TITLE: Guilty in the Mind
AUTHOR: Eloy Brightdreamer
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: A distraught Crichton returns to the ship saying that he accidentally did something horrible. But things are not always as they seem...
WARNINGS: Apparent character death, gratuitous angst. The SACC will kill me for this. :)
SPOILERS: "Look at the Princess," "A Human Reaction"
SETTING: Between "Beware of Dog" and "Won't Get Fooled Again."
DATE STARTED: 1/2/01
FEEDBACK: Send it my way! Flames will be used to cook Ramen noodles.
ARCHIVE: Just ask!
DISCLAIMER: Farscape and its characters are the property of Jim Henson Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. No profit was made from this story.
NOTES: ~~~~~~~~~~~ denotes a flashback
Part 5: Rescue
The crowds in the streets parted like a massive wave before the stony glares of John and D'Argo. Eyes fixed on the grey building up ahead, John clenched his teeth and picked up the pace, his long black coat whipping around him. The two burst through the unlocked doors, weapons at the ready.
"Where is everyone?" the Luxan asked, aiming his Qualta blade down one hallway.
John shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe they figure no one will try to rescue anyone here." Especially if everyone held here is thought to be dead. He started down the corridor he'd seen Aeryn taken. "This way."
They hadn't gone far when a door just ahead of them opened and a short, bald man carrying a clipboard walked out and nearly ran into them. His eyes opened wide with shock as John grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into the wall.
"Where is she?" Crichton growled, pressing his pulse pistol to the man's head. "Where's Aeryn?"
A look of recognition and fear crept across the man's face. "C-Crichton! How... you shouldn't..."
John pushed him even harder against the wall. "I can find her with or without your help, doc," he said, moving the gun under the man's pudgy chin for emphasis.
The doctor lifted a trembling hand and pointed down the hall. "Five doors down, on the l-left."
"D'Argo, watch him," John said, giving the man one last shove as he moved away. "Make sure he doesn't call for help."
The terrified little doctor looked as though he were considering bolting until the tip of D'Argo's blade landed lightly on his chest. "Don't even think about it."
*****************************
Aeryn lay restrained on her bed, too drugged even to cry. A dull ache below her stomach told her that the surgery had already been done. As far as she could tell, she'd been drifting in and out of consciousness for the past few arns, as nurses came in periodically to inject her with sedatives and check her restraints. She turned her face to the wall and closed her eyes as the door opened again, not caring what her tormenters did to her now.
But this time, to her surprise, she felt a gentle touch on her forehead, while a voice she never thought she'd hear again called her name. She turned toward the voice and forced her eyes to focus on the person standing over her. "Crichton?" she whispered, unable to believe what her eyes and ears told her.
"C'mon, let's get you out of here," John said, tugging at the straps across her chest. Aeryn watched him closely as he freed her from the rest of her bindings, still unsure of whether or not she was dreaming. Only when his strong arms lifted her off the bed like a baby did she allow herself to relax and wrap her arms around his neck before the darkness claimed her once more.
***********************
When Aeryn awoke again, she was back on Moya, lying in her quarters. John sat beside her on the edge of the bed, his fingers lightly tracing circles on the back of her hand. He smiled at her as she opened her eyes. "Hey," he said softly. "How're you doing?"
"I..." She sighed deeply. "I've been better."
He gripped her hand tightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Aeryn remained quiet for so long, John was afraid that she wouldn't speak, like many other times when he'd asked her to talk about her feelings. Then, he noticed the slight quivering of her chin, and the small droplets that began to stream from the corners of her eyes into her hair. "Hey, hey, it's all right," he said, leaning down and pulling her up into his arms. She slumped into his embrace, gripping him tightly as she sobbed out all the pain and rage that had been building up. "Shh... it's OK," John soothed, stroking her hair gently. "Tell me what happened."
"They took him," Aeryn managed to say. "They killed our son."
"What?" Crichton was confused.
She pulled away from him and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes. "I didn't know it, but I was pregnant with our child. When the doctors found out he was only half Sebacean, they..." She shook her head, unable to continue as fresh tears flowed down her cheeks.
John sat still for a moment, overwhelmed. He'd been prepared for a tale of rape or violation, but this... He didn't know what to say, so he reached out and gathered Aeryn back into his arms. "God, Aeryn, I'm so sorry... I wish I could have gotten you out of there sooner."
"They told me you thought I was dead," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder.
"Yeah," he replied, holding her a little tighter. "Actually, they made me believe I'd killed you" He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. "Even though I know what really happened now, I remember seeing you die... and how I felt afterwards," he said, shivering a bit from the memory. "That's something I never want to go through again. I don't ever want to lose you..." He leaned in close to kiss her, but she turned her face aside.
"I... I can't, John, not just yet," she sighed, putting her head back down on his shoulder. "Just hold me for now, all right?"
"OK," he said, enfolding her in his arms once more. He held her tightly, staying silent and rocking her back and forth gently until her deep breathing told him that she was asleep. Then he lay her back down on the bed, crawling in beside her and spooning his body around hers. Healing for the both of them would take time, he knew, but for tonight, just being together was enough.
THE END
