Hey, iluvmarauders (read her songfic its really sad!!!) gave me another challenge! Yay!

The rules:

Must have Snape going around saying 'schnoogles'

Harry's addicted to Tetris

A fluffy porcupine with no spiky stuff chokes on a lolly

Percy gets caffeine-hi

Dumbledore's addicted to Hawaiian dance

Dudley gets thin. (THE HORROR)

Ron has a strange illness that cannot be cured but it's making Hermione go crazy

The Whomping Willow is chopped down

Voldie adopts Draco Malfoy

And Blueprint Queen of the Forest saves the day

________________________________________________________________________

(A/N: This is going to be pretty long. Coffee mugs at hand? Here we go …)

The Circle of Insanity

            "Hullo, Hermione!" Ron cheerily greeted her at breakfast. "Did you have a-" Ron stopped talking. He suddenly went into a trance-like state and then started singing, "You keep me drowning in your love, And every time I breathe I take you in, my heart beats again … Baby I …"

Ron started singing that Backstreet Boys song. Draco Malfoy, who was passing them, suddenly found himself doing a little jig. Harry, who was seating himself beside Hermione, also started pulling some dance moves.

"…can't help it, you keep me drowning in your love…" with that, Ron snapped out of his trance and continued talking to Hermione like nothing happened. "… good night's sleep?"

Hermione was speechless. She stared around her. Harry and Draco just realized what they had been doing and they looked disgusted with themselves. Draco walked over to the Slytherin table and Harry went back to sit beside Hermione, who looked at Harry and Ron in horror. They both stared back at her.

"What?" Ron asked while taking a seat.

"Harry, d-did you see what you and Draco were … were doing?" she stammered in shock.

"I don't know," Harry answered. "I just suddenly felt this uncontrollable urge to start dancing. Maybe … it's the weather … you can't be too sure with these winters…"

"It happened again, didn't it?" Ron asked Hermione with dismay.

"What happened?" Hermione questioned with horror.

            Ron sighed. "I go into a trance … start singing songs? What song did I sing today?"

            "A muggle love song," she said.

            "A muggle love song?!" Ron said shocked. "Oh, no … it's getting worse …" He got up from the table. "I'll see you two at lunch."

            Ron rushed out of the Great Hall. He had to find the only person who could help him. He walked a few corridors, searching in vain for that one person. Then at last, he saw Dumbledore.

            "Professor Dumbledore!" Ron called out while running towards him. Dumbledore didn't turn. He didn't seem to hear Ron. He entered a classroom. "Professor!!!" Ron ran faster and entered the classroom too. There he saw boxes and boxes of that Hawaiian dress-thingy, stacked high. Dumbledore was at one corner of the room wearing a hula dress and … … … dancing the hula … … … while humming. This didn't occur to Ron as odd. He walked up to the Professor.

            "What is it you want, Ron?" Dumbledore asked, still dancing.

            "Oh, nothing, Professor, I just wanted to know whether you know where I can find Professor Snape."

            "Sure," Dumbledore answered. "Have you tried his dungeon?"

            "Oh, yeah, I haven't actually. I'll go right away. Thanks!" As Ron was leaving, he stopped and said to Dumbledore, "I'll let you get back to your favourite pastime!"

            Ron ran to Snape's dungeon where he found the professor. Snape was concentrating on a potion and didn't hear Ron come in.

            "Professor Snape!" Ron called out. Snape squealed in fright. He turned around to find Ron.

            "Schnoogles?!" he asked Ron furiously. "Er, I mean … …, what is it, Ron?"

            "Professor, you have to give me a stronger potion! It's getting worse!"

            "How bad is it?"

            "I've …" Ron swallowed. "I've started singing Muggle … love songs!!"

            Snape gasped, "Schnoogles!" Regaining his composure, he said to Ron, "Very well, then. I will do as much research as I can to find a stronger potion. You just keep taking the one I gave you, Ron."

            Ron left Snape who was muttering 'Schnoogles' under his breath, feeling somewhat reassured. After lunch, he was walking with Hermione beside the lake.

            "Ron, I know about what was happening during breakfast today!"

            "You do?"

            "Yes, Dumbledore told me and Harry."

            "Where's Harry now?"

            "Oh, Colin Creevy gave him a magic version of this Muggle game and he's been at it all morning." Ron nodded.

            "You've started singing muggle love songs, Ron! Your illness is getting worse! If you don't treat it …"

            "I know, Hermione, I know!" Then suddenly Ron went into another trance-like state. "Dirty pop! Sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about …"

            Every male being in a 5-metre radius of Ron started dancing. Since they were amateur dancers, they danced horribly. It scared Hermione out of her wits.

