Author's Note: A little late. I thought I would have this out Saturday morning.
But I added another prereader to my staff, which makes me very happy and very
tired. Anyways, thanks for being patient. Part 6 should be out as soon as the
prereaders get back to me.

Please Review when you read. It really helps me know that people actually want
to read it. And it sort of get my brain working on the details of the story,
especially since Christmas is coming and I tend to get lazy ^_^.

The Staff: Author- Yih
PreReaders- Kyo Tetsuei
Catch22
WorldMage (Edit Major)

DISCLAIMER: All rights exclusively Gainax, Inc.

Part 5: Ssh! Don't Wake Shinji!

Shinji fell asleep with a soft smile on his face. Dinner had gone exceedingly well.
He had never felt so connected to Asuka before. It had been fun playing footsie
under the table and giggling when Misato stared at them with a confused
expression on her face. He felt in love and happy. He was in heaven…

Asuka stared at her wall for a long hour before she fell sleep. I can't believe
Shinji loves me. He must be crazy. He will take back those words. Who can
love me? But I want him to-- Why baka Shinji? Why not Kaji? Because he has
Misato-san. I won't get too close to Shinji and I'll never return his feelings. I
can't. I can't love anybody.

[He felt awful.

But he didn't know why. He did know that before he fell asleep he had never felt
happier.

How could he remember that?

Misato was calling his name.

What does she want?

She was sobbing. Why was she sobbing?

He huddled in the corner of his closet. He put his SDAT on.

The music was hauntingly beautiful. It reminded him of Asuka. It was achingly
sad, reminiscent of Asuka. Asuka.

Where is Asuka?

He cried. He felt the immense sadness build up in him.

Misato cried out, "Shinji, where are you?"

He can't go out. He has to run away from this. He can't take this pain.]

"Shinji, wake up!" Asuka said urgently. She almost touched him when he sat
straight up with tears streaming down his face. He's hurting. Why is he hurting?

He breathed hard. He tasted his salty tears. I was crying. The dream was
horrible. Why was I so sad?

His wide red-rimmed eyes finally noticed Asuka. She kneeled down beside him
with her head bent down over him in concern. She was concerned, he thought
with delight, despite the awful dream he had just had. But I've scared her. The
look on her face was of fear. I want to reassure her. But I can't remember what I
dreamed. It was nothing. It was sadness, such incredible sorrow.

He breathed shakily as he tried to comfort Asuka, "It's okay, Asuka-chan." He
stroked her back. "I'm okay. It was nothing. Just a stupid dream."

Asuka wasn't aware of Misato's entrance as she shakily retorted, "It wasn't just a
stupid dream, baka! You were crying. You were curled up in a ball; you weren't
crying about nothing. But I've never seen such grief on anybody's face. You're
such a baka!"

She ran out of the room, bumping into Misato.

Misato had a strange expression on her face, an expression of disbelief as she
murmured, "I don't know why you're crying or dreaming weird dreams, Shinji, but
something is up. You two have never been this lovey dovey before; what
happened?"

Shinji stared at wall and finally responded, "I realized 'how I felt—' He
hesitated… finally saying, 'about Asuka.'"

"Oh, Shinji," Misato said sadly, "Asuka may not be able to reciprocate it."

Misato knew intuitively what he was going to say next. "If I don't tell her now, I
may never get a chance later."

His words spelled gloom, but it strangely comforted her. She smiled at him
comfortingly, "go cheer up Asuka. She needs it." She saw the dismayed look on
his face and teased, "No, I'm not making breakfast. Pen-pen's become quite
good at making waffles. I think he does five times a better job than I do."

Pen-pen stood from the hallway when he heard her statement and he thought
disdainfully, I do a hundred times better than her with my eyes closed. He said,
"Wuagh?" [translation: Another soap opera perhaps?]

Shinji climbed out of his bed and walked into Asuka's room. He found her staring
at the window with her ice blue eyes searching for something.

She turned around and her voice was deathly cold. "Go away, Ikari. Go away."

It chilled him to the bone, but he held his ground. "What's wrong, Asuka-chan?"

Her eyes blazed slightly before her voice imitated Shinji's. "What's wrong?
What's wrong!? Everything! Oh, look at me, I'm not stupid, scared Shinji,
anymore. Oh, look at me, I'm the Shinji in love? Do you really think I'd take you
seriously? Hahaha!" She paused for a second, then sneered, "How gullible you
must have thought I waa-- What was this, hentai? Some way to get me in the
sack!?"

Shinji backed up a step involuntary, She can't be serious. Is that what she thinks
of me? I can't take this. I don't have to take this. I won't take this.

He lifted his head and gave her one last look straight in the eyes. His eyes filled
with tears at her hurtful words before he ran out of the room. He passed Misato,
who was about to joke with him, but her words were caught up in her throat as
she saw his face.

Pen-pen rolled his eyes upward as he thought, Yep, another soap opera…

Asuka's shoulders started to shake as she fought the tears, he doesn't love me.
He just wanted to screw me. I hate him. I hate him. I knew he would run at the
first opportunity. That isn't the Shinji I can either like or respect. And I'm not
lovable.

Misato knocked on Asuka's door, and softly murmured, "Asuka, are you okay?"

"Go away, Misato!" Her voice was clear and unbroken, despite her body's
shivering.

Misato took a deep breath. "I understand, Asuka. You care for him. It's okay to
show your feelings. But what you said to him-- you really don't mean. He's
hurting right now." She paused, "This may be the last thing he's willing to take.
He really loves you, Asuka."

Asuka opened the door with a bang, she sneered, "I don't care for that baka! I
hate him! I HATE SHINJI!" She hiccuped as she held back her tears, "I--"

She shoved the door in Misato's face as Asuka collapsed to the floor, sobbing
quietly, Shinji… Shinji… I need you, baka.

Shinji covered his ears as he heard Asuka's conversation with Misato. She
means it, too, he mournfully thought. She hates me. And I love her. Why is life
like this? Why?

He screamed in his mind, haven't I done the right thing, God? Haven't I given my
life for the goodness of mankind? Or is this just your way of telling me that Evas
shouldn't annihilate those fucking angels! How could you do this to me… don't
you know I can't take anymore of this-- PAIN? You know everything… how can
you not know this? Maybe you do, he thought sadistically, but you like my
suffering. You LIKE it! You--

He was interrupted once more by Misato as she hugged him to her. "Asuka's
crying."

His words pierced her heart: "Why do you think I care?

She persisted as she gathered strength, "but you do-- care."

"Even if I did," he heaved a heavy sigh as he said, "Asuka doesn't."

"I think she does," she joked in a strained voice. "She just doesn't know it."

He stared at her, not believing one word.

"If," she allowed, "she doesn't care, still you are her Shinji. Not just my Shinji, not
just your mom's Shinji, not just Rei's Shinji, not just Eva-01's Shinji, your her
Shinji. She needs you. She's always needed you."

She broke off as she tried to control her voice. "Because you're the only one that
can understand her anguish. You've lost your mom to an Eva, as she has. Your
father doesn't care for you, and hers doesn't care for her."

"Do you understand me, Shinji? SHE NEEDS YOU."