The songs in this part are not mine, they belong to Alice in Chains and
whoever else they belong to. Heaven beside you, and Down in a hole. Thought
they were fitting, if you don't think so, let me know, I'll take your
comments into consideration. If you know of a better B/S song, then tell
me. :) See ya!
Giles had acquired a large house, directly on the beach. The pounding of the surf from the Atlantic Ocean and calling of seagulls surrounded them. It was a peaceful and relaxing setting, which lulled them all into a misplaced sense of security.
After spending two days setting up the house to their liking, they all decided that it was time for a break, and happily put on suitable clothes for an outing to the Boardwalk, which was about a mile down the beach.
Giles agreed to take his turn watching Liam, so the Scoobies were free to roam out and about as long as they pleased.
"Ooh! I want to go in there!" Dawn exclaimed as she saw an open tattoo stall.
"You are not getting a tattoo, Dawn."
"Buffy, don't be silly! I don't want a tattoo anymore, I just want to watch them do it, it looks neat."
"No."
"Oh come on, Buffy! I promise I won't get into trouble or anything." Dawn weedled.
Buffy looked into the stall, where a fat, bald biker type was getting a large, intricate Chinese dragon tattooed around the back of his head. She shuddered.
"Fine, if you want to see someone get ink shoved into his brain, more power to you. Don't go too far off, and meet me at the entrance to the boardwalk by ten."
Dawn jumped up and down with excitement. "Thanks, sis! You're the best!" She squeezed Buffy in a tight embrace.
"Yeah, well if you're late you aren't going anywhere for a month."
"I won't be late. Thank you!"
Dawn squealed again, gripping Buffy even tighter before she ran off down the boardwalk back to the tattoo shop.
Buffy shook her head, and turned to catch up with the rest of her friends, however no one was in sight but Spike, leaning against a rail smoking a cigarette.
"Where did everyone go?"
Spike tossed the butt into the ocean, and stepped away from the railing.
"Anya, Willow, and Tara found a leather shop and dragged the Whelp inside."
"A leather shop?"
Spike nodded and pointed behind her to a window. Anya was inside, picking up a cat o' nine tails and showing it to a beat red Xander.
"Looks like it's just you and me tonight, pet."
Buffy looked back in the window at the two happy couples and smiled a little sadly.
"Yeah, just you and me."
Seeing the look on Buffy's face, Spike came up beside her and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Come on, I know of a place we can go to lift your spirits."
*****
"A karaoke bar?"
Spike nodded, and grabbed her hand to pull her through the crowd to a small table in the corner.
"Yeah, figured you might get a good laugh at least."
Buffy looked around at the patrons, mostly drunk, chattering and carrying on loudly with one another. A barmaid came up to them and took their drink order; Spike got bourbon, straight up, and Buffy ordered a Diet Coke.
"This is a bar, you can drink something other than that shite."
"I don't want to make an ass of myself tonight if I can help it."
"Eh, I wouldn't let you make an ass of yourself, love."
Buffy looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. There was a prompter and microphone set up to one side of a slightly raised platform, not much higher than the floor itself. Someone was belting out a very bad version of a Britney Spears' song, not to mention the fact that they were a heavyset biker with a falsetto voice.
Buffy shuddered. "God, I wish someone would let him know he isn't Britney Spears! He is ruining any chance I had of ever buying one of her albums."
She tilted her head to the side. "But then again, it wasn't likely I was going to buy one in the first place."
"Do you want me to sing instead?" Spike regarded Buffy over his glass of whiskey.
Buffy looked at Spike, and she grinned. "Yeah, it would perk me up considerably to see you make an ass of yourself."
"Hey now, I'm not that bad."
"Ok, tough guy, go prove it."
"All right, I will." Spike pushed himself up from the table. "Got any suggestions?"
Buffy shrugged. "Nah, anything is better than the crap he is singing now."
Spike strode over to the DJ and flipped through the song titles. Finding one to his liking, he whispered something to the DJ and walked over to the man onstage. The terrifying sounds of Britney Spears came to a stop, and the drunken biker looked kind of pissed.
"Hey man, whad'ya turn off my song for! That was Britney Spears man! She's hot!"
"Yeah, and you're not. Let's go, grease boy."
Spike shoved the drunk guy off, jumped up on the platform and sat on a stool; hooking one foot through the bars.
Twanging guitar music and drums came out of the speakers, and Spike sat there, tapping the beat with one boot, head tipped back and eyes closed, waiting for his cue. When the words started, his eyes snapped open and he addressed the crowd.
*Be what you want to be.
See what you came to see.
Do what you want to be.
I don't like what I what I see.*
There was some good-natured shouting from the crowd as he said this last line. But for the next few verses, Spike only looked at Buffy.
*Like the coldest winter chill.
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter will.
Heaven beside you, hell within.
