Disclaimer: All characters and situations belong to Cameron and Eglee. Fox owns Dark Angel. The song at the end is 'Live for the one I love', by Celine Dion and can be found on her CD 'All the way, a decade of song'.
Rating: PG
Author Notes: This is pure sap. Aiight? Don't read it if you don't like M/L slipperiness. Major angst ahead! If you have a copy of the song 'Live for the one I love' you might want to put it on repeat play. I based this story on that song. It's much more heart wrenching if you listen to it. But it's still good with out the music. Great thanks to Aurian and Queen Gwenyvere for betaing this.
Story notes: This is set 3 years in the future of Dark Angel. Logan can walk fine. This is extremely sad! Make sure to have a box of tissues besides you. Questions can be asked in the review or you can e-mail me at LadyCallistar@yahoo.com. Enjoy!
Story notes 2: You may have already read this story, but I've gone through and added so much that it's worth a second read. I hope you enjoy!
Story notes 3: I wrote this after the episode 'Red' aired last season.
More notes: If you're sick off all the Max/Alec crap (no offense, I think he sucks and this is my fic so I'm gonna say it.) M/A IS SICK AND TWISTED AND COMPLEATLY WRONG AND IT SUCKS! M/L shippers, read on!
~*~ Sunset, Starlight ~*~
It's been a year since Max died. Twelve long, terrible, agonizing, lonely months. Oh God! I miss her so much! Why? Why her? Why *my* Max? She was only 23! Normal women aren't supposed to die that young. But Max wasn't normal; she was made, not born. Damn Donald Lydecker for doing this to her!
At times, it's so hard to live. I long to see her, to touch her, hold her again. Life isn't fair; it's cruel and twisted and has an evil sense of humor. I only had three and a half years with my sweet Max. When she was here, everyday was like Christmas. She was the joy in my life. She brightened my life and gave me a purpose. Oh Max, I miss you so much!
~*~
Max and I were married in September 2021. I wanted to wait until May when the sun would shine and the flowers were in bloom, but Max really wanted to have it in the fall. So I agreed, deciding that all that really mattered was making Max mine, my very own angel, albeit a dark one.
The day started out crisp and cool, with a slight nip in the air. I worried that the guests would get cold because Max had insisted that the ceremony be outside. I swear that woman never got cold! Thankfully, it warmed up by noon. It was perfect by six.
My crazy Max wanted it held at sunset. Though I did agree with her on that on, I couldn't let her know that; it would bruise my delicate male ego. Plus, it was fun to pester her about stuff like that.
The ceremony was held in a small park that overlooked a quiet pond. Max and I spent countless hours there, feeding the ducks or just sitting together, talking. That was where I proposed to her. She had called from work and asked if I wanted to eat lunch at the park with her. I told her I wouldn't miss it for the world.
As I started making lunch, because Max still couldn't do much more then boil water, it dawned on me that I should just ask her to be my wife and quit wasting time. I had been thinking about it for a while, hell I'd even gone so far as to take my mother's wedding ring to the jewelers to be sized and cleaned. I was just waiting for the right time to ask her. And it was now.
The look on her face when I knelt down on one knee, took her hand in mine, and asked her if she'd be my wife was absolutely priceless. Her eyes went as wide as the wheels on her Ninja, and she started crying. At first I thought she didn't want this, and that I'd gone too far. I was terrified that she'd run away. But then she spoke the words that made my heart sing.
"Yes." She barely breathed the words before she threw back her head and yelled, "Yes, I'll marry you!" Then her arms were around me and her lips were locked onto mine.
~*~
The wedding was wonderful. The air was warm, with a crisp fall sent of drying leaves that floated around us. The trees were ripe with color, as if a painter had created a masterpiece just for us.
When Max came down the isle of fallen leaves that lead to the edge of the pond, my jaw fell to the ground. She was beautiful! Her dark shoulder length hair was pinned back, soft curls rested along the sides of her face and along the back of her neck, providing just the right coverage to hide the barcode on her neck. Her dress was made of the palest blue, so pale it was almost white. The style was simple; Max hated the thought of "Looking like a poodle with high heels". The silky fabric flowed to her ankles, gently billowing out into a slight train behind her. The sleeves were wrist length, but they were slit up to her elbows, letting the rest hang down. The bodice was empire cut, showing off her curves. Her veil was attached to a wreath of tiny blue and yellow roses that nestled in her hair and flowed behind her, ending mid-back. Her bouquet was filled with more blue and yellow roses surrounded by babies-breath, with a single blood red rose in the center. I sent that to her this morning.
