The BTD New Year's Special! (A.K.A. The Rat's Tale)
A/N: It occurred to me that we have three characters with "black" somewhere in their last names. Therefore, according to my twisted logic, everyone whose last name I either couldn't remember or don't know automatically became "(Insert first name here) Black" or similar. The nicknames are random Simpsons references, except for "black-blackity-black-black," which was just because I was feeling loopy.
Gashou is a word I looked up and, although the thing SAID it means Happy New Year, I could be using it the wrong way and so I apologize in advance to any Japanese speakers in case I've inadvertently mangled your language, in which case I give you full rights to beat me within an inch of my life in order to teach me a lesson. Please, please, please beat me within an inch of my life in order to teach me a lesson. Er. Perhaps I've said too much there.
I also tried really hard to make mention of all the playing characters at least once. Everyone I used is listed in the Dramatis Personae beneath, so if you don't see your character's name there you can stop reading because you won't be in it, and I know the only reason people read these things is to see what clever stuff their character said or did. But if you're NOT on that list, and thus not in the story, I sincerely apologize for leaving you out and I honestly didn't mean to. I do so hate feeling left out, and would not want to inflict those feelings on anyone else.
This little tale was approximately three day's rushed work, and not all the elements fit together too well because I wanted to fit all our playing characters in. For example, does it make sense that although select students from all the houses are invited to the Gryffindor N.Y.E. party, the only ones I mention are Brian and Narcissa? No. Does it make sense that basically everyone (excepting Aiko) is a fifth year, and no students from any other years are mentioned, including prefects? No. Does it make sense that they're having a huge party and none of the teachers have found out about it? No. Does it make sense that all these kids are still at Hogwarts during a time which should obviously be the Winter Break? No. Does it make sense that Joe keeps trying to bring Mundungus Fletcher into the story and no one gives two craps? No. But at this point I figure it's a given that, for anything involving me, you have to put your sense somewhere in a dusty, hidden corner of your mind. Which is what you'll have to do if you want to make it through the story. In any case, here's my completely stupid and pointless effort at the BTD New Year's Special and if you don't enjoy reading it, well then I don't blame you. Frankly I didn't enjoy writing it that much, either. And yes, the story actually IS longer than the Author's Note, but if you've made it this far then why not go all the way?
Dramatis Personae:
Rurika - Emiru Adaichi
Eliza Morwen Black
Essiana Black
Jezzabella Black
Rose Black
Sirius Black
Magius "Blackula" Blackstar
Theresa Delmonte
Narcissa De Winter
Lily Evans
Arabella Figg
Audrea Kerouic
Remus "Black-blackity-black-black" Lupin
Aiko Otonashi
Peter "Blunch-black of Blotre Blame" Pettigrew
James Potter
Brian Richard Thomas
"So..." James said, "...That was some party..."
"Mmnph," Sirius replied.
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Um," added Lily, her voice barely audible, "whoever's knee is digging into my kidneys, could you move it? I kind of need those."
"Oh, sorry," Bella muttered, repositioning herself ever so slightly. "That better?"
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Hey, everyone!" Eliza said brightly, "it's the first day of the new year! Isn't that awesome?!?"
This time a dozen or so voices joined Remus's:
"SHUT UP!"
Magius just shook his head.
"I get the feeling we've been here before," said Lily.
It was then that things got really sticky.
Everything had started out innocently enough: the New Year's Eve party was turning out to be quite a success. The decorations, courtesy of the girls, looked fabulous; there were streamers, sparklers, confetti and lanterns everywhere. They had managed to conjure up elaborate headdresses for everyone, and Sirius particularly enjoyed flaunting the feather-and-rhinestones confection fastened under his chin.
Remus had refused to wear one, but James and Sirius had ganged up on him and so he was currently sporting, very cautiously, something with a number of active sparklers kept on his head by several complicated knots.
Magius had also refused a hat, but they hadn't argued because frankly no one wanted to mess with Magius.
The Marauders had made an early-morning trip to Hogsmeade and had returned with snacks and drinks a-plenty, plus a hearty supply of butterbeer. They were keeping Remus away from the butterbeer.
They always kept Remus away from the butterbeer. They had had experiences.
The generous spirit of the holiday had gotten to everyone, and they were admitting Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, even one or two of the more tolerable Slytherins to Gryffindor Tower for the big celebration.
"I can't thank you enough," Narcissa, a Slytherin, was saying to Rose. "I think this is really great of you all, letting us into your common room. This party is great!"
"Yeah, I just hope none of the teachers find out, Brian added. He was wearing a large, stuffed Ravenclaw eagle on his head.
"I wouldn't worry about that," Sirius said slyly, "a few Confuto charms around the Tower are taking care of the noise factor. Now if we can just keep some of the more loud-mouthed souls from spilling we should be home free."
"Gashou!" Said Rurika.
"God bless you," James answered.
"No, that means Happy New Year in Japanese."
"Oh, thank you. Achoo to you too, Rurika."
Rurika rolled her eyes; nearby, little Aiko giggled.
"Hey," Bella said suddenly, "where's Peter?"
The others looked at her blankly.
"Peter?" James said. "Oh, Peter! Right, right... Dunno. Could be anywhere, I suppose."
"Does anyone care?" Sirius snorted, and James elbowed him in the ribs.
"Be nice. He's our friend, remember?"
"Aw, I'm just having a bit of fun, Prongs," Sirius protested.
"Ha, PRONGS!" Remus guffawed, "that's so dirty, ha hahaha ha--"
Diving at Remus, Theresa wrestled the bottle of butterbeer from his hands.
"Oh, no you don't," she said, snatching the nearly empty bottle away. "How did you get your hands on this?"
Remus sulked.
"Well I, for one, think someone should go get Peter," Lily announced. "He shouldn't be missing this party, it's too much fun. And on New Year's Eve, too!"
"I'll second that," James said, "someone go find Peter."
"I'll go after Petey-pop," Remus slurred, but Lily shook her head.
"That would be disastrous beyond belief," she said.
There was a sudden, cold silence in the room, and an overwhelming sense that something portentous had just taken place.
"I'll go get him," Magius offered, which didn't do much to alleviate the weird feeling in the air.
"I'll go with you," said Rose, removing her tiara and placing it on a table before following Magius out of the portrait hole.
"Nothing like a Gryffindor party, eh?" Sirius questioned the silence, in a vague attempt to lighten the mood.
