Author's note: Okay, now I'm pretty sure this is the last chapter because, after all, how long can you string out a story that takes place only on the train to Hogwarts?

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling and me…

Last Chapter…

About ten minutes later Lily had succeeded in calming herself down but the noises coming from the compartment she had left were turning her stomach. She decided to wander in search of the snack lady since her stomach was growling ominously. With a good amount of stumbling (her balance not being what it should be) Lily made it to the last door. She could hear greedy smacking of lips and wasn't hesitant to guess that the snack lady had been by recently. She leaned against the door and pushed herself in to find herself in the worst company she could ever be in…

On the Train

By: the Bumbling Firefly

Part Three

"Lily!" hailed a golden blue eyed wizard. "Goodness, you must be glad to see me again! So when's our next date?"

Lily groaned. Of all the places she could have stumbled in on she had to go to the one place where the most conceited, proud, vain, smug, arrogant, snobbish, snooty, haughty, snotty, haughty, overconfident, and brash ass ever to walk the planet. Can you guess? It was Gilderoy Lockheart.

"Gildie, dear," she said in a sickeningly sweet tone. "I'M NEVER GOING OUT WITH YOU AGAIN!" The one and only date Lily had been convinced to go on had been a complete disaster. How could anyone like Gilderoy Lockheart?

"Lily," Gilderoy said trying to explain to her as if she were a child. "I know you've been pining over me ever since our last date and I want you to get over it."

Lily rolled her eyes. One minute he was trying to get another date and the next minute he was telling her to get over him. The guy was insane!

"It may be hard for you to believe, Gilderoy," Lily said gently. "But not every girl wants to go out with you."

"Lily, I'm hurt." Gilderoy put a carefully manicured hand over his heart. What kind of man manicured his nails? Lily thought. "There is no need for such blatant lies here."

"Listen up Lockheart!" Lily snapped. "I don't like you, and I never have liked you so get over it. I'm leaving now."

"You can leave when I get a kiss," said Gilderoy.

"Don't be disgusting!"

"Well I guess you're not leaving," Gilderoy calmly sat down in front of the door and despite Lily's attempts to push him aside he didn't move. He was actually quite heavy.

"I can't kiss you, Gilderoy," Lily said thinking rapidly. Just wait till she got her lawyer! Then we'd see who got charged with harassment.

"Why?" asked Gilderoy bluntly.

"Because, because," Lily floundered. She didn't notice Lockheart gradually being pushed away from the door as it cracked open

"Because," said a voice through the crack, "she's already taken." (Oh this is rather obvious…)

Lily jumped. Who was that behind the door? she wondered. She didn't have to wait long for an answer because a moment later the door was flung open and Gilderoy was knocked head over heels into the corner.

"James!" exclaimed Lily. Oh bother, this was going to be trouble.

"You see Gilderoy," James said moving so that he could casually drape his arm around her neck. Lily tried not to flinch but couldn't help her self tensing. "We're going out."

"I don't believe it," Gilderoy said sulkily.

"Why not?" asked Lily gingerly looping her arm around James' waist. This brought them closer and her eye started twitching with embarrassment.

"Your eye is twitching," Gilderoy had noticed. "That means you're not happy."

James looked at Lily and couldn't help a smirk. Lily glared. "No it doesn't."

"Well then prove you're going out," said Gilderoy. "Kiss."

"Look bub," Lily said. There was no way she was kissing either of these guys. "We don't have to prove anything to you."

James hooked Lily closer to him so that she tripped and had to hold on. He could be a very good actor.

"What snookums meant to say," James ignored Lily's quiet gasp of indignation. "Was that we hadn't quite progressed to that stage in our relationship."

"Ha!" Laughed Gilderoy. "You reach that farther than that stage with your relationships in an hour."

James started to get mad and Lily, not feeling like a detention on the first day back from vacation, pulled him away from Gilderoy. Wait a minute, did she just prevent a detention for James?

"James!" she hissed. "Why don't you just push him out of the way and let us go?"

"Actually," James said, once again with a smirk on his face. "I'm kind of enjoying this."

"What?" cried Lily. She clapped a hand over her mouth and looked at Gilderoy who was staring at them with narrowed eyes. "You wouldn't dare," Lily whispered with venom dripping from her voice. If looks could kill James would have died a dozen times over in a single second.

"Oh wouldn't I?"

Lily considered her options. She could a.) get her first kiss from Potter or b.) get her first kiss from Gilderoy. It was a hard decision. Who wanted to kiss Gilderoy? Who wanted to kiss Potter? Lily resorted to "eeny, meeny, minee, moe". She didn't really have much of a chance. When she finally pointed her mental finger at the person she grimaced.

"I hate you Potter."

"Glad to hear it," James led her back to where Gilderoy was waiting with a glower on his face. Lily trailed a few feet behind him reluctantly.

"Hi Gilderoy," he said a shade to brightly. Without any further ado he swung Lily to the floor in a movie style kiss leaving her to cling to his neck else she might fall. With the kiss making her veins run hot Lily vaguely wondered at why she ever disliked James Potter. When he finally stood her back up she was panting and a little dizzy.

"James," she said slapping his face. "Don't you ever sneak up on me again!"

"Ow," moaned James. Despite the red hand print on his face he had a cheerful outlook. The kiss had done much to assuage his wounded pride. "Proof enough Gilderoy?"

"Yes," Gilderoy motioned them out with his hands. Lily hurried out but James paused for a moment when Lily was out of earshot.

*

"How much do I owe you?" Whispered J.P.

"Ten galleons," answered G.L. promptly.

"No, had to be seven," replied J.P.

"Nine."

"Eight and that's my final offer."

"Deal," said Gilderoy taking the coins from the offered hand. "So why did you want to kiss her?"

"Bet," James said. He was getting three galleons from Peter and nine from Sirius. Remus had refused to participate in the shenanigan by virtuously proclaiming it to be 'mean.'

*

"So…?" said James as he rejoined Lily. "How about another kiss?" He had never actually kissed anybody that had made him tingle like Lily. He was positive he had himself in control!

"Are you insane?" Lily asked looking as if throttling him wouldn't be near good enough for the revenge she wanted.

"How about going out?"

"What, yeah, sure, why not?" Lily asked sarcastically. "NO. I happen to have a bet with Kara." She left to find Kara (who was presently occupied with Mr. Black) leaving James to feel as if he'd missed something.

"Oh damn," James said aloud. "And the kiss was actually good!"

Published: In September

Finished: In December

Aren't you proud of me?