The sun was setting as we said our vows. The golden orange light set Max's face aglow, reflecting off the deep red highlights in her hair. We were pronounced husband and wife in the last few seconds before the sunset. Gently, I lifted Max's face towards mine, her soft cheeks were damp with tears, as were mine. As our lips touched, the sun slipped away, the last rays of light danced around us, as the stars started to fill the sky.
We honeymooned in Maine for a month. When we got back, I started working on Eyes Only again and Max went back to Jam Pony. Three sweet, blissful years drifted by.
~*~
Seven weeks after our third anniversary, Max started having a hard time controlling her seizures. She was taking up to twelve doses of Tryptophan a day, four times her usual dosage, and it still wasn't completely stopping the seizures. Normally, Max managed her seizures pretty well, but these seizures were so much stronger then any she'd had before. I think the Red implant was a major part of her problem. I had been in contact with Zack and he said that none of the other X-5's had been experiencing any changes in their seizures, so that was my only guess as to what was happening to my Max. I used my Eyes Only contacts to hunt down some liquid Tryptophan that I could inject into Max's bloodstream in case of a really bad seizure; sometimes she had as many as three major seizures a day. It was so hard to watch her seize, because there was very little I could do to help except say with her and wait for it to end. I would hold her while she shook, try to get some milk into her, talk to her quietly, place cool cloths on her flushed face. Max's energy level went way down because of her seizures; her body was so drained from the constant contraction of her muscles that she could barely walk from the bedroom to the bathroom without help. It tore my heart to see such a strong, beautiful women like Max struggling to stand by herself.
This went on for about two more weeks before Max woke up one night having difficulty breathing. I can still remember the scared look on my beloved's face when I woke up upon hearing her strangled gasps. She was leaning forward in bed, trying to breathe easier, her chocolate eyes wide with fear. Her chest heaved as she forced air into her body. And there was nothing I could do to help her.
My sweet, beautiful Max was dying. Sometime she couldn't catch her breath, other times it felt like a giant vise was clamped around her chest, squeezing her lungs to the point where Max literally panted for air. I searched day after day for anyone or anything that could help my wife. But every doctor was the same; they had never seen a person with Max's DNA and body chemistry before, they wouldn't know what to do with her even if she wasn't sick, so there was nothing they could do. I even tried contacting Manticore, but the government had stopped funding the horrid place two years ago and erased all files and information about it. I searched for doctors that had resigned from Manticore before it was shut down, but they had disappeared without a trace, my guess is that they were hunted down so the secrets of Manticore would be kept safe. There was nothing I or anyone else could do to save Max. Her genetically engineered body was burning out.
~*~
Four days later Max asked me to take her to the park where we were married. The sun was shining and I wasn't about to deny my beloved anything. Carefully I helped her dress in a warm sweater and carried her to the car, gently placing her in the front seat so she could look out the windows as I kept on eye on her. She was trembling from the after effects of a seizure and she panted for air.
When we reached the park, I wrapped Max in a soft blanket and carried her through the park, which was strangely empty, to a bench by the pond. We sat there the entire day, talking a bit, but mainly just relishing what time we had left with each other. I think, somewhere deep inside both our hearts and through our mixed blood, we knew that this was our last day together. I held her in my lap as she fought through seizure after seizure; I carefully gave her shots of liquid Tryptophan and helped her swallow a few pills, even though we both knew that they wouldn't stop the seizure completely. I stroked her face and hair, rubbed her back as she struggled for air.
The sun was setting when Max leaned close to my ear and whispered, for that was all she could do, "Logan…lets dance…one last time."
Ever since I regained my legs dancing had been a favorite past time for Max and I. We used to go out for dinner and then dance till morning, and finally come home and fall asleep on the couch together, snuggled in each other's arms.
So there was no way in hell that I would miss a final dance with my beloved. Gently I helped Max to her feet, taking most of her small weight onto my arms. She grasped my hand and wrapped her arm around my back, her tiny hand resting on my shoulder. Then slowly, we danced in the fading light, the only music that of the birds in the trees around us. I smoothly lead Max in a slow dance, humming an old song in her hair as we moved back and forth.
I could feel Max start to tremble as yet another seizure began, and she started to falter in her steps. The sunlight was failing in the sky, and so was Max. Not wanting to stop, not wanting to break the beauty of the dance, I picked her up and continued.
Her breath was coming in sharp gasps. "I…love you…Logan. I…will always…love…you." Her chest heaved as she fought a loosing battle for air and her lips had turned a bluish red color. I held her tighter in my arms and turned my face to hers, never breaking the dance. Her eyes, her soft chocolate brown eyes, eyes that could bore right through my heart, were bright with tears. I leaned down and kissed her soft lips one more time.