Fifteen minutes later the party was back in full swing, and though neither Peter nor the two searchers had returned the music was blaring, the laughter was raucous, the drinks were flowing freely and not much of anyone noticed their absence.
"Should auld acquaintance be forgot," Sirius and James warbled, standing on a table with their arms around each other's shoulders, frothy mugs of butterbeer sloshing in the air.
"Not time for that yet," Jezza laughed, checking her watch. "We've another... Oh, a good three hours 'til it's time to sing that song!"
"Three hours already?" Bella murmured, resting her head on Lily's shoulder. "Where does the time go?"
Eliza, perched next to the two girls, poked Lily, who was snoring gently.
"You can't go to sleep yet," she chided, "you have to wait for midnight!"
"Yeah, you've got to watch the ball drop!" Brian said.
Audrea and Narcissa, who had been talking to him, stared.
"That's disgusting, Brian," Narcissa giggled, but Audrea's expression was deadpan when she said,
"Are you coming the raw prawn?"
"I really hope not," Brian answered worriedly before continuing, "I guess it's just an American thing. No, really, every year at Times Square in New York they drop this big, glittery globe. They start it ten seconds to midnight, and when it gets to the end of its descent it lights up and there are fireworks and confetti and everything. It's great. But I guess you guys don't do that over here. Come to think of it, you don't have televisions to watch it on, either."
"Nope, no TV for the magic bunch!" Remus cried happily, then belched. He was laying on the floor draped in streamers, hat askew, nursing a bottle of butterbeer that no one had been able to keep away from him and playing with the tiara Rose had left behind.
"Ah," Sirius said, arching an eyebrow, "but I think we may manage some fireworks of our own."
"Woo-hoo, honey!" Bella laughed, and everyone cheered, giddy with anticipation. It was certainly going to be a night to remember, they all agreed, although in some cases they'd be lucky if they could manage to remember where their pants had gone.
Lily sat up straight very suddenly, knocking Bella over.
"Crap!" She said, staring at Remus.
"What?" James asked, hopping off the table to get another drink.
"Remus, where'd you get that?"
"Ge' what?" Remus said, head lolling from side to side. "The butterbeer? A little pixie gave it to me..."
"Remus, you're so trashed, the tiara."
"Oh, sparklies!" Remus cried, "sparkle, sparkle, sparkle--"
"Rose left that when she and Magius went to find Peter," Lily said, "and none of them are back yet. What do you think happened to them?"
Theresa and Eliza exchanged a worried glance.
"Uh-oh," they said in unison.
"Uh-oh what?" James said suspiciously.
"Nothing," Eliza replied a bit too hastily, "um, we'll go get them. Don't worry about a thing."
"Right," Theresa added, "right. Er. We'll just be... going... now..."
"Not so fast!" James cried.
"What?" Theresa said innocently.
"I sense an adventure coming on here," James said, "and I'm going to put my foot down now. If you two go after Magius, Rose, and Peter, then I just know you'll wind up getting into some huge fiasco and then the REST of us will have to come to your rescue and I don't really feel like doing that. It's New Year's Eve, people. I'd like to enjoy myself for once, instead of having to run off after someone every five minutes so I can save their asses!"
There was a pause.
"Whoa," Sirius said finally, "calm down there, James. I've got an idea. Why don't we all go look for them together? That'll give us added defenses if we need it."
"And what if we get caught?" Bella pointed out. "I mean, are you really suggesting that at ten o'clock on New Year's Eve all--" she did some hasty head-counting, "--two, three, four... fourteen of us go traipsing through the halls of Hogwarts to bring back three people who probably just got sidetracked by another party or, oh, I don't know, Illith or something?"
She dropped her arms to her sides and shrugged.
"I just think we'll never get away with it," she finished lamely.
"Of course we will," Sirius said, "we always do."
That decided, the remaining fourteen partygoers tramped out of Gryffindor Tower in search of their three missing friends.
"Where're we going?" Remus hissed in a whisper that could have been heard all the way to London.
"I don't know," James replied as Theresa clamped a hand over Remus's mouth.
"Well, where do you think we should look first?" Essi whispered.
Just then the staircase they were walking up began to swing out.
It wobbled quite a bit, and Remus nearly fell off twice before the stairs finally slammed into place across the corridor, and everyone steadied each other against the impact.
There was a large, dark, heavy ironbound door in front of them.
"I guess that answers the question," James said softly.
"Eee," squeaked Eliza.
"Where does this go, again?" Audrea asked, her voice shaking.
"Not sure," Sirius replied, "we'll have to open it and find out."
So they opened it.
The door led to a dark hallway, the high stone walls dry but very, very cold.
In tiny clumps they filed in. Remus, trailing behind, was the last one to enter.
"Hey Remus, don't let that door--" James began, but it was too late.
"Whoops!"
Desperately Essi, Audrea, and Jezza tugged at the handle, but it was stuck fast. The students, their breath coming in blue-white puffs, tried to see up to the ceiling but the rafters were obscured by darkness.
They had only one direction to go in now, and that was forward.
"Never been down this hallway, I don't think," James murmured, "do you have the map, Padfoot?"
"No, I gave it to Moony to hold," Sirius replied. All of them turned to look at Remus, who was swaying from side to side and looked as though he might be ill.
"Good ol' Wormy ashked me 'fee could borrowower it for shum-- shom-- sommat--"
Sirius swore, shouting a word so vile that several of the more impressionable people gasped.
"Sirius!" Bella yelped. "Watch your mouth! Aiko's with us,"
Aiko wasn't paying attention, though. The poor girl was trembling, her thin arms wrapped tightly around herself.
"It's all right, Aiko," Rurika said, putting an arm around the tiny first-year. Aiko nodded miserably.
"D'you think they're somewhere in here?" Sirius asked.
"Who knows?" James answered. "Everyone have your wands? Well, most of you. Good. Light them up, everyone."
There were several hushed utterances of "lumos," and the tips of their wands glowed.
The darkness, however, clung to the corners, and the light from the wands did little to dispel the lurking shadows.
"What was that?" Lily squeaked, as something rustled in the dark and brushed past her ankle. Narcissa gasped and grabbed Brian's arm.
"What is it?"
"Probably just a rat," Brian muttered.
Sirius and James glanced at each other.
"Peter?" James called, but the only answer was the returning echo.
"C'mon, follow us," Sirius whispered, and he and James led the way down the dark corridor.
