This is my first X-files, so please be kind and don't sue me!

The X-Y-Z Files


Dana Scully poked her head through the door of her and Mulder's basement office. "Mulder, Skinner wants to see us."

"I'll be right there," answered Fox Mulder through a mouthful of Chinese noodles. He dusted off his hands on his pant legs and stood up. "Okay, let's go."

Scully bit her lip to stop from laughing, but Mulder noticed her amusement. "What is it?"

"XYZ," Scully whispered, letting out a small chortle.

"What?"

"X-Y-Z! You know, eXamine Your Zipper?" Scully joked, wiping tears from her eyes.

Mulder looked down and noticed his pants' fly wide open with his alien boxers poking out. "Damnit, how the hell did that happen?"

"Just zip it up and forget about," Scully muttered as she turned towards the door.

"I can't forget it! This is going to wrack my brain! I swear that when I left my apartment this morning, Mister Winky was fully protected from the elements!" Mulder shouted, slamming his fist on his desk.

"Mister…Winky…?" Scully asked, one eyebrow cocked.

"Exactly. *cough* I sense this is all one big conspiracy..," Mulder mused, getting a faraway look in his eyes.

"Right. Well, you can worry about your Mr. Winky being exposed later, but we were supposed to meet Skinner awhile ago..," Scully sighed, rolling her eyes.

"This is more important! I believe that little women have been implanted into man's pants for the sole purpose of unzipping zippers."

"Little women? Won't Mr. Winky be happy about that?" Scully scoffed.

"Yes, but then whenever a man gets around a woman, the little women, or 'pixies' as I like to call them get jealous. Therefore, they embarrass the man with an open fly, forever preventing the man of chances of love."

Before Scully could retort, there was a knock as Aeryka came in and announced, "Mulder? Scully? Skinner needs you now."

After Aeryka left, Scully stared at Mulder. "Who was that?"

Mulder shrugged. "Some girl who asked to be in the story. Apparently she taught the authoress everything she knows about the X-files."

"Ah. Skinner's waiting."

"Not anymore I'm not," Skinner shouted, coming out of nowhere. "What is taking so long in here?"

"Uh, Skinner?" Scully began. "Your zipper is down."

Skinner's cheeks turned red, and as ran to the bathroom to close his fly, Mulder remarked, "I tell you Scully. The truth is down there."

The End