TITLE: BEARD

By Jemmiah

*N.B: If anyone wishes to read any of the other related and longer fics in the Jemmiah Chronicle series most of them are in the process of being archived on my sister's website. The link is included in my profile. There is also a yahoo group for the Chronicles should anyone wish to join. Thanks you :)

*************

Tired. He was tired; there was no two ways about it.

He'd fought fearsome creatures in the most inhospitable of environments. He'd battled people who were evil through and through, faced challenges of such magnitude that it would scare the living daylights out of an ordinary person and still come out of it - not always smiling and usually wrapped in some kind of bandaging - but this

This was different. This was just something on a completely different level.

His poor aching limbs were being sorely tested today. He'd always thought himself to be a fit young man, twenty one years of age and full of vigour (too much according to his master) but no amount of training could compensate for the pain and suffering his weary legs were enduring today. Marathon training sessions and hours of sabre practise couldn't prepare him for the awfulness of being dragged round the galaxy's largest department stores by two VERY determined females.

How did they manage it? What was it within the female brain that enabled them to go from store to store just LOOKING at things - not even buying! - for hour after draining hour? What unique ingredient did women possess in their genetic makeup that let them show stamina reserves in abundance that men could not even hope to measure up to?

What was it about shoes that women found so fascinating???

These were questions that had been turning over and over in Obi-Wan's mind as he trudged along despondently after Jemmiah and Rela, the latter having insisted that it was about time her friend got out of the quarters she shared with Evla where she had been hiding herself away ever since news of her pregnancy had got out. Too frightened to go out and be stared at, too bored to stay in and lament her situation, Rela had known she would find it difficult to coax her away. It was only when she had strategically mentioned the word 'shopping' that the temptation to go had become far too much for the usually lively Corellian.

Evla, not enjoying the best of health, had insisted that she go out and have some fun. Qui-Gon had been horrified, imagining all sorts of scenariosover-tiring herself, getting drunk in cantinas, being hurt by clumsy shoppers barging each other in the search for the best items. In the end he had relented on one condition: Obi-Wan went with them both.

Jemmiah hadn't seemed too happy with that edict and Obi-Wan was even less happy about it. The padawan knew that he should make the most of the fact Qui-Gon was actually speaking to him now without treating him to his legendary repertoire of glares and disapproving looks but somewhere at the back of his mind Obi-Wan got the idea that his master was actually using this as a punishment more than ensuring that Jemmiah came to no harm. Anyway, as if he would be of any use once Jemmy and Rela got an idea in their heads

He'd tried for Jemmy's sake at first to look interested. He'd spent most of his time wondering how she would look in the various short dresses on display before remembering her present condition and that in eight months or so down the line she wouldn't be able to see her feet. Some of the baby stuff that Rela had dragged Jemmy excitedly round (Jemmiah looking far from thrilled) had been quite sweet, he supposed. But then Rela and Jemmy seemed to have gone on a quest to find the most impractical pair of shoes on the planet and his heart had sunk deeper into his already blistered and bruised feet.

Eventually, he decided to assert some kind of authority over Jemmiah by playing his "Qui-Gon told me to look after you" trump card, which inevitably failed to work. Spotting a pair of highly unstable looking shoes that Obi-Wan felt sure would need a ladder to get into them Jemmiah continued onwards regardless of how he felt, ignoring his not very subtle attempts to get her to slow down or call it a day. He shuffled his feet dispiritedly against the carpet and stared heavenward but all to no avail.

It was as if he were being deliberately shunned for some reason

"You look tired." He suggested kindly, taking her arm. "Perhaps you should rest, or maybe go back home. I can call an air cab"

"Thanks Ben." Jemmy grinned without looking directly at his face. "But I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Obi-Wan frowned, trying to use the force to see if she was lying at all. "Because I don't want you overdoing things."

"That's kind of you but really I am okay." Jemmy examined the shoes and held one of them out to Rela. "What do you think, Rel? Too big?"

"Too pricey!" Rela made a disparaging little noise at the back of her throat as she examined the tag. "Put them back without looking at it. Don't want you getting any nasty shocks!"

Jemmy sighed but did as she was told and Obi-Wan began to feel hopeful that this was the beginning of the end of the shopping trip from hell.

"Hey, that pair looks okay!" Rela pointed to a pair of shoes half way across the store that Obi-Wan knew fine well they couldn't possibly see properly without superhuman vision. Or maybe it was that inbuilt female shoe-thing again.

"No." Obi-Wan tightened his grasp on Jemmy. "I told you, you're tiring yourself out. I won't stand for it."

"Ben!" Jemmy huffed at him.

"Qui-Gon told me to look after you and that is what I intend to do." Obi-Wan scolded her as gently as he could. "Now, you look like you could do with a rest. How about we find a café somewhere and I buy you a drink?"

"In other words he's hungry and thirsty and his feet hurt!" Rela laughed at the annoyed face he turned on her, a face that was currently sporting a rather unattractive four-day beard.