They followed along the hallway for what seemed like an eternity, every now and then checking the otherwise blank and featureless walls for a hidden door. There were no windows, no paintings, no statues or anything, just the straight line of the hallway leading ever onward.
When they spoke, they spoke in hushed tones muffled further by the overwhelming black silence of the corridor.
"My legs hurt," Eliza whined.
"Well," Essi said, trying to sound casual, "at least there aren't any twists or turns or corners where something could jump out at us--"
"Oh, please don't say that," Aiko whispered.
And then something jumped out at them.
Well, more precisely dropped. It leaped down from the rafters and landed in a cat-like crouch on the ground in front of them, then rose up to its full height, which was substantial.
"Magius!" Bella cried, clutching at her heart. "Why on earth did you surprise us like that?"
Aiko was shaking uncontrollably, and Remus had fallen over in a dead faint. Then again, they had all been expecting him to fall over in a dead faint at some point anyway.
"You will all," Magius said in the sort of tone that was very soft but could have carried across a space two times the size of the school Quidditch field, "be very quiet and come with me immediately, if you wish to stay alive."
"Why--" Rurika began, but you didn't muck about when someone gave you the sort of look Magius gave Rurika right then, and so James and Sirius hoisted the unconscious Remus up between them and floated him, using a Mobiliarmus charm, and they all hurried after Magius, who strode swiftly away on his long legs, his robes billowing out behind him.
Tripping on a loose flagstone, Aiko, who with her small size was having trouble keeping up, fell to the ground.
"My ankle," she murmured to Brian, who had turned back to help her.
"Don't worry," he said, lifting her up easily, "I can carry you."
They ran on in silence until they came to the end of the hallway.
There was a wall facing them.
"There's no way out, Magius," James whispered, but the pale young man tapped on a series of stones and the wall folded back on itself to reveal a small, bare room that was indistinguishable from the rest of the corridor. Rose was already inside, standing with her wand at the ready.
"I was wondering when you'd get back," she said, lowering her wand. "You worried me."
Magius ushered everyone into the room and they stood, crowded together, as he shut the entrance behind them.
"All right," Sirius whispered, "what's going on?"
"We're hiding," Magius said.
"From what?"
"You don't want to know."
"Yes," Sirius said, spinning around to stare Magius in the eye, "yes, actually I do want to know. What's the idea, scaring us all nearly to death then cramming us into this freaky-odd little place without even telling us what you're hiding us from?"
Magius sighed.
"Why don't you ask Theresa and Eliza?" Rose said. "I'm sure they could tell you."
All eyes were instantly locked on the two girls. The others began crowding in on them, forcing them to stand shoulder-to-shoulder against the wall.
"What's this all about, you two?" James demanded.
The frightened girls looked at each other.
"Well," began Theresa, "it's a long story--" "You had best tell it quickly then," Magius interrupted, folding his arms over his chest, "we haven't got much time."
They all glanced nervously at each other.
"It's like this," Eliza gushed, "you see, well, if you didn't already know that Theresa and I are spies--"
"Spies for who?" Narcissa asked, narrowing her eyes.
"For the good guys, for the good guys," Eliza continued hurriedly, "don't worry. Well, okay, we're spies and we were put on this very secret mission about three days ago. You see, Professor Dumbledore can't always trust all the people who are in the school, so he asked us to investigate one of the teachers--"
"Which one?" Bella queried.
"We can't say," Theresa said.
"You had better," Sirius threatened. Eliza cringed, but Theresa glared at him.
"Don't you threaten me, Sirius Black, I could take you down as quickly as--"
"I think you had better just get on with the story," Lily said.
"Right, right," Eliza said gratefully, and went on. "He asked us to keep an eye on Professor Blancmange--"
"We have a teacher called Professor Blancmange?"
"The Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography," Theresa said.
"We have a class called Cruel and Unusual Geography?!?"
"Never mind that," Theresa continued. "Dumbledore thought he was suspicious..."
"...And boy, was he right!" Eliza finished. "The man is right up there in You-Know-Who's inner circle."
"So what has that got to do with us?" Audrea asked.
"Well, that's where it gets a little complicated," Eliza said, "you see, Theresa and I discovered that Blancmange has been using Peter, without Peter knowing it, to get information about the school he can give to You-Know-Who, so he can infiltrate the defenses Dumbledore has put up around Hogwarts."
"Mon Dieu," Jezza breathed.
"Oh, --ing hell," Sirius said, "the Map!"
"There's really no call for that sort of language," Bella chided.
"Damn it," James murmured, "that's right, Peter has it."
"Yargg," Remus uttered, still unconsciously slumped in a heap on the floor.
"That still doesn't explain why we're trapped in here," Rurika said.
"Blancmange uses this hallway to conduct his meetings with You-Know-Who," Theresa said. "We suspect he's going to deliver some very important information to the Dark Lord tonight, possibly in this corridor."
"Like... a certain Map?" Eliza said, raising her eyebrows at Sirius and James.
"We've got to get that map back," Sirius said.
"No," Magius said, "we have to stay here unless we're discovered by Blancmange and his henchmen."
"Well, couldn't they discover us here?" Essi said.
"No, they don't know about this room yet," Theresa said.
"So... how did you know about it?" James asked Magius.
Magius looked away.
"I've been coming here for several years when I... need to be alone. I discovered the secret room a number of months ago. The chances of Blancmange or any of his cohorts having discovered it by now is extremely minimal. If they did-- believe me, I'd know."
"So what do we do now?" Bella asked.
"Wait, basically," Rose said.
So they waited. And waited. What seemed like lifetimes passed and the group of youths sprawled out on the cold stone floor, trying to make themselves as comfortable as possible.
"How's your ankle?" Lily asked Aiko sometime later.
"Okay," she said. "Not so bad anymore, now that the swelling's gone down a little."
Lily had used an ice-conjuring spell to fashion a make-shift compress for Aiko's leg.
"I hope Peter's okay," said Theresa, nudging Remus, who was snoring loudly.
"Does anyone know what time it is?" Sirius asked weakly, leaning against Bella. "I'm so bloody hungry."
Jezza checked her watch again.
"Five minutes after the last time you asked that, Sirius. It's eleven fifty-eight pee-em."
"Almost midnight," Audrea said softly.
After that there was an instant during which, brief though it was, a great many things happened.
First the wall of the room that opened onto the corridor disappeared, and a rather scrawny man wearing dark red robes and bad beard was staring down at them.
