Breaking Point
by Kimura
Chapter 5 - Touched
When Tasuki woke up the next day, the mess from the night before had been cleaned up. Kouji came in.
"Hey," he said softly, pulling a chair beside the bed. "How're you feeling?"
Tasuki shrugged.
"You hungry?"
Tasuki shook his head.
Kouji looked at him carefully, noticing a hunger in his eyes that hadn't been as prominent before. He needs me to be his friend right now, Kouji thought. Not his doctor. He reached out his hand to tousle his hair gently, but Tasuki flinched away from the gesture. Kouji bit his lip. That was the wrong move.
"You just don't feel like talkin' today?" he asked quietly.
Tasuki shook his head, looking a little embarrassed.
"That's okay," Kouji told him. "You don't have to." He paused. "You probably haven't talked much in a while anyway."
Guess that leaves conversation up to me, Kouji thought. Hell, since when have I had a problem with that?
"Tyoushi and I figured that we probably fed you a bit much yesterday," Kouji started out. "That's why you got sick. Did they feed you anything besides water and rice?"
Tasuki shook his head, looking a little uncomfortable.
"Okay, we'll just start you out slow and you'll be fine."
Tasuki looked up at him again, that same hunger more desperate in his eyes than before.
Kouji leaned forward. "What, Genrou? What is it? What do you need? Tell me, please."
Tasuki turned away, shrugging.
"You don't know, do you," Kouji said, more to himself than anyone else. He wanted to touch his friend and comfort him, but the redhead didn't seem to want physical contact. Kouji sighed, frustrated. He's miserable and there's nothing I can do about it, he thought. He sighed again, standing up. "I'm gonna go dig up some food for both of us. I'll be back in a minute."
As he turned to leave, Tasuki's hand shot out and grabbed Kouji's wrist.
Kouji turned, only to see that the look in Tasuki's eyes was close to hysterical.
"Hey, shh," he said soothingly, sitting back down. "It's okay. I won't leave if you don't want me to."
Tasuki released his wrist and relaxed only a fraction.
Kouji again slowly reached out his hand, but Tasuki still jerked away.
"Genrou, you're safe here," Kouji reassured him. "No one's gonna hurt you."
Tasuki didn't reply.
~~~
"You sure this won't make him sick?" Kouji asked, holding a tray of food.
"It's just a simple broth," Tyoushi answered. "His stomach should be able to handle it. Just feed him that and some rice and he'll be fine. He must be hungry."
Kouji sighed. "If he is, I wouldn't know."
Tyoushi frowned. "Why not? Is he still not talking about his health?"
"It's not that. Today he just doesn't feel like talking at all."
Tyoushi nodded. "I guess we should expect that kind of thing."
"There's something else," Kouji said slowly, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts. "He won't let me touch him either. He's terrified; I know he is. I keep telling him he's safe, but I don't think my words are really getting through. I just wanna comfort him, but he won't let me."
Tyoushi thought for a minute. "I think I know why. Put yourself in his shoes. For the past three months, any time someone touches you, it's to hit you, hold you back, hold you down, or force you to do something you don't want to."
Kouji nodded. "I should've thought of that. What should I do? Should I force him?"
"I'm not sure, Kouji. I'm not an expert. I'd think it would probably do him good. I'd start slow, though."
Kouji nodded. "Thanks, Tyoushi." He went into Tasuki's room, carrying the tray. He had managed to get Tasuki to take a much-needed nap. Kouji was relieved he was still asleep. He tried set the tray down as quietly as possible, but the slight noise caused Tasuki to wake.
"I brought you some food," Kouji said cheerfully.
Tasuki looked nervous.
"It's okay," Kouji told him. "Tyoushi said this won't make you sick." Tasuki still looked unsure. "You've gotta be hungry, Genrou. C'mon, I'll help you." Kouji helped Tasuki sit up and handed him the bowl of broth. "It'll help you get your strength back, Gen-chan."
Tasuki tried to hold it, but his hands shook so badly he nearly dropped it. Kouji reached out and steadied it, helping him hold it and drink. Tasuki looked ashamed, but after the first taste realized just how hungry he was.
"Easy, Gen, don't eat it too fast."
They managed to get through lunch without any major mishaps. Kouji set the tray aside.
"You feeling any better?"
Tasuki shrugged.
"You think you can let Tyoushi take a look at you?"
After a minute, Tasuki nodded. Kouji stood and opened the door for the doctor.
Tyoushi smiled warmly. He decided it would be better not to say anything, since he knew Tasuki wouldn't respond. He carefully pulled the blankets back and started to examine his patient. He winced as he looked over Tasuki's legs, which were severely bruised.
Kouji watched the examination, his face clouded with anger. That bastard Makara . . . what the fuck did he do this for?
Tasuki winced a little at Tyoushi's probing.
Tyoushi frowned as he examined Tasuki's ankle. There was an odd bump that stuck out from where it should normally be. Trying to be as gentle as he could, he felt it over, trying to determine what had caused it.
"Genrou, did you break your ankle?"
Tasuki shrugged.
"Did you land on it wrong one day? Did it hurt a lot?"
Tasuki nodded.
"Shit," Tyoushi muttered. "It didn't set straight. It's healing incorrectly."
Tasuki looked alarmed.
"Is there any way to fix it?" Kouji asked anxiously.
Tyoushi nodded. "Yes, but it's not pleasant. I'd have to break the bone again and reset it myself."
Unable to help it, Tasuki started shaking.
