Harry Potter and characters which belong to those books belong to JK Rowling. Romeo and Juliet and the text in which it contains belongs to Mr. Shakespeare. Kay and Horse belong to… well… Kay.
Draco & Hermione
Darkwriter Kay's parody of William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet
Prologue
When scene opens, we see Neville sitting on the far right side of the stage. He stands.
Enter LEE JORDON
Exit NEVILLE
LEE JORDON: smiles at audience, then start to search his pockets; pulls out a piece of paper and starts to read off it "Two households, both alike in dignity,
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
Whose misadventur'd piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents' strife.
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
And the continuance of their parents' rage,
Which but their children's end naught could remove,
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
The which, if you with patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend."
After he finishes, he walks over to where NEVILLE was standing and sits.
SCENE: A Hogwarts corridor
Enter NEVILLE and SEAMUS, DEAN, & COLIN
SEAMUS: What a way to start of a story…
NEVILLE: How?
SEAMUS: By telling the ending, of course!
NEVILLE: Are they supposed to do that?
COLIN: Is that what Lee said?
DEAN: Did you not understand what he said?
NEVILLE, SEAMUS, COLIN: No…
DEAN: Me neither. Anyway, how'd we get stuck playing these parts?
SEAMUS: I dunno.
NEVILLE: Has any of you seen Harry or Ron?
SEAMUS, DEAN, COLIN: No…
Enter PANSY, CRABBE & GOYLE
NEVILLE: Hides behind SEAMUS and DEAN
SEAMUS: Quietly Slytherins!
PANSY: Gryffindors! What are you doing here?!
DEAN: Can't you see? We're just walking!
PANSY: What should I believe a Gryffindor? Impedimenta!
SEAMUS: Furnunculus!
Both spells cancel each other.
RON'S EVIL TWIN: What's going on here? A fight?! Cool! Wait, hold on… pulls the script out of no where and reads the scene again Okay… Expelliarmus! PANSY's and SEAMUS's wands fly towards RET, and he catches them
PANSY and SEAMUS: What'd you do that for?
RET: The script says I have to PANSY and SEAMUS read the script; they nod in acknowledgement
Enter FRED
FRED: From behind COLIN Now, that's not fair! Expelliarmus!
Enter SNAPE
SNAPE: WHAT is the meaning of this? 20 points from Gryffindor!
Enter DRACO, who stays in the background
SNAPE: And if any of you Gryffindors attack any Slytherins again, you'll be expelled. Now, get back to your common rooms, all of you.
ALL leave, except RET, who goes over towards DRACO
RET: What's up, Draco?
DRACO: glares
RET: Oh, you're still – C'mon, Draco, you need to get past that. She's never even talked to you. C'mon Draco!
DRACO: glares, but less dangerously
RET: Listen, I know someone who you'd be much happier with.
DRACO: glares some more, but followes RET off stage.
END