"A-ha!" He cried triumphantly, pointing his wand at them in preparation for a spell. "You can hide from me no more! Prepare to meet your doom, children--"
Then, in one swift movement, Magius stood, drew his wand, pointed it at the strange man, shouted,
"Morbidiarvus,"
and the man flew back in a blaze of blue light.
Immediately after that the room began to shake, the very walls vibrating as the vanished wall reappeared intact, and then there was a great rumbling noise like the falling of a million boulders and a horrible sensation of falling very, very fast in utter darkness.
They screamed, every one of them (well, maybe not Magius) and clung in desperation to the floor, trying to keep from being flung against the ceiling. The entire room felt as though it was rocking back and forth in its descent and the students were tossed helplessly against one another and the walls as they fell.
Finally there was a terrible jolt as they came abruptly to a stop and they lay, bruised and hoarse and panting for breath, in the blackness.
Remus maintained his consciousness long enough to say,
"Happy Bloody New Year," before passing out along with the rest of them.
It was some time before anyone spoke again.
"So..." James said, "...That was some party..."
"Mmnph," Sirius replied.
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Um," added Lily, her voice barely audible, "whoever's knee is digging into my kidneys, could you move it? I kind of need those."
"Oh, sorry," Bella muttered, repositioning herself ever so slightly. "That better?"
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Hey, everyone!" Eliza said brightly, "it's the first day of the new year! Isn't that amazing?!?"
This time a dozen or so voices joined Remus's:
"SHUT UP!"
Magius just shook his head.
"I get the feeling we've been here before," said Lily.
It was then that things got really sticky.
"Brian, could you move over just a bit?" Narcissa asked. "Only you're smushing me against the wall here."
"Sure, sorry," Brian answered, trying to give the Slytherin girl some space.
"No, I mean the other way," Narcissa said. "You're getting closer to me now."
"No I'm not," Brian replied, "I moved in the opposite direction. Now you're pushing into me."
"Well, I'm definitely being pushed against the wall, here," Narcissa argued, and I haven't moved..."
Brian hastily illuminated the tip of his wand and looked around.
"Oh, no," he said, "um, guys, I think you'd all better get up now."
They all got to their feet quickly, although Aiko and Remus both needed some assistance to stand, though for different reasons entirely.
"Oh, my skull feels like it's being crushed by a vice," Remus moaned, clutching his aching head.
"Well, it looks like it's gonna be in a few minutes," Sirius said, "the --ing walls are closing in!"
"Sirius, enough with the language!" Bella said, then looked around.
"Oh, f---" she whispered.
The walls were, undoubtedly, closing in on them, as was the ceiling. The room got smaller by the second, and the seventeen people trapped inside were forced to squeeze themselves together as their doom got literally closer and closer, the screech of grinding stone filling their ears.
"I want you all to know I love you," Bella said, although her voice was muffled due to her face being pressed against Sirius's shoulder. "Especially you, Sirius, because you will always be my true love no matter what, and you, Lily, because you're the best friend I've ever had--"
"Oh, you too, Bella," Lily cried, tears streaming down her face, "I'm so sorry for all the rotten things I ever said or did--"
"Me, too," Bella said.
"Lily," James said, his arms around her to shelter her from the crushing stone, "I never really said it before but I want you to know that I've always--"
The noise stopped. The pressure ceased.
Then the noise began again, but this time the pressure was decreasing. The walls and ceiling were moving back.
When they had returned to their original positions the secret door opened once again and they all sprang to their feet, those with wands ready to strike at the figure standing there, which was--
"PETER?!?"
"Hey, guys," Peter said sheepishly, giving a small wave. "You can come out now. It's okay, everything's safe."
"But what-- but how-- but, but--" James stuttered as they all rushed to be free of the horrible room.
"I'll clear everything up for you when we get back to the Common Room," Peter said, and handed James a piece of rolled up paper. "Here's the Map, by the way. I had it the whole time."
Once they had all returned to Gryffindor Tower and settled themselves with cups of tea and warm mulled cider, Peter explained everything.
"You WHAT?" Sirius screamed, nearly spilling his cider all over his lap.
"You're kidding," Remus said, "you're absolutely kidding. This was all a JOKE?"
"You bastard! You utter, utter BASTARD!" James cried, lunging forward to wring Peter's neck. Theresa put a hand out to hold him back.
"Hey, don't put all the blame on him," she said, "we were involved, too."
"Unbelievable," Remus said, "un-bloody-believable. Every single one of you was in on it, trying to get one over on the Marauders."
"That's right," Lily said sweetly. "You three were so terrified, it was hilarious, really." "But all the rest of you-- I mean, you looked so frightened," James said.
"You think the three of you are the only ones who can pull off a convincing practical joke? You've done it so many times that the rest of us have really learned a thing or two."
"Don't be mad," Bella cooed to Sirius, "it was only a joke. No one was seriously hurt."
"Aiko sprained her ankle!"
"That's simple enough to fake," Lily said. "A little cosmetic charming and it looked like her ankle was completely swollen. The best part is, that was her touch. She wanted to do it."
Aiko smiled shyly and Sirius rolled his eyes.
"And Wormtail masterminded the whole thing? That's the best thing I've heard all year."
"But I still don't understand how you managed to find that weird corridor with the hidden room in it, and we never found it," Remus persisted.
Magius raised his index finger idly.
"Actually, that is where I usually go to be alone. And if I ever find any of you in it again, you will be very sorry indeed."
He flashed a very small, very brief smile that never reached his eyes and the others laughed, but it was half-hearted. You could never tell with Magius.
"And how did you get the room to drop? And the walls to close in?"
"That," Rose said, "is a secret."
"And that guy? Who was that guy, anyway? The one with the bad beard."
"You know," Peter mused, "I don't know. None of us planned that part. I'm sure glad he showed up when he did, though. It added a really nice touch."
Remus's eyes crossed briefly, and he held his forehead.
Sirius stood up, stretched, and looked around the room.
"Well," he said, "what a bleeding fabulous way to start the new year. I've got to give you credit though, Wormtail: that was the prank to end all pranks."
"But, but, but--" Remus began, "how did he-- I mean-- I just don't understand--"
But the others were already shuffling off to bed.
"C'mon, Moony," James said, hauling Remus off the chair and pushing him towards the stairs that led to their dormitory, "let's try and get some sleep, all right?"
Remus followed James reluctantly up the stairs but, just before he reached the first landing, he looked down at the Common Room still strewn with the trappings of their unforgettable party, and sighed.
"Worst. Ending. Ever."
