The Chrono Trigger Parodies
Part III
"Magus' Castle"
An official apology for "Millennial Fair" by
Joseph Blanchette
aka Legendary Frog
mortis765@yahoo.com
-----------------------
AD 600
Frog's Hovel
Crono and co just retrieved the two broken parts of the Masamune, retrieve the Hero's Metal, obtained some Dreamstone from the days of the dinosaur, and fixed the legendary blade. Come to think of it, that might make a better story, but I committed to this now. I'm depressed... I wanted to write about Ayla....
Anyway... *sniff*
Crono - Hey Frog. We got the Masamune. Now we want you to help us, thus opening up dozens of painful memories that will slowly drive you insane.
Frog - Doist thy know about mine past? I have let down mine kingdom before, thou shall not do it a second!
Crono - C'mon? We did all those mini quest to fix the damn thing, the least you can do is have a dream sequence!
Frog - Perhaps thou art correct. Let me sleep on it.
Lucca - But... we sleep at inns all the time and nothing changes.
Crono - Quiet! This is important to the plot. Besides, it's just for one night.
Lucca - But if we count all the times we sleep in this game, Lavos would have destroyed the world....TWICE!
Frog - Of this Lavos I know neigh, but thine memories will be just come mornings first bathing light after a night of reflection and revelation. *ribbit*
Crono - What?
Frog - Ask me again tomorrow.
Corno - Okay. Got it.
*Middle of the night.*
Frog - I cannot face mine past....
*Wyane's World flash back wiggle*
Cyrus - Glenn.
Glenn - Cyrus
Cyrus - *surprised* Magus!?!
Magus - Cyrus.
Glenn - *confused* Magus....!
Magus - Glenn...
Cyrus - *enraged* Magus!
Magus - Cyrus!
*fizzle*
Glenn - *crying* CYRUS!
Magus - Glenn!
Glenn - Ribbit.
*end flashback*
Frog - I must avenge my dear friend Cyrus! I shall come with you Sir Crono.
Crono - Huh?
Frog - To destroy the vile Magus!
Crono - Oh yeah. That. I forgot about him. Great! Let's go!
*At the Magic Wall*
Frog - Gazing at this wall of solid rock brings back memories ne'er forgoten.
Lucca - How can a wall of rock bring back memories?
Crono - That's pretty silly Frog.
Frog - Do you want to hear my story or not?!
Crono - Don't you mean "Dost thou want to here mine story or not?"
Frog - Oh yes. Silly me. *ribbit*
Lucca - This isn't another flashback, is it?
Frog - Aye.
Lucca - These always make me sick...
*Flashback wiggle*
Little Glenn - Everybody picks on me. I'm the only sprite with green hair.
Pre-Teen Cyrus - Your such a marshmallow. You need to stand up for yourself.
Little Glenn - But if I do that, then I won't have a troubled past. Then I wouldn't be a true RPG hero.
Pre-Teen Cyrus - Such as little, fluffy marshmallow....hmmmmm
*Flashback wiggle*
Teenage Cyrus - Glenn. I've decided to join the army and become a knight. See? I already have the armor and everything!
Hottie Glenn - You'll make a great knight! Your the best!
Teenage Cyrus - You should join as well. Your better with a sword than I.
Hottie Glenn - But I'll just fail again... like I did that time long ago... remember?
*flashback wiggle*
Cryus - Okay Glenn. It's the bottom ion the 9th, the bases are loaded, two outs, two strikes, and the score is tied. It's up to you my little marshmallow!
Glenn - I'll do my best!
Cyrus - Here's a good luck slap on the rear!
Glenn - *swing*
Umpire - Stike Three! Your out!
Glenn - No! I failed again!
Cyrus - Well....that's okay... maybe some nice noodle soap from the tavern will cheer you up.
Glenn - No! Remember what happened last time we ate there?
Cyrus - Oh yeah....I remember....
*flashback wiggle*
Glenn - There's a fly in my soup!
Cyrus - Gross! Let's never eat here again!