And you think you have it still.
Heaven beside you.
So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, and I'm not blind.
I'm just see-through
Faded,
Super jaded,
Out of my mind.*
Buffy tried to pull her eyes away from him, she was starting to feel uncomfortable. But Spike's gaze was riveting her to the seat and she couldn't help but listen to every word.
*Do what you want to do
Go out and seek your truth.
When I'm down and blue.
Rather be me than you.
Like the coldest winter chill
Heaven beside you, hell within.
Like the coldest winter will.
Heaven beside you, hell within
And you wish you had it still
Heaven inside you.*
Buffy was seething. She felt as if he was discussing her private pain with the world and laughing at it. How dare he? She started to get up, but seeing the look in Spike's eyes, she sat back on the stool. Buffy realized that he didn't mean it like she thought. He was trying to tell her something though, that much was apparent.
*So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, I'm not blind.
I'm just see-through
Faded,
Super jaded,
Out of my mind.
Like the coldest winter chill.
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter chill
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter will
Heaven beside you, hell within.
And you know you have it still
Heaven inside you.*
What was Spike talking, or uh, singing about? Was that just part of the song? The intense look he gave her when he sang that last line was something that she couldn't ignore. She was going to have to have a serious talk with him when he got off of that stage.
*So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, but you're not blind.
You're just see-through
Faded,
Overrated,
And out of your mind.*
The guitars and drums faded away, and Spike bowed somewhat cheekily, bathed in the soft glow that the stage afforded. The crowd clapped wildly, and they encored.
He went to give the microphone back to the DJ, but he made him keep it and pick out another song.
Spike hesitated, then he looked at Buffy, who had her head down, apparently studying her shoe with sad concentration. So he turned to flip once more through the music book.
Finding a song to his liking, Spike told the DJ and then walked back to the platform, once again sitting on the stool. The gentle guitar started and he sung softly at first, longing apparent in his voice.
*Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom*
The music picked up in tempo and he almost screamed the next verse and chorus.
*Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who won't let himself be
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, losin' control
I'd like to flyyyyyyyy!*
Spike's voice got sad and quiet as he sang the next line.
*But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, losin' control
I'd like to flyyyyyyyy!
But my wings have been so denied!
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Oh I want to be inside of you
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom*
Spike found Buffy's eyes in the crowd and held them closely as he sung the next line, the emotion in his eyes almost painful to see.
*Oh I want to be inside of you*
Buffy's eyes started to brim with tears, and she quickly looked down, blinking furiously to keep them from falling. So much grief and longing was in his voice.... she couldn't help but be affected by it.
*Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, out of control
I'd like to flyyyyyyy!
But my wings have been so denied!*
Once again the bar dissolved in thunderous clapping, sprinkled here and there with a sniffle or a sigh. Buffy's heart was racing, she stood up, almost knocking over her stool, and ran out the door.
Spike saw her run by out of the corner of his eye. Tossing the mike back to the DJ, he took off after her.
"Buffy!"
She kept going, running to the entrance of the boardwalk and down the steps to the pilings beneath. There she stopped and slumped up against a pillar, trying to catch her breath.
"Buffy!"
Spike came running up to her, pulling up short and skidding sand in all directions as his heightened agility kept him from falling down.
"Just go away, Spike."
Spike looked at her. "Buffy...."
"Just go! You're gonna do it anyway, so you should just leave now!"
He regarded her for a moment, his head tilted to the side as understanding dawned on him.
"Is that what this is all about? You think I'm going to stop helping you and go back to wherever?"
Buffy turned her back on him and pressed her face up against the rough wood of the piling.
"You might as well, God knows that everyone else I lo--" Buffy bit her tongue as she realized what she was about to say.
Spike stood there, stunned and disbelieving. "What were you goin' to say?"
Buffy hugged her arms more closely to her body, trying desperately to stop shivering.
"Forget it, I just...nothing. Just get out of here, Spike."
Spike went up to Buffy and spun her around so that she was facing him. He gripped her arms with white knuckles.
"What were you going to say Buffy?"
His voice was shaky and it betrayed all of the emotions he was keeping bubbled beneath the surface.
"I was just going to say that everyone else leaves, so why should you be any different."
Spike looked at her down turned head, and raised a finger to gently push up her pale face.
"Why can't you say it, Buffy? Why can't you admit it to me?"
Buffy tried to turn her face away, but he wouldn't let her. "Look at me, Buffy."
She glanced upwards and rested her gaze on his nose.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me. If you don't love me, I'll leave and never look back. But if you do...." Spike trailed off. "If you love me, Buffy I will never leave you unless you want me to go."
Buffy defiantly looked up into his large, blue eyes. She wanted to say no, she wanted to tell him he could go to hell, she wanted to shout at him, call him names, to deny him. But she couldn't; she couldn't speak a word because she saw his love for her, his anger at her, his hope for a gentle let down.