THE END
A/N: It occurred to me that we have three characters with "black" somewhere in their last names. Therefore, according to my twisted logic, everyone whose last name I either couldn't remember or don't know automatically became "(Insert first name here) Black" or similar. The nicknames are random Simpsons references, except for "black-blackity-black-black," which was just because I was feeling loopy.
Gashou is a word I looked up and, although the thing SAID it means Happy New Year, I could be using it the wrong way and so I apologize in advance to any Japanese speakers in case I've inadvertently mangled your language, in which case I give you full rights to beat me within an inch of my life in order to teach me a lesson. Please, please, please beat me within an inch of my life in order to teach me a lesson. Er. Perhaps I've said too much there.
I also tried really hard to make mention of all the playing characters at least once. Everyone I used is listed in the Dramatis Personae beneath, so if you don't see your character's name there you can stop reading because you won't be in it, and I know the only reason people read these things is to see what clever stuff their character said or did. But if you're NOT on that list, and thus not in the story, I sincerely apologize for leaving you out and I honestly didn't mean to. I do so hate feeling left out, and would not want to inflict those feelings on anyone else.
This little tale was approximately three day's rushed work, and not all the elements fit together too well because I wanted to fit all our playing characters in. For example, does it make sense that although select students from all the houses are invited to the Gryffindor N.Y.E. party, the only ones I mention are Brian and Narcissa? No. Does it make sense that basically everyone (excepting Aiko) is a fifth year, and no students from any other years are mentioned, including prefects? No. Does it make sense that they're having a huge party and none of the teachers have found out about it? No. Does it make sense that all these kids are still at Hogwarts during a time which should obviously be the Winter Break? No. Does it make sense that Joe keeps trying to bring Mundungus Fletcher into the story and no one gives two craps? No. But at this point I figure it's a given that, for anything involving me, you have to put your sense somewhere in a dusty, hidden corner of your mind. Which is what you'll have to do if you want to make it through the story. In any case, here's my completely stupid and pointless effort at the BTD New Year's Special and if you don't enjoy reading it, well then I don't blame you. Frankly I didn't enjoy writing it that much, either. And yes, the story actually IS longer than the Author's Note, but if you've made it this far then why not go all the way?
Dramatis Personae:
Rurika - Emiru Adaichi
Eliza Morwen Black
Essiana Black
Jezzabella Black
Rose Black
Sirius Black
Magius "Blackula" Blackstar
Theresa Delmonte
Narcissa De Winter
Lily Evans
Arabella Figg
Audrea Kerouic
Remus "Black-blackity-black-black" Lupin
Aiko Otonashi
Peter "Blunch-black of Blotre Blame" Pettigrew
James Potter
Brian Richard Thomas
"So..." James said, "...That was some party..."
"Mmnph," Sirius replied.
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Um," added Lily, her voice barely audible, "whoever's knee is digging into my kidneys, could you move it? I kind of need those."
"Oh, sorry," Bella muttered, repositioning herself ever so slightly. "That better?"
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Hey, everyone!" Eliza said brightly, "it's the first day of the new year! Isn't that awesome?!?"
This time a dozen or so voices joined Remus's:
"SHUT UP!"
Magius just shook his head.
"I get the feeling we've been here before," said Lily.
It was then that things got really sticky.
Everything had started out innocently enough: the New Year's Eve party was turning out to be quite a success. The decorations, courtesy of the girls, looked fabulous; there were streamers, sparklers, confetti and lanterns everywhere. They had managed to conjure up elaborate headdresses for everyone, and Sirius particularly enjoyed flaunting the feather-and-rhinestones confection fastened under his chin.
Remus had refused to wear one, but James and Sirius had ganged up on him and so he was currently sporting, very cautiously, something with a number of active sparklers kept on his head by several complicated knots.
Magius had also refused a hat, but they hadn't argued because frankly no one wanted to mess with Magius.
The Marauders had made an early-morning trip to Hogsmeade and had returned with snacks and drinks a-plenty, plus a hearty supply of butterbeer. They were keeping Remus away from the butterbeer.
They always kept Remus away from the butterbeer. They had had experiences.
The generous spirit of the holiday had gotten to everyone, and they were admitting Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, even one or two of the more tolerable Slytherins to Gryffindor Tower for the big celebration.
"I can't thank you enough," Narcissa, a Slytherin, was saying to Rose. "I think this is really great of you all, letting us into your common room. This party is great!"
"Yeah, I just hope none of the teachers find out, Brian added. He was wearing a large, stuffed Ravenclaw eagle on his head.
"I wouldn't worry about that," Sirius said slyly, "a few Confuto charms around the Tower are taking care of the noise factor. Now if we can just keep some of the more loud-mouthed souls from spilling we should be home free."
"Gashou!" Said Rurika.
"God bless you," James answered.
"No, that means Happy New Year in Japanese."
"Oh, thank you. Achoo to you too, Rurika."
Rurika rolled her eyes; nearby, little Aiko giggled.
"Hey," Bella said suddenly, "where's Peter?"
The others looked at her blankly.
"Peter?" James said. "Oh, Peter! Right, right... Dunno. Could be anywhere, I suppose."
"Does anyone care?" Sirius snorted, and James elbowed him in the ribs.
"Be nice. He's our friend, remember?"
"Aw, I'm just having a bit of fun, Prongs," Sirius protested.
"Ha, PRONGS!" Remus guffawed, "that's so dirty, ha hahaha ha--"
Diving at Remus, Theresa wrestled the bottle of butterbeer from his hands.
"Oh, no you don't," she said, snatching the nearly empty bottle away. "How did you get your hands on this?"
Remus sulked.
"Well I, for one, think someone should go get Peter," Lily announced. "He shouldn't be missing this party, it's too much fun. And on New Year's Eve, too!"
"I'll second that," James said, "someone go find Peter."
"I'll go after Petey-pop," Remus slurred, but Lily shook her head.
"That would be disastrous beyond belief," she said.
There was a sudden, cold silence in the room, and an overwhelming sense that something portentous had just taken place.
"I'll go get him," Magius offered, which didn't do much to alleviate the weird feeling in the air.
"I'll go with you," said Rose, removing her tiara and placing it on a table before following Magius out of the portrait hole.
"Nothing like a Gryffindor party, eh?" Sirius questioned the silence, in a vague attempt to lighten the mood.
Fifteen minutes later the party was back in full swing, and though neither Peter nor the two searchers had returned the music was blaring, the laughter was raucous, the drinks were flowing freely and not much of anyone noticed their absence.
