And They Call Me...

And they call me
happy-go-lucky
They don't know my heart is dyin' inside
This smiles a frown turned upside down
I do my happy-go-lucky so well
I'm even foolin' myself

Chapter 1:

The night was fitful with a thunderstorm. Kloppman was just about to lock the doors of the Manhattan Newsboy Lodging House when a figure burst into the foyer, and directly into his arms. Startled, he held the creature out at arm's length, eyeing it curiously. It was a forlorn looking thing, with a dirty-smudged face, streaked with raindrops, and was drenched from head to toe. He didn't know who in their right mind would be out on such a night. "Who're you? An' what're ya doin' out on such a God-awful night?"

"Iwannabeanewsie," the creature mumbled quickly.

"Pardon?"

"I wanna be a newsie."

Now he was truly baffled. "Ya wanna be a newsie..." he repeated slowly. "Well, kid, couldn'cha have waited until the mornin'?"

"Mornin's too far away."

Kloppman laughed at the eager adolescent before him. He had never met someone so enthusiastic at the thought of selling newspapers in sleet, rain, and the extremes of winter and summer. "Well, now, I'm guessin' ya wanna stay here in the Lodgin' House t'night?" When the kid nodded, he pursed his lips. "Well, let me take a look at ya..." He sized the youngster up and determined from the observation that he was a runaway. "Any dry clothes wit' ya?" When he was given a negative response, he asked, "Any money for your stay?"

The boy's face paled beneath the layer of dirt. "Only a dime, sir."

He scratched his grizzled chin thoughtfully. With a hefty sigh, he said, "Tell ya what. You keep that dime an' pay me after ya sell your newspapers tomorrow."

Relief crossed his face and he nodded. "Thank ya... Thank ya so much."

Kloppman cracked a small grin. "Just don't tell any of the other boys. Come along, we'll get ya some dry clothes." He led the kid into the bunkroom and roused one of the newsboys. "Hey, Jack. Get up."

The one called Jack groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face deeper into his flat, shapeless pillow. "It's still dark out, Kloppman. Ain't no one out sellin' papes this early."

"I need your help. Come on, get outta bed."

With a stifled yawn, Jack rolled- or fell, actually- out of bed and squinted at the figure beside the man as he drowsily rose to his feet. "What's goin' on?"

Jerking his thumb to the forlorn creature, he replied, "This kid wants t' be a newsie, Jack. Now, while it's a bit useless startin' him out right at the moment, you're better at sizin' folks for clothes than I am, and this kid needs somethin' dry to sleep in. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a lodgin' house to lock up." And then he turned, and left Jack with the newsboy recruit.

Jack buried his fingers into his askew hair, scratching his scalp. "Well," he began after a long pause, "ya look about Mush's build. I don't think he'll mind if ya borrow some of 'is clothes. They may be a little big, seein's how you's on the short side." Motioning for the newcomer to follow him, he headed over to another bunk, scrounged through another boy's belongings, and handed a pair of pants and a shirt to the kid. "What possessed ya t' come out here so late?" he asked, leading the way to the washroom.

"Same thing that possessed God t' create th' Earth: I jus' wanted to."

He motioned for the smart-mouth to enter and change. Folding his arms over his chest, he considered what he'd have to do to work with this kid. He already had an attitude... not necessarily a good thing when directed at him, but definitely something he needed to have to survive. When the kid returned, garbed in Mush's spare clothes, he stared at him... or her, to be more precise. "You's a girl?!"

"Wow, what a discov'ry. Ya should win a Nobel Prize for that one."

He blatantly took in the girl's curvy figure from her head to her feet. He was unsure how he hadn't noticed it before because now it was so blatantly obvious. "Wait a minute, girls can't be newsies," he managed to stutter, finally looking up at her face.

She cocked an eyebrow, and brushed past him, slamming into his shoulder as she went. "Yeah? Well who went an' made you king of th' world?"

"Well... I...no one but-"

"Exactly. Anyway, ya ever been t' Harlem? Girl newsies there. An' th' Bronx has 'em too."

"Then why ain't ya in one of their lodgin' houses?"

"'Cause I jus' happen t' be in this one. Gotta problem wit' that?"

Jack scratched his head, unaccustomed to being outsmarted by a girl. "What'cher name?"

Tilting her head to the side, she studied him long and hard through the darkness of the room before replying, "They call me Happy-Go-Lucky... if you's nice, ya can just call me Happy."

"Happy?"

She shrugged, and turned towards the bunkroom. "Well, Jack, where do I sleep?"

After a moments thought, he realized there weren't any available bunks that he was aware of. 'Damn Kloppman.' "Well, ya can use my bunk."

She snorted. "Hey, fella, my name may be Happy, but I ain't stupid."

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean wit' me. Jeez."

She paused, and then nodded. "A'right, Jacky-boy. Point it out. I's had a long day."

"It's right there." He made a vague gesture to the bed and went to pull a set of old blankets from a shelf to set up a pallet on the floor. "Kloppman'll be in early t' wake us up, so get some shut eye."

