ELEVEN
Thade lay there in his bed and was unable to sleep. He missed having her here beside him, so he could hold her and whisper to her. All he could think about was her. He should have never been honest with her, she had gotten too angry.
Thade remembered all the things they'd been through. He knew those moments would be with him in his sleep. And the most painful memory was the most vivid...
"Congradulations Thade!" his father cried. "I knew you could do it." Thade smiled and hugged his father. His sister, Fiona, stepped up to him.
"You can finally get rid of those humans," she said, happily. Thade's father smiled in agreement. Thade swallowed hard. He knew this was going to complicate things with Ari. He needed to talk to her tonight. Now that he was General, he knew what was going to happen.
Ari's house was silent but he knew that she was in her bedroom, probably reading or writing in her journal. He waited outside her door and knocked. She smiled when she saw him. Thade's breath caught in his throat. Ari looked so beautiful. She wore a yellow dress and robe and had her hair tied back with a red ribbon.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, leaning out of the door frame to kiss him.
"I needed to talk to you," he said, putting his hands on her hips and pulling her to him. She looked up into his eyes and he knew he never wanted to let her go.
"Congradulations General," she said to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Excited?"
Thade nodded slightly, then moved further in her bedroom. "Ari, I really need to discuss that."
"What do you mean?" asked Ari, looking confused. She sat down on her bed and patted the spot beside her.
"I mean that General is an important position, and to honor my family I might have to follow the ways of the other Generals."
Ari shook her head. "Thade, no! You promised!"
"I know Ari, but this may be a promise that I cannot keep." Thade turned away and tried to show no emotion to her heartbreaking sobs.
"This can't be happening," she cried. "It can't be over."
"I think it is," Thade choked. Tears formed in his own eyes. He turned back to Ari, but she was standing at the balcony. He stood behind her, and wiped her tears.
"Please don't cry," he begged, swallowing the lump in his throat. This caused more tears to flow from her eyes.
"Don't leave me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you too much to let you go."
Thade put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around, his face only inches away from hers. He kissed her gently all over her face. Her eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth and when he kissed her lips, she could taste the salt from her own tears.
"I love you too," he said, whispering into her hair. "But think about how different we will be from each other."
"We can work that out," Ari suggested. Thade shook his head.
"No we can't," he said, sadly. "You're too strongly involved in human rights." Ari moved away from him and laid down on her bed, tears running non stop. Thade didn't follow her eagerly as he would have days, even hours before. Instead he headed for the door.
"I'm sorry Ari," he said, before he walked away, and when Ari looked up he was gone.
Okay, Ari said to herself. Even if you haven't seen her for months, she's still your mother and you need some place to stay tonight. Ari had crept into her house and put Blythe in her cradle, but when she found Thade sleeping in their bedroom, she knew she couldn't confront him yet. She decided to go to her mother's house, which was going to be awful, but she needed to sleep somewhere.
Her mother Mikah, was surprised to find her youngest daughter standing on her front porch in the middle of the night, but invited her in.
"What did you say to Ari that got her so upset?" Attar asked Daleya. Daleya looked out on the river and moaned.
"I said terrible things," she admitted. "I told her she was stupid for letting Thade get her pregnant so soon and how she had feelings for that human man and other nasty things."
"You haven't known them as long as I have," Attar said. "Their relationship is extremely complex."
"How long have they been together?" Daleya asked, taking Attar's hand and leaning against him.
"He's been in love with her since we were teenagers. They stayed together for a long time, and when they broke up, they were like completely different people. They were almost inseperable. He used to sneak into her bedroom at night and take her horseback riding until the sun came up."
Daleya sighed at the romantic story he was telling her. She knew that they were the true definiton of love. Second chances, forgiveness, trust and passion were things that made love what it was, an obsession.
"Why did they end it?" Daleya demanded.
"He became General, and his beliefs were much different than hers. After his mother died, Thade believed he had to impress his father even more to make him happy and his father was disgusted by humans. They had become too different. Thade turned into a General hardened by war and Ari as a human rights activist. For awhile she despised him, and pushed him away. He never wanted to let her go, he just felt it was the right thing."