"Should auld acquaintance be forgot," Sirius and James warbled, standing on a table with their arms around each other's shoulders, frothy mugs of butterbeer sloshing in the air.
"Not time for that yet," Jezza laughed, checking her watch. "We've another... Oh, a good three hours 'til it's time to sing that song!"
"Three hours already?" Bella murmured, resting her head on Lily's shoulder. "Where does the time go?"
Eliza, perched next to the two girls, poked Lily, who was snoring gently.
"You can't go to sleep yet," she chided, "you have to wait for midnight!"
"Yeah, you've got to watch the ball drop!" Brian said.
Audrea and Narcissa, who had been talking to him, stared.
"That's disgusting, Brian," Narcissa giggled, but Audrea's expression was deadpan when she said,
"Are you coming the raw prawn?"
"I really hope not," Brian answered worriedly before continuing, "I guess it's just an American thing. No, really, every year at Times Square in New York they drop this big, glittery globe. They start it ten seconds to midnight, and when it gets to the end of its descent it lights up and there are fireworks and confetti and everything. It's great. But I guess you guys don't do that over here. Come to think of it, you don't have televisions to watch it on, either."
"Nope, no TV for the magic bunch!" Remus cried happily, then belched. He was laying on the floor draped in streamers, hat askew, nursing a bottle of butterbeer that no one had been able to keep away from him and playing with the tiara Rose had left behind.
"Ah," Sirius said, arching an eyebrow, "but I think we may manage some fireworks of our own."
"Woo-hoo, honey!" Bella laughed, and everyone cheered, giddy with anticipation. It was certainly going to be a night to remember, they all agreed, although in some cases they'd be lucky if they could manage to remember where their pants had gone.
Lily sat up straight very suddenly, knocking Bella over.
"Crap!" She said, staring at Remus.
"What?" James asked, hopping off the table to get another drink.
"Remus, where'd you get that?"
"Ge' what?" Remus said, head lolling from side to side. "The butterbeer? A little pixie gave it to me..."
"Remus, you're so trashed, the tiara."
"Oh, sparklies!" Remus cried, "sparkle, sparkle, sparkle--"
"Rose left that when she and Magius went to find Peter," Lily said, "and none of them are back yet. What do you think happened to them?"
Theresa and Eliza exchanged a worried glance.
"Uh-oh," they said in unison.
"Uh-oh what?" James said suspiciously.
"Nothing," Eliza replied a bit too hastily, "um, we'll go get them. Don't worry about a thing."
"Right," Theresa added, "right. Er. We'll just be... going... now..."
"Not so fast!" James cried.
"What?" Theresa said innocently.
"I sense an adventure coming on here," James said, "and I'm going to put my foot down now. If you two go after Magius, Rose, and Peter, then I just know you'll wind up getting into some huge fiasco and then the REST of us will have to come to your rescue and I don't really feel like doing that. It's New Year's Eve, people. I'd like to enjoy myself for once, instead of having to run off after someone every five minutes so I can save their asses!"
There was a pause.
"Whoa," Sirius said finally, "calm down there, James. I've got an idea. Why don't we all go look for them together? That'll give us added defenses if we need it."
"And what if we get caught?" Bella pointed out. "I mean, are you really suggesting that at ten o'clock on New Year's Eve all--" she did some hasty head-counting, "--two, three, four... fourteen of us go traipsing through the halls of Hogwarts to bring back three people who probably just got sidetracked by another party or, oh, I don't know, Illith or something?"
She dropped her arms to her sides and shrugged.
"I just think we'll never get away with it," she finished lamely.
"Of course we will," Sirius said, "we always do."
That decided, the remaining fourteen partygoers tramped out of Gryffindor Tower in search of their three missing friends.
"Where're we going?" Remus hissed in a whisper that could have been heard all the way to London.
"I don't know," James replied as Theresa clamped a hand over Remus's mouth.
"Well, where do you think we should look first?" Essi whispered.
Just then the staircase they were walking up began to swing out.
It wobbled quite a bit, and Remus nearly fell off twice before the stairs finally slammed into place across the corridor, and everyone steadied each other against the impact.
There was a large, dark, heavy ironbound door in front of them.
"I guess that answers the question," James said softly.
"Eee," squeaked Eliza.
"Where does this go, again?" Audrea asked, her voice shaking.
"Not sure," Sirius replied, "we'll have to open it and find out."
So they opened it.
The door led to a dark hallway, the high stone walls dry but very, very cold.
In tiny clumps they filed in. Remus, trailing behind, was the last one to enter.
"Hey Remus, don't let that door--" James began, but it was too late.
"Whoops!"
Desperately Essi, Audrea, and Jezza tugged at the handle, but it was stuck fast. The students, their breath coming in blue-white puffs, tried to see up to the ceiling but the rafters were obscured by darkness.
They had only one direction to go in now, and that was forward.
"Never been down this hallway, I don't think," James murmured, "do you have the map, Padfoot?"
"No, I gave it to Moony to hold," Sirius replied. All of them turned to look at Remus, who was swaying from side to side and looked as though he might be ill.
"Good ol' Wormy ashked me 'fee could borrowower it for shum-- shom-- sommat--"
Sirius swore, shouting a word so vile that several of the more impressionable people gasped.
"Sirius!" Bella yelped. "Watch your mouth! Aiko's with us,"
Aiko wasn't paying attention, though. The poor girl was trembling, her thin arms wrapped tightly around herself.
"It's all right, Aiko," Rurika said, putting an arm around the tiny first-year. Aiko nodded miserably.
"D'you think they're somewhere in here?" Sirius asked.
"Who knows?" James answered. "Everyone have your wands? Well, most of you. Good. Light them up, everyone."
There were several hushed utterances of "lumos," and the tips of their wands glowed.
The darkness, however, clung to the corners, and the light from the wands did little to dispel the lurking shadows.
"What was that?" Lily squeaked, as something rustled in the dark and brushed past her ankle. Narcissa gasped and grabbed Brian's arm.
"What is it?"
"Probably just a rat," Brian muttered.
Sirius and James glanced at each other.
"Peter?" James called, but the only answer was the returning echo.
"C'mon, follow us," Sirius whispered, and he and James led the way down the dark corridor.
They followed along the hallway for what seemed like an eternity, every now and then checking the otherwise blank and featureless walls for a hidden door. There were no windows, no paintings, no statues or anything, just the straight line of the hallway leading ever onward.
