Congratulate me… go on, do it because you'll never guess what I did. Nope, not that! I got a hold of Severus Snape! I know, it's amazing! Apparently he read the last story I wrote about Harry and was quite amused. Unlike Potter though, he let me print the conversation I had with him, which I recorded instead of writing it. Much less work for me. Not that I mind, because I'd work forever for him. Perhaps you don't know how big of a fan I am of his, but I'm sure you'll figure it out after reading this. I honestly thought I was going to die with excitement when he agreed. We had never met before this, so you can imagine how sick with anticipation I was. I won't blather on anymore, on with this show!
I sit in his office, waiting patiently for the man of the hour to arrive. Every time I hear footsteps outside, I get all excited that it's him. I'm trying to figure out how to use the cursed tape recorder I brought to record our conversation. Eventually, it works, but only after I vow never to trust the damned Muggle technology again. I hear footsteps and the door opens. My heart jumps into my mouth as Severus Snape enters the room.
"Nice to meet you, Mercury." He says
"AH! He said my name, he actually said my name!"
"Er, yeah." He gives me a very strange look.
"Sorry… damn, he's even hotter in life!"
"Pardon me?" An even stranger look.
"Did I say that out loud?" I ask, blushing furiously.
"Uh, yeah, you did."
"Sorry…"
"What was that supposed to mean anyway?"
"What?"
"That I'm even hotter in life."
"Oh yeah… well…"
"Well what? Spit it out, girl."
"You see… I think you're kind of… well… handsome…"
"You do?" A pink tinge is coming to his cheeks.
"Well, yeah." I reply, grinning because his blushing seems to make him even sexier.
"Oh."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry."
"But, you seem kind of angry."
"Not angry, just surprised. No one's ever told me that before." His cheeks become redder.
"Really? I find that hard to believe."
"Why?"
"You may not realize this, but you're really hot."
"Am not."
"You are! Trust me, I have a lot of experience in this area."
"I don't believe you."
"You don't think I have experience in this area?"
"Oh, I believe that, I just think you're playing some kind of mean joke on me, telling me I'm handsome."
"I'm not joking! Best looking teacher here, I guarantee it."
"Then why do all the girls swoon over Lupin?"
"Yes, I agree, Lupin is a very handsome man too. But, you… well… I think those girls must be on drugs."
"You make me wish I had you as a student."
"I wish I had you as a teacher."
"We probably should get off this topic, you print this and your boyfriend might get jealous." He blushes more and averts his eyes.
"I don't have a boyfriend." I tell him blankly.
"That I really don't believe."
"No, it's true."
"Come off it."
I sigh. "You really ought to try believe at least one thing I tell you."
"I do believe one thing."
"And what would that be?"
"That you have a lot of experience with good looking men."
"Not exactly a lot."
"Now you are lying."
"You flatter me. Stop it."
"So you can flatter me, but I can't flatter you?"
"I wasn't flattering you, I was simply telling you the blatantly obvious truth."
"Bull."
"You're not going to believe me. That's your problem, I suppose, though I wish you did, because you are very handsome. But, I didn't come here so we could talk about this, so why don't we just get onto what you want me to write about." I tell him, feeling very disappointed.
"I'm sorry." He says, staring at his desk.
"For what?"
"You seem sad."
"You just kind of made me wish I never told you."
"Oh."
"Most men would be happy to hear something like that, but you tell me I'm a liar."
"I'm sorry, it's just that… like I said, no one has ever said anything like that to me before. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." He looks very sad now, making me feel very bad, but increasing my attraction to him because this new look is just so darn sexy.
"It doesn't matter." I reply. "Let's just get on with this."
"All right…" he pauses. "Want to hear something funny? I've forgotten what I wanted you to write now."
"Great."
"Sorry for wasting your time, you can go."
"It wasn't a waste of my time, I've wanted to meet you for ages now."
"You have?" He asks, with wide eyes.
"Oh come on, don't tell me you're surprised after all those things I just told you?"
"I suppose not. But, it might take a few days for me to remember what I wanted you to write about, I've got a terrible memory."
"I'll come back then." I say, putting my bag over my shoulder and beginning to stand up.
"Well, I was thinking… it would be a whole lot easier if you just stayed here for a while…"
Maybe to be continued…
I know, I know. I am a strange and disturbing person. Snape?! Ew, gross, right? Sorry, but I think he's damn sexy. Alan Rickman as Snape, that's just amazing. Go to http://www.hpgalleries.com/mgallery43.htm to see what I mean. You'll see that this might not be continued. It all depends on how many people review telling me that I'm disgusting for actually finding him remotely attractive. 'Tis all personal opinion, my dears. You see, I also find Lupin, Sirius, Bill Weasley and the twins attractive, but Snape… he's… amazing. Well, I'll stop now, as I'm prolly making a few of you puke. I would be writing my Big Brother series, but a virus attacked my poor 'puter and ate the C drive, along with all my stories and I haven't been able to retrieve my Muse to start writing it again. Bit of a bugger really, since I was almost done part nine. Grrrrrr… No more of my complaining, until next time
Mother Mercury (who, although she finds Snape attractive, realizes that he's about twenty five years older than she is and, well, whatever may happen in the future of the story, she would never really do. And Mr. Rickman? He's got forty years on her!)
