Ron, Harry, and Hermione stood outside on the Hogwarts lawn. It was their fourth of the day: Flying class with Madame Hooch. Ron and Harry were both doing great, but Hermione was looking at her broomstick with a somewhat pale and sickish glance.
"Okay, kids," Madame Hooch began. "Now we will begin our segment on flying the intermediate obstacle course. Mount your broomsticks please."
Most of the students finished the obstacle course with ease, except Hermione. Near the end of the class, Madame Hooch was still trying to coax her through the first hoop.
Ron and Harry sat on the sidelines, watching.
"Wow, Hermione's really bad at this." Harry said, stating the obvious.
"Yeah," observed Ron, "she really sucks at anything where she has to move."
Cho Chang came over to sit with them. "Wow, looks like little miss 'I'm so tight-assed my buttcheeks squeak when I walk' isn't doing so hot."
"Yeah, she's kind of pathetic," said Ron.
"The only reason we're friends with her is because she gives us answers on Snape's tests," Harry added.
"Yeah, she's really smart." Ron sighed. "Too bad she's so annoying and ugly."
"She can't fly at all!" Cho said. She stood up and yelled, "HEY, HERMIONE, YOU SUCK! GET OFF THE COURSE, YOU HALF-WITTED COWPAT!!"
Ron and Harry tried really hard not to laugh, but they just couldn't help themselves.
Hermione looked over at Cho Chang and yelled back, "SHUT UP, YOU TWO-KNUT HOEBAG!--COME UP HERE AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU – "
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"Bishana, your potions are simply dreadful," Snape said with a sigh.
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"Miss Granger, please concentrate on your flying," Madam Hooch scolded, back on the flying grounds.
Hermione pouted, and tried the loop one more time. This time, she looked at Cho Chang out of the corner of her eye. I'll show that ugly air-headed twit, she thought.
Unfortunately for Hermione, she never got the chance to show Cho Chang anything. Because at that moment, a gust of wind blew her off course and high up into the air. She lost control and fell off her broomstick nearly six stories to the hard pavement. Then she proceeded to quickly and unceremoniously die.
Harry and Ron jumped to their feet. "WOW!" they shouted in joy. "THIS IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN SINCE POPCORN!!!"
**
Later, that month in the Gryffindor common room, while the atmosphere was a lot happier than it had ever been before, and things smelled better too, Ron and Harry's marks had taken a smoking turn downward.