When they spoke, they spoke in hushed tones muffled further by the overwhelming black silence of the corridor.
"My legs hurt," Eliza whined.
"Well," Essi said, trying to sound casual, "at least there aren't any twists or turns or corners where something could jump out at us--"
"Oh, please don't say that," Aiko whispered.
And then something jumped out at them.
Well, more precisely dropped. It leaped down from the rafters and landed in a cat-like crouch on the ground in front of them, then rose up to its full height, which was substantial.
"Magius!" Bella cried, clutching at her heart. "Why on earth did you surprise us like that?"
Aiko was shaking uncontrollably, and Remus had fallen over in a dead faint. Then again, they had all been expecting him to fall over in a dead faint at some point anyway.
"You will all," Magius said in the sort of tone that was very soft but could have carried across a space two times the size of the school Quidditch field, "be very quiet and come with me immediately, if you wish to stay alive."
"Why--" Rurika began, but you didn't muck about when someone gave you the sort of look Magius gave Rurika right then, and so James and Sirius hoisted the unconscious Remus up between them and floated him, using a Mobiliarmus charm, and they all hurried after Magius, who strode swiftly away on his long legs, his robes billowing out behind him.
Tripping on a loose flagstone, Aiko, who with her small size was having trouble keeping up, fell to the ground.
"My ankle," she murmured to Brian, who had turned back to help her.
"Don't worry," he said, lifting her up easily, "I can carry you."
They ran on in silence until they came to the end of the hallway.
There was a wall facing them.
"There's no way out, Magius," James whispered, but the pale young man tapped on a series of stones and the wall folded back on itself to reveal a small, bare room that was indistinguishable from the rest of the corridor. Rose was already inside, standing with her wand at the ready.
"I was wondering when you'd get back," she said, lowering her wand. "You worried me."
Magius ushered everyone into the room and they stood, crowded together, as he shut the entrance behind them.
"All right," Sirius whispered, "what's going on?"
"We're hiding," Magius said.
"From what?"
"You don't want to know."
"Yes," Sirius said, spinning around to stare Magius in the eye, "yes, actually I do want to know. What's the idea, scaring us all nearly to death then cramming us into this freaky-odd little place without even telling us what you're hiding us from?"
Magius sighed.
"Why don't you ask Theresa and Eliza?" Rose said. "I'm sure they could tell you."
All eyes were instantly locked on the two girls. The others began crowding in on them, forcing them to stand shoulder-to-shoulder against the wall.
"What's this all about, you two?" James demanded.
The frightened girls looked at each other.
"Well," began Theresa, "it's a long story--" "You had best tell it quickly then," Magius interrupted, folding his arms over his chest, "we haven't got much time."
They all glanced nervously at each other.
"It's like this," Eliza gushed, "you see, well, if you didn't already know that Theresa and I are spies--"
"Spies for who?" Narcissa asked, narrowing her eyes.
"For the good guys, for the good guys," Eliza continued hurriedly, "don't worry. Well, okay, we're spies and we were put on this very secret mission about three days ago. You see, Professor Dumbledore can't always trust all the people who are in the school, so he asked us to investigate one of the teachers--"
"Which one?" Bella queried.
"We can't say," Theresa said.
"You had better," Sirius threatened. Eliza cringed, but Theresa glared at him.
"Don't you threaten me, Sirius Black, I could take you down as quickly as--"
"I think you had better just get on with the story," Lily said.
"Right, right," Eliza said gratefully, and went on. "He asked us to keep an eye on Professor Blancmange--"
"We have a teacher called Professor Blancmange?"
"The Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography," Theresa said.
"We have a class called Cruel and Unusual Geography?!?"
"Never mind that," Theresa continued. "Dumbledore thought he was suspicious..."
"...And boy, was he right!" Eliza finished. "The man is right up there in You-Know-Who's inner circle."
"So what has that got to do with us?" Audrea asked.
"Well, that's where it gets a little complicated," Eliza said, "you see, Theresa and I discovered that Blancmange has been using Peter, without Peter knowing it, to get information about the school he can give to You-Know-Who, so he can infiltrate the defenses Dumbledore has put up around Hogwarts."
"Mon Dieu," Jezza breathed.
"Oh, --ing hell," Sirius said, "the Map!"
"There's really no call for that sort of language," Bella chided.
"Damn it," James murmured, "that's right, Peter has it."
"Yargg," Remus uttered, still unconsciously slumped in a heap on the floor.
"That still doesn't explain why we're trapped in here," Rurika said.
"Blancmange uses this hallway to conduct his meetings with You-Know-Who," Theresa said. "We suspect he's going to deliver some very important information to the Dark Lord tonight, possibly in this corridor."
"Like... a certain Map?" Eliza said, raising her eyebrows at Sirius and James.
"We've got to get that map back," Sirius said.
"No," Magius said, "we have to stay here unless we're discovered by Blancmange and his henchmen."
"Well, couldn't they discover us here?" Essi said.
"No, they don't know about this room yet," Theresa said.
"So... how did you know about it?" James asked Magius.
Magius looked away.
"I've been coming here for several years when I... need to be alone. I discovered the secret room a number of months ago. The chances of Blancmange or any of his cohorts having discovered it by now is extremely minimal. If they did-- believe me, I'd know."
"So what do we do now?" Bella asked.
"Wait, basically," Rose said.
So they waited. And waited. What seemed like lifetimes passed and the group of youths sprawled out on the cold stone floor, trying to make themselves as comfortable as possible.
"How's your ankle?" Lily asked Aiko sometime later.
"Okay," she said. "Not so bad anymore, now that the swelling's gone down a little."
Lily had used an ice-conjuring spell to fashion a make-shift compress for Aiko's leg.
"I hope Peter's okay," said Theresa, nudging Remus, who was snoring loudly.
"Does anyone know what time it is?" Sirius asked weakly, leaning against Bella. "I'm so bloody hungry."
Jezza checked her watch again.
"Five minutes after the last time you asked that, Sirius. It's eleven fifty-eight pee-em."
"Almost midnight," Audrea said softly.
After that there was an instant during which, brief though it was, a great many things happened.
First the wall of the room that opened onto the corridor disappeared, and a rather scrawny man wearing dark red robes and bad beard was staring down at them.
