A/N: A long one

A/N: I decided to split this chapter in half. This was going to be really long, but I wanted to get a new chapter up before school was out. You might find a part of this confusing.

Chapter 7: Reaching Out

Returning to consciousness the next morning wasn't as easy as it was the previous day. The easterly sunlight wasn't as welcomed and her head was pounding, She must have had a little too much of the eggnog last night. She just laid there, too tired to move at all. The day aster Christmas was always terrible. She became so depressed. The excitement of the holiday exhausted her and the way Severus left her in the path made her feel so jilted. And whoever was banging on her door, making her head none the batter was going to suffer thee dire consequences! "Go away!" She told her awakener. The pounding on the door ceased, but not her in head. She could hear a muffled voice from behind the door and then the lock clicking open. Furious, Mallory sat up as her visitor made herself welcomed. "This is an invasion of privacy," she growled.

"Nonsense, it's a concerned friend helping her friend get over a hangover," McGonagall said, strolling in.

"I'm not hungover," she tried to deny, but flinched at the sound of her own voice ringing in her ears.

"Of course not, dear," She said patronizingly, "you didn't drink that much eggnog last night. Now where do you keep your meds?"

"Over there, in the bureau," she pointed reluctantly.

"Told you that you should have had quit while you were ahead," McGonagall continued as she rummaged through each drawer in turn. "Plus, you really shouldn't wear jewelry to bed, especially not a necklace, you could strangle yourself in your sleep!"

"Maybe that's the idea," she said, playing with the silver pendant.

"Don't be such a damned pessimist, dearest. What are you still doing with this?" Along with two bottles of potion, McGonagall removed a silver handled dagger from Mallory's dresser.

"You know that's all I have of me mum."

"Yes, dearest, but I don't want any incidents like we did when you were a student."

"What incidents? I never used it on anyone, I just threatened to."

"And that was bad enough! You're not keeping it on your person anymore, are you?"

Mallory shrugged. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Isn't that the point of a concealed weapon?"

"Don't even joke. It's dangerous."

"So is a wand and every man, woman, and child here carries one. Concealed, I may add."

"It's not the same and you know it. It takes skill to properly use a wand and ant idiot can do damage with a knife." She sat next to Mallory on the bed and handed her the bottle with blue liquid. "There now, that should help. You only have one of these left, by the way," She shook the tiny container of yellow potion.

"I know, I just haven't been needing it lately," she shrugged, "I don't know, I guess some things are different now. I just don't get those horrible breakdowns as often." Even so, she looked rather dejected.

"Don't let him get you down, he's not worth it."

Mallory was becoming indignant. "I'm not letting him do anything to me!"

McGonagall cocked an eyebrow. "Then why are you so sensitive about the subject?"

"Oh, come off it Minerva. There's no need for you to be so jealous."

McGonagall was surely taken aback by the insinuation. "Jealous about what? You?"

"I know that you want Severus all for your self and are upset with all the time he's devoting to me."

McGonagall was seething with anger. "Well, I never! Me in love with Severus? My dear child, what kind of inane idea is that?"

"Well if it's not true, then why are you so sensitive with the subject?"

McGonagall smiled, "Touché."

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Severus couldn't help but notice that Mallory was back to her braided hair, gloomy self. Well, maybe not gloomy, but she was quiet and seemed perhaps thoughtful. All during dinner she just kept her head down, chewed on her lower lip, and fiddled with the necklace. "Will you stop that? It's making me nervous."

She jumped a little and immediately dropped the knot. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Why are you being such a God damned jerk towards her? What the hell do you think you are doing? Wouldn't you rather have her like you? "I don't give a damn if anybody likes me."

"Did you say something?"

"What? No, just talking to myself."

"Let me guess: The only way you can get an intelligent conversation?"

"if only that were the case," he sighed.

"Don't worry, if you ever go Schizo, I won't hold it against you."

That's comforting," he sneered. At his ill-natured remark, Mallory turned away from him, frowning and poking her dinner with her knife. He decided to ignore her, too. So they sat in silence. Until, that is, he felt the burning on his forearm and had to excuse himself from the table.

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The new year came and along with it so did the returning students from their winter holiday. They soon calmed down after their vacation. The faculty made sure of it. Professor McGonagall, as usual, kept them busy in class and gave them homework every night. Professor O'Kenly seemed to have a continuos headache and was more interested in that necklace of hers than her students. The potions master looked like he hadn't slept in a year, and like O'Kenly he was constantly distracted, but more with his won thoughts, than an actual object.

He was frustrated. Frustrated with his double jobs, with the students, with himself, and mostly with her. He tried to find anything about her that would ground his suspicions. He looked through all sorts of ministry records and files for some kind of clue, but there was nothing. Nothing to connect her to anything that could provide a basis for his distrust, but his mind was still unsettled. He battled with his distrust and his definite attraction. This made him all the more irritable.

"I thought I said no talking, Potter," Snape growled, not even looking up from the papers he was correcting.

"Sir, I was just asking Ron-"

"I don't give a damn if you were proposing to Mr. Weasley! Detention, Potter for disobeying and ten points from Gryffendor for arguing." Harry grumbled a couple colourful words under his breath in an attempt to find the right one to describe his teacher. "That'll be ten more points."

That night, Harry was in the dungeons cleaning ingredients jars. It was very disgusting. At the other side of the room. Snape sat at his desk, quickly writing something. Suddenly he stood. "I'll be back in a moment, Potter, keep working." Harry kept his eyes on his task until he heard the door open and footsteps entering the room. "Mallory, I was just on my way to see you," said a surprised Snape.