"I love you too Max. I loved you the moment you broke through my window." She smiled weakly, and I remembered that night not so very long ago, the night that changed everything in my life and the girl who was responsible. Tears filled my eyes as I saw how much had changed in that dark angel. Her face and eyes had softened, her heart had learned to love and to be loved. But now that heart was slowing, those eyes closing, a single tear slipping through her thick lashes, to run down her smooth cheek.
Max took as deep a breath as she could and raised her lips to mine again. I returned her kiss, trying to feed her dying body with my love. But it wasn't to be. Max's lips pulled away from mine, and her body went limp in my arms as the golden-red sun slid over the horizon, shooting this finale rays of light across the pond as the stars appeared. The sun and Max had set. I don't know how long I stood there, dancing my final dance under the stars with my love.
~*~
So here I am a year later, sitting at the same bench, in the same park, at the same time of day, only Max isn't in my arms. I miss her so much! Sometimes I think the pain will never end. There hasn't been a day when I don't turn around and expect to see her standing behind me. Sometimes I think she is still there, I just can't see her. I only had three years with her! We were supposed to spend our lifetime together, not three years!
I watch as the sun sinks lower and lower. I haven't been here since that day. I couldn't bear to watch sunsets before today. But now it only seems fair to watch those golden-red rays, somehow it brings me closer to Max. It's as if she's part of the sunset.
There is a rustling sound next to me. I tear my eyes away from the sun. Beside me is a small box that hadn't been here when I sat down. I glanced around the park, there was only a young man walking his dog and he's over on the other side of the pond. It couldn't be him.
Carefully I reach for it, my name is printed on the top. And it's in Max's handwriting. Slowly I open it. Resting inside is a slightly yellowed letter, a CD and a single dried red rose. I open the letter, reading it in the dying light.
'My dearest Logan,
If you are reading this that means I've been gone for a whole year. I wrote this the day before we went to the park, I knew that it was nearly time and I didn't know if I would have the strength to tell you a few things. And I couldn't bear the thought of you not knowing.
First, know that I love you and will always love you. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't met you. I would probably just keep running from Manticore and never settled down. I would have never learned how to love, or how to be loved. You brought calmness and joy into my life, however short it may be. I thank you from the bottom of my heart Logan. You are my saving angel. You saved me from a life without love. And as you always told me, "A life without love is no life at all".
On this CD is a song I want you to listen to tonight, under the stars, like we used to do. I discovered it back when I first got sick and it shocked me with how much it fit our love. All of my feelings are in it. Please dance one last time with me Logan, for I will be there, forever in your memory.
I love you with all my heart Logan, but please honor my love by living your life. I know it will be hard. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your place, it is a terrible thought. But please try Logan, try for me. I don't want you to throw your life away because I'm not there with you. I love you Logan Cale and that will never change.
Forever yours,
Max.'
I finished the letter just in time to watch the sunset. It was magnificent; gold, red, yellow and orange rays of light shot off the glassy surface of the pond and bounced off the trees. Then the stars came out and began to twinkle. And in that wild, untamable glory I caught a sense of Max. Gathering the box, I took one last look at the sky. "I love you too Max." I repeated my last words to her.
~*~
I went home and listened to Max's CD, out on my balcony, under the stars like she wanted.
*A million stars light
This beautiful night
This is not a night to die
Let me sing and dance
Beneath the sky
I have such love to give...to give
I want a chance to live
Live
For the one I love
Love
As no one has loved
Give
Asking nothing in return
Free
Free to find my way
Free to have my say
Free to see the day
Be like I used to be
Like a wild but free
Full the life in me
Live
For the one I love
Love
As no one has loved
Give
Asking nothing in return
Though this world tears us apart
We're still together in my heart
I want the world to hear my cry
Even if I have to die
Love will not die
Love will change the world
Live
For the one I love
Love
As no one has loved
Give
Asking nothing in return
And love until love wears me away
I'll die and I know my love will stay
And I'll know
I know my love will stay*
~*~
As the song ended, I went back into the house and pick up the dried rose from the vase I had set it in. I knew that it was the rose I had given her on our wedding day. Carrying it carefully, I want back outside. I hit the play button on my CD player again and this time as the song started, I held the rose and gently started to dance.
"This is for you Max." I whisper to the stars. "I love you."
And far up in the sky, a tiny star twinkled brighter then ever before. Suddenly it shot across the sky, leaving a silver trail of stardust behind it. It was as if the little star was dancing with me, one final time.
~*~Fin~*~
Are your eyes wet? What do you think? Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it! Oh and if you're gonna flame, I will use them to heat my bathwater.
-LadyCallie