            "Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!" she screamed. "No!!!! Stop!!!!! Stop dancing!!!" She desperately put her hand over Ron's mouth attempting to shut him up but only in vain. "Shut up, Ron!!!!! You don't know what mental anguish you're causing me!!!!! AaAaaaaaAAAaAAAaaaaaAaaa!!!!!!" She put her hands over her ears screaming, trying to drown out Ron's singing.

            Colin and Harry were sitting at a safe distance of 50 metres away from the insanity. They were looking at a device held in Harry's hands. Harry was playing Tetris. Colin magicked the formerly electronic device to run on, er, magic, so it can be played in Hogwarts.

            "C'mon, Harry! Let me play! You've been playing for the past two centuries!"

            Harry looked up long enough to say, "Centuries?" then he looked back at the game.

            "Just said that to get your attention but obviously not for long enough." Colin sulked. "C'mon, Harry! You've played it for hours now!"

            "Hold on, Colin. Only a little bit more before I beat my last high-score."

            "How many more points?"

            "Fifty …"

            "Oh, good then, hurry…"

            "…thousand more."

            "What?!" Colin felt drowsy. Impatiently, he sat back down. He looked at the bouts of insanity that crowded around Ron, 50 metres away. "What's up with Ron?"

            Without looking up, Harry said, "Oh, Ron's developed a rare sickness. A side-effect from one his brothers' trick sweets."

            "What sickness is that?"

            "Frequently, he goes into a trance and starts singing songs causing every male being in a 5 metre radius of him to get a sudden impulse to shake their booty thang."

            "…and, baby, you can't stop coz the music's all you got! This. Must. Be. POP!" Ron snapped out of his trance. He noticed Hermione screaming. He went to stop her while boys around him just started realizing what they had been doing and with disgusted looks, walked away.

            "Hermione! It's okay, it's stopped … for now."

            Hermione looked up. Her face was flustered with anger. "That's it! Ron, I am going to try to find a cure for your horrid horrid disease!" With that Hermione stormed off … … … to the library.

*Meanwhile in Voldemort's Super Sneaky Secret Hideout*

            Voldemort is practicing the Avada Kedavra curse on various animals when suddenly Lucius Malfoy storms in. He tripped on Nagini causing him to fall onto one of the target-practice-animals. Unfortunately, at that moment, Voldemort was cursing that animal and so he missed and hit Lucius Malfoy instead. He dropped dead.

            "NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! LUCIUS!!!!!!!" Voldemort yelled in anger and frustration. He ran towards his late follower. "WHY?!??!!?!?!!!!!! WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE?!!!?!?" A tear streamed down his cheek and dropped onto Lucius' pale face.

            Wormtail, observing all this, tried to console his master. "It's okay, Master, it's not like you never killed anyone before …"

            Voldemort didn't look up. He stared at Lucius. "You don't understand Wormtail … I have never missed a curse-shot before. Until now … Lucius … he made me miss that little white fluffy bunny rabbit with incredibly huge adorable eyes!! How could he?!!" Then he stood up. "Oh, well, can't be too perfect, can you, Wormtail?" Wormtail nodded. He proceeded to clean up the carcass when Voldemort stopped him. "No need to trouble yourself, yet, Wormtail. I think Nagini's feeling a little hungry today." Nagini slithered around the carcass.

            "Tell, me Wormtail, does this Malfoy have a family?"

            "Yes, Master. A teenage boy and a wife."

            "Well, I did kill his father, the best I could do is to help them so I will not feel any guilt." Voldemort thought for a while. "I think I'll adopt his son."

*At the Ministry of Magic*

            "Percy, it's getting pretty late," Mr, Weasley said to his son. "You should go home."

            "Can't, dad," Percy said gulping a mouthful from his eleventh cup of coffee. "I've just got a request from a Thomas Marvolo Riddle wanting to adopt this fatherless child – Draco Malfoy."

            "So? Surely you can deal with it tomorrow?" his father said with concern.

            "No can do," Percy replied gulping down his twelveth cup of coffee. "The request said that if this Mr. Riddle isn't the father of a Draco Malfoy by sunrise, all hell will break loose at Hogwarts tomorrow resulting in death tolls higher than deaths accumulated in the past Triwizard Tournaments." Percy's speech was hastening.

            Mr. Weasley felt uncomfortable about this. "Oh, well, Percy … good luck!"

            "What? Hmm? Oh, yeah, thanks, dad! You too, in whatever you do! Tell, mom, I'm fine; I'll be back before you can say 'someone switched the Decaffeinated jug with the Caffeinated'. And, I'm fine if you might ask, oh, yes, this is my thirteenth cup but I feel fine! Weeeeheeeee!!!"