"Why did he hate humans so much?"
"It was in his blood. His father had been a General before him and it went through their bloodlines to Semos, who was also a leader."
"You believed in Semos didn't you?" Daleya said, but it seemed like more of an accusation.
Attar lowered his head and nodded. "I was really religious and spirtual."
Daleya put a hand on Attar's shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with believing in something."
Attar gave her a sad smile and shrugged. "But it was so wrong."
"You didn't know that," Daleya reassured him, and kissed him, ending the discussion.
"What are you doing here?' Mikah asked, leading Ari into her large, beautiful living room. A fire was going in the fireplace, so Ari knew that her mother was having trouble sleeping.
"I'm having a fight with Thade," Ari said, sitting down and watched her mother light one of her cigarettes. She offered her daughter one, but Ari pushed it away.
"You know I stopped doing that, Mother," Ari snapped. Mikah shrugged.
"Can't blame me for trying."
Mikah had left the family a many years before, leaving Sandar to raise most of the twelve children alone. Ari had resented her so much for that. She hadn't even kept in touch, not one visit and hadn't attended any of Ari's older siblings' weddings or her own and hadn't met any of her grandchildren. Mikah had lived a life of luxury, and when she was tired of Sandar she moved away. One morning she was just gone.
Mikah exhaled smoke, causing Ari to cough. "Ah, yes. So sorry I couldn't make the wedding. How's Thade doing? Quite a seesaw you two have had."
Ari narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you just keep having emotional ups and downs, that's all, Ari. Don't get so defensive!" Mikah rolled her eyes and Ari almost cried when she saw the striking resemblance between her and her mother and prayed she would never turn out like that.
"All twelve of you," she murmured under her breath. "Just like your father." Ari glared at her mother.
"I don't even know why I came to you," she said. "Weren't much of a mother." Ari immediately regretted saying that, since Mikah looked stung.
"Why are you fighting with Thade?" she asked, leaning back into her expensive chair.
"I don't know," Ari admitted. "I just freaked out at him."
Mikah sighed. "Well, it seems like your both unprepared for this marriage." Ari shook her head, furious.
"I am ready for this!" she cried. "I've been ready for this for years!"
"You certainly didn't wait," Mikah scoffed, gesturing to Ari's stomach, which was now small again, but Ari knew what she meant.
"It wasn't intended," Ari said, softly, ashamed.
"You should have been more careful. Your father and I had been doing that for years, and it was many before I got pregnant. We were married of course, though."
"I'm happy I have my daughter," Ari stated, proudly. "And Thade."
Mikah shook her head. "Aren't you afraid that he's going to hurt you again?"
"He wouldn't," Ari said, but her voice showed otherwise.
"Isn't that what he said the first time?" Mikah prodded. Ari swallowed and took a deep breath.
I will not cry, she told herself. Just relax.
"Yes, it's what he said the first time, but he promised with much more this time."
"You were so sad when he left," Mikah remembered. "I thought you'd never be the same."
"How would you know?" Ari demanded. "You were never there for me when I needed a you!" she accused. The tears that had threatened to spill now ran down Ari's cheeks.
"I knew how you felt," Mikah said. "Don't think I never loved your father." Ari wiped her tears and stood up.
"I have to leave. You made me realize about how important Thade is to me, and how I won't let him go. I will not be like you. Goodbye, Mother." Ari strode quickly from the house and into the darkness.
"We found you!" Daleya cried. Attar and Daleya were standing in front of Ari's house, nearly scaring her to death.
"What are you doing here?" Ari asked, trying to hide her tears.
"I felt bad about what I said. We just want to make sure everything is alright between you two again." Daleya rushed to Ari and hugged her.
"I'm sorry Ari," she said. "Maybe I was just jealous about you and Thade being so happy, and me having nothing."
Ari smiled up at Attar. "I think you might have something, Daleya." Attar smiled back, and opened the door to her house.
"You father wanted to help by taking Blythe for the night. You and Thade can be alone."