*end flashback*
Frog - As thou can see, me and Cyrus were the closest of friends.
Crono - A little TOO close if you ask me.
Lucca - Yeah. What's with that anyway?
Crono - And why did you start talking with an accent after that?
Frog - It be not important! Magus must pay! Handith over the Masamune!
Crono - Handiths not a word.
Frog - Just doith it!
*Crono places the Masamune in the soil. Frog grabs hold on the handle*
Frog - Mine name is Glenn, Cyrus' hopes, dreams, and occasional boy toy!
*Energy erupts from the ground as Frog leaps into the air and connects the blade with mountain, which neatly slices the rock face in two*
Lucca - I can name at least three things wrong with that picture.
Crono - Who cares! Frog's Theme owns!
Crono and Frog, and a third member of the party, which will be Robo because he kicks ass, continue on their quest to history Magus and avenge Cyrus... which in turn leads to countless Glenn/Cyrus yoai that I rather not discuss at the moment. After some pointless battles with some bats, they arrive at Magus' Castle....
Legendary Frog - Thats all!
Reader - What? But the name of the chapter is Magus' Castle and all I read was how Glenn and Cyrus need to have a serious talk.
LF - No it isn't... the title is "Frog's Past"
Reader - No it's not!
LF - Yes it is!
Reader - Is not!
LF - Is so!
Reader - Is not!
LF - Is so!
Sqaull Leonhart- Quiet you two.
LF - Squall? From Final Fantasy VIII?
Squall - Yeah.
LF - Nice to meet you!
Squall - Erm...
LF - You know... I liked the game and all, but that Junction crap was just plain tedious.
Squall - Whatever.
LF - Say, can you introduce me to Quistis? *shuffles feet* I think she's..you know... pretty and all.
Squall - Just finish the chapter before I bore you to death with my inner emotions.
LF - And then you'll set me up with Quisty?
Squall - Sure, whatever. Just do it.
LF - *smiles* Where was I... Oh yes.
Frog and co (I say Frog and co because when Frog's around, Crono isn't worth the hair gel he uses) stand in front of Magus' Castle....
Frog - There be Magus' Palace of Sin. Be careful.
Crono - Seems big. Why is this bat following us.
Frog - Bats doist that sort of thing.
Robo - I will distory Magus and all that stand in my path.
Frog- This be boring. Let us go inside. I bet the author hast a bunch of jokes about Flea.
*walks inside*
Robo - Were is the music?
Crono - It adds to at atmosphere.
Robo - The silence is triggering the "Terminate all life forms" protocol. *steps forward*
Frog - Magus has three generals. Vinegar, Soy Sauce, and Mayonnaise.
Crono - Huh?
*Robo raises fist*
Frog - I saidth : MAGUS HAS THREE GENERALS. VINEGAR, SOY....
Crono - Dude, those are the Japanese names.
*Targeting device covers Robo's eye*
Frog - Oh yes. The folk over there all F*ckithed up.
Crono - I think there called Ozzie, Slash and Flea.
*Laser points to middle of Crono's forehead.*
Frog - Like Ozzie Ozborne and Flea from the Red Hot Chilly Peppers.
Crono - And whoever Slash is.
Frog - Maybe the translator had a sick sense of humor.
Robo - Loading complete. Prepare to die.
Ozzie - Howdy!
Crono - Is it just me, or did it just get fatter in here.
Robo - You are interfering with my "Silence Genocide" protocol.
Ozzie - You'll never stop Magus from summoning Lavos!
Crono - You mean Magus summoned Lavos? I was just gonna go up there and ask him he wanted to convert to Jahova Witnesses!
Robo -Does this Magus wish to history humankind as well? We must combine our efforts for maximize effectiveness.
Crono - Say! That bat just transformed into a cute red headed girl!
Frog - Don't let her appearances fool you, Sir Crono. That is Flea the Mage!
Flea - Her? I'm a guy!
Robo - Impossible. After extensive probing of the subjects known as Lucca and Marle, I can logicly conclude that you are female.
