Coming Out of the Closet
by lorien





Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.

Warnings: Draco/Harry slash, humour

Thanks for all the reviews! *smiles and hugs reviewers* And thanks for the suggestions too...I'll definitely try to write chapters for the people mentioned! ^^




Chapter 3: Hermione - "They didn't say anything about this in the books!"



Harry: Well…all things considered, I suppose Ron took it pretty well.

Draco: [drily] I wouldn't call that "well", exactly.

Harry: [drily] Well, you're still in one piece, aren't you? [grins]

Draco: We~lllll, I suppose… [grins] So, who next?

Harry: Heh heh heh. Pansy.

Draco: No!

Harry: [pouts] Why not? Are you *ashamed* of me? [glares at Draco dangerously]

Draco: 'Course not, don't be an ass. I just don't want to get too near her…she's like a bloody leech. No pun intended.

Harry: [snickers] Okay, I'll spare you for the moment, then. Since Ron knows, I guess I'll go tell Hermione… [winces at thought of another *very* violent reaction]

Draco: [perks up] Sounds good to me.

Harry: [rolls eyes] You *would* say that.



SCENARIO #1

(In the Hogwarts Express. Harry and Hermione are sitting together in one of the carriages. Ron hasn't gotten there yet.)

Harry: [serious look] Herm, I have something important to tell you.

Hermione: [serious look] What is it, Harry? Has You-Know-Who turned up somewhere? Has your scar been hurting again? Is this about Snuffles? Or is it about that particularly difficult piece of Transfiguration homework -

Harry: No, no, nothing like that.

Hermione: Oh good, because I took a *really* long time to come up with the answer to question fifty-three part five-b…

Harry: Uh, Herm…

Hermione: [sheepish] Okay, okay, shutting up. So what was it you wanted to tell me?

Harry: It's, er, about Draco.

Hermione: [furrows brow] Did you just call *Malfoy* by his first name? Harry, are you alright? [feels Harry's forehead to check for a fever]

Harry: [swats Hermione's hand away] Yes, I'm *fine*…it's just that, um, Draco and I are…

Hermione: What? Bitter enemies? Going to kill each other? Or…[pauses dramatically] are you…[another dramatic pause] Heaven forbid…secretly *dating*? [sniggers]

Harry: …yeah, that's about right.

Hermione: [blinks]

Harry: ……

Hermione: …WHAT?!??

Harry: ……

Hermione: [looks a little alarmed] You're kidding…right?

Harry: …… [wipes away trail of sweat]

Hermione: [looks even more alarmed] [voice gets a little shrill] Don't even *joke* about something like that, Harry!

Draco: [pops head in] He wasn't joking.

Hermione: [pales]

Harry: [grins hopefully at Hermione]

Draco: [walks in and sits down beside Harry]

Hermione: [weakly] Er, does Ron know about this?

Harry: Yup…

Hermione: [gets up, muttering something about going to look for Ron]

Draco: Um, Grang - Hermione, when you find him, don't mention this to him.

Hermione: [still dazed] Why?

Harry: He, er, didn't take it very well, to say the least…

Draco: Actually, he didn't take it well at *all*.

Harry: [exasperated] Draco!

Draco: [shrugs and grins at Harry, then kisses him]

Hermione: [tries not to hyperventilate] And I wonder just *why* Ron didn't take it well.

(Hermione leaves…very hurriedly.)




SCENARIO #2

(In Potions class. Snape is in the middle of a very complicated explanation of how the Gooberberry for the Intelligence-Enhancing Potion they are going to make must be harvested at exactly 2.11am on the night of a full moon, or the potion will turn into a Intelligence-Eroding Potion instead and have dire effects on one's intellect…or lack thereof.)

("Of course, if you're *already* stupid, it won't have any effect on you anyway," pronounced Snape, with a pointed glance in Harry's direction.)

Hermione: [raptly taking notes] [decides that she'll go to the library later to read up on this *fascinating* potion]

Ron: [yawns and tries not to fall asleep]

Harry: [stares longingly - but discreetly - across the classroom at Draco]

Hermione: [glances at Harry] [does double take]

Ron: …zzzz…

Hermione: …!!!

Ron: …zzzz…

Hermione: [pokes Ron and whispers] Ron…why is Harry making googly-eyes at *Malfoy*?!?

Ron: [looks very ill] "Googly-eyes"?!? Did you *have* to tell me that? [makes choking sound]

Hermione: [looks a little alarmed] What're you going on about?

Ron: Go ask Harry… [leans back on table and sighs] You've just guaranteed me nightmares about Harry and Malfoy [shudders] for the next two weeks at *least*. [looks a little ill]

Hermione: ???

Ron: [mutters to self] *Googly-eyes*…ughhhhh! [shudders again]

Hermione: [rolls eyes and mutters to self] He's cracked…

Harry: [stares at Draco] …… [mournful sigh]

Hermione: [starts to look a *tad* more alarmed] Er, Harry…?

Harry: [still staring at Draco] Hmm…?

Hermione: Why're you staring at *Malfoy* with that…mooshy…look on your face??

Ron: *Mooshy*?!? [makes a sound halfway between a gag and a slightly hysterical laugh]

Harry: Draco…*smiles dreamily*

Hermione: Harry…you're scaring me.