Ari nodded, and touched Attar's shoulder. "Thank you." All three looked up when they saw Thade standing at the top of the stairs.
"What's going on?" he asked, walking down the stairs and standing next to Ari. She tried to keep calm, but as soon as she saw him, she went straight into his arms.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck, burying her face into his fur. Thade held her tight.
"Me too," he said. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I love you."
"I love you too, Thade," Ari replied. "Let's never do this again."
Thade nodded in agreement, and they turned to see Daleya and Attar still standing in their front hall.
"We have something to say too,"Daleya said. She looked up at Attar, and he nodded happily.
"We're having a baby," Attar declared.
Sometimes I hate her, Thade admitted to himself. I mean I don't really hate her, but I hate how I'm so weak and helpless without her. Sometimes I hate the things she does, he said, but not really. I just hate how I feel when she sits on my lap and whispers in my ear, or when she surprises me with dinner and has candles lit everywhere in our dining room, and she just sits there and looks so beautiful in the light. When she does things like that, I feel like I'd die without her, and I don't like feeling like that, because I should be strong without her, but I can't.
Sometimes I hate him, Ari admitted to herself. I don't really hate him, I just hate the way he makes me feel and the things he does. I hate it when he surprises me with hundreds of bouquets of flowers covering our bedroom or when he makes a fire in the living room and we sit in its warmth for hours, while he whispers how much I mean to him, and how beautiful I am. I don't hate those things either. I just hate how they make me feel. I feel like if I'm ever without him, I stop breathing. I should be able to breathe without him, but I can't. It amazes me how much I could care for him now, when I couldn't many months before. Then I remember how he did so much to get me to forgive him, and that is after all, his love for me and the power of forgiveness.
This story is finished, but look for the sequel about Blythe and Attar and Daleya's son. It's written by me and co-written by Humming Water. Don't have a title for it yet, but it will hopefully be posted soon.
Thanks for reading,
Sweetstuff.
(and thanks to Humming Water for all her great ideas!)
Thade lay there in his bed and was unable to sleep. He missed having her here beside him, so he could hold her and whisper to her. All he could think about was her. He should have never been honest with her, she had gotten too angry.
Thade remembered all the things they'd been through. He knew those moments would be with him in his sleep. And the most painful memory was the most vivid...
"Congradulations Thade!" his father cried. "I knew you could do it." Thade smiled and hugged his father. His sister, Fiona, stepped up to him.
"You can finally get rid of those humans," she said, happily. Thade's father smiled in agreement. Thade swallowed hard. He knew this was going to complicate things with Ari. He needed to talk to her tonight. Now that he was General, he knew what was going to happen.
Ari's house was silent but he knew that she was in her bedroom, probably reading or writing in her journal. He waited outside her door and knocked. She smiled when she saw him. Thade's breath caught in his throat. Ari looked so beautiful. She wore a yellow dress and robe and had her hair tied back with a red ribbon.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, leaning out of the door frame to kiss him.
"I needed to talk to you," he said, putting his hands on her hips and pulling her to him. She looked up into his eyes and he knew he never wanted to let her go.
"Congradulations General," she said to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Excited?"
Thade nodded slightly, then moved further in her bedroom. "Ari, I really need to discuss that."
"What do you mean?" asked Ari, looking confused. She sat down on her bed and patted the spot beside her.
"I mean that General is an important position, and to honor my family I might have to follow the ways of the other Generals."
Ari shook her head. "Thade, no! You promised!"
"I know Ari, but this may be a promise that I cannot keep." Thade turned away and tried to show no emotion to her heartbreaking sobs.
"This can't be happening," she cried. "It can't be over."
"I think it is," Thade choked. Tears formed in his own eyes. He turned back to Ari, but she was standing at the balcony. He stood behind her, and wiped her tears.
"Please don't cry," he begged, swallowing the lump in his throat. This caused more tears to flow from her eyes.
"Don't leave me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I love you too much to let you go."
