Part II
Millennial Fair
A Chrono Trigger Parody by
Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
AD 1000
As we join our hero... well, he doesn't exist yet. The Super Nintendo is turned off.
....
.......
...........
....................
... *click!*
Let's see, start new name... Ah ha !That's better!
As we join our hero....well, he don't have a name yet... I could be clever and name him Poopy, but I'll stick with Crono...
Once again... *ahem*
*impressive announcer voice*
As we join our hero, Crono, he is fast asleep and is awakened by his bubble headed mother.
Mom - Wake up Crono! The game can't start without you!
Crono - But it's only noon!
Mom - Get up Crono!
Crono - Fine. Say, why did you name me Crono anyway? What were you and dad smoking?
Mom - The game is called Chrono Trigger... figure it out.
Crono - Give me my allowance.
*Crono gets 200 G!*
Crono - I don't want G! I want cash!
*Crono gets 20$*
Crono - I'm off to the fair to mess with some carnies! Later!
(At the fair)
Crono - I'll just stand here and mind my own business.
Girl - Watch out! I'm the only object on the screen that's moving!
*CRASH*
Crono -Gee wilickers, that was painful.
Girl - Ouch, my ass!
Crono - You can't say that!
Girl - This fic is rated PG-13. It's okay
Crono - In that case...DAMMIT! Shit that hurt!
Girl - My Pendant! I'm in big trouble!
Crono - Is this it?
Girl - Yeah! Your the best!
Crono - No prob.
Girl -I was wondering, this is my first time at a fair...
Crono - What is it?
Girl - It's a large gathering with balloons and games, but that's not important! I was wondering if I could join you!
Crono - Sure, why not? I'm pretty horny right now.
Girl - Great! I'm Nadia the Princess!
Crono - What?!
Girl - Uhh.. I mean... Natta....not a chance I'm the Princess!
Crono - I'm Crono.
Girl - I'm Marle! *giggle*
Crono - Wow! That giggling and your air headed nature will in no way getting annoying later in the game!
Marle - What's that over there?
Crono - That's Gato.
Gato - I'm Gato, I'm made of brass, f*ck with me, I'll kick your ass!
Marle - How cute! *giggle*
Crono - We'll come back when were at level 99 and beat it just by staring at it.
Marle - Wants in the opposite direction?
Crono - That leads to the prehistoric dance party.
Marle - Sounds like fun! We can go there and used rehashed animations and call it dancing.
Crono - Nah. The back of the box says we go to prehistoric times later anyway.
Marle - What box?
Crono - Uhh...hey look! Free food!
Marle - Your such a pig Crono!
Old Man - Hey! That's my food! Why you!!!! I'll be sure to testify against you in court if your charged with abducting the Princess after you saved her from the nothingness of time in the year 600 where they mistook her for the real Queen and there was a talking Frog and a fake Chancellor that was really a giant, yellow bug thing!
Crono - Right! Like THAT'S gonna happen!
Crono - Hey, there's my nerdy friend Thelma! She rides around in a fan and solves mysteries! Oh wait... it's just Lucca. She doesn't have a fan.
Lucca - Hey Crono! Come try my lethal invention! It brakes you into trillions of little pieces and transports you several feet away! No longer will the act of getting up and making a sandwedge be a hassle!
Crono - How do you have a transporting device in the year 1000?
Lucca - Well, how does your hair stay so spikey when hair gel isn't invented yet?
Marle -Hey! I hadn't said anything in awhile!
Lucca - (woah! What a nice butt!) Say Crono? Where did you meet a cuteie like her?
Crono - Back off woman! She's mine!
Marle - I wanna try the transporter! *gets on pod*
Lucca- All right then! *presses red button*
Crono - Surly that cant be it.
Lucca - Yeah, it's a short fic. And don't call me Surly.
Marle (shaking) - ohh...I-I feel ....f-funny...
Crono - Didn't worry, it's natural. We all give in sometimes. Just let it all go!
Marle - What's happening?!? *pop*
Lucca - She disappeared!
Crono - Her pendant is all that's left.
Lucca - Something must have triggered something in my machine.
Crono - Well, this doesn't take a genius to figure out.
Lucca - Yeah.
Crono - That's right. We need to pawn this pendant to Melchior for crack and whores.
Lucca - No... I mean the pendant caused her to vanish. You need to save her, Crono!
Crono - Your right! If her pendant was left behind, then she might be alone, frightened and naked somewhere and needs my protection!
Lucca - Your right! Besides, the game kind of lingers if we do nothing!
So Crono got on the pod, pendant in hand, and went on a journey to save Marle. What a swell guy. Will Crono be sent to the same place Marle landed? Will he be able to find her? Can they return if he does? Will I keep on talking in this impressive voice? Why is the sky blue? Paper or plastic? Do you know the muffin man? All these questions will be answered.....whenever I feel like it.
THE END
Reader - That's it?
Legendary Frog - Yeah, that's it.
Reader - Dude... that sucked!
LF - I guess it kindda did.
Reader - Dern right it did.
LF - I'll do better next time.
Reader - You better!
LF - All right.
Reader - I mean, come on!
LF - I get the point.
Reader - I could pull a better story out of my...!
LF - I'm getting angry.
Reader - Oooohhh...I'm so scared.
LF - You won't like it when I'm angry.
Reader - WhatCHA gonna do, bore me to death?
LF - RIBBIT! Wahhhhh!
Reader - Dude... that sucked too.
LF - Go away.
By Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
12/2/01
PS: Please check out "Proto Dome," also my me!
