Warning: Language, underage drinking kind of, a little child abuse.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Summary: Draco is given choices and he knows the right one.
Godric's Hollow
Chapter 4: Join
I watch my father as he walks up the driveway. My father hates to walk, why he doesn't apparate I don't know. I watch him from my upstairs bedroom. He looks tired and sad. The war is taking its toll on everyone. Unlike popular opinion my father is not a bad man. Yes he's strict, he has certain beliefs, that I as his only son sometime don't even understand. He believes that Malfoy's are superior to all others, except maybe a few. He believes in purebloods, family lines. For as much as he hates other wizard families he admires that they have remained loyal to the pureblood lines. I can't really say I disagree with this. I haven't seen any evidence otherwise.
"Draco" he bellows from the downstairs entranceway. I take off at a run, I like to hear what happens at the Deatheaters meetings. He tells me everything so that I learn of their ways. I haven't been asked to join yet though I know the time will be soon. Probably on my 15th birthday, in one weeks time.
I make my way down the steps when I catch sight of my father's face. He looks at me, there's something I've never seen in his eyes before. It's not rage or anger, he looks as if he's been crying. His face is red and puffy. I inch down the steps, he takes my hand and gently leads me to his private study. I've only been in this room once before. I was in serious trouble then.
He sits in his seat behind the desk still clutching my hand. He grasps for the other hand, looking at the ground and pulls me into an embrace. He's hugging me. I think he's crying. He hugs me so tight my arms are pined to my side. I don't know what to do, it's been a long time since I've been hugged by my father. He ruffles my hair, running his hands threw it petting me. He pulls me more toward him, on to his lap. I haven't sat on his lap since I was a child. "Father" I whisper "what's wrong".
He gives me another quick squeeze, he smells like whisky, like the wind outside, like he's been sitting at a fireplace, for hours.
"Vince and Greg are dead" he whispers. I look at him in shocked silence. What did he say? 'NO, No…'
I howl in pain. He pulls me into a tight hug. My body shakes as I collapse into him. I've crumble into a little ball. He's holding me, rocking me. My mother stands in the doorway looking at the ground. I don't know how long he held me.
****
I wake in my bed. My best friends dead. I can't fathom the idea, is it really true? I've known them since we were babies. I leap out of my bed, still in my cloths from earlier. I burst into my parent's room. My father instinctively pulls his wand. "Draco" he says sleepily realizing it his son.
"How did it happen" I'm so angry now, I want revenge, I will have revenge.
He knows my real question, is not this. He sits up, and gives me a real look. He's looking at me as if it's the first time in a long time he's looked. He knows I want to hurt this person. To give them back 10 folds what they have done to my friends. It will not be pain free, I don't want to just curse them and they're dead. I want to torture, to inflict pain. I will be brutal, I will kill. My father smiles at me, reminding me that their parents will want some revenge of there own. He sends me off to bed with promises that in the morning the training will begin that I will soon join this elite group.
I go to my room but I can not sleep, I'm to full of energy. I pace the room, whispering the forbidden curse "Imperio" I say it over and over again. I want to learn, I want to have the power to control, to be the one that will determine your lifes out come. "Crucio…Crucio" that's my favorite, to inflict pain, to see someone on the ground begging for it to stop. I chuckle to myself.
The last one the most feared one. "Avada Kedavra" I say this one the softest, at first I doubt I even said it. I don't say it again. I don't know what happens when it's just whispered and I don't want to find out. There's no counter cure, no throwing the curse off, it's just death. You can't fight it, just death.
Draco finally stops pacing and settles into bed. Yes in the morning this will be settled. His father will allow him to perform the forbidden curses. He will join the Deatheaters. He lies there in bed and pulls up his shirtsleeve. Looking at the pale skin that is there. Soon it will bare the mark of membership. Soon he will be part of the group.
As he settles into sleep, there is no thought of what is to come. He does not think of his destiny. Yet he does not sleep easily, for at last second before he is conquered by sleep one-thought pops into his head. And at what price is your membership.
****
The Malfoy property was one of the oldest properties in all of Great Britain. The property has been in the Malfoy family for over 29 generations. It was charmed long ago so that underage wizards and dark arts magic could be performed on the property with out detection form the meddling Ministry of Magic. The Malfoy manor is a pleasant 3 story house with servant quarters, a garage was added 5 decades ago. Swimming pool, a chain of small lakes connected threw underground tunnels. Hills stood on either side of the house. A large pitch that was a make shift quidditch field, was the back lot. This is where father and son stood now.
Draco stood outside with his father both with their wands raised. Draco aimed at the rabbit cage "Avada Kedavra" he yelled. The rabbit twitched, but did not die.
"Concentrate Draco, Concentrate", Lucius smirked "again".
Draco locked eyes with the rabbit "Avada Kedavra" he screamed. The rabbit fell over dead. Draco slowly lowered his wand arm. He father clapped him merrily on the back "Good job, Draco, when you turn 15 in a weeks times there should be any problem with you joining us."
Draco could barley hear what was being said he walked to the rabbits cage. He reached his hand out to touch the rabbit. "Never touch what you kill Draco," Lucius dropped Draco's hand "never". Lucius studied his son. Draco couldn't resist. He opened the cage and lifted the rabbit out, it was soft, still warm. He turned it over and over, not a mark on it, just dead in his arms. He looked at his father "It gets easier each time you do it. Just remember kill or be killed. They won't think twice about hitting you with the curse, and BAM your dead."