"I'm just concerned for Jemmy, that's all." Obi-Wan felt his ire raise slightly at Rela's assumption he was more concerned about the state of his feeteven if it was true.

"Ben, I could go round for hours yet!" Jemmy smiled, still not looking directly at him.

"I don't want you in the infirmary in need of therapy!" he shot back, aware that people were beginning to stare at him.

"This IS therapy." Jemmy replied politely. "Retail therapy. My fave kindinfact the only kind that works for a girl. That and chocolate."

"Yup, the old chocolate is a fave with me as well." Agreed Rela. "C'mon, let's go to the next floor!"

"What's on the next floor?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice laden with dread.

Rela and Jemmiah looked at each other gleefully.

"More shoes!" they said in unison.

*************

As they had headed up to the next floor Obi-Wan stepped up his campaign to get the girls to see things his way. He'd tried appealing to their better nature but had soon discovered that when it came to shopping they didn't have one. Now he'd have to resort to that old favorite: emotional blackmail.

"Jemmy, I want you to stop all this running about!" Obi-Wan warned her, his voice dropping to a growl to emphasize how he felt on the matter.

"I'm in a lift, Ben. How am I running about?" Jemmiah asked him over her shoulder.

When Rela tittered slightly Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and carried on.

"Look, that's my child you're carrying in there." He muttered in her ear.

"So?"

"Don't I get a say in the way you should be looking after yourselves? You have a responsibility"

"Ordinarily Ben, yes. But possession is nine tenths of the law on Corellia and as I am the one who is doing the incubation bit and not you I would tactfully ask you to not try and tell me what is good for myself or the baby."

"Jemmy"

"I'm teaching it a lesson, Ben. If it's a girl I'm going to make sure it's a shopaholic." Jemmy again avoided his face and this time Obi-Wan demanded to know what was going on. It was almost as if she didn't want him anywhere near him! Something was wrong and he was going to find out what right away. Then maybe they could get away home at long last

"Right, that's it." Obi-Wan folded his arms and ignored the stares from the other shoppers in the packed turbo lift. "Tell me what it is that's got you two so anxious not to be near me."

"Dunno what you mean." Rela shrugged, looking at the floor. He could see by the look on her face that this was not true in the least.

"You and Jemmy have dragged me all over the city, mostly to look at shoes. You know I hate shoes! It's like you're doing it on purpose in the hope that I will go and leave you! I want to know!"

"Ben, really. It's nothing" Jemmy began to chuckle with laughter.

"I don't believe you." Kenobi's eyes narrowed.

"Noreally." Rela covered her face with her hands.

The blue-green eyes flared a dangerously darker shade altogether. It was so frustrating! He knew he didn't own Jemmiah and what was more he didn't want to, but to see her carrying on like this as if there was nothing different, as if their situation hadn't been altered made Obi-Wan feel somewhat helpless. And then there was Rela, whom Jemmy always turned to in times of need. Why did she never turn to him? And above all else, why did it make him feel so jealous?

"Okay, you're right. At least up to a point." Jemmiah conceded, wondering how Obi-Wan was going to like her answer. "Pleasetry not to get too offended, hmmm?"

That didn't sound too good, Obi-Wan thought grimly to himself. It was obviously something that she and Rela had both discussed at some stage if appearances were anything to go by. The way they had looked at him all during the day, little smirks and hesitant snickers when they thought his back was turned or he was too far behind them to seewhat had they been discussing? If it was anything like the things that female flimsy mags suggested they talked about he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"It's" Jemmy swallowed, her eyes skimming just past his shoulder.

"What?"

"Its' the beard." Her mouth wavered up and down as if fighting the urge to howl with laughter and Obi-Wan could see the effort that both she and Rela were making not to do so by forcing the corners of their mouths down.

"My beard?" Obi-Wan wondered if he had heard properly. "My beard? What is wrong with it?"

"Obi, it's hideous!" Rela suddenly found the courage to speak out loud what had been bothering them for so long. "It looks like you've been hit smack in the face by a prickly mammal who you've hit whilst flying a speeder bike at tremendous speed!"

"I think it suits me!" Obi-Wan felt his chest puff up as he defended himself.

"Yeah, if you're into the speeder-kill look." Agreed Jemmiah. "It's all growing unevenly. It's not tidy like Qui-Gee's beard. It's like sleeping with a straw birdscare!"

Obi-Wan's mouth dropped right open in protest at the ghastly opinion on his new look. He'd toyed with the idea of growing a beard - or attempting it - for a few months now but Jemmy's pregnancy had somehow speeded things along. He was going to be a father. He supposed he at least ought to look like someone who was old enough to be one. Qui-Gon's beard had always seemed to be an effortless creation with the minimal of upkeep and fuss. Why wasn't his the same? All he had got was an itchy face covered with patchy, course, ginger stubble

Even so, the words were hurtful.

"I'm sure given a little time" he began.