"Kloppman?"

"The man that runs this place," he grumbled, situating himself to get comfortable. Thumping his head onto a pillow, he added, "Now get t' sleep."

Happy climbed into Jack's bed and pulled the blankets tightly around her thin shoulders. She rolled onto her side and strained to see him through the darkness. "Jack?" she whispered.

"What?" he muttered with a slightly annoyed tone.

She was silent for a moment, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. "Thanks," she murmured quietly.

He opened his eyes and glanced back towards his bed, slightly baffled. What was she thanking him for? Shrugging, he rolled onto his stomach and fell asleep.

* * *

"Wake up, ya bums!" came a shout.

Happy jerked awake with a startled shriek. And for the first time, Kloppman didn't have to work towards waking up the boys: Happy's scream did the job quite efficiently. Thumps of several boys falling out of their beds resounded around the room, and a highly feminine shriek of "There's a girl in here!" echoed from the mouth of a very unfeminine figure.

Jack sat up, laughing hysterically at the boy who was standing on his bed, pale as if he had seen a mouse. "What'sa matter, Blink? Ya 'fraid of somethin'?"

"What's a girl doin' in th' lodgin' house?!" he yelled. "She ain't s'posed t' be here!"

Happy climbed to a stand, looking the boy in the eye. "Gotta problem wit' me bein' here, Cyclops?" She glanced at him from head to foot. "By th' way, nice underwear." Then she turned and sauntered away, heading for the bathroom.

Kid Blink looked down at his clothing, or lack-thereof, and turned a brilliant shade of red. Storming over to Jack, he said, thrusting his finger back towards the bathroom, "She can't stay here."

"Aw, you's jus' sore 'cause she caught ya wit' ya pants down..." He snickered. "Literally."

"Kloppman ain't gonna allow it."

"Kloppman's th' one that let 'er in," Jack pointed out.

"Impossible," he sneered. "He wouldn't let a girl in here. He don't. I know for a fact."

He shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Talk to him about it then."

The room was filled with two screams and Racetrack Higgins came barreling past the two of them, shielding his head, and shouting apologies to a very angry Happy, who was hot on his trail, launching bars of soap and other such projectiles at him.

"Ya dirty scabber! Wait'll I get my hands on ya! You's gonna be in so much pain!"

"I said I's sorry!" he yelled, throwing himself across one of the bunks. He lunged to the right, but halted when Happy did the same. So he moved to the left, but she mimicked the move again. This repeated itself once or twice more when, finally frustrated, she climbed over the bed, and over one of the newsboys as well. Race yelped and ran across the bunkroom. Feeling the need to intervene, after getting in his laughs, of course, Jack stuck out an arm and caught Happy around the waist, almost knocking her off of her feet from the momentum.

"Lemme go!" she yelled, kicking wildly when he lifted her off her feet. "I's gonna soak ya so bad! I said lemme go!"

"Not 'til ya calm down."

"Oh I's gonna calm down, th' second I get my hands on that- that scab!"

"It was an accident!" Race yelled from his hiding place behind his bunk. "How was I s'posed t' know a girl'd be in there, huh?"

Jack glanced at him. "Didn'cha hear Blink yellin' 'bout a girl in the bunkroom?"

"Naw, ya know I never listen t' him. He's always yellin' about girls." After a moment, he asked, "Anyway, what's a girl doin' in here?"

"I's gonna be a newsie," Happy replied, tired of fighting against Jack, who had her firmly held in place anyway. "An' ya man let me in las' night. Now will ya put me down?"

Jack set her to her feet and turned to his fellow newsboys. "Fellas, this here's Happy. Don' ask me why she's stayin' wit' us, 'cause I don't know." He gestured about the room. "Happy, this is the fellas. Skittery, you jus' climbed over him... and Itey, and Swifty... The one ya was chasin' was Race, Mush, Jake, Kid Blink, Boots..." He went on to introduce the rest of them, and then herded everyone out the door to the church for breakfast.

Kid Blink lingered behind for a moment and found Kloppman busy sweeping his floors. Hopping onto the desk, he said, "Kloppman, ya know the new kid is a girl?"

He shrugged. "Jus' found that out today. But yes, now I know."

He squinted at him with his good eye. "An' you's jus' gonna let 'er stay?"

"Why not? So long as you boys don't try anything with her."

"But you's always gettin' on my case about havin' girls here. Ain't ya bein' a little... what's the word?"

"Hypocritical?"

He thought for a moment and then nodded. "Sounds about right."

"An' if I am bein' hypocritical?"

"Then I think I can bring girls here."

Kloppman shook his head, chuckling. "As always, I'm tellin' ya no, Blink. Now get to sellin' your papers an' whatever else ya do in the mornin'."

With a sigh, Kid Blink trotted after his friends, mulling all the while about how unfair the old man was being.

After breakfast, and a rather heated argument between Happy and Jack about the idea of girl newsies, the entire group eventually made it, in small groups, to the distribution office. "Ya got any money?" Jack finally grumbled to the silent stalking girl beside him.