"I--I...." Buffy looked down but Spike jerked her chin back up sharply. "I......huh..."
Buffy grunted and broke from his grasp, turning away and started walking. She stopped about twenty feet away from him. Her shoulders slumped, and she sighed in defeat.
"I love you." Buffy mouthed softly to herself and she started walking again. But the sharp senses of the one she was leaving behind caught the whispered confession.
Spike couldn't believe his ears, but he didn't let disbelief stop him. If he had truly imagined those three little words, then he was going to pay for it dearly because he intended to act as if they were real regardless of the consequences.
Buffy turned around to look at him. Moving more quickly than could be seen by the human eye, he was standing in front of her. Spike grasped her around the waist and pulled her to him roughly. She didn't resist as he claimed her mouth with all of the pent up passion and longing that was within him. She kissed him back hungrily and he moved from her lips, across her cheek. Sucking on her ear, he moved down and crushing her up further against his chest, he kissed her neck where it joined her shoulder. A moan escaped Buffy's lips as she dropped her purse and raised her hands up to run them through Spike's hair, pulling him deeper into her embrace.
Spike nibbled across her collarbone to the other side of her neck where he started to suck deeply, pulling small droplets of blood to the surface of her skin. Growling, he felt his fangs emerging, but reigned them in as best he could. He slid his hands down to cup her buttocks.
Suddenly, there was the sound of high-pitched giggling in the dark. Buffy and Spike sprang apart and looked to see Xander being chased down the beach by Willow, Tara, and Anya; who was holding up a leather thong. Scrambling behind a pillar, they waited there, praying that they weren't seen.
"Xander! Wait up, honey! I want you to show off your new thong to Will and Tara!"
Xander ran to the front of Buffy and Spike's pillar, backing up against it, he slid down on his butt, trying to catch his breath. Willow, Tara, and Anya caught up, quickly surrounding him.
He looked up at Willow.
"Hey, you're supposed to be my best friend! Why are you letting her torture me like this? It's embarrassing."
Willow laughed. "Because it's fun! You should have seen your face when she held that latex suit up to size for you!"
Tara and Willow laughed harder and Anya started giggling. Xander muttered under his breath and propped his elbows up on his knees, and turned his head to the side. Looking down, he saw Buffy's purse, half buried in the sand.
"Hey guys, stop for a minute."
Xander picked up the small, leather bag. "It's Buffy's purse!"
Buffy, still standing with Spike behind the pillar groaned inwardly.
"Oh no! What if something's happened to her!" Willow looked around, starting to panic.
"Shh... I-I'm sure she's fine, honey."
Tara looked around them and saw the sand, which had been kicked up in patches. "Although it does look like there was some sort of struggle." Tara amended quietly.
Willow frowned. "Come on, guys. We need to start looking for her. Anya, can you go to a payphone and call Giles? We might need him to help, and he needs to know what's happened."
Buffy held up one finger and pressed it against her lips, then she mouthed to Spike, 'let's get out of here'. He nodded quickly, not really wanting to be around when they actively started searching for her.
Quietly, they started to tiptoe away while Willow was still busy handing out instructions on how to go about the search.
"Wait guys, I know of a spell that we can use to track her! Xander, hand me her purse."
Willow took the bag, ignoring Tara's look of disapproval, and sprinkled it with some ground herbs out of her purse, chanting softly into the night.
"Goddess of truth and knowledge, show me that which I seek, make it plain to me as the light of day."
As soon as the chant was ended, the purse in Willow's hands burst into a bright blue and the area started to glow brightly in the same hue. There was a trail of light leading from where they had come from, a patch of illumination on the pillar before them, and then the trail went around the pillar.
"See? Now all we have to do is follow the trail! Anything that has come in contact with her body within the last hour will glow."
Willow, Tara, and Xander started following the trail of light around the wooden piling and down the beach.
*****
"Spike, why are your hands glowing?"
Spike looked down and, sure enough, his hands were glowing, as was the entire front of his shirt and pants.
"Bloody hell, Slayer. You're glowing all over!"
Buffy snickered.
"What's so funny?"
"Your teeth are glowing!"
"What?"
"It looks like you swallowed a glow stick in there, your whole mouth is blue."
Spike wiped at his mouth ineffectually, trying desperately to get the blue glow off of him. He heard Buffy laugh again. "Your hair is glowing too."
"Aww shit, what the soddin' hell is going on here?"
Buffy stopped laughing and looked around, behind her she saw a trail of blue footprints leading back beneath the boardwalk.
"Oh no."
"What?"
Buffy scrunched up her forehead. "I think that Willow cast a spell to find me."
"Then why am I glowing?"
