ben Stein*

Babs:(droning deadpan, she pulls down a movie screen)"Flash Paper is a theatrical prop used by magicians."

*Onscreen, we see Plucky performing a classic Magician's act using a magic tissue, which spontaneously combusts itself - and the duck. His pile of ashes with a duck bill and eyeballs says : "Is there a Doctor in the house?"

Babs:" The tissue is impregnated with an extremely flammable chemical and goes poof in the wink of an eye, thus producing the desired Magical effect. This has been another - Useless Fact."

*Suddenly the movie screen spontaneously combusts. Babs does a Jack Benny take and also burns up in a puff of smoke.*

*Pepe K. himself starts to do a wild take, but stops himself*

PepeK. :"Oh, no! ..Not gonna go there! Un-uh! .. Well anyway, I would like to thank Andy (despite his magic tricks) for helping moi considerably with counsel and advice.

*Applause as Andy waves and bows*

Pepe K.:"Another person who needs no introduction is our great artist Thorne, who uh..seems to be busy at the moment -"

*Thorne is busily sketching a very flattering picture of the pretty jerboa he's sitting and talking with, Laika Romanov. He's caught in the middle of an appreciative smile at the provacative Laika and looks up at the mention of his name, blushing and grinning a big cheesy grin. He waves and gets applause.*

Pepe K.: Thorne has been a great help to moi with his comments and especially for having created so many wonderful renditions for this tale that he created a webpage just for them! (http://ttathorne.home.mindspring.com/attepuh.htm) "His artwork will be on sale in the lobby following the show."

Thorne:" Thanks fur the plug!"

*Applause and laughs*

Pepe K.: Another person who's been a great source of both historical knowledge and keeping my spirits up is Peter Bunny!

*Peter and April wave*

Pepe K:" In addition to being a wonderful friend and an excellent writer, he's also an actor who's appeared with the Toonsters, deyfying certain death in "Silver Smudge".

*Applause*

Pepe K.:"But Peter's not the only rabbit I have to thank - there's another of my UKE cohorts who's helped moi - weather she knew it or not - Leloni Bunny!

*Applause. Leloni nods but nudges him*

Leloni:" Yer welcome. Now c'mon, c'mon! you're eating up air-time!

Pepe K.:Righto! Another person who's enthusiasm and empathy has been a great help is a new toon to Acme Acres - Johnny Winters!

*A Snowy owl peeks out of the crowd and blush/smiles. Applause*

Pepe K.:"And who could forget the ominous Dark Helmet!

*The dark warrior salutes the crowd. Applause!*

Pepe K.:"And there's our critics - The J.A.M. and Nate Freeman!

*Applause*

Pepe K.:" And I couldn't have even begun this process without our benefactor - Kevin Mickel." :)

*Big warm Applause! Leloni nudges him again*

Pepe K.: Right - right! I'd like to thank my wife and kids fur putting up with the odd hours I keep and the endless opinions I ask concerning this tale. :) I'd especially like to thank Fifi, Hamton, Dr. Lord and all the Toons for allowing this chronical to be shown of their lives - both public and private.

*Wild Applause that builds into a Standing Ovation!*

Pepe K.:"And of course, all of you, who have generously bestowed this high honor on moi. Thank you all!"

An Unseen Voice:" Alright! Alright! Dat's enough mushyness! Oy! De gratitude and saccherine are killing me!"

Pepe K.:(Looks around) "Who said that?"

*Boris the Spider sticks his head and hairy 8 legs out from underneath the podium's microphone*

Boris:" Me - dat's who!"

Pepe K.( does a Tex Avery "Fly-Apart-At-The-Seams" wild take at the sight of the Spider, screaming like a girl) :"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! SPIDERRRR!!!

*He runs in panic off the stage as the audience laughs*

Boris:(to the Audience)" To quvote somebody er other - "Never underestimate de liddle guy!"

*Pepe K. returns and dumps Boris out of the UKE Award and takes it*

Pepe K.:(to Boris)" See if you get a sequal, Mister Icky! (to the audience) Not even He can scare moi away from this award! Thanks again to everyone for this coveted Award. Merci beaucoup toute l'e monde!

*Pepe K. bows and returns to his theatre box amidst the cheering crowd of Toons*

Boris: (with a sour look and drumming his fingers) "Vell...dat's gratitude for ya!"

*The audience laughs and applauds as they await the Grand Finale.*





Merci, :)

Pepe K.

(Paul Kellogg)

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"And now, to take us on home I turn things over to the guy with the toony tunes; the wild cat with a love of song; the Jaguar who's no Peanut Butter! But he _is_ -The J.A.M!'

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