Flea - Male, Female. What's the difference! Power is beauty and I've got the power!
Crono - I'm sorry... do you say something? I was too busy staring at your legs.
Slash -Well, if it isn't froggy lips!
Frog - Sir Slush, I presume?
Slash - Slush? Oh... you must have misread my name. I'm Slash.. The swordsman.
Frog - Oh... I am sorry then.
Slash - What do these low lives want, Flea? Are they selling vacuum cleaners?
Flea - No! They want to stop Master Magus from summoning Lavos!
Slash - So that's a no on the vacuum cleaners?
Flea - Say robot? Can you suck up stuff?
Robo - My sucking mechanism instantly vaporizes all organic matter that enters.
Crono - Can we go now?
Flea - Of course not! We're mini bosses, you need to fight us!
Slash - that a girl, Flea!
Flea - Hey, I'm a guy!
Slash - Come again?
Flea - I'm a man.
Slash - Your WHAT? No way... you have breasts.
Crono - And how!
Flea - It's true!
Slash- But the Christmas party...we snuck into the back room....Oh god! I thought something was wrong!
Robo - You are interfering with my attempts to contact Magus. Prepare yourself for termination.
insert violence here
Crono - So Flea is a guy after all! Or at least he was....
Frog - Good job, Golden Knight! Magus is neigh.
Crono - Magus is a horse?
Frog - Nay. He is neigh.
Crono - Yeah, so he's like a horse, right?
Frog - Nay!
Robo - I believe the freak of nature means "Magus is near."
Frog - Aye!
Crono - I what?
Frog - Aye to Neigh!
Crono - Your going to neigh? Someone get a bucket or something.
Frog - Enough of this silly banter. Let us continue.
*At Magus' Tower*
Frog - We are atop the tower.
Crono - That was fast.
Frog - Magus is amidst this circle of blue flames!
Magus - The Dark Winds howl.
Crono - Oops... sorry about that. I guess it was all that soup.
Frog - Silence Magus! I come here to avenge the death of my beloved Cyrus.
Magus - Oh yeah, him. So Glenn.... kiss any princesses lately? Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn't do that, would you?
Frog - Bite thy tounge! We fight!
Magus - *covers face with cape* If you fight with fire, your bound to get burned.
Crono - Don't worry. We gave wort face so water magic before we left.
Magus - Really?
Frog - Aye.
Magus - So I'll just use lightning magic to counteract the wetness of Frog!
Crono - Then let's battle! Nu I choose you!
*Nu appears from behind*
Nu - Nu!
Crono - Nu! Use your Fire 2 attack!
Lucca â€" Nu Nu Nu!
Magus - Then I'll counter your Fire 2 with Ice 2!
Frog - `Tis mine battle! Step aside!
*Frog throws Nu aside and begins to battle Magus*
Frog - *Ribbit* Your growing weak, old man.
Magus - If you strike me down then I shall become more powerful than you'll even imagine.
Frog - I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit.
Magus - You'll get it.
Frog - I better!
Magus - I rather kiss a Wookie!
Frog - That's no moon....
Magus - I have a bad feeling about this....
Frog - I love you.
Magus - I know.
Crono - ....Wait a minute... what just happened.
Robo - I think the author's mind is wondering.
Crono - Someone slap him for me.
Squall - SNAP OUT OF IT! *Slaps Legendary Frog*
Crono - Thank you.
Squall - Whatever.
Frog - *RIBBAH!*
*Frog knocks down Magus and pins him*
Magus - I give up! You win! Don't kill me!
Frog - You deserve to die!
Crono - Hold on. Let's see who Magus REALLY is!
*Crono pulls off Magus' mask*
All - *gasp*
Crono - Why it's Old Man Norstein Bekkler' from the fair! He was trying to summon Lavos to attract business to his guessing games!
Bekkler- And I would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Robo - I believe there is another mask.
*Rips of another mask*
All - *Gasp*
Crono - So it wasn't Bekkler! It was Tata! He must have wanted to summon Lavos to gain his fathers trust!