"I'll leave you two to talk it over. He'd probably be able to walk on it if I don't reset it, but I'm not how much else he'd be able to do." Tyoushi quickly evacuated the room.
"Whoa, whoa, easy, Gen-chan," Kouji said smoothly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You don't have to, if you don't want to."
Tasuki shook his head violently, starting to cry.
Kouji reached out to hug his friend and Tasuki flinched at the touch.
"Shh," Kouji told him, stroking his hair gently. "I would never hit you, Genrou," he said emphatically. "You know that. No one here wants to hurt you. I know it's hard, but you can trust me." He continued running his fingers through his friend's hair.
Tasuki lay still, letting him do it. Kindness had become a word without meaning to him, but here was his best friend, teaching him all over again. The tears fell silently. After a minute, he scooted up the bed a little, putting his head in Kouji's lap.
Thank God, Kouji thought. He's finally starting to trust me again. "Shhh, it's all right, Gen-chan. You'll be okay. We'll get through this together."
"Stupid, stupid," Tasuki sobbed.
"No, no you're not stupid, Genrou. Anyone who'd been through what you have . . ." He trailed off, not wanting to go into details and upset him further. Of course, I don't even know the details. Tasuki's shoulders were heaving with the hard sobs. "Shhh," Kouji told him. "It's all right now. It's all over."
"I just wanna die," he moaned.
"Genrou, don't say that!" Kouji cried, shocked. "Everything can be the way it was, it's just gonna take time."
Tasuki quieted. "I want to fix my ankle."
"Genrou, are you sure?"
He nodded.
"Right now?"
"Yeah," Tasuki answered shakily.
Kouji nodded slowly. He stood up, easing Tasuki's head off his lap and sticking his head out the door.
"Is he all right?" Tyoushi asked anxiously.
"He's doing better," Kouji replied. "He wants you to fix his ankle."
"Now?" the doctor asked incredulously.
Kouji nodded. "I thought he might want to wait, but I think he just wants to get it over with."
"Okay then," Tyoushi answered, going back into the room. "Okay, first, we need to get you turned over. So you don't hurt yourself anymore, let Kouji and me help you." Between the three of them, they gently turned Tasuki onto his stomach. He was shivering slightly.
"You sure about this?" Kouji asked one last time.
Tasuki, his face unusually pale, nodded.
Kouji gripped his hand. "Squeeze as hard as you need to, kid."
Tasuki nodded, closing his eyes.
Tyoushi examined the ankle carefully, then took it into his hands. "Ready?"
Tasuki nodded.
"On three. One."
Tasuki clutched the pillow with his free hand.
"Two. Three." Tyoushi snapped the bone in two.
Tasuki screamed, crushing Kouji's hand.
Kouji knelt beside him, hugging him from behind. "Shhh, it's almost over, Gen-chan. It's okay."
Tyoushi set the bone into its proper place and splinted it to keep it there. "Man, you've gotta be one of the bravest people I know, Genrou. I'll be back in a minute." He quickly left the room.
"Shh, it's okay, Gen-chan. You did great. You'll be fine now. It's okay."
Tasuki tried to push away the memories the pain brought back. He could hear Makara's taunting voice and the laughter of the guards. "No," he moaned. "No more . . ."
"It's okay, Genrou. It's over. The pain will go away. You'll be all right."
Kouji's voice started to come through the cacophony of memories. I'm not there anymore, Tasuki told himself firmly. I'm free from Makara . . . Kouji wouldn't lie to me. He shook his head slightly, trying to come back to reality.
Kouji watched as a little of the tension drained from Tasuki. He must be exhausted, he thought. This's been one helluva day.
Tyoushi came back in, relieved to see that Tasuki had calmed a little. "I brought him something to help with the pain," he said, holding a small bowl.
Kouji nodded and helped Tasuki roll back over onto his back. He sat up very slowly and drank the proffered broth.
"It will obviously take some time to heal," Tyoushi continued. "But your legs need the time to recover. In a few days, we'll start to some exercises to get them back into shape."
"How long before I can walk again?" Tasuki asked hoarsely, his eyes still red.
Tyoushi fidgeted. "I'm not sure. It depends on how well the rest of your body can recover. Don't underestimate the amount of damage that's been done to you. You need time." He took the bowl back from Tasuki and excused himself.
Tasuki laid back down.
Kouji reached out to smooth his fiery hair. "You okay?"
Tasuki closed his eyes.
"You can do this, Genrou. We'll make it through this together, I promise."
Tasuki nodded, his eyes still shut.
~~~
"Tyoushi, we need to talk," Kouji said, pulling his friend aside later that night.
"Is Genrou all right?" Tyoushi asked.
"He's asleep. Look, earlier, you didn't sound too sure about Genrou being able to walk again," he said, getting right to the point.
Tyoushi looked away. "Kouji, I'm not a fucking expert. I'm not sure. But . . . there's probably a lot of damage to his body on the inside, where we can't see it. It's a fifty-fifty shot he'll be able to walk again. I just . . . I just didn't want to tell him that."
Kouji sighed, closing his eyes. "God, if he knew that . . ."
"But his physical healing process will be easier if he starts healing mentally. I'm not trying to put pressure on you, I'm just stating it as a fact."
Kouji nodded, opening his eyes. "I know. I'm workin' on it." He started to go back to Tasuki's a room, a little unsteady on his feet.
"Kouji."
"Nani?"
Tyoushi reached out a hand and stopped him. "Get some rest. It'll do him no good if you get sick."
Kouji looked at his friend and saw the plain concern written on his face. He sighed again. "All right, all right. I'll get some sleep."
~~~