Buffy looked at him, the light was covering him in patches here and there; on his face, hands, and shirtfront mostly. She touched his arm and pulled back her hand, leaving a bright blue handprint.
"I think that it affects anything I touch."
"Cripes, Slayer! What the hell are they going to say when they see me glowing like a bloody jack 'o lantern!"
Hearing a noise, Buffy turned around and saw Xander, Willow, and Tara walking towards them.
"I don't know, but we are about to find out."
"Shit. I just won't turn around is all. Maybe they won't notice."
Buffy glanced at his blue hair. "I don't think that's gonna work, but you can give it a shot."
"Damn right I will!"
Buffy got a wicked gleam in her eye. Reaching out, she grabbed Spike on the rear, almost making him lose his balance. She left a brilliant azure handprint.
"Hey! Do you want the welp to kill me?"
"Shhh... they're almost here."
Willow looked up from the trail that she had been following closely with her eyes and could see Buffy's brilliant form before her. She broke out in a run.
"Buffy!"
Spike closed his eyes. "Here we go..."
Willow almost toppled Buffy over, hugging her tightly.
"Oh my God, I was so worried about you! W-we found your purse, and we thought you were kidnapped or-- or something....and...and....oh my God, I'm so glad you're all right!"
Willow hugged her a little tighter and Xander came up behind them, giving them both a big bear hug.
"Buff! Man, I'm glad you're all right! We were worried."
Buffy tried, but failed to extricate herself from the smothering group hug, finally she gave up and mumbled into whoever's shoulder her face was smushed into.
"I'm fine, really. You guys worry too much."
Tara had come up quietly behind them. "I'm glad you are ok, Buffy. There was a-a lot of sand kicked up back there and it looked like there had been a fight or something."
Willow and Xander finally let go of Buffy and she straightened out her shirt. "Geez, guys, try not to kill me next time ok?"
"Why is Spike's hair glowing?" Tara asked. They all turned to look at Spike, who still had his back to them, hiding his hands in his pockets.
"Uh...well...uh...the Slayer and I were just....just...."
"Sparring, we were just having a friendly fight, you know... to keep in practice and stuff..." Buffy finished for him nervously. "You know," She threw a couple of punches in the air. "Gotta keep in shape and stuff."
Willow looked at Buffy, then at Spike. Looking down, she saw the glowing handprint on the back of his jeans. She started trying to walk around him to see his face better, but Spike turned away.
"I-I think I had better go now, I'll catch up to you all later."
Spike started to walk away, but Buffy reached out a hand and dragged him back by his duster.
"Not so fast, mister, if I have to stay here then so do you."
Spike let his shoulders slump as he turned around, shutting his eyes tightly. When Xander didn't punch him, he popped open one eye and found that they were all staring at him, mouths open in amazement.
"What?" He asked, showing his luminous blue mouth. "You look like stunned sheep."
"Y-your mouth is blue." Xander pointed out.
"Thank you Capt'n Obvious! I'm bloody well aware that my mouth is blue!"
"Buff, why is his mouth blue?"
"Uh..." Buffy trailed off, trying to think of something to say; she scratched her neck absently.
"He bit you!"
"Hey, I didn't bite her. Well...at least not like that anyway...." Spike backed off, eyebrows riding high on his forehead, hands up as Xander started towards him. Buffy held him back with one hand and moved closer to Spike.
"Whoa, down boy! Let me explain..."
"Explain? Explain what? Spike is lit up like a Christmas tree and you have bite marks on your neck! What the hell is going on here?"
"It isn't a bite mark, Xander. It's a...a...hickey...." Buffy mumbled.
"A hickey! Whoa, that is so cool! Spike gave you a hickey? Go Spike!"
Buffy's head snapped up as she heard Dawn speak from over Tara's shoulder. She groaned. "Now my day is complete...."
"So what is with the glowing Buffy trail anyway? And the glowing Buffy too."
Tara piped up. "Oh Willow did a spell to find Buffy 'cause we thought she was in trouble...only...she wasn't in trouble. S-she was with Spike."
"Yeah, speaking of that spell anyway, how long is this supposed to last? 'Cos I really don't fancy walking around looking like I just kissed a Smurf."
*****
"Why is Buffy glowing?" Giles asked as he opened the door to a brightly colored Slayer and the Scoobies.
Dawn volunteered. "Oh, Willow thought Buffy was in trouble so she cast a spell so that they could follow her. It lights up everything she touches."
Giles almost closed the door on Spike, as he entered last.
" 'Scuse me, mate." Spike said as he pushed the door the rest of the way open. Giles stared at him, taking in the bright blue hair, face, hands, and clothes.
"Then why is Spike glowing too?"
Buffy frowned and whimpered, running up the stairs to her room, she slammed the door.
"I wonder what other parts of Spike are glowing..."
"Anya!"
"What? Well I do."
