Author's Note: Orson Scott Card owns all of the characters and places mentioned in Ender's Game, The rest are mine. Enjoy.~
Chapter 16
Athena
Ender stepped off the ship and onto the solid ground of Demosthenes. He was beginning to get sick of these colonized Bugger planets that were named after his friends, his family, pseudonyms that his family members used. Didn't they get it? Didn't they understand that they weren't gods, they were human beings who killed and manipulated and maneuvered people they didn't even know? Now, that wasn't them. It was just Ender.
Mazer was right; survival always came first, then happiness. Ender carried the burden and conscience of a billion billion murdered Bugger lives. He carried within him the throbbing thought that he, himself, had wiped out an entire species, the whole Bugger race. Sentience was his problem. If he was a non-sentient being, He'd never have to worry about those lives. But he was human and sentient, so his life was empty. He'd sacrificed his happiness for the lives of Earth. Yet, that's what he had been born to do.
Demosthenes was lush and actually quite beautiful, compared to some of the planets Ender had visited in the past. It was quite a bit like Earth, or rather the earth he was born on, but it could never compare to the lake and mansion and raft that he left behind before going to Command School. Before he won the war.
The planet had been nicely colonized years before and actually could be called a mini-nation, yet it really wasn't under the I.F. It was not primitive like most of the colony planets, but instead was modern and metropolitan; a New York City. New New York City. It had all the elements. Skyscrapers and city blocks and taxis and the bustle of NYC, to which Ender never had a chance to see. Hadn't they learned, he thought? A chance to start over, to prevent all the downfalls of Mother Earth, but they do the same. Idiots.
Ender was almost twenty-two, yet he hadn't settled anywhere for long since his time with the first colony on Ender's Earth, the one they named after him. The first colonized Bugger planet. The only person Ender ever loved was Valentine, who was now always with him. In his mind, no one else really mattered. He had never thought to find someone else to love. He thought that no girlfriend or wife could ever restore his happiness. That had been lost a long time ago. Plus, he never stuck around enough to get involved with anyone. Who would love such a killer, anyway?
Andy, come on. We're about to be greeted by the Committee, Valentine called. He never went by Ender anymore. It was always Andrew Wiggin, and only Valentine would call him Andy, which was the closest to a nickname that he would let her get. Every once in a while, Val would slip and whisper , but she'd instantly regret it and try to patch it up with various sentence fragments. was a past life. Yet, he still referred to himself as Ender. It beat subconsciously within him, just like the murdered Buggers.
He stepped away from the circular window he'd been looking out of and jogged down the boarding ramp to catch up with his sister. There were only eight of them on the flight, most of them years older than Ender and Valentine; yet, the effects of high-speed, deep space travel could fool anyone.
At the end of the boarding ramp was a circular room. It was a routine stop after a space flight. They all knew what this was. The doors closed around them as they stepped into the white room, and a low buzzing sound resonated off the curved walls. A sanitizing gas was being pumped through the vents above. Ender winced at the clean, unnatural smell that followed every stellar trip. Quickly, the gas shut off, and the two doors, leading to the clean air of Demosthenes, opened.
The sunlight was blinding. Ender was so used to the artificial space ship light that the natural light gave him a headache. Yet, quickly, his eyes adjusted and he saw before him something much more radiant than any sun.
Welcome to Demosthenes, she cooed. Her eyes were an intense gray, and held Ender's gaze. She flashed a grin at Ender's gaping mouth, as Valentine prompted him to shut it. We are of the Greeting Committee, she said still smiling, motioning to the men and women behind her. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. She continued on talking, giving the greeting speech that was customary to all of the planets. Ender paid no attention to her actual words, for her voice was far too heavenly for that. Instead, he paid attention to her sounds, both the one she was emitting from her mouth and the one her beauty was giving off silently. Her gray eyes were more dazzling than any star, any nebula, anything celestial Ender had ever seen, as was the rest of her. Her curly brown hair was swept into a loose ponytail at the nape of her neck, exposing her high cheekbones. Everything about her was beautiful, but it was her eyes, those gray orbs that caught him dead in his tracks.
Come on, you, Valentine urged, elbowing him sharply. The welcoming speech was over and the rest of their group had already ventured on. Ender and Val were the only ones left behind. Ender began to walk with his sister, but he turned around and walked back to the girl.
Her back was to him, and her hands were up, fiddling with the rubber band that held her loose curls. Ender tapped her shoulder lightly, and she spun around quickly, obviously a little bit startled. The golden brown curls hung in her face, and upon noticing Ender, she flashed a radiant smile.
I have a question, Ender spoke clumsily. She was more beautiful than he had originally thought, and he could not remember a time when he sounded so childish, so innocent. Maybe that was because he was never allowed to be. What's your name?
Her gray eyes gleamed wildly. she purred. Ender's jaw dropped. Athena. The Greek goddess of war and victory. Could this be any more ironic? Ender's lips moved over her name, but no sound protruded. Ender must have looked dumbfounded, so the young woman spoke up. What's yours?
The nickname flew out of his mouth without warning. Where had that come from? he muttered quickly, trying to cover up his mistake. Andrew Wiggin. Whichever you like.