"I know. Oh hi, Harry, detention again?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Back to work, Potter!" Snape snapped as he led Professor O'Kenly as far from Harry's earshot as possible, but he was still able to hear at least O'Kenly's half of the conversation; she spoke louder than Snape's:

"What is it that you wanted to talk to me about……. Oh yes, I thought you'd like it……. No, I always loved his works……. Well I'm glad……. And I wanted to thank you myself…….Don't try to deny it, you know full well as I….." she let out an exasperated sigh, "Sometimes, Severus, you are so bloody impossible!" With the sharp tapping of her boots against the dungeon floor, O Kenly exited.

Daring to turn, Harry looked back at Snape. He crossed to his desk, muttering to himself. "Leave."

"Sir?"

"I said leave, Potter, get the hell out of my sight!"

Not having to be told twice, Harry left, leaving Snape talking to himself.

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Oh, great.

She didn't know where she was. She knew that she was in a corridor in Hogwarts, but which one? How did she get there? That had to be the worst part: Having a complete memory crisis. It was cold in that hall, and dark, and damp, and lonely… Her mind was cloudy, and so was her vision. Tears were forming in her eyes. She was so confused. Where had she just been? If she could only remember that, maybe she can keep herself from panicking. No, that wasn't going to happen. She wished some one would find her. Was this all a nightmare? No, not even her worse dreams were as real as this. She tried to convince herself that nothing was wrong. Maybe she was just sleepwalking. But she never sleepwalked before. Running out of ideas, she took her final solution: She sat on the floor, brought her knees under her chin, wrapped her arms around her legs and cried. Cried out of frustration, out of irrational fear, and out of lack of spirit. She only became like this once before. When she was in her fifth year, when she felt she couldn't handle anything anymore:

"Mallory, what's wrong?" "Go Away" "Come on, dear, get up." "I told you to leave me the hell alone!"

"I it's one in the morning. What were you doing out side?" "When was I outside?" "That's were I found you. Don't you remember, Mally?" "Go away!" "Mally, put that down, I thought I told you never to have that with you." "Don't call me, 'Mally'! You're not allowed to!" "I just want to help." "I don't need you're help!"

"Oh, God, help me," she cried.

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Severus, completely distraught and tired made his way through one of Hogwarts abandoned hallways. He used it often to make his way in and out of the castle unnoticed whenever he had to go on call. The usual desolation of the hall was interrupted by the sounds of sobs. Snape stopped. Ever so heedfully, he approached the direction of the sound. The sight made him stop again. Even in the dim lighting he recognized the figure curled against the wall, her face buried in her arms. He knelt next to her. "Mallory?"

She looked up, eyes wide in surprise. Her face was red and wet from the tears. She stared at him for a couple seconds. She seemed highly unfocused. "Severus?" She asked in a quavering whisper.

"Yes, it's me," he said gently.

"Wh-where am I?"

He searched her frantic features. He realized what was going on. Her panic attacks. She had a complete breakdown, He'd never seen her so helpless and vulnerable, all of the strong defiance that underlayed her blue eyes had all but vanished, and it made his chest ache to see her so. "I'll go get Madam Pomfry." He said hurriedly, standing up.

"No!" She said shortly.

"What can I do?" He felt as helpless as she looked.

She extended her arms towards him. "Help me up, just help me get to my room."

He hesitated, uncertain, but the way her blue eyes pleaded he had no choice. Bending down again, he placed his hands under her arms and pulled her to her feet/ He quickly put an arm around her waste to keep her steady. Through the seriousness of the situation he couldn't help but notice how good it felt to have her pressed against him and her head resting on his shoulder. They started for her chambers with great difficulty. She was too shaken and weak to walk and her feet were dragging. This will not do. He repositioned his arms and scooped her off the ground. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. Carrying her, he made made it to her bedroom door much easier.

Looking down, he saw that Mallory had fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion, in his arms. He didn't want To wake her so he somehow managed, though awkwardly, to get his wand out from his robes and tapped it twice on the door knob. As quietly as he could, he used his foot to open and cringed as the old door squeaked on it's hinges. Next to her bed, he carefully freed on of his arms from beneath her and brought her to a standing position, holding on to her by the waist. She still slept. Like the dead. He threw back the blankets and gently layed her down on the mattress. He carefully removed her boots and then pulled the covers up to her chin. He was about to exit, but stopped and turned to look at her docile form. He knelt next to the bed and brushed a few stray hairs off her face. Then lightly kissed her forehead. She let out a small noise in he sleep. He left.

The Divine List of Reviewers:

Aeiou, Hippy Gypsy, Rosmerta, Rushunble (I thought the "accidental" love-knot was pretty cute), Sphinx, Iphi (I think we have moved past the apology now?), marvin, thumper, Melissa Ivory, Thea, *~*Ginny Potter*~*, Lilith Morgana (What are you up to, girl?), madamrosewine, bluemeanies, Kara Darkblood (Formerly Kate the Great), VV, White Bears, Unicorn Lady, Firebrand, potionsmater, Anna (Don't worry, I'll get to the part you're waiting for next), Bunny, Ginger Donahue (Yes, you are divine. Get Well Soon!) Rose Flame,(okay, I'll ignore you), Soul Seeker (That was the nicest review ever! No, nothing Celtic in my background, just a bit fascinated by Ireland).

I am the weakest link, Goodbye!