"Why is the sky blue?"

"Because it's not purple."

"Why isn't the sky purple?"

"Because it's blue."

"Why does the sun only come out half of the day?"

"Because the moon can be a scary bugger."

"Why is the sun afraid of the moon?"

"Because the sun's a big ol' nonce."

"Why do birds sing?"

"Because they don't bark."

"Why don't they bark?"

"Because they couldn't afford barking lessons."

"Why do I have to shower?"

"Because..... otherwise you'll smell like Uncle Xander... but don't tell him I said that."

"Why don't flowers grow out of rocks?"

"Because the live in dirt."

"Why do they live in dirt?"

"Because it costs too much for them to rent a flat on a rock."

"Why is Will older tham me?"

"Because... he is."

Spike has been busily working on the DeSoto again when Joyce had wandered into the garage, exclaiming she had some very important questions. Five minutes later she was still asking while he fiddled with the underbody of the car.

"Why do Auntie Tara and Auntie Willow live together?"

Bullocks, these were starting to get hard..., "Because they do."

"But why?"

"Because they love each other."

"Why do Uncle Angel and Auntie Cordy live together?"

"Because he needed a good shag," he muttered under his breath, tossing a piece of useless machinery towards the garbage.

"Why?" she questioned anxiously.

"Uh... because they're in love, too."

She faltered, "So... why do you and mommy live together?"

"Same reason."

She grinned impishly, "You live together because Uncle Angel and Auntie Cordy love each other?"

He shook his head at her and chuckled, "No you goose. Because your mum and I love each other."

This satisfied her for a moment. Only a moment.

"Why are babies born?"

Bloody hell... where was Buffy when you needed her? Oh... right...

"Uh..." he set down what he was working on and motioned for her to come nearer, "You askin' because of this business that's goin' on right now?"

Joyce considered this a moment, toying with the rag he had been using, before nodding at him.

He released the breath he had been holding and pulled her into his lap, not caring he would more than likely ruin the clothes she was wearing with oil stains. So together they sat on the floor of the garage, and Spike began to explain.

"When a mum and a da love each other, they get together and decide... um, well they," there was no delicate way to put this, so he plunged ahead, "They ask the stork to get them one from the cabbage patch!" No, that wasn't right. Bugger... what had his own mum told him? Somethin' similar... not that... but... similiar.

Judging by the look on her tiny features, Joyce wasn't buying the whole cabbage patch bit. Oh bullocks... looked like it was time for the truth... well... sort of.

"OK, ducks. It's like this. When a mum and a da love each other very very much, they decide to have a baby together."

Joyce peered up at him, "But how?"

Seconds turned into minutes and at first she though her question would go unanswered.

"Well, you see," she was avidly paying attention now, "The daddy... gives the mum... somethin'... to put in her belly and that's where the baby is made," he smiled proudly. Right delicate he was with that.

"But how does it grow?" Spike's smile dropped.

"Because... there's just something in there that makes it grow."

"Why?" Another pause followed.

"Because that's how God intended it."

"Why?"

"Because it's a bloody good system! That's why!"

She giggled, "Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Why?"

He growled at her and she leapt from his lap, still giggling and ran for the door. She had almost made her exit when she paused, clutching the doorjamb,

"Will you love me or Will less 'cause you hafta' love the new baby too?"

His gaze softened, "No, luv! Could never love either of you less."

She smiled, pleased with his answer, before the light of mischief returned to her eyes, "Why?"

He growled again and this time chased the tiny, giggling girl.

END





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