Thade put his hands on her shoulders and spun her around, his face only inches away from hers. He kissed her gently all over her face. Her eyes, nose, cheeks, mouth and when he kissed her lips, she could taste the salt from her own tears.
"I love you too," he said, whispering into her hair. "But think about how different we will be from each other."
"We can work that out," Ari suggested. Thade shook his head.
"No we can't," he said, sadly. "You're too strongly involved in human rights." Ari moved away from him and laid down on her bed, tears running non stop. Thade didn't follow her eagerly as he would have days, even hours before. Instead he headed for the door.
"I'm sorry Ari," he said, before he walked away, and when Ari looked up he was gone.
Okay, Ari said to herself. Even if you haven't seen her for months, she's still your mother and you need some place to stay tonight. Ari had crept into her house and put Blythe in her cradle, but when she found Thade sleeping in their bedroom, she knew she couldn't confront him yet. She decided to go to her mother's house, which was going to be awful, but she needed to sleep somewhere.
Her mother Mikah, was surprised to find her youngest daughter standing on her front porch in the middle of the night, but invited her in.
"What did you say to Ari that got her so upset?" Attar asked Daleya. Daleya looked out on the river and moaned.
"I said terrible things," she admitted. "I told her she was stupid for letting Thade get her pregnant so soon and how she had feelings for that human man and other nasty things."
"You haven't known them as long as I have," Attar said. "Their relationship is extremely complex."
"How long have they been together?" Daleya asked, taking Attar's hand and leaning against him.
"He's been in love with her since we were teenagers. They stayed together for a long time, and when they broke up, they were like completely different people. They were almost inseperable. He used to sneak into her bedroom at night and take her horseback riding until the sun came up."
Daleya sighed at the romantic story he was telling her. She knew that they were the true definiton of love. Second chances, forgiveness, trust and passion were things that made love what it was, an obsession.
"Why did they end it?" Daleya demanded.
"He became General, and his beliefs were much different than hers. After his mother died, Thade believed he had to impress his father even more to make him happy and his father was disgusted by humans. They had become too different. Thade turned into a General hardened by war and Ari as a human rights activist. For awhile she despised him, and pushed him away. He never wanted to let her go, he just felt it was the right thing."
"Why did he hate humans so much?"
"It was in his blood. His father had been a General before him and it went through their bloodlines to Semos, who was also a leader."
"You believed in Semos didn't you?" Daleya said, but it seemed like more of an accusation.
Attar lowered his head and nodded. "I was really religious and spirtual."
Daleya put a hand on Attar's shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with believing in something."
Attar gave her a sad smile and shrugged. "But it was so wrong."
"You didn't know that," Daleya reassured him, and kissed him, ending the discussion.
"What are you doing here?' Mikah asked, leading Ari into her large, beautiful living room. A fire was going in the fireplace, so Ari knew that her mother was having trouble sleeping.
"I'm having a fight with Thade," Ari said, sitting down and watched her mother light one of her cigarettes. She offered her daughter one, but Ari pushed it away.
"You know I stopped doing that, Mother," Ari snapped. Mikah shrugged.
"Can't blame me for trying."
Mikah had left the family a many years before, leaving Sandar to raise most of the twelve children alone. Ari had resented her so much for that. She hadn't even kept in touch, not one visit and hadn't attended any of Ari's older siblings' weddings or her own and hadn't met any of her grandchildren. Mikah had lived a life of luxury, and when she was tired of Sandar she moved away. One morning she was just gone.
Mikah exhaled smoke, causing Ari to cough. "Ah, yes. So sorry I couldn't make the wedding. How's Thade doing? Quite a seesaw you two have had."
Ari narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you just keep having emotional ups and downs, that's all, Ari. Don't get so defensive!" Mikah rolled her eyes and Ari almost cried when she saw the striking resemblance between her and her mother and prayed she would never turn out like that.
"All twelve of you," she murmured under her breath. "Just like your father." Ari glared at her mother.
"I don't even know why I came to you," she said. "Weren't much of a mother." Ari immediately regretted saying that, since Mikah looked stung.
"Why are you fighting with Thade?" she asked, leaning back into her expensive chair.