Spike covered his face with one hand and walked to the basement, slamming the door behind him.
Giles had acquired a large house, directly on the beach. The pounding of the surf from the Atlantic Ocean and calling of seagulls surrounded them. It was a peaceful and relaxing setting, which lulled them all into a misplaced sense of security.
After spending two days setting up the house to their liking, they all decided that it was time for a break, and happily put on suitable clothes for an outing to the Boardwalk, which was about a mile down the beach.
Giles agreed to take his turn watching Liam, so the Scoobies were free to roam out and about as long as they pleased.
"Ooh! I want to go in there!" Dawn exclaimed as she saw an open tattoo stall.
"You are not getting a tattoo, Dawn."
"Buffy, don't be silly! I don't want a tattoo anymore, I just want to watch them do it, it looks neat."
"No."
"Oh come on, Buffy! I promise I won't get into trouble or anything." Dawn weedled.
Buffy looked into the stall, where a fat, bald biker type was getting a large, intricate Chinese dragon tattooed around the back of his head. She shuddered.
"Fine, if you want to see someone get ink shoved into his brain, more power to you. Don't go too far off, and meet me at the entrance to the boardwalk by ten."
Dawn jumped up and down with excitement. "Thanks, sis! You're the best!" She squeezed Buffy in a tight embrace.
"Yeah, well if you're late you aren't going anywhere for a month."
"I won't be late. Thank you!"
Dawn squealed again, gripping Buffy even tighter before she ran off down the boardwalk back to the tattoo shop.
Buffy shook her head, and turned to catch up with the rest of her friends, however no one was in sight but Spike, leaning against a rail smoking a cigarette.
"Where did everyone go?"
Spike tossed the butt into the ocean, and stepped away from the railing.
"Anya, Willow, and Tara found a leather shop and dragged the Whelp inside."
"A leather shop?"
Spike nodded and pointed behind her to a window. Anya was inside, picking up a cat o' nine tails and showing it to a beat red Xander.
"Looks like it's just you and me tonight, pet."
Buffy looked back in the window at the two happy couples and smiled a little sadly.
"Yeah, just you and me."
Seeing the look on Buffy's face, Spike came up beside her and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Come on, I know of a place we can go to lift your spirits."
*****
"A karaoke bar?"
Spike nodded, and grabbed her hand to pull her through the crowd to a small table in the corner.
"Yeah, figured you might get a good laugh at least."
Buffy looked around at the patrons, mostly drunk, chattering and carrying on loudly with one another. A barmaid came up to them and took their drink order; Spike got bourbon, straight up, and Buffy ordered a Diet Coke.
"This is a bar, you can drink something other than that shite."
"I don't want to make an ass of myself tonight if I can help it."
"Eh, I wouldn't let you make an ass of yourself, love."
Buffy looked at him out of the corner of her eye, but said nothing. There was a prompter and microphone set up to one side of a slightly raised platform, not much higher than the floor itself. Someone was belting out a very bad version of a Britney Spears' song, not to mention the fact that they were a heavyset biker with a falsetto voice.
Buffy shuddered. "God, I wish someone would let him know he isn't Britney Spears! He is ruining any chance I had of ever buying one of her albums."
She tilted her head to the side. "But then again, it wasn't likely I was going to buy one in the first place."
"Do you want me to sing instead?" Spike regarded Buffy over his glass of whiskey.
Buffy looked at Spike, and she grinned. "Yeah, it would perk me up considerably to see you make an ass of yourself."
"Hey now, I'm not that bad."
"Ok, tough guy, go prove it."
"All right, I will." Spike pushed himself up from the table. "Got any suggestions?"
Buffy shrugged. "Nah, anything is better than the crap he is singing now."
Spike strode over to the DJ and flipped through the song titles. Finding one to his liking, he whispered something to the DJ and walked over to the man onstage. The terrifying sounds of Britney Spears came to a stop, and the drunken biker looked kind of pissed.
"Hey man, whad'ya turn off my song for! That was Britney Spears man! She's hot!"
"Yeah, and you're not. Let's go, grease boy."
Spike shoved the drunk guy off, jumped up on the platform and sat on a stool; hooking one foot through the bars.
Twanging guitar music and drums came out of the speakers, and Spike sat there, tapping the beat with one boot, head tipped back and eyes closed, waiting for his cue. When the words started, his eyes snapped open and he addressed the crowd.
*Be what you want to be.
See what you came to see.
Do what you want to be.
I don't like what I what I see.*
There was some good-natured shouting from the crowd as he said this last line. But for the next few verses, Spike only looked at Buffy.
*Like the coldest winter chill.
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter will.
Heaven beside you, hell within.
And you think you have it still.
Heaven beside you.
So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, and I'm not blind.
