Lange continued to splash around madly as she also tried to cling to Imp.  Needless to say, that wasn't the best of actions.  "Help!  I'm panicking!" she yelled in fear.  "Make me stop panicking!"

            Imp tried to tell her to get off, but her only response was frantic gurgling.

            In their blind panic and subsequent near drowning, neither one noticed the small reed that swam closer and closer to them.  If the necessary equipment was to be had, then the infamous Jaws music would have been playing. 

            Imp struggled to throw Lange off long enough to breath, but it became harder and harder to struggled with the half crazed girl.  Imp felt her life start to tragically slip from her body, when she let her feet sink.

            They hit solid ground.

            Imp leapt up, and wheezed desperately for air.  Lange continued to thrash around violently as Imp tried to both get the water out of her lungs and put air in at the same time.

            "Lange!" she finally managed to choke out.  "Put your damn feet down!"

            Lange obliged the request, to discover that when she stood, the water came up to her shoulders.

            Imp glared at her.  "And to think that in truth it was as shallow as the ONE AT HOME!" she screamed.  "To think, that nearly everything ELSE here has been exactly the same…"

            But her rant was silenced when two hands clamped down on Imp and Lange.  They froze in their tracks, and looked down at the hands.

            "They look just like Erik's," Imp whispered.

            "But strangely more…feminine." Lange whispered back.

            Imp's lower lip began to quiver.  "Please—kind person with Erik's hands—please say that you are Erik…"

            Lange and Imp slowly turned around, and looked up into the masked face of the FE.

       "That's not Erik!!" Imp screamed in horror.

            Lange started to panic.  "I'm panicking, I'm panicking, GOD HELP ME I'M PANICKING!!!!!!!!!"
            (It was at this point that Singe wondered to herself as to just why she wasn't talking to try to distract the FE so then Lange and Imp could escape.  In the end of this short musing, she decided not to. The authors wouldn't DARE kill Imp and Lange.  They were lead characters!)
            Just when Lange and Imp thought for sure that their necks were forfeited to the Punjab Lasso, Christian's utterly annoying giggle suddenly rang out across the lake.  "Does the monkey want a cracker? Does the nice monkey want a cracker?"

             Distressed monkey noises followed.

            The FE let go of them and turned around in fury.  "Damnit Christian! Leave that poor monkey alone!"

"Run!" Imp hissed as she tried to quickly wade her way back to the lake shore.

"Oh, of all the plot convienences!" Lange snapped as she followed Imp.
Christian's voice rang out again.  "Voice! The monkey...he just pondered to himself!"

The FE's eyes burned as her patience ran out.  "It's a girl monkey!  Get it right you dimwitted boy!"
            Lange and Imp reached the edge of the water and pulled themselves out of the lake.  Lange collapsed the instinct she got it out of the water.  "Imp," she pitifully whined.  "I don't think...I'm…gonna make it..."
            Imp grabbed Lange and pulled her up while the FE continued ranting to Christian about the importance of getting a creatures gender right.  "For christsake Lange!"  Imp said as she slapped Lange across the face.  "Pull yourself together!  You call yourself a Worthier Woman?"  Imp pulled Lange forward.  "Come on," she ordered with urgency.  "We'll have to get into the lair the long way."

Lange gasped.  "You mean…through the torture chamber?"

('Kinky,' Singe thought as she peered through the glass of the actual thing.)
            All three wondered simultaneously what the FE's torture chamber was like.

Lange pondered out loud as she and Imp hopped up the stairs, two at a time.  "It's probably just like Erik's, only more vicious.  Remember?  'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'."
            Imp eeped at the thought that they were willing going to try to enter it, and started to wonder if it was such a good idea.  Singe was a big monkey girl—she could take care of herself…

Meanwhile, the FE was wrapping up her rant.  "So LEARN, you stupid little boy!"  Looking around, she snarled when she saw that she was standing in the water alone.  "Curses!  They've escaped!"
            The FE swam back to other side of the lake with any effort, and leapt into the boat.  "Christian."  She said, as she looked at him.  "I'm going to make sure there's no one still hanging around—stay HERE!" she ordered.
             Christian clapped his hands in a childlike rapture.  "Yeah, the monkey and me get to have some playtime!"  As he giggled evilly, repressed memories of a circus and a chain came back to haunt Singe.  She back up into the corner, shaking her head in mute horror.  
            Imp and Lange heard this, and gasping in horror, stopped in their tracks.  "Shit!" Imp whimpered.

            "Poor Singe!"  Lange cried.  "What a horrid way to die!"
            In a final act of desperation, Singe finally opened her mouth, and yelled at the top of her lungs, "OVER HERE, UGLY!"
            This echoed through the chamber, and Lange and Imp stared at each other.  "Singe has lost her mind.  She's completely cracked."

            The FE whirled around, and fixed Christian with such a glare that Singe shrank against the wall more.  Her cloak glided around her, revealing rich and elegant black evening dress underneath.  Just as quickly, the cloak swallowed her body up again.  "Who said that?" the FE said, her beautiful voice clipped, and dangerous.

             Christian looked around wildly, and pointed at Singe.  "I think it was the monkey," he replied.
            The FE continued to glare at Christian, as if she was just beginning to doubt her choice of men.  "My dear," the FE calmly asked, "monkeys talk?"
              "Daaaaaaaauuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…maybe?  Can I play with my monkey now?" he asked, trying to change the topic.
            The FE looked at the cowering Singe, and pitied her.  "The monkey comes with me."
 The FE picked up singe, and carefully placed her on her shoulder.  With Singe now on her shoulder, the FE turned around and looked at Christian.  "Christian! Get inside the house!"

             Christian grumbled as he dragged himself into the house. It's not fair!"

            And whilst this was all going on, Lange and Imp had continued to run up the stairs to the third cellar.  Well…by now, they were dragging themselves up the stairs, exhausted.  "I'm sorry, but as much as I love Erik, this female Erik must be just like him.  They both have such poor taste in potential mates," Lange panted.

            "I think…it's because…they're so…desperate at this…point," Imp wheezed as she lagged behind.  "But…no matter…we have to save…her from…Christian!"
            "Yea!  We have to save both Singe AND the Female Erik from Christian!"  Lange looked around the third cellar (for by then they had reached it).  "So…we have to go through the torture chamber, huh?"

"Is there a…daroga…counterpart here…to…help us?"

            Lange tried to snort, but was too out of breathe.  "That would be a plot convenience!" was her reply.

 
Back in the lair, Christian sat by the fire place, alone and brooding.  "I wanna play with the monkey!" he whined.  "Not fair!  Stupid voice...oh! I know what I'll do!"  And with that, Christian began to snicker evilly…well, as evilly as one so stupid could snicker.

~OH NO!  what sort of perverse plan is Christian plotting!?!  Find out next time, when Imp somehow finds the time to revise the 13 remaining pages of Instant Message convo, the like's of which don't even come close to the end of this phic!