Ron: [sarcastic] Do tell.

Hermione: Alright, what's going on?

Ron: Harry. And [disgusted tone] *Malfoy*. Are. An. Item.

Hermione: ……

Ron: Er…Herm?

Hermione: [squeaks faintly]

Snape: [sarcastic] Potter, Weasley, Granger. Is there anything you would like to share with the class?

Ron & Hermione: No…sir.

Harry: [still off in la-la land]

Snape: Ten points from Gryffindor - each - for not paying attention in class.

Draco: [peeks at Harry out of the corner of his eye] [winks]

Snape: And somebody wake Potter up, he's drooling on the desk.

Draco: [tries desperately to keep a straight face]

Ron: [pokes Harry]

Hermione: [looks worriedly at Harry] This must be the symptoms of some weird disease or something. I'll go check it up in the library later.

(After class, Hermione is as good as her word, and drags Ron to the library to find out what's "wrong" with Harry. Harry, meanwhile, has mysteriously…disappeared…and neither Ron nor Hermione is terribly eager to find out where he is.)

(A certain blonde Slytherin, however, knows *exactly* where Harry is…)

(Meanwhile, in the library…)

Hermione: [flipping through books] Argh!

Ron: [sleepy] What?

Hermione: [distraught] There's nothing in here that could possibly tell me what's wrong with Harry!

Ron: [dramatic] Ah, the affliction called *lurrrrr-ve*.

Hermione: [glares at Ron] What, are you *happy* about this or something?

Ron: Of course not! [shudders] But seriously, do you think you can find all the answers in your books?

Hermione: Of course! [continues flipping frantically thorough dozens of thick library books in the hopes of finding something, *anything*, about Harry's…affliction]

Ron: [dozes off]

(An hour later…)

Ron: [wakes up screaming something about a nightmare involving Harry and Malfoy sans clothes doing…things…to each other]

Hermione: [grabs hair and wails in frustration] WHY ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ABOUT THIS IN MY BOOKS?!?

(And somewhere else in Hogwarts…)

Harry & Draco: [contented sigh]




SCENARIO #3

(End of Potions class. Harry had had to see Dumbledore for something, and so hadn't come to class. Ron has just left the class, and Hermione is about to follow him.)

Hermione: [feels someone tap her on the shoulder] [turns around]

Draco: [looks a little embarrassed] Um, Grang - Hermione, could you help me pass this to Harry? [shoves a folded-up piece of paper into her hands]

Hermione: [regards Draco with deep suspicion] What're you up to this time?

Draco: Nothing! [spreads hands in an 'I'm-not-guilty' gesture]

Hermione: [still suspicious] Trying to get Harry into trouble again, are you? [blinks] Waitaminute…why're you being so polite today?

Draco: [looks like he wants to turn around and run] Look, just pass him the note, okay? *Please*?

Hermione: [almost dies of shock when Draco says "please"] [is at a loss for words for a minute or two]

Draco: [hurries off]

Hermione: Uh…ookayyyy… [looks at note suspiciously for a second, then tucks it into her bag] [goes off to find Ron]

(A few minutes later, she catches up with Ron.)

Hermione: Ron!! You won't *believe* what just happened. Malfoy -

[piece of paper drops out of Hermione's bag and falls to the floor]

Ron: [bends down and picks up the paper] Hey, you dropped this…wha~?

Hermione: [blinks at Ron] What?

Ron: [reading piece of paper] …whoa. [sniggers] Didn't realise you were so…*poetic*, Herm. [grins] Or…wait…is this from a secret admirer?

Hermione: Huh?

Ron: [mutters] Waitaminute. Hermione? Secret admirer? [emotions war between "jealous" and "amused"…….but "amused" finally wins out]

Hermione: [looks utterly confused]

Ron: [reads what's written on the piece of paper out loud]


My beloved,

The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle;
Why not I with thine?

See, the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven,
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea;
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?
[1]

Meet me behind Hagrid's cabin tonight at 1am. And don't forget to bring the handcuffs. I'll be waiting…

~ Love, D.




Hermione: [looks a little pale]

Ron: [still reading the piece of paper, grinning] So who's the secret admirer, Herm? "D" huh…lemme see…Dean? Issit Dean? Hmmm? [looks over at Hermione]

Hermione: ……

Ron: [thinks: 'I'm gonna *KILL* Dean…Hermione's MINE! …although she doesn't *know* it yet…']

Hermione: …… [looks a little ill]

Ron: Handcuffs…hmm…kinky.

Hermione: [starts to look even *more* ill] That…note…

Ron: Yes, what about it?

Hermione: [babbles incoherently] I…not me…Malfoy…class…asked me to pass it to Harry…

Ron: [eyes go very, *very* wide] Ohhh………….*that*……………EEWWWWW, I was trying to FORGET about it! [looks ill as well]

Hermione: Oy. [goes into shock]

[thud]

Ron: Hermione? Herm, wake up! HERM!



[1] This poem does not belong to me! It's by Percy Bysshe Shelley…I just borrowed it for Draco. *grins*




C&C greatly appreciated! ^^

TBC...Next chapter: Pansy - "My Drakkie-poo loves me! I just KNOW it!"