I'm just see-through
Faded,
Super jaded,
Out of my mind.*
Buffy tried to pull her eyes away from him, she was starting to feel uncomfortable. But Spike's gaze was riveting her to the seat and she couldn't help but listen to every word.
*Do what you want to do
Go out and seek your truth.
When I'm down and blue.
Rather be me than you.
Like the coldest winter chill
Heaven beside you, hell within.
Like the coldest winter will.
Heaven beside you, hell within
And you wish you had it still
Heaven inside you.*
Buffy was seething. She felt as if he was discussing her private pain with the world and laughing at it. How dare he? She started to get up, but seeing the look in Spike's eyes, she sat back on the stool. Buffy realized that he didn't mean it like she thought. He was trying to tell her something though, that much was apparent.
*So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, I'm not blind.
I'm just see-through
Faded,
Super jaded,
Out of my mind.
Like the coldest winter chill.
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter chill
Heaven beside you, hell within
Like the coldest winter will
Heaven beside you, hell within.
And you know you have it still
Heaven inside you.*
What was Spike talking, or uh, singing about? Was that just part of the song? The intense look he gave her when he sang that last line was something that she couldn't ignore. She was going to have to have a serious talk with him when he got off of that stage.
*So there's problems in your life.
That's fucked up, but you're not blind.
You're just see-through
Faded,
Overrated,
And out of your mind.*
The guitars and drums faded away, and Spike bowed somewhat cheekily, bathed in the soft glow that the stage afforded. The crowd clapped wildly, and they encored.
He went to give the microphone back to the DJ, but he made him keep it and pick out another song.
Spike hesitated, then he looked at Buffy, who had her head down, apparently studying her shoe with sad concentration. So he turned to flip once more through the music book.
Finding a song to his liking, Spike told the DJ and then walked back to the platform, once again sitting on the stool. The gentle guitar started and he sung softly at first, longing apparent in his voice.
*Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom*
The music picked up in tempo and he almost screamed the next verse and chorus.
*Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who won't let himself be
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, losin' control
I'd like to flyyyyyyyy!*
Spike's voice got sad and quiet as he sang the next line.
*But my wings have been so denied
Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
of my feelings beneath
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, losin' control
I'd like to flyyyyyyyy!
But my wings have been so denied!
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Oh I want to be inside of you
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb... in bloom*
Spike found Buffy's eyes in the crowd and held them closely as he sung the next line, the emotion in his eyes almost painful to see.
*Oh I want to be inside of you*
Buffy's eyes started to brim with tears, and she quickly looked down, blinking furiously to keep them from falling. So much grief and longing was in his voice.... she couldn't help but be affected by it.
*Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, out of control
I'd like to flyyyyyyy!
But my wings have been so denied!*
Once again the bar dissolved in thunderous clapping, sprinkled here and there with a sniffle or a sigh. Buffy's heart was racing, she stood up, almost knocking over her stool, and ran out the door.
Spike saw her run by out of the corner of his eye. Tossing the mike back to the DJ, he took off after her.
"Buffy!"
She kept going, running to the entrance of the boardwalk and down the steps to the pilings beneath. There she stopped and slumped up against a pillar, trying to catch her breath.
"Buffy!"
Spike came running up to her, pulling up short and skidding sand in all directions as his heightened agility kept him from falling down.
"Just go away, Spike."
Spike looked at her. "Buffy...."
"Just go! You're gonna do it anyway, so you should just leave now!"
He regarded her for a moment, his head tilted to the side as understanding dawned on him.
"Is that what this is all about? You think I'm going to stop helping you and go back to wherever?"
Buffy turned her back on him and pressed her face up against the rough wood of the piling.
"You might as well, God knows that everyone else I lo--" Buffy bit her tongue as she realized what she was about to say.
Spike stood there, stunned and disbelieving. "What were you goin' to say?"
Buffy hugged her arms more closely to her body, trying desperately to stop shivering.
"Forget it, I just...nothing. Just get out of here, Spike."
Spike went up to Buffy and spun her around so that she was facing him. He gripped her arms with white knuckles.
"What were you going to say Buffy?"
His voice was shaky and it betrayed all of the emotions he was keeping bubbled beneath the surface.
"I was just going to say that everyone else leaves, so why should you be any different."
Spike looked at her down turned head, and raised a finger to gently push up her pale face.
"Why can't you say it, Buffy? Why can't you admit it to me?"
Buffy tried to turn her face away, but he wouldn't let her. "Look at me, Buffy."
She glanced upwards and rested her gaze on his nose.
"Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me. If you don't love me, I'll leave and never look back. But if you do...." Spike trailed off. "If you love me, Buffy I will never leave you unless you want me to go."
Buffy defiantly looked up into his large, blue eyes. She wanted to say no, she wanted to tell him he could go to hell, she wanted to shout at him, call him names, to deny him. But she couldn't; she couldn't speak a word because she saw his love for her, his anger at her, his hope for a gentle let down.