Shooting him an icy glare, she replied thinly, "Ten cents."

"That'll get ya twenty papes- good for ya first time out." He took Happy's arm and roughly dragged her after him to the office window. "The usual, Weasel me boy," he announced, rather saucily.

The man behind the window rolled his eyes, and yelled back, "Hundred papes!" He handed the newsboy his papers and then looked in surprise at the girl who approached next. "'Scuse me, little lady, but the fact'ry's down th' block."

Happy slammed her dime onto the counter. "Twenty papes."

He burst into laughter. "Hey boys, didja hear that? This girl wants t' sell newspapers!" Looking back at her, he said, "That's good an' funny, girl, but move along. People are tryin' t' get their papers."

"Yeah, well so'm I. I's got money, so jus' hand over the papes," Happy snapped.

"I said move it, missy." He peered over her head and yelled, "Next!"

"Hey Weasel, give me girl her papes!"

The man called Weasel arched an eyebrow at Jack. "She's ya girl?'

Jack rolled his eyes. "Give 'er th' papes."

Staring contemptuously at both the girl and boy, he bellowed for twenty newspapers, and shoved them towards her hastily. "Next!"

Happy hefted the stack over her shoulder and reluctantly followed Jack onto the street.

"Ever sell papes b'fore, Happy?"

"Nope, but I know how ya do it."

He glanced at her skeptically. "Ya do," he stated, his tone making it evident that he didn't believe a word she said.

"Yup." She closed her eyes, trying to remember the headlines she had seen posted up on the board at the distribution office. Choosing one that came to mind, she played around with the words until she came up with one she felt satisfied with. With that completed, she held a paper over her head and yelled out the new headline. Two well-dressed young men approached and bought a newspaper from her, both eyeing her with interest.

"Thank ya kindly, sirs," she replied cheerfully, tipping her hat towards them as they walked away.

Jack eyed them, coming up beside her. "They only bought from ya 'cause you's a girl, an' they prob'ly found ya attractive. Ya headline could use a little work."

She shrugged. "You's jus' jealous," she said with a smirk, ignoring his comment. Her headlines were the best she could come up with, and at least they were somewhat better than the one's the paper produced. Holding up another newspaper, she belted out another less-than-enticing headline.

He grunted in annoyance when four more buyers- all male, he noted- purchased newspapers from her. Turning away, he went to selling his own newspapers.

By noon, Happy was giddy with excitement and she danced alongside Jack as they headed to Tibby's for lunch. Jack, on the other hand, found himself in a very rancorous mood. Greetings from other newsboys were shouted when the two entered.

"What'sa matter, Cowboy?" Itey inquired around a mouthful of his sandwich wen he noticed Jack's bitter expression.

"Nothin'," he muttered in response.

Arching an eyebrow, he turned to Happy, who looked more... well, happy. "How was ya first day sellin'?"

"Oh, great!" She plopped into a chair at his table, and leaned forward on to her elbows eagerly. "I sold all th' papes an' even helped Jack finish sellin' his!"

As his response, Jack groaned and smacked his head onto the table while the others laughed at his expense.

"Can't sell all ya papes so ya gotta have a girl do it for ya?" Race teased, striking a match and lighting a cigar.

He lifted his head and glared at him. "All she sold was t' fellas, an' her headlines's horrible..." He scowled when his friend laughed. "Know what? For th' ev'nin' edition, you's takin' her 'round." He thrust his finger in Race's direction.

His eyes widened and his cigar drooped in the corner of his mouth. "Me an'... an' her?"

Happy shrugged with a grin, conveniently ignoring Jack's comments about her selling abilities. As long as her newspapers sold, she wasn't complaining. "Me an' Race, we's good friends, ain't we Race?" To emphasize what she had just stated, she took the cigar from his mouth and clamped it between her teeth, pushing her cap forward over her eyes, and reclining back against her chair, all in a rather smug manner. She followed it up by kicking her heels up onto the table. "Thanks, Race."

Again, chuckles arose as he stared at her in shock. "Hey... hey, that's my cigar!"

She flicked up the edge of her cap with one hand to peer at him and removed the cigar from her mouth with the other, gracing him with a wink. "Aw, I's sure ya don't mind sharin' wit' me, do ya Race?"

"Well I..." At a loss for words, he turned to Jack. "Can we rethink this? I don't think I can sell wit' her... She like that all the time?"

Jack laughed, shaking his head as he placed an order with the waitress who had stopped by the table. "Lemme jus' say ya got ya work cut out for ya."

With an indignant shriek, she thumped her feet back to the ground and thrust Race's cigar in Jack's face. "Ya want hard t' handle? Ah, I can give ya hard t' handle!" She grabbed Itey's sandwich from his hand and smashed it into Jack's face. She laughed as the bread slid down his startled face until he grabbed Mush's glass of water and flung the liquid in her face. With an indignant squeal, she grabbed a handful of beans off of Boots' plate and threw them at the Manhattan newsie leader. And the food war began.

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*Song credits: "Happy Go Lucky" by Steps