Okay, Andy, she laughed. He was surprised. She didn't even flinch at the mention of him being a Wiggin. Everybody knew two Wiggins: Peter Wiggin, the great Hegemon after the war, and himself, ENDER WIGGIN. The greatest war hero. The kid commander. The winner of the war. Maybe she didn't know who he was. Impossible. Everyone had heard of him. He was in history textbooks and vids. Everywhere he went he was constantly harassed by countless hoards of people. Maybe she just didn't care. So what was your question? she asked. Those eyes were amazing.
Well, I, uh... that was my question, Ender nervously mumbled. He hadn't planned on saying much more after asking her name.
She sounded disappointed, and turned her head slightly away, uncomfortable with the awkward silence.
Hey do you know a good place to eat around here? Ender asked foolishly. What was he doing? He needed Valentine to help him out with this one. He needed her to pull him back to reality. He hadn't been on Demosthenes for longer than an hour, and yet he was asking this beautiful girl out on a date.
At his inquiry, her face brightened up. Yeah, there's this great place called the Galactic Diner. They serve great food and are super nice. Not too expensive either.
That sounds great, Ender pronounced, fishing for something else to say. He had just asked someone out on a date, but he had no idea where this place was. And actually, he really hadn't asked her out yet. He had just stated that he was hungry. Uh, I don't really know where this place is. Could you give me directions or an address or something...
I could take you there. That wouldn't be a problem for me. Ender couldn't believe how assertive she was. She asked him out on a date. Wow. He would have to get used to this stuff. I don't get off work until 17:30, so how about dinner?
Dinner sounds great! Ender said, smiling.
Oh, where are you staying? I'll get you, but do you have the name of the place you're staying at?
Um, yeah. Hang on a sec. Ender raced through his pockets trying to find the card that said the name of his hotel. It took him a good five minutes to find it, and he was out of breath when he did. Here you go, he sighed, handing her the card.
The Locke Towers, she uttered. That's a great place. Not too far from my office building. So I'll pick you up at, oh, say, 18:15?
All right, it's a date! She flashed him a stunning smile and turned to catch up with the rest of her committee. Ender just walked away in a daze, until he caught up with Valentine, who was leaning impatiently on a pillar. The two of them hailed a taxi and flew off to their hotel.
It was 18:00, and Ender was running around his hotel room like a maniac. Val was calmly sitting on a bed, flipping through many channels on the vid monitor.
What do I wear? What do I wear? WHAT DO I WEAR? Ender screamed wildly. His hands were shaking and his voice quivered with each word.
Valentine spoke coolly, you look fine in what you have on. You might be going for the vintage' look with that plaid shirt and those khakis, but you look fine and I'm sure your date won't really care about what you're wearing. She was probably right. Ender flopped face down beside her on the bed and let out a long, exasperated sigh. The loud ringing of the antique phone broke the moment of peace, and Val slowly moved to pick up the receiver.
Hello...? Hello! How... how are you? ...Ender? Yes, he's here. Okay, one moment, I'll get him. The cheery voice she had at the beginning of the conversation was now a dull, worrisome tone.
Ender whispered into the receiver. There was a long pause.
It was an aged but familiar voice.
Ender uttered, incredulous. The burly man's voice now sounded skinny and anemic. Could this really be Ender's oldest friend, since the days before Battle School?
Ender, I need to make this short. His words were long and drawn out. Ender, I'm dying. I'm old. I... I have little energy left. I... I want to see you. I want to see you before... before I die.
A tear ran down Ender's cheek. Okay. Where are you?
Ender. I'm on Ender. I was the Director of Colonization there. I never left. Endapolis. That's where I am. There were many immense pauses between his words.
Okay, I'll leave tomorrow. It will take two years, though. Oh, God, you'll be dead by the time I reach you. Two years of travel in space is fifty on a planet. Ender sobbed helplessly at his realization.
It's all right, Graff mumbled, though, he had a hint of victory in his voice. They can preserve me from dying for up to two years. New technology on Ender. Don't delay, though.
Ender paused for a long time. Graff, if I don't make it...
Don't say that.
Graff, I love you.
Yeah, I've always felt that way about you too. Like a son to me.
I'll see you. Click. Ender set the receiver down in on the cradle.
What's going on? Valentine asked, worried.
I'll explain later. It's 18:20, and I'm late. Just pack your stuff up again. We're leaving for Ender first thing in the morning. He picked up his jacket and walked out the door.
The night before Ender left Demosthenes was wonderful, better than he ever expected. He honestly felt that he was in love with Athena. But he had to bid her farewell, and tell her that he would never see her again, for she would be dead before he could return. Her tears left his heart colder than ever before, but Graff's death left his heart frozen.
Ender knew that death was a part of life, and sometimes, he questioned whether it was life that was a part of death. He had witnessed so many of them, they became routine, but he hated on how he had to give up on people he loved.
Ender was the self-proclaimed Speaker of the Dead, but he was really the speaker for all those who were physically dead, for those whose hearts had stopped beating. But who was the speaker for him? who was the Speaker for the Dead at Heart? Who was the speaker for those whose hearts had not stopped beating, but for those whose hearts had stopped feeling. He had to find him. He searched for a very long time.