"I--I...." Buffy looked down but Spike jerked her chin back up sharply. "I......huh..."
Buffy grunted and broke from his grasp, turning away and started walking. She stopped about twenty feet away from him. Her shoulders slumped, and she sighed in defeat.
"I love you." Buffy mouthed softly to herself and she started walking again. But the sharp senses of the one she was leaving behind caught the whispered confession.
Spike couldn't believe his ears, but he didn't let disbelief stop him. If he had truly imagined those three little words, then he was going to pay for it dearly because he intended to act as if they were real regardless of the consequences.
Buffy turned around to look at him. Moving more quickly than could be seen by the human eye, he was standing in front of her. Spike grasped her around the waist and pulled her to him roughly. She didn't resist as he claimed her mouth with all of the pent up passion and longing that was within him. She kissed him back hungrily and he moved from her lips, across her cheek. Sucking on her ear, he moved down and crushing her up further against his chest, he kissed her neck where it joined her shoulder. A moan escaped Buffy's lips as she dropped her purse and raised her hands up to run them through Spike's hair, pulling him deeper into her embrace.
Spike nibbled across her collarbone to the other side of her neck where he started to suck deeply, pulling small droplets of blood to the surface of her skin. Growling, he felt his fangs emerging, but reigned them in as best he could. He slid his hands down to cup her buttocks.
Suddenly, there was the sound of high-pitched giggling in the dark. Buffy and Spike sprang apart and looked to see Xander being chased down the beach by Willow, Tara, and Anya; who was holding up a leather thong. Scrambling behind a pillar, they waited there, praying that they weren't seen.
"Xander! Wait up, honey! I want you to show off your new thong to Will and Tara!"
Xander ran to the front of Buffy and Spike's pillar, backing up against it, he slid down on his butt, trying to catch his breath. Willow, Tara, and Anya caught up, quickly surrounding him.
He looked up at Willow.
"Hey, you're supposed to be my best friend! Why are you letting her torture me like this? It's embarrassing."
Willow laughed. "Because it's fun! You should have seen your face when she held that latex suit up to size for you!"
Tara and Willow laughed harder and Anya started giggling. Xander muttered under his breath and propped his elbows up on his knees, and turned his head to the side. Looking down, he saw Buffy's purse, half buried in the sand.
"Hey guys, stop for a minute."
Xander picked up the small, leather bag. "It's Buffy's purse!"
Buffy, still standing with Spike behind the pillar groaned inwardly.
"Oh no! What if something's happened to her!" Willow looked around, starting to panic.
"Shh... I-I'm sure she's fine, honey."
Tara looked around them and saw the sand, which had been kicked up in patches. "Although it does look like there was some sort of struggle." Tara amended quietly.
Willow frowned. "Come on, guys. We need to start looking for her. Anya, can you go to a payphone and call Giles? We might need him to help, and he needs to know what's happened."
Buffy held up one finger and pressed it against her lips, then she mouthed to Spike, 'let's get out of here'. He nodded quickly, not really wanting to be around when they actively started searching for her.
Quietly, they started to tiptoe away while Willow was still busy handing out instructions on how to go about the search.
"Wait guys, I know of a spell that we can use to track her! Xander, hand me her purse."
Willow took the bag, ignoring Tara's look of disapproval, and sprinkled it with some ground herbs out of her purse, chanting softly into the night.
"Goddess of truth and knowledge, show me that which I seek, make it plain to me as the light of day."
As soon as the chant was ended, the purse in Willow's hands burst into a bright blue and the area started to glow brightly in the same hue. There was a trail of light leading from where they had come from, a patch of illumination on the pillar before them, and then the trail went around the pillar.
"See? Now all we have to do is follow the trail! Anything that has come in contact with her body within the last hour will glow."
Willow, Tara, and Xander started following the trail of light around the wooden piling and down the beach.
*****
"Spike, why are your hands glowing?"
Spike looked down and, sure enough, his hands were glowing, as was the entire front of his shirt and pants.
"Bloody hell, Slayer. You're glowing all over!"
Buffy snickered.
"What's so funny?"
"Your teeth are glowing!"
"What?"
"It looks like you swallowed a glow stick in there, your whole mouth is blue."
Spike wiped at his mouth ineffectually, trying desperately to get the blue glow off of him. He heard Buffy laugh again. "Your hair is glowing too."
"Aww shit, what the soddin' hell is going on here?"
Buffy stopped laughing and looked around, behind her she saw a trail of blue footprints leading back beneath the boardwalk.
"Oh no."
"What?"
Buffy scrunched up her forehead. "I think that Willow cast a spell to find me."
"Then why am I glowing?"
Buffy looked at him, the light was covering him in patches here and there; on his face, hands, and shirtfront mostly. She touched his arm and pulled back her hand, leaving a bright blue handprint.