Frog- wait, Sir Crono. There still be a mask!
*pulls off mask*
All - *Gasp*
Crono - Why! It's Akuma! He wanted to summon Lavos so he would be in yet another game!
Robo - There is still another mask.
*pulls off mask*
All - *gasp*
Crono - It's that cook from the Food Network that says "Bam!" all the time!
Guy from the Food Network that says "Bam!" all the time - BAM!
Frog - Hold on... there still be more masks...
*Hours pass*
All - .........*.....gasp......*
Crono - Oh...it really was Magus after all.
Magus - You fools! You ruined everything. Lavos awakens!
Crono - You mean you didn't create Lavos! You lied to us!
Magus - Lavos comes!
Crono - That's one big Gate!
Nu â€" NU!!
So Crono and his friends, as well as Magus, are sucked up into the Gate that the improperly summoned Lavos create. They end up back in pre-historic times, but do to the powers of the Plot Device and Mr. Irony, Magus ends up back in his old home of Zeal. While there he pretends to be a traveling prophet and meets up with his younger self; Thus causing a paradox which in turn creates a spacial time rift that causes the destruction of the entire universe!!!!!!!!!
Or maybe it causes all the VCRs to blink 12:00... I forget which one.
Legendary Frog - The End. Now, where's Quistis?
Squall - She's in the back.
LF - Then go get her.
Squall - Keep you pants on.
LF - I am, that's why you need to hurry up!
Squall - Here she is.
Rinoa - Hi!
LF - HEY! That's Rinoa! I want Quistis!
Squall - But don't you find her carefree spirit fascinating?
LF - Yeah... up until Disc 2. So no Quistis?
Squall - I'm afraid not.
LF - What about Selphie?
Squall - Nope.
LF - Damn.
Rinoa- Let out your feelings, Joey. I am too serious about my mission! I can do it! I can't fight! I'm scared!
LF - Please end this now....
by Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
01/01/02
-end document-
Part III
"Magus' Castle"
An official apology for "Millennial Fair" by
Joseph Blanchette
aka Legendary Frog
mortis765@yahoo.com
-----------------------
AD 600
Frog's Hovel
Crono and co just retrieved the two broken parts of the Masamune, retrieve the Hero's Metal, obtained some Dreamstone from the days of the dinosaur, and fixed the legendary blade. Come to think of it, that might make a better story, but I committed to this now. I'm depressed... I wanted to write about Ayla....
Anyway... *sniff*
Crono - Hey Frog. We got the Masamune. Now we want you to help us, thus opening up dozens of painful memories that will slowly drive you insane.
Frog - Doist thy know about mine past? I have let down mine kingdom before, thou shall not do it a second!
Crono - C'mon? We did all those mini quest to fix the damn thing, the least you can do is have a dream sequence!
Frog - Perhaps thou art correct. Let me sleep on it.
Lucca - But... we sleep at inns all the time and nothing changes.
Crono - Quiet! This is important to the plot. Besides, it's just for one night.
Lucca - But if we count all the times we sleep in this game, Lavos would have destroyed the world....TWICE!
Frog - Of this Lavos I know neigh, but thine memories will be just come mornings first bathing light after a night of reflection and revelation. *ribbit*
Crono - What?
Frog - Ask me again tomorrow.
Corno - Okay. Got it.
*Middle of the night.*
Frog - I cannot face mine past....
*Wyane's World flash back wiggle*
Cyrus - Glenn.
Glenn - Cyrus
Cyrus - *surprised* Magus!?!
Magus - Cyrus.
Glenn - *confused* Magus....!
Magus - Glenn...
Cyrus - *enraged* Magus!
Magus - Cyrus!
*fizzle*
Glenn - *crying* CYRUS!
Magus - Glenn!
Glenn - Ribbit.
*end flashback*
Frog - I must avenge my dear friend Cyrus! I shall come with you Sir Crono.
Crono - Huh?
Frog - To destroy the vile Magus!