"I don't know," Ari admitted. "I just freaked out at him."
Mikah sighed. "Well, it seems like your both unprepared for this marriage." Ari shook her head, furious.
"I am ready for this!" she cried. "I've been ready for this for years!"
"You certainly didn't wait," Mikah scoffed, gesturing to Ari's stomach, which was now small again, but Ari knew what she meant.
"It wasn't intended," Ari said, softly, ashamed.
"You should have been more careful. Your father and I had been doing that for years, and it was many before I got pregnant. We were married of course, though."
"I'm happy I have my daughter," Ari stated, proudly. "And Thade."
Mikah shook her head. "Aren't you afraid that he's going to hurt you again?"
"He wouldn't," Ari said, but her voice showed otherwise.
"Isn't that what he said the first time?" Mikah prodded. Ari swallowed and took a deep breath.
I will not cry, she told herself. Just relax.
"Yes, it's what he said the first time, but he promised with much more this time."
"You were so sad when he left," Mikah remembered. "I thought you'd never be the same."
"How would you know?" Ari demanded. "You were never there for me when I needed a you!" she accused. The tears that had threatened to spill now ran down Ari's cheeks.
"I knew how you felt," Mikah said. "Don't think I never loved your father." Ari wiped her tears and stood up.
"I have to leave. You made me realize about how important Thade is to me, and how I won't let him go. I will not be like you. Goodbye, Mother." Ari strode quickly from the house and into the darkness.
"We found you!" Daleya cried. Attar and Daleya were standing in front of Ari's house, nearly scaring her to death.
"What are you doing here?" Ari asked, trying to hide her tears.
"I felt bad about what I said. We just want to make sure everything is alright between you two again." Daleya rushed to Ari and hugged her.
"I'm sorry Ari," she said. "Maybe I was just jealous about you and Thade being so happy, and me having nothing."
Ari smiled up at Attar. "I think you might have something, Daleya." Attar smiled back, and opened the door to her house.
"You father wanted to help by taking Blythe for the night. You and Thade can be alone."
Ari nodded, and touched Attar's shoulder. "Thank you." All three looked up when they saw Thade standing at the top of the stairs.
"What's going on?" he asked, walking down the stairs and standing next to Ari. She tried to keep calm, but as soon as she saw him, she went straight into his arms.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into his neck, burying her face into his fur. Thade held her tight.
"Me too," he said. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I love you."
"I love you too, Thade," Ari replied. "Let's never do this again."
Thade nodded in agreement, and they turned to see Daleya and Attar still standing in their front hall.
"We have something to say too,"Daleya said. She looked up at Attar, and he nodded happily.
"We're having a baby," Attar declared.
Sometimes I hate her, Thade admitted to himself. I mean I don't really hate her, but I hate how I'm so weak and helpless without her. Sometimes I hate the things she does, he said, but not really. I just hate how I feel when she sits on my lap and whispers in my ear, or when she surprises me with dinner and has candles lit everywhere in our dining room, and she just sits there and looks so beautiful in the light. When she does things like that, I feel like I'd die without her, and I don't like feeling like that, because I should be strong without her, but I can't.
Sometimes I hate him, Ari admitted to herself. I don't really hate him, I just hate the way he makes me feel and the things he does. I hate it when he surprises me with hundreds of bouquets of flowers covering our bedroom or when he makes a fire in the living room and we sit in its warmth for hours, while he whispers how much I mean to him, and how beautiful I am. I don't hate those things either. I just hate how they make me feel. I feel like if I'm ever without him, I stop breathing. I should be able to breathe without him, but I can't. It amazes me how much I could care for him now, when I couldn't many months before. Then I remember how he did so much to get me to forgive him, and that is after all, his love for me and the power of forgiveness.
This story is finished, but look for the sequel about Blythe and Attar and Daleya's son. It's written by me and co-written by Humming Water. Don't have a title for it yet, but it will hopefully be posted soon.
Thanks for reading,
Sweetstuff.
(and thanks to Humming Water for all her great ideas!)
