Setting: The Gryffindor common room after Harry has just performed a particularly wizardy feat, and defeated some evil.
Ron looks at Harry admiringly. "Harry, you're so brave."
Harry blushes a little. "Thanks Ron."
"Oh you're so cute when you're embarassed!" Ron says and winks.
Harry smiles at this comment and looks down.
Ron blushes a little and says, "Sorry. Can I play with your hair, Harry?"
Harry smiles again and says, "Sure Ronnie-kins. I mean, Ron."
Ron begins playing with Harry's wild hair, and next thing you know he's put it in piggy-tails.
Hermione enters the room and looks utterly confused. She starts to say something, but is interrupted by Harry.
"Oh hush Hermi, we were only playing beauty shop!"
"Without me?!" Hermione exclaims.
Ron's voice changes tone. "Sorry, Big H."
"It's aight, Notorious R.O.N." she mumbles.
And they all giggle happily.
Suddenly the door busts open and Hagrid is towering above them all. He smells funny.
"Hey yeh crazy kids, clean up this ghetto room," he says, in a drunken voice.
"What?" Harry ponders the request. He is a bit confused.
"Shut up, fool," Hagrid mumbles under his breath.
Big H whispers to Notorious R.O.N "I've never seen him act this way before."
Harry is PMS-ing. He yells, "EVERYBODY OUT! Except Ronnie-kins -- I mean, Ron. He can stay."
Hermione and Hagrid stagger out of the room.
Ron gets a serious look on his face. "So, Harry. Who IS your best friend?"
"What sort of a question is that?" Harry wonders aloud.
"Just wondering."
"Well," Harry begins, "Big H. is big pimpin, and Hagrid's pretty sweet."
"What about me?" Ron says in an anxious voice.
Harry looks a bit taken aback. "Well, you're pretty special to me..."
All of the sudden Hermione comes back in the room. "Am I interrupting something here?" she asks suspiciously.
Both young wizards yell, "NO, GO AWAY!"
"Oh I already know all about you two!" Hermione says threateningly.
Both boys make horrified gasping sounds. Could she really know?
And she yells as loud as possible, "EVERYONE KNOWS THAT WIZARDS ARE A BIT QUEER!" And then, in a small frightened voice, she says, "but can't you see I love you?"