Crono - Oh yeah. That. I forgot about him. Great! Let's go!
*At the Magic Wall*
Frog - Gazing at this wall of solid rock brings back memories ne'er forgoten.
Lucca - How can a wall of rock bring back memories?
Crono - That's pretty silly Frog.
Frog - Do you want to hear my story or not?!
Crono - Don't you mean "Dost thou want to here mine story or not?"
Frog - Oh yes. Silly me. *ribbit*
Lucca - This isn't another flashback, is it?
Frog - Aye.
Lucca - These always make me sick...
*Flashback wiggle*
Little Glenn - Everybody picks on me. I'm the only sprite with green hair.
Pre-Teen Cyrus - Your such a marshmallow. You need to stand up for yourself.
Little Glenn - But if I do that, then I won't have a troubled past. Then I wouldn't be a true RPG hero.
Pre-Teen Cyrus - Such as little, fluffy marshmallow....hmmmmm
*Flashback wiggle*
Teenage Cyrus - Glenn. I've decided to join the army and become a knight. See? I already have the armor and everything!
Hottie Glenn - You'll make a great knight! Your the best!
Teenage Cyrus - You should join as well. Your better with a sword than I.
Hottie Glenn - But I'll just fail again... like I did that time long ago... remember?
*flashback wiggle*
Cryus - Okay Glenn. It's the bottom ion the 9th, the bases are loaded, two outs, two strikes, and the score is tied. It's up to you my little marshmallow!
Glenn - I'll do my best!
Cyrus - Here's a good luck slap on the rear!
Glenn - *swing*
Umpire - Stike Three! Your out!
Glenn - No! I failed again!
Cyrus - Well....that's okay... maybe some nice noodle soap from the tavern will cheer you up.
Glenn - No! Remember what happened last time we ate there?
Cyrus - Oh yeah....I remember....
*flashback wiggle*
Glenn - There's a fly in my soup!
Cyrus - Gross! Let's never eat here again!
*end flashback*
Frog - As thou can see, me and Cyrus were the closest of friends.
Crono - A little TOO close if you ask me.
Lucca - Yeah. What's with that anyway?
Crono - And why did you start talking with an accent after that?
Frog - It be not important! Magus must pay! Handith over the Masamune!
Crono - Handiths not a word.
Frog - Just doith it!
*Crono places the Masamune in the soil. Frog grabs hold on the handle*
Frog - Mine name is Glenn, Cyrus' hopes, dreams, and occasional boy toy!
*Energy erupts from the ground as Frog leaps into the air and connects the blade with mountain, which neatly slices the rock face in two*
Lucca - I can name at least three things wrong with that picture.
Crono - Who cares! Frog's Theme owns!
Crono and Frog, and a third member of the party, which will be Robo because he kicks ass, continue on their quest to history Magus and avenge Cyrus... which in turn leads to countless Glenn/Cyrus yoai that I rather not discuss at the moment. After some pointless battles with some bats, they arrive at Magus' Castle....
Legendary Frog - Thats all!
Reader - What? But the name of the chapter is Magus' Castle and all I read was how Glenn and Cyrus need to have a serious talk.
LF - No it isn't... the title is "Frog's Past"
Reader - No it's not!
LF - Yes it is!
Reader - Is not!
LF - Is so!
Reader - Is not!
LF - Is so!
Sqaull Leonhart- Quiet you two.
LF - Squall? From Final Fantasy VIII?
Squall - Yeah.
LF - Nice to meet you!
Squall - Erm...
LF - You know... I liked the game and all, but that Junction crap was just plain tedious.
Squall - Whatever.
LF - Say, can you introduce me to Quistis? *shuffles feet* I think she's..you know... pretty and all.
Squall - Just finish the chapter before I bore you to death with my inner emotions.
LF - And then you'll set me up with Quisty?
Squall - Sure, whatever. Just do it.
LF - *smiles* Where was I... Oh yes.
Frog and co (I say Frog and co because when Frog's around, Crono isn't worth the hair gel he uses) stand in front of Magus' Castle....