*The next day at Hogwarts*

            Dumbledore, wearing a hula dress, went to Harry, Ron and Hermione at the breakfast table.

            "Harry, I just wanted you to know that the Dursley's will be visiting you today and Ron, Snape would like to see you 10 o'clock at the Whomping Willow. Have a good morning, you three!" With that, he went off for his 9 o'clock hula dance in his office.

            "D'you think Snape has found a cure for my sickness?" Ron asked his friends.

            "No, I don't think so," Hermione said.

            "Why, not?" Ron asked.

            "Oh, because there isn't one," Hermione said matter-of-factly. "I checked in the library." Ron was too shocked for words.

            "Cheer up, Ron," Harry said. "If things don't work out, you can become a DJ!" Ron gave his friend a weird look. He had heard of these DJs and wondered how much money he could make.

            They reached the Whomping Willow half an hour early. They stood a safe distance away from the Whomping Willow when Dumbledore came dancing the hula towards them. Behind him were Harry's uncle, aunt and cousin. Dudley had a lollipop in his mouth.

            "Hey, Harry, I told you your relatives were coming," Dumbledore said dancing happily. Harry was amazed. He had thought it was a joke.

            "What are you three doing here?" Harry asked them.

            "Oh, my class is having Show and Tell," Dudley told Harry. "Next week. So I thought I'd show them my *cough* favourite *cough* cousin's school." He took out a notebook and wrote something at the top of the first page.

            "Oh, why, how fun, Dudley, but frankly, I can't care," Harry said honestly. He pulled out his game of Tetris and started playing. "Just two thousand more points …"

            Hermione leaned to see what Dudley had written. It said: Freak Show Candidate #1 – Harry Potter. Just then, Percy came. He went to Dumbledore."

            "Morning, Professor Dumbledore!" he said. "Why, what a nice morning. Isn't it a nice morning, Professor? I think it's a nice morning. Yesterday morning was a nice morning too. Oh, that's a lovely hula dress you've got on, Professor. Fuchsia is definitely your colour, Professor! What? Oh, I don't do much dancing. But if you insist …" Percy starts dancing with Dumbledore. "Oh, I've come to tell you, the Dark Lord is here to visit his new son, Draco Malfoy. He just adopted Draco Malfoy, do you know that, Professor? Of course you don't! That's what I'm here for. Professor, Mr. Thomas Riddle has come to visit his new son … Oh, I've said that already? Oh, yes, I did … "

            Hermione and Ron were surprised at this … Percy could really do the hula.

            "I didn't know-" Ron started but then he went into another trance-like state. "I love you, you love me…" Immediately all the males within a 5-metre radius of Ron started dancing, including Uncle Vernon and Dudley. Percy and Dumbledore continued dancing the hula.

            Dudley was … … … breakdancing! To that Barney song! He was breakdancing really hard and fast. The flabs on him were starting to work. Up and down they went, left – right. The lollipop fell out of his mouth. Harry, poor, poor Harry … he was so engrossed in his game that he didn't know Ron was singing. He was walking towards the Circle of Insanity …

            "Yes!" Harry was saying. "Almost! … 200 points, … … a hundred more … 50 … 30 … 10 more points!! Whoa …!" Harry dropped his Tetris game and started doing the foxtrot with an invisible partner. He lost his game … and Colin so conveniently picked the Tetris game up and ran.

            After ten seconds of hearing that horrible Barney song and seeing horrible dancing, Hermione ran into the castle screaming with her hands covering her ears.

            Then Lord Voldemort came. Snape was coming out of the castle, Draco with him. He told Draco, "Schnoogles! Draco, Lord Voldemort has something to tell you. Schnoogles! Go to him now." With uncertainty, Draco walked towards the Dark Lord. Lord Voldemort began:

            "Draco, about your father," he said.

            "I know about my father, Snape told me you killed him!" Draco said furiously.

            "No, it was an accident!"

            "How could you?! Show your face around here after what you did!! My father-"

            "Draco!!" Voldemort boomed. He wheezed. "*I* am your father!! *wheeze* *wheeze*"

            "NO!!" Draco yelled. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!! YOU killed him!!!! YOU killed my father!!!! You're NOT my father!!!!" Draco started running towards the castle when suddenly something hit his head. He fell then turned to see what hit him. He saw a brown fluff that looked strangely like a porcupine – with no spikes. He picked it up into his hands. "What's this?"

            "That's your welcoming present, you fool," Voldemort said to him. "Since you were going to leave without me able to give it to you, I thought I'd just throw it at you." He noticed Draco puzzling over the little animal. "It's a porcupine!"

            "What happened to its spikes?" Draco asked.