"A-ha!" He cried triumphantly, pointing his wand at them in preparation for a spell. "You can hide from me no more! Prepare to meet your doom, children--"
Then, in one swift movement, Magius stood, drew his wand, pointed it at the strange man, shouted,
"Morbidiarvus,"
and the man flew back in a blaze of blue light.
Immediately after that the room began to shake, the very walls vibrating as the vanished wall reappeared intact, and then there was a great rumbling noise like the falling of a million boulders and a horrible sensation of falling very, very fast in utter darkness.
They screamed, every one of them (well, maybe not Magius) and clung in desperation to the floor, trying to keep from being flung against the ceiling. The entire room felt as though it was rocking back and forth in its descent and the students were tossed helplessly against one another and the walls as they fell.
Finally there was a terrible jolt as they came abruptly to a stop and they lay, bruised and hoarse and panting for breath, in the blackness.
Remus maintained his consciousness long enough to say,
"Happy Bloody New Year," before passing out along with the rest of them.
It was some time before anyone spoke again.
"So..." James said, "...That was some party..."
"Mmnph," Sirius replied.
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Um," added Lily, her voice barely audible, "whoever's knee is digging into my kidneys, could you move it? I kind of need those."
"Oh, sorry," Bella muttered, repositioning herself ever so slightly. "That better?"
"Shut up!" Said Remus.
"Hey, everyone!" Eliza said brightly, "it's the first day of the new year! Isn't that amazing?!?"
This time a dozen or so voices joined Remus's:
"SHUT UP!"
Magius just shook his head.
"I get the feeling we've been here before," said Lily.
It was then that things got really sticky.
"Brian, could you move over just a bit?" Narcissa asked. "Only you're smushing me against the wall here."
"Sure, sorry," Brian answered, trying to give the Slytherin girl some space.
"No, I mean the other way," Narcissa said. "You're getting closer to me now."
"No I'm not," Brian replied, "I moved in the opposite direction. Now you're pushing into me."
"Well, I'm definitely being pushed against the wall, here," Narcissa argued, and I haven't moved..."
Brian hastily illuminated the tip of his wand and looked around.
"Oh, no," he said, "um, guys, I think you'd all better get up now."
They all got to their feet quickly, although Aiko and Remus both needed some assistance to stand, though for different reasons entirely.
"Oh, my skull feels like it's being crushed by a vice," Remus moaned, clutching his aching head.
"Well, it looks like it's gonna be in a few minutes," Sirius said, "the --ing walls are closing in!"
"Sirius, enough with the language!" Bella said, then looked around.
"Oh, f---" she whispered.
The walls were, undoubtedly, closing in on them, as was the ceiling. The room got smaller by the second, and the seventeen people trapped inside were forced to squeeze themselves together as their doom got literally closer and closer, the screech of grinding stone filling their ears.
"I want you all to know I love you," Bella said, although her voice was muffled due to her face being pressed against Sirius's shoulder. "Especially you, Sirius, because you will always be my true love no matter what, and you, Lily, because you're the best friend I've ever had--"
"Oh, you too, Bella," Lily cried, tears streaming down her face, "I'm so sorry for all the rotten things I ever said or did--"
"Me, too," Bella said.
"Lily," James said, his arms around her to shelter her from the crushing stone, "I never really said it before but I want you to know that I've always--"
The noise stopped. The pressure ceased.
Then the noise began again, but this time the pressure was decreasing. The walls and ceiling were moving back.
When they had returned to their original positions the secret door opened once again and they all sprang to their feet, those with wands ready to strike at the figure standing there, which was--
"PETER?!?"
"Hey, guys," Peter said sheepishly, giving a small wave. "You can come out now. It's okay, everything's safe."
"But what-- but how-- but, but--" James stuttered as they all rushed to be free of the horrible room.
"I'll clear everything up for you when we get back to the Common Room," Peter said, and handed James a piece of rolled up paper. "Here's the Map, by the way. I had it the whole time."
Once they had all returned to Gryffindor Tower and settled themselves with cups of tea and warm mulled cider, Peter explained everything.
"You WHAT?" Sirius screamed, nearly spilling his cider all over his lap.
"You're kidding," Remus said, "you're absolutely kidding. This was all a JOKE?"
"You bastard! You utter, utter BASTARD!" James cried, lunging forward to wring Peter's neck. Theresa put a hand out to hold him back.
"Hey, don't put all the blame on him," she said, "we were involved, too."
"Unbelievable," Remus said, "un-bloody-believable. Every single one of you was in on it, trying to get one over on the Marauders."
"That's right," Lily said sweetly. "You three were so terrified, it was hilarious, really." "But all the rest of you-- I mean, you looked so frightened," James said.
"You think the three of you are the only ones who can pull off a convincing practical joke? You've done it so many times that the rest of us have really learned a thing or two."
"Don't be mad," Bella cooed to Sirius, "it was only a joke. No one was seriously hurt."
"Aiko sprained her ankle!"
"That's simple enough to fake," Lily said. "A little cosmetic charming and it looked like her ankle was completely swollen. The best part is, that was her touch. She wanted to do it."
Aiko smiled shyly and Sirius rolled his eyes.
"And Wormtail masterminded the whole thing? That's the best thing I've heard all year."
"But I still don't understand how you managed to find that weird corridor with the hidden room in it, and we never found it," Remus persisted.
Magius raised his index finger idly.
"Actually, that is where I usually go to be alone. And if I ever find any of you in it again, you will be very sorry indeed."
He flashed a very small, very brief smile that never reached his eyes and the others laughed, but it was half-hearted. You could never tell with Magius.
"And how did you get the room to drop? And the walls to close in?"
"That," Rose said, "is a secret."
"And that guy? Who was that guy, anyway? The one with the bad beard."
"You know," Peter mused, "I don't know. None of us planned that part. I'm sure glad he showed up when he did, though. It added a really nice touch."
Remus's eyes crossed briefly, and he held his forehead.
Sirius stood up, stretched, and looked around the room.
"Well," he said, "what a bleeding fabulous way to start the new year. I've got to give you credit though, Wormtail: that was the prank to end all pranks."
"But, but, but--" Remus began, "how did he-- I mean-- I just don't understand--"
But the others were already shuffling off to bed.
"C'mon, Moony," James said, hauling Remus off the chair and pushing him towards the stairs that led to their dormitory, "let's try and get some sleep, all right?"
Remus followed James reluctantly up the stairs but, just before he reached the first landing, he looked down at the Common Room still strewn with the trappings of their unforgettable party, and sighed.
"Worst. Ending. Ever."
THE END