Frog - There be Magus' Palace of Sin. Be careful.
Crono - Seems big. Why is this bat following us.
Frog - Bats doist that sort of thing.
Robo - I will distory Magus and all that stand in my path.
Frog- This be boring. Let us go inside. I bet the author hast a bunch of jokes about Flea.
*walks inside*
Robo - Were is the music?
Crono - It adds to at atmosphere.
Robo - The silence is triggering the "Terminate all life forms" protocol. *steps forward*
Frog - Magus has three generals. Vinegar, Soy Sauce, and Mayonnaise.
Crono - Huh?
*Robo raises fist*
Frog - I saidth : MAGUS HAS THREE GENERALS. VINEGAR, SOY....
Crono - Dude, those are the Japanese names.
*Targeting device covers Robo's eye*
Frog - Oh yes. The folk over there all F*ckithed up.
Crono - I think there called Ozzie, Slash and Flea.
*Laser points to middle of Crono's forehead.*
Frog - Like Ozzie Ozborne and Flea from the Red Hot Chilly Peppers.
Crono - And whoever Slash is.
Frog - Maybe the translator had a sick sense of humor.
Robo - Loading complete. Prepare to die.
Ozzie - Howdy!
Crono - Is it just me, or did it just get fatter in here.
Robo - You are interfering with my "Silence Genocide" protocol.
Ozzie - You'll never stop Magus from summoning Lavos!
Crono - You mean Magus summoned Lavos? I was just gonna go up there and ask him he wanted to convert to Jahova Witnesses!
Robo -Does this Magus wish to history humankind as well? We must combine our efforts for maximize effectiveness.
Crono - Say! That bat just transformed into a cute red headed girl!
Frog - Don't let her appearances fool you, Sir Crono. That is Flea the Mage!
Flea - Her? I'm a guy!
Robo - Impossible. After extensive probing of the subjects known as Lucca and Marle, I can logicly conclude that you are female.
Flea - Male, Female. What's the difference! Power is beauty and I've got the power!
Crono - I'm sorry... do you say something? I was too busy staring at your legs.
Slash -Well, if it isn't froggy lips!
Frog - Sir Slush, I presume?
Slash - Slush? Oh... you must have misread my name. I'm Slash.. The swordsman.
Frog - Oh... I am sorry then.
Slash - What do these low lives want, Flea? Are they selling vacuum cleaners?
Flea - No! They want to stop Master Magus from summoning Lavos!
Slash - So that's a no on the vacuum cleaners?
Flea - Say robot? Can you suck up stuff?
Robo - My sucking mechanism instantly vaporizes all organic matter that enters.
Crono - Can we go now?
Flea - Of course not! We're mini bosses, you need to fight us!
Slash - that a girl, Flea!
Flea - Hey, I'm a guy!
Slash - Come again?
Flea - I'm a man.
Slash - Your WHAT? No way... you have breasts.
Crono - And how!
Flea - It's true!
Slash- But the Christmas party...we snuck into the back room....Oh god! I thought something was wrong!
Robo - You are interfering with my attempts to contact Magus. Prepare yourself for termination.
insert violence here
Crono - So Flea is a guy after all! Or at least he was....
Frog - Good job, Golden Knight! Magus is neigh.
Crono - Magus is a horse?
Frog - Nay. He is neigh.
Crono - Yeah, so he's like a horse, right?
Frog - Nay!
Robo - I believe the freak of nature means "Magus is near."
Frog - Aye!
Crono - I what?
Frog - Aye to Neigh!
Crono - Your going to neigh? Someone get a bucket or something.
Frog - Enough of this silly banter. Let us continue.
*At Magus' Tower*
Frog - We are atop the tower.
Crono - That was fast.
Frog - Magus is amidst this circle of blue flames!
Magus - The Dark Winds howl.
Crono - Oops... sorry about that. I guess it was all that soup.
Frog - Silence Magus! I come here to avenge the death of my beloved Cyrus.