Draco put the rabbit back in it's cage 'kill or be killed' he muttered. His father said it often, but now he understood, now the words had meaning, now he knew the consequences. Draco ran for the house into his room and stripped of the offending cloths and crawled into bed. He drew the curtains around him tightly. The rabbit was a pure innocent thing, maybe it was different if you killed a person who was attacking you. Maybe it was different when your own life was at risk. Maybe….. maybe what … that it wasn't ok to kill something just for the hell of it. But the Deatheaters had a purpose didn't they? There had to be more of a reason to kill someone who wouldn't join them. Simply because they weren't a pureblood. There had to be more to it then that.
Draco dragged himself out of bed and opened his door just as his father was about to open it. "Is your little tantrum over with".
Draco blushed and pulled himself up to his full height. "Yes, father".
Lucius dragged Draco back downstairs and to the remaining cages. Draco fidgeted as he raised his wand arm again. The raccoon paced in his cage, he knew what was coming, the smell of death was in the air. Draco focused his mind, this would help revenge Crabbe and Goyel's death. Lucius watched his son, he was transfixed on the raccoon, their eyes were locked, the fear that Draco was not going to do it, was pissing him off. "Damn it Draco just do it already", he screamed. "Just do it" he whispered.
"Adava Kedavra" the force rushed forward, killing the raccoon. Draco dropped to his knees, "oh" he muttered he sat on the heels of his feet. He willed the raccoon to get up, to move, his heart sank when it did not. He turned and ran to the house. His father did not stop him.
****
He poured himself a glass of whiskey, slammed half of it back and collapsed into the study chair by the fireplace. He took another deep swallow. "Kind of early for that isn't it son". Lucius sat opposite him, pouring his own glass, and handed the bottle back to Draco.
Draco stared long and hard into the burning fire. Every now and then he took a swig from the bottle. Then he finally spoke. "I'm not joining the Deatheaters. I'm not joining sides at all."
Lucius smiled "You don't have a choice Draco, you will join and serve Our Lord Voldemort or you will die."
"And by who's hand will I die father, will you kill me? Will you kill your only son? You own son, because another man orders you to. What power does he hold over you?", Draco snorted "If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the Imperio curse."
Lucius slapped Draco across the face, sending him into the stone boarder of the fireplace. "His will is what every proper wizards will should be and that is pureblood pride. The will to see our kind be able to roam the world, our creatures to roam the world and not hide like cowards. We should not have to hide our powers, our talents from muggles or from the Ministry of Magic. Lord Voldemort can give us these things. He will grant us eternal life, power and wealth."
Blood poured from Draco mouth, "and what of Harry Potter. Why him? Why go after his family?"
"I can't tell you that boy, but he will join us or he will die."
Draco backed up. He looked at his father as if he had never seen him before. It was as if he was a different man. He felt as if he was truly seeing his father for who he was, a lesser man. He no longer was on a pedestal in Draco's eyes.
*****
There's no secret handshake, no-annual reunions, no family picnic in the park, no take your child to work day. You don't even know if you exist at times. All that you have is a mark on the upper inside left arm. A small mark, in such a deep green it appears black. A skull with a snake around it. You've been branded for life. You've entered an elite group of people. So elite that it's questioned if they even exist. But they do.
People who are so powerful, in strength, in mind, in body. Who are willing to fight for what ever their leader commands? Can you imagine being controlled by one person, that you give all your trust to that person. You can't question him. You can't leave the group. You lose control to that one person. You have to be of certain character to join. Have a certain attribute. You have to have something to offer, something of your soul to sacrifice. But even these offerings don't guarantee your membership and your membership dues are such a high price not everyone can pay these prices. The price is your soul, your sanity.
*****
The 15th of August, Draco's sanity was lost. He dropped to his knees. Bowed before his Lord Voldemort, declaring his undying loyalty. His eternal faithfulness. He felt the vile rise in his throat.
Macnair had him pinned to the ground. Why his own father held his wand to his left arm. Draco locked eyes with him, his eyes did not plead with him not to do this. His father already knew that. His eyes showed hatred and fury, Lucius had never seen in his son before. Lucius hand wavered for just a moment. He could see his son would not be loyal, his son would betray him and all Deatheaters. Lucius wand hand moved to Draco's heart. Macnair looked up at him "What are you doing? Just brand him already".
Draco looked at the mark on his arm. It hurt, the pain ran threw his body, but it burned bright. The mark of a Deatheater. He took his place next to his father. He knew some of the people and their families. He couldn't hear what they were saying he kept looking at the mark on his arm. The meeting adjourned. His father went to talk to professor Snape.
****
Draco hopped on his broom and flew toward Diagon Alley. It was getting late. Dark had already settled on the small wizard village. Most proper wizards stayed in at night, scared to walk the streets at nigh fearing the Deatheaters.
Draco walked slowly sticking to the shadows. Two boys ran passed him laughing, jumped onto their brooms, disappearing in the night. A third boy ran passed him, then stopped "Damn it" he heard the boy muttered. Draco stood in the shadows watching. The boy turned in every direction looking for his friends. "Son of a bitch" the boy kicked the dirt beneath his feet. Draco surveyed the boy, he was around his age maybe a year or so older. He was quite tall.
The boy walked for a while, looking in the storefronts for his friends. Draco tailed him. The boy held his own broom ready for take off. The boy turned in every direction one last time and then called out "This isn't funny Fred, George, I'm going home".
"Ron" Draco called and stepped forward