"Ben, it's awful. Time is not going to cure that. A razor will cure it." Jemmy pleaded with him.

"It's smart!" Obi-Wan growled.

"It's awful! Not unless you want to look like a hobo." countered Rela. "Sorry for being so blunt, but it is."

She turned to the other people in the lift who had been listening.

"Don't you think it's awful?" she asked them, sporting a grin the size of a Hutt on a sponsored eat.

Sadly, and much to Obi-Wan's dismay, they had all agreed with Rela. Now more than ever Obi-Wan wished he was back at the temple. He desperately wanted to find a mirror to see if he was quite as unattractive they all seemed to think. At least he knew now why Jemmiah had been acting so funny around him of late.

But what was he going to do about it?

************

His feet had finally given way and Obi-Wan begged the two girls to let him wait for them outside the last store in the plaza which Jemmiah, finally taking pity on him, had promised him faithfully would be the last of the day. The promise was enough to see him over to a bench in the square not far from a statue of a Corellian water nymph holding a rather wicked looking trident. There was something about the statue that Obi-Wan liked, possibly the expression. Somehow it always reminded him of Jemmiah. Perhaps it was the look in the eyes, the naughty gleam noticeable even in the marble.

Obi-Wan scratched thoughtfully at his beard. Now he wasn't sure if he liked it either. Casting his mind back he was fairly certain that Qui-Gon was avoiding making eye contact with him too. If his own master was avoiding him then that did not bode well for his beard. Still, he couldn't just go home and shave it right offthat would be admitting defeat. Rela and Jemmy would crow about it for months to come, possibly even years. No, he'd have to wait a day or so and make it look like he hadn't bowed to popular opinion.

Perhaps he should sleep on it?

It was obviously not attractive to Jemmy. That much was obvious from her behavior to him. No wonder she hadn't wanted to get close to him this past week! He'd thought that it must be something to do with the pregnancy but now he wasn't so sure

Okay. If three more people said they didn't like the beard he would shave it right off, no questions asked. No regrets.

Rubbing at his aching feet Obi-Wan leaned heavily against the arm of the bench, staring up at the statue and watching the spray dance in the air. He always found this spot so relaxing. It was the perfect place to rest and relax as he waited for the two troublemakers to finish their retail therapy.

Yawning, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and listened to the fountain as it lulled him to sleep.

***********

The next thing he was aware of was a rather abrupt prodding and pushing on his arm, and then as he opened his eyes two faces began to home into focus. The first was Rela, that smile back on her face again. The one that told him she had found something about him to laugh at but was enjoying his suffering too much to tell him what it was. Jemmiah stood beside her, that wild and gleaming look in her eyes just like the mischievous stare of the imperious mermaid towering above him, trident aloft.

"Wha-what?" Obi-Wan blinked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Poor Ben." Jemmy cooed and seated herself beside him. "You look rather exhausted!"

Confused, it took Obi-Wan just a few seconds to work out what they were saying. Ah, yes. The shoes. The shopping. The endless boredomit had all come flooding back to him now. That and the beard debate.

"We've changed our mind." Rela sat on the other side of him, so small that she hardly needed him to budge along on the bench to make room for her. "We want the beard to stay."

"You do?" Obi-Wan's brow furrowed ever so slightly.

"Yeah," Jemmiah grinned at him, "we think you are a potential money spinner for us, Ben Kenobi!"

Either his brain was too fogged or he didn't understand what she was driving at. How could someone who was so violently opposed to something a mere hour ago now do a total backtrack? And what did she mean by money-spinner?

"I don't know what you mean." He replied tersely. "Can we go home now? Have you enough shopping?" he asked her, looking at the three bulging bags by her feet.

"I think we can go." Rela's face lit up as if at some private joke. "We've even got our money for the air taxi thanks to you!"

"To me?" Obi-Wan yawned widely.

"Yeah," Jemmy put her arm around his shoulder. "Look down at your lap."

Obi-Wan gazed down. There collecting in the fabric of his tunic was a large collection of assorted credit pieces. At first he thought he was dreaming them, but then his fingers made contact with the metal and he held up a coin of a lowly denomination and examined it carefully. It was real enough, he thought carefully, but why? How?

"It would appear that you fell asleep on the bench." Jemmy choked, again turning her head away from him and not looking Obi-Wan in the eyes. "Passers by saw you stretched out like that in your long robe and thathedge beard of yours. I guess they must have thought you were some kind of vagrant! They've been throwing coins at you for the best part of an hour!"

Jemmiah could tell by the shock on Obi-Wan's face that she had won the battle of the beard for the time being. The second they got home to the temple the dreaded object would be shorn away as if it had never been. All she had to do now was dispose of the sign she and Rela had drawn up and placed on Obi-Wan's lap

Walking back towards the air taxi pickup zone, Jemmy dropped the flimsy into a trash receptacle. Now Obi-Wan would never know the truth.

Or ask for any spare change ever again.