Magus - Oh yeah, him. So Glenn.... kiss any princesses lately? Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn't do that, would you?
Frog - Bite thy tounge! We fight!
Magus - *covers face with cape* If you fight with fire, your bound to get burned.
Crono - Don't worry. We gave wort face so water magic before we left.
Magus - Really?
Frog - Aye.
Magus - So I'll just use lightning magic to counteract the wetness of Frog!
Crono - Then let's battle! Nu I choose you!
*Nu appears from behind*
Nu - Nu!
Crono - Nu! Use your Fire 2 attack!
Lucca â€" Nu Nu Nu!
Magus - Then I'll counter your Fire 2 with Ice 2!
Frog - `Tis mine battle! Step aside!
*Frog throws Nu aside and begins to battle Magus*
Frog - *Ribbit* Your growing weak, old man.
Magus - If you strike me down then I shall become more powerful than you'll even imagine.
Frog - I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit.
Magus - You'll get it.
Frog - I better!
Magus - I rather kiss a Wookie!
Frog - That's no moon....
Magus - I have a bad feeling about this....
Frog - I love you.
Magus - I know.
Crono - ....Wait a minute... what just happened.
Robo - I think the author's mind is wondering.
Crono - Someone slap him for me.
Squall - SNAP OUT OF IT! *Slaps Legendary Frog*
Crono - Thank you.
Squall - Whatever.
Frog - *RIBBAH!*
*Frog knocks down Magus and pins him*
Magus - I give up! You win! Don't kill me!
Frog - You deserve to die!
Crono - Hold on. Let's see who Magus REALLY is!
*Crono pulls off Magus' mask*
All - *gasp*
Crono - Why it's Old Man Norstein Bekkler' from the fair! He was trying to summon Lavos to attract business to his guessing games!
Bekkler- And I would have gotten away with it to, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Robo - I believe there is another mask.
*Rips of another mask*
All - *Gasp*
Crono - So it wasn't Bekkler! It was Tata! He must have wanted to summon Lavos to gain his fathers trust!
Frog- wait, Sir Crono. There still be a mask!
*pulls off mask*
All - *Gasp*
Crono - Why! It's Akuma! He wanted to summon Lavos so he would be in yet another game!
Robo - There is still another mask.
*pulls off mask*
All - *gasp*
Crono - It's that cook from the Food Network that says "Bam!" all the time!
Guy from the Food Network that says "Bam!" all the time - BAM!
Frog - Hold on... there still be more masks...
*Hours pass*
All - .........*.....gasp......*
Crono - Oh...it really was Magus after all.
Magus - You fools! You ruined everything. Lavos awakens!
Crono - You mean you didn't create Lavos! You lied to us!
Magus - Lavos comes!
Crono - That's one big Gate!
Nu â€" NU!!
So Crono and his friends, as well as Magus, are sucked up into the Gate that the improperly summoned Lavos create. They end up back in pre-historic times, but do to the powers of the Plot Device and Mr. Irony, Magus ends up back in his old home of Zeal. While there he pretends to be a traveling prophet and meets up with his younger self; Thus causing a paradox which in turn creates a spacial time rift that causes the destruction of the entire universe!!!!!!!!!
Or maybe it causes all the VCRs to blink 12:00... I forget which one.
Legendary Frog - The End. Now, where's Quistis?
Squall - She's in the back.
LF - Then go get her.
Squall - Keep you pants on.
LF - I am, that's why you need to hurry up!
Squall - Here she is.
Rinoa - Hi!
LF - HEY! That's Rinoa! I want Quistis!
Squall - But don't you find her carefree spirit fascinating?
LF - Yeah... up until Disc 2. So no Quistis?
Squall - I'm afraid not.
LF - What about Selphie?
Squall - Nope.
LF - Damn.
Rinoa- Let out your feelings, Joey. I am too serious about my mission! I can do it! I can't fight! I'm scared!
LF - Please end this now....
by Joseph Blanchette
aka "Legendary Frog"
01/01/02
-end document-