"I think that it affects anything I touch."
"Cripes, Slayer! What the hell are they going to say when they see me glowing like a bloody jack 'o lantern!"
Hearing a noise, Buffy turned around and saw Xander, Willow, and Tara walking towards them.
"I don't know, but we are about to find out."
"Shit. I just won't turn around is all. Maybe they won't notice."
Buffy glanced at his blue hair. "I don't think that's gonna work, but you can give it a shot."
"Damn right I will!"
Buffy got a wicked gleam in her eye. Reaching out, she grabbed Spike on the rear, almost making him lose his balance. She left a brilliant azure handprint.
"Hey! Do you want the welp to kill me?"
"Shhh... they're almost here."
Willow looked up from the trail that she had been following closely with her eyes and could see Buffy's brilliant form before her. She broke out in a run.
"Buffy!"
Spike closed his eyes. "Here we go..."
Willow almost toppled Buffy over, hugging her tightly.
"Oh my God, I was so worried about you! W-we found your purse, and we thought you were kidnapped or-- or something....and...and....oh my God, I'm so glad you're all right!"
Willow hugged her a little tighter and Xander came up behind them, giving them both a big bear hug.
"Buff! Man, I'm glad you're all right! We were worried."
Buffy tried, but failed to extricate herself from the smothering group hug, finally she gave up and mumbled into whoever's shoulder her face was smushed into.
"I'm fine, really. You guys worry too much."
Tara had come up quietly behind them. "I'm glad you are ok, Buffy. There was a-a lot of sand kicked up back there and it looked like there had been a fight or something."
Willow and Xander finally let go of Buffy and she straightened out her shirt. "Geez, guys, try not to kill me next time ok?"
"Why is Spike's hair glowing?" Tara asked. They all turned to look at Spike, who still had his back to them, hiding his hands in his pockets.
"Uh...well...uh...the Slayer and I were just....just...."
"Sparring, we were just having a friendly fight, you know... to keep in practice and stuff..." Buffy finished for him nervously. "You know," She threw a couple of punches in the air. "Gotta keep in shape and stuff."
Willow looked at Buffy, then at Spike. Looking down, she saw the glowing handprint on the back of his jeans. She started trying to walk around him to see his face better, but Spike turned away.
"I-I think I had better go now, I'll catch up to you all later."
Spike started to walk away, but Buffy reached out a hand and dragged him back by his duster.
"Not so fast, mister, if I have to stay here then so do you."
Spike let his shoulders slump as he turned around, shutting his eyes tightly. When Xander didn't punch him, he popped open one eye and found that they were all staring at him, mouths open in amazement.
"What?" He asked, showing his luminous blue mouth. "You look like stunned sheep."
"Y-your mouth is blue." Xander pointed out.
"Thank you Capt'n Obvious! I'm bloody well aware that my mouth is blue!"
"Buff, why is his mouth blue?"
"Uh..." Buffy trailed off, trying to think of something to say; she scratched her neck absently.
"He bit you!"
"Hey, I didn't bite her. Well...at least not like that anyway...." Spike backed off, eyebrows riding high on his forehead, hands up as Xander started towards him. Buffy held him back with one hand and moved closer to Spike.
"Whoa, down boy! Let me explain..."
"Explain? Explain what? Spike is lit up like a Christmas tree and you have bite marks on your neck! What the hell is going on here?"
"It isn't a bite mark, Xander. It's a...a...hickey...." Buffy mumbled.
"A hickey! Whoa, that is so cool! Spike gave you a hickey? Go Spike!"
Buffy's head snapped up as she heard Dawn speak from over Tara's shoulder. She groaned. "Now my day is complete...."
"So what is with the glowing Buffy trail anyway? And the glowing Buffy too."
Tara piped up. "Oh Willow did a spell to find Buffy 'cause we thought she was in trouble...only...she wasn't in trouble. S-she was with Spike."
"Yeah, speaking of that spell anyway, how long is this supposed to last? 'Cos I really don't fancy walking around looking like I just kissed a Smurf."
*****
"Why is Buffy glowing?" Giles asked as he opened the door to a brightly colored Slayer and the Scoobies.
Dawn volunteered. "Oh, Willow thought Buffy was in trouble so she cast a spell so that they could follow her. It lights up everything she touches."
Giles almost closed the door on Spike, as he entered last.
" 'Scuse me, mate." Spike said as he pushed the door the rest of the way open. Giles stared at him, taking in the bright blue hair, face, hands, and clothes.
"Then why is Spike glowing too?"
Buffy frowned and whimpered, running up the stairs to her room, she slammed the door.
"I wonder what other parts of Spike are glowing..."
"Anya!"
"What? Well I do."
Spike covered his face with one hand and walked to the basement, slamming the door behind him.
