ALL ALONE
My heart beat unsteadily. Every step I took. The town was like a ghost town and the spirit of my only true love haunted it. I passed by the deserted alley that lead to my destination, the destination I never wanted to go to until a few weeks ago. A few weeks, it's just been that long ago. It seems like only yesterday I held him in my arms and whispered in his ear, "Ai shiteru". Only yesterday that he was in this exact same colony, dreaming. I never knew there would be anything to dream of until I met him. I climbed the steep hill to the granite slab that was bolted to the ground above the body of my soul mate. I watched my hand slid down the slick, bleak stone. It crossed a dent that was part of the name.
Duo Maxwell
AC 180-AC 197
And that was it. No mother. No father. No war hero. No mention of the Maxwell Church Tragedy. Just the date of birth and death. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't I have taken his place? I will never hear that cheery voice. The nagging. Nor the angel when he sleeps. Now all I have is a picture. A damn picture! That's all that's left of him to the world is a picture. The world will never know about the baka I loved so dearly. Why? For the first time tears come to my eyes. The are hot. Warm. Almost scorching my face. They came faster. Faster. I felt their warmth, like his, on my legs as I knelt before the tombstone. "Why Duo? Why?" I heard my tear choked voice start yelling at the silver stone. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE? WHY DUO!?" I started saying something else but my tears wouldn't let them come to my mouth. I cried harder that I had ever cried before. They wouldn't stop. They poured down my already blazing face. Non-stop. Out of control. Streaming down my face like rivers rushing to the ocean. He would have known this. He always knew when no one else did. He knew me and my life. My body. My mind. My soul. "Oh, Duo..." Finally words came out of my mouth. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was warm, inviting, gentle. I didn't turn my head but just whispered. "Duo?" A voice came from behind me. It was strange, unfamiliar. "I'm sorry Heero, it's not Duo." I quickly turned my head to see a blonde haired boy. His name, I remember him from somewhere, but the name won't come to mind. "Wh...Who are you?" The boy giggled slightly but helped me up from my position. "Don't you remember me? I'm Quatre. It's only been two years, Heero." Quatre, of course. Only he would be messing around in other people's business. Only he would give that sweet innocent smile like he doesn't know anything. I brushed myself off and looked him straight into those gentle, hunter green eyes and said, "Why the hell did you come here, huh? If you're trying to find out why I am crying, you can forget it, you bitch!" The tears were welling up again. "Just go away and leave me alone!!!" He could tell. He looked right through me as if I were transparent. He looked at Duo that way once. Once. A year ago, when Duo was afraid that some one was going to kill me. But that some one killed him. He had always told me he thought he was being stalked but overlooked it until that one day. That one day when he was sure he was being followed. That one day he had been threatened to leave me. Quatre looked through him the day after. He was coming for a visit and Duo danced in, but somehow both of us knew. Knew he had been threatened. Knew that he was going to hide it. I never have been able to think that some one would be that worried. That caring and loving of me, the fifteen year old assassin, to fear that another person was going to kill me. When really he suffered. He took the toll. Not me. Not the one that should have been dead. He did...did that for me. Me. Everyone always thought I would be the one to die first. Not sweet, nice, hyperactive Duo. Not the one that would hold us together. His death tore us apart. Not just me and Duo, but the others. "Do you hear me Duo? You made us suffer! This is all your fault! You shouldn't have saved me. You shouldn't have left me. I deserve to die! I deserve to suffer. Not you! NOT YOU DUO!!! I was the one that tried committing suicide! Not you! Listen to me Duo. LISTEN TO ME!" Those tears, not again. Quatre is still there. Feeling pity. Feeling sorrow for me. He helps me up yet again and puts his arm around my back. "Heero, I think you've visited Duo enough for today. Let's go home, ne?" I nodded but regretted having to go back.
The pain, the grief. My walk home was the trail of tears, hate, pity, hope, and no future. The house was only a few streets from the graveyard, but the march there made it seem like it took days to get to the place that my baka used to be. The last place I saw his bright, violet eyes light up. Now, they are gloomy, dreary, uncolored. We got to the small house. Quatre helped me to my room. My room. The room that used to be our room. Now I sit in the dark. His smile isn't there to brighten it. The only thing that is there is an antique lamp that sits at the desk where my computer lies. I remember the day before he told me he was being watched. I was sitting at that very computer with that very lamp turned on. The lamp wasn't that bright until he walked into the room. I was typing a letter to him telling him how much he meant to me. "Whatcha doin?" I turned the top of the laptop down so he could not see. "N..Nothing!" He giggled and turned so he looked me straight in the face. "I saw the note and I just wanted to say I love you too, Hee-chan!" He then gave me the last kiss he would ever give me. I felt my throat choke up again. I found my gun and picked it up. The black metal felt like ice on my hand. The freezing metal touched my temple as I whispered to the sky. "I'm coming to join you Duo." With that, I squeezed the trigger. The last sound I heard was a loud bang. The last thing I saw was the picture of Duo on the wall, happier than ever. Now I know I won't be alone anymore...