            "Oh, I accidentally cursed them off while experimenting." The porcupine-less (A/N: Haha! Get it? Porcupine-LESS? *snicker*) trotted over to the lollipop Dudley dropped. He started licking it. Then he sucked on it. While he was doing that, Dudley's leg (Dudley was still breakdancing) accidentally hit the furry porcupine-less (A/N: *snicker*) and it choked on the lollipop.

            Meanwhile, Snape went over to talk to Professor Dumbledore. He entered the Circle of Insanity and started doing the hustle. He danced over to Dumbledore.

            "Professor, I have found a potion that will make Weasley's singing sessions reduce to once a month," Snape said to Dumbledore who was still dancing the hula.

            "Very well, Snape," Dumbledore said. "What are you waiting for then?"

            "The potion requires 20 pieces of metre long planks from the Whomping Willow," Snape said. Dumbledore thought about this.

            "So, chop it off, Snape. That tree always gave me the willies. How long do you think it will take to make the potion?"

            "Oh, two hours the most, Dumbledore."

            "Good, because I was just warming up," Dumbledore said as he danced the evening away.

*Two hours later*

            Our little dancing group is still dancing. Voldemort and Draco joined in unknowingly. At every chance he got, Voldemort tried to strangle Harry. Dudley was still breakdancing – how he learned his moves, we'll never know.

            A rustling of leaves and the light chatter of little furry animals with incredibly huge adorable eyes could be heard from somewhere within the forest. The sounds got closer and closer. Then finally we see what was causing all that noise.

            BluePrint, Queen of the Forest (A/N: Haha, iluvmarauders, very funny!) majestically rode out of the forest on a majestic unicorn looking very majestic indeed. Well, she is the majestic Queen of the Forest … Her grand entrance was accompanied by the little furry animals with incredibly huge adorable eyes who were her loyal servants. She stared at the scene in front of her. Then she let out an incredibly majestic and royal laugh.

            "What is all this?" the majestic queen said. She understood the situation (poor her … or rather … me) and proceeded to fix it but then Snape came running out of the castle with an ickle bitty potion vial thinking he was gonna save the day. How wrong he was. He saw the queen and (A/N: 'immediately started kissing the hems of her majestic robes … icky …') ran to her.

            "Majestic -schnoogles-, BluePrint, Queen of the Magical Forest!" he said. "I am so very sorry -schnoogles- you had to see this-"

            Snape could not finish what he was going to say because the majestic queen just took out her majestic wand and said a majestic incantation (which is only majestic because the majestic queen said it), which made a majestic blue light zap out of her majestic wand that majestically headed towards Ron ("We're a happy family…") and majestically made him stop singing.

            The dancers stopped dancing except for Dumbledore who was still doing the hula. A heap of clothes could be heard falling onto the ground. It moved … wait a tick!

            "That's not a heap of clothes, you know," Hermione Know-It-All Granger said. She just came from the castle.

            "Then what is it? … Schnoogles?" Snape asked.

            "It's … it's …" Harry stammered in horror. "D-Dudley!!!!"

            Dudley stirred. Then he got up. His clothes hung from him.

            "Oh, the horror!" the majestic queen majestically said.

            "He … he's … THIN!!!!" Harry said. "Yes! Now I get to eat more desert without him finishing it all!"

            So, once again, the day is saved by … The Powerpuff Girls … what? What do you mean this isn't the Powerpuff Girls show?! It's not? Well, even if this isn't the Powerpuff Girls show, it says here on the script … What? Somebody switched my scripts? One of the furry little animals with incredibly huge adorable eyes ate it? Oh, well, I'll just say something else then …

            So, the day has been saved by BluePrint, Majestic Queen of the Magical Forest, Dudley is thin and Voldemort is currently enjoying his new fatherhood. Percy's fainted and they're building an outhouse with the remaining planks from the Whomping Willow.  Ron has been cured, Harry is devastated that he didn't get to beat his last high-score and the nice guys at St. Mungo don't find it necessary anymore for Hermione to be admitted. The author of this fic had so much fun writing this that she isn't bored anymore so to sum it up, it's a happy ending!

END

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters. I own myself (BluePrint) in there. I don't own the Backstreet Boys' song, N'Sync's song or that Barney song (thank God!). Don't own the Powerpuff Girls either!

About the Majestic Queen of the Magical Forest, don't think I'm egoistical or anything like that. When I was coffee-high the other day, I sent an email to iluvmarauders saying I'm Queen of the Magical Forest and the little furry animals are my servants. That's probably where she got the idea. The Tetris too … I'm an addict! So don't think I'm really egoistical or anything. And I don't like boybands, so don't think I do.

Ta!

Oh, and if you're bored, feel free to send me a challenge at blueprint87@email.com!