Chapter 5

"Giles." Spike nodded for her to go on. "I'm not coming home."
"What Buffy?"
"I'm staying in LA."
"I don't understand."
"I'm going to sing."
"Excuse me? Are you feeling alright?"
"Better than I have in awhile. Spike and I are going to sing. Like a duo. We're going to sing. And I'm done with slaying." Buffy hung up the phone. "There."
"I know it was hard. But it's the only way to do it."
"I know." Buffy nodded. "And I'll return as soon as we've make some money."
"We should sit down and write some stuff. Together."
"Sure." They made their way back through the restaurant and sat down in a booth. Spike pulled some crumpled pieces of paper from his pocket and a chewed up pencil. Buffy wrinkled her nose and he rolled his eyes.
"What should this song be about?" Spike asked absently licking the tip of the pencil.
"Why we're good." Buffy said gazing away. "Why we do what's right. Because none of it seems to make a difference."
"It does too. Why would I waste my evil time being good if it didn't make a difference?"
"To be with me."
"Ok. True. But why do you do it?"
"That's just it. It's just what I've always been told to do." Buffy frowned and her hand darted out. She snatched the pencil from Spike's hand and chucked it across the room. "This is no good. Both our songs were about that anyway. Love is a good song theme right?" Spike nodded.
"More or less."
"Didn't you sing me a song of love? God, why can't I remember the songs we sang."
"You know, you got a willing slave, and you just love to play the part that you might miss behave." Spike sang quickly, under his breath. "But till you do I'm telling you stop visiting my grave."
"This isn't real, but I just want to feel…" Buffy joined in, remembering the words.
"Give me the pencil. Wait. Oops." She waved over a waiter. "Hey, can I get a cup of orange juice and a pen?"
"Make mine a coffee would ya mate?" The guy nodded, a bit confused and shuffled off. "Your muse visiting you luv?"
"You could say that." The waiter came back and Buffy ignored her juice as she picked up the pen. Spike watched her, the way her hand held the pen, the way the tip of her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth, as she concentrated. She was so serious. The way she was in battle. Finally she put down the pen and picked up her juice thirstily.
"Can I read it?"
"It's no good." Buffy shrugged and wiped the orange juice mustache from her lip.
\\My body is a pendulum
Swaying with the tides
I go where I am needed
A warrior ravaged by time

My feet have yet to touch the sand
Upon a distant shore
I have yet to know sleep
Like a dreamer peaceful in the night

Chorus: I've felt alive before
I want to feel it again
But I don't know where to find
My own sane piece of mind

My heart lies, buried in the ground
Locked in heaven, I've been thrust out
To walk the earth and hell
Not allowed to even shout
"When do I get my share?

I've felt alive before
I want to feel it again
But I don't know where to find
My own sane piece of mind//
"It's crap." Buffy snatched the piece of paper and away from Spike.
"It's not crap. I'm impressed. You wrote all of that in a couple minutes. I bet you were too busy slaying before to recognize you have a talent for writing. Buffy blushed, but he could see she was beaming. A true smile as he hadn't seen in the three months she had been back.
"Let's celebrate tonight. Let's go clubbing. I mean I've barely been to the Bronze lately. LA has some great clubs. I used to sneak in when I went to Hemery." she stopped when she saw the look on his face. "I'm not a bad girl."
"No. You're good. And righteous. And you do everything they tell you to do."
"Exactly- I mean no. Shut up Spike." Buffy pulled out a couple bills to pay for the juice but Spike pushed her hand away.
"Let me." She was too shocked to even argue. "After you?" He gestured to the door and Buffy shook her head.