-end document-
Millennial Fair
A Chrono Trigger Parody by
Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
AD 1000
As we join our hero... well, he doesn't exist yet. The Super Nintendo is turned off.
....
.......
...........
....................
... *click!*
Let's see, start new name... Ah ha !That's better!
As we join our hero....well, he don't have a name yet... I could be clever and name him Poopy, but I'll stick with Crono...
Once again... *ahem*
*impressive announcer voice*
As we join our hero, Crono, he is fast asleep and is awakened by his bubble headed mother.
Mom - Wake up Crono! The game can't start without you!
Crono - But it's only noon!
Mom - Get up Crono!
Crono - Fine. Say, why did you name me Crono anyway? What were you and dad smoking?
Mom - The game is called Chrono Trigger... figure it out.
Crono - Give me my allowance.
*Crono gets 200 G!*
Crono - I don't want G! I want cash!
*Crono gets 20$*
Crono - I'm off to the fair to mess with some carnies! Later!
(At the fair)
Crono - I'll just stand here and mind my own business.
Girl - Watch out! I'm the only object on the screen that's moving!
*CRASH*
Crono -Gee wilickers, that was painful.
Girl - Ouch, my ass!
Crono - You can't say that!
Girl - This fic is rated PG-13. It's okay
Crono - In that case...DAMMIT! Shit that hurt!
Girl - My Pendant! I'm in big trouble!
Crono - Is this it?
Girl - Yeah! Your the best!
Crono - No prob.
Girl -I was wondering, this is my first time at a fair...
Crono - What is it?
Girl - It's a large gathering with balloons and games, but that's not important! I was wondering if I could join you!
Crono - Sure, why not? I'm pretty horny right now.
Girl - Great! I'm Nadia the Princess!
Crono - What?!
Girl - Uhh.. I mean... Natta....not a chance I'm the Princess!
Crono - I'm Crono.
Girl - I'm Marle! *giggle*
Crono - Wow! That giggling and your air headed nature will in no way getting annoying later in the game!
Marle - What's that over there?
Crono - That's Gato.
Gato - I'm Gato, I'm made of brass, f*ck with me, I'll kick your ass!
Marle - How cute! *giggle*
Crono - We'll come back when were at level 99 and beat it just by staring at it.
Marle - Wants in the opposite direction?
Crono - That leads to the prehistoric dance party.
Marle - Sounds like fun! We can go there and used rehashed animations and call it dancing.
Crono - Nah. The back of the box says we go to prehistoric times later anyway.
Marle - What box?
Crono - Uhh...hey look! Free food!
Marle - Your such a pig Crono!
Old Man - Hey! That's my food! Why you!!!! I'll be sure to testify against you in court if your charged with abducting the Princess after you saved her from the nothingness of time in the year 600 where they mistook her for the real Queen and there was a talking Frog and a fake Chancellor that was really a giant, yellow bug thing!
Crono - Right! Like THAT'S gonna happen!
Crono - Hey, there's my nerdy friend Thelma! She rides around in a fan and solves mysteries! Oh wait... it's just Lucca. She doesn't have a fan.
Lucca - Hey Crono! Come try my lethal invention! It brakes you into trillions of little pieces and transports you several feet away! No longer will the act of getting up and making a sandwedge be a hassle!
Crono - How do you have a transporting device in the year 1000?
Lucca - Well, how does your hair stay so spikey when hair gel isn't invented yet?
Marle -Hey! I hadn't said anything in awhile!
Lucca - (woah! What a nice butt!) Say Crono? Where did you meet a cuteie like her?
Crono - Back off woman! She's mine!
Marle - I wanna try the transporter! *gets on pod*
Lucca- All right then! *presses red button*
Crono - Surly that cant be it.
Lucca - Yeah, it's a short fic. And don't call me Surly.
Marle (shaking) - ohh...I-I feel ....f-funny...
Crono - Didn't worry, it's natural. We all give in sometimes. Just let it all go!
Marle - What's happening?!? *pop*
Lucca - She disappeared!
Crono - Her pendant is all that's left.
Lucca - Something must have triggered something in my machine.
Crono - Well, this doesn't take a genius to figure out.
Lucca - Yeah.
Crono - That's right. We need to pawn this pendant to Melchior for crack and whores.
Lucca - No... I mean the pendant caused her to vanish. You need to save her, Crono!
Crono - Your right! If her pendant was left behind, then she might be alone, frightened and naked somewhere and needs my protection!
Lucca - Your right! Besides, the game kind of lingers if we do nothing!
So Crono got on the pod, pendant in hand, and went on a journey to save Marle. What a swell guy. Will Crono be sent to the same place Marle landed? Will he be able to find her? Can they return if he does? Will I keep on talking in this impressive voice? Why is the sky blue? Paper or plastic? Do you know the muffin man? All these questions will be answered.....whenever I feel like it.
THE END
Reader - That's it?
Legendary Frog - Yeah, that's it.
Reader - Dude... that sucked!
LF - I guess it kindda did.
Reader - Dern right it did.
LF - I'll do better next time.
Reader - You better!
LF - All right.
Reader - I mean, come on!
LF - I get the point.
Reader - I could pull a better story out of my...!
LF - I'm getting angry.
Reader - Oooohhh...I'm so scared.
LF - You won't like it when I'm angry.
Reader - WhatCHA gonna do, bore me to death?
LF - RIBBIT! Wahhhhh!
Reader - Dude... that sucked too.
LF - Go away.
By Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
12/2/01
PS: Please check out "Proto Dome," also my me!
-end document-