My heart beat unsteadily. Every step I took. The town was like a ghost town and the spirit of my only true love haunted it. I passed by the deserted alley that lead to my destination, the destination I never wanted to go to until a few weeks ago. A few weeks, it's just been that long ago. It seems like only yesterday I held him in my arms and whispered in his ear, "Ai shiteru". Only yesterday that he was in this exact same colony, dreaming. I never knew there would be anything to dream of until I met him. I climbed the steep hill to the granite slab that was bolted to the ground above the body of my soul mate. I watched my hand slid down the slick, bleak stone. It crossed a dent that was part of the name.
Duo Maxwell
AC 180-AC 197
And that was it. No mother. No father. No war hero. No mention of the Maxwell Church Tragedy. Just the date of birth and death. Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't I have taken his place? I will never hear that cheery voice. The nagging. Nor the angel when he sleeps. Now all I have is a picture. A damn picture! That's all that's left of him to the world is a picture. The world will never know about the baka I loved so dearly. Why? For the first time tears come to my eyes. The are hot. Warm. Almost scorching my face. They came faster. Faster. I felt their warmth, like his, on my legs as I knelt before the tombstone. "Why Duo? Why?" I heard my tear choked voice start yelling at the silver stone. "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE? WHY DUO!?" I started saying something else but my tears wouldn't let them come to my mouth. I cried harder that I had ever cried before. They wouldn't stop. They poured down my already blazing face. Non-stop. Out of control. Streaming down my face like rivers rushing to the ocean. He would have known this. He always knew when no one else did. He knew me and my life. My body. My mind. My soul. "Oh, Duo..." Finally words came out of my mouth. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was warm, inviting, gentle. I didn't turn my head but just whispered. "Duo?" A voice came from behind me. It was strange, unfamiliar. "I'm sorry Heero, it's not Duo." I quickly turned my head to see a blonde haired boy. His name, I remember him from somewhere, but the name won't come to mind. "Wh...Who are you?" The boy giggled slightly but helped me up from my position. "Don't you remember me? I'm Quatre. It's only been two years, Heero." Quatre, of course. Only he would be messing around in other people's business. Only he would give that sweet innocent smile like he doesn't know anything. I brushed myself off and looked him straight into those gentle, hunter green eyes and said, "Why the hell did you come here, huh? If you're trying to find out why I am crying, you can forget it, you bitch!" The tears were welling up again. "Just go away and leave me alone!!!" He could tell. He looked right through me as if I were transparent. He looked at Duo that way once. Once. A year ago, when Duo was afraid that some one was going to kill me. But that some one killed him. He had always told me he thought he was being stalked but overlooked it until that one day. That one day when he was sure he was being followed. That one day he had been threatened to leave me. Quatre looked through him the day after. He was coming for a visit and Duo danced in, but somehow both of us knew. Knew he had been threatened. Knew that he was going to hide it. I never have been able to think that some one would be that worried. That caring and loving of me, the fifteen year old assassin, to fear that another person was going to kill me. When really he suffered. He took the toll. Not me. Not the one that should have been dead. He did...did that for me. Me. Everyone always thought I would be the one to die first. Not sweet, nice, hyperactive Duo. Not the one that would hold us together. His death tore us apart. Not just me and Duo, but the others. "Do you hear me Duo? You made us suffer! This is all your fault! You shouldn't have saved me. You shouldn't have left me. I deserve to die! I deserve to suffer. Not you! NOT YOU DUO!!! I was the one that tried committing suicide! Not you! Listen to me Duo. LISTEN TO ME!" Those tears, not again. Quatre is still there. Feeling pity. Feeling sorrow for me. He helps me up yet again and puts his arm around my back. "Heero, I think you've visited Duo enough for today. Let's go home, ne?" I nodded but regretted having to go back.
The pain, the grief. My walk home was the trail of tears, hate, pity, hope, and no future. The house was only a few streets from the graveyard, but the march there made it seem like it took days to get to the place that my baka used to be. The last place I saw his bright, violet eyes light up. Now, they are gloomy, dreary, uncolored. We got to the small house. Quatre helped me to my room. My room. The room that used to be our room. Now I sit in the dark. His smile isn't there to brighten it. The only thing that is there is an antique lamp that sits at the desk where my computer lies. I remember the day before he told me he was being watched. I was sitting at that very computer with that very lamp turned on. The lamp wasn't that bright until he walked into the room. I was typing a letter to him telling him how much he meant to me. "Whatcha doin?" I turned the top of the laptop down so he could not see. "N..Nothing!" He giggled and turned so he looked me straight in the face. "I saw the note and I just wanted to say I love you too, Hee-chan!" He then gave me the last kiss he would ever give me. I felt my throat choke up again. I found my gun and picked it up. The black metal felt like ice on my hand. The freezing metal touched my temple as I whispered to the sky. "I'm coming to join you Duo." With that, I squeezed the trigger. The last sound I heard was a loud bang. The last thing I saw was the picture of Duo on the wall, happier than ever. Now I know I won't be alone anymore...
