Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville. Wouldn't that be kool, though? (

True Love Is Hard To Find

Chapter 1

Confessions, Confusion, And New Beginnings

Whitney Fordman is staring across the table at Lana Lang, who, as usual, has her face buried in a book.

~~~I'm not at all attracted to her anymore. She is very beautiful, as always, but something is different. It isn't her. She looks exactly the same. Her smooth tan skin without a single flaw. Her full red lips moving scarcely as she read. Her emerald eyes sparkling brightly, full of life. ~~~

The same eyes he had always loved to look deep into in the past. But none of it had any effect on him whatsoever.

~~~What's wrong with me? Here I am, sitting across from possibly the most gorgeous girl I've ever seen, and I have absolutely no attraction to her whatsoever. What could it be? It's not about that whole misunderstanding about Clark Kent; she explained that, I trust her, and I'm over it. It's just gone. ~~~







Lana looks up from her reading just in time to see Clark Kent walk into the small café.

~~~Oh great. Here it goes. ~~~

But she forces a smile as he walks by, pretending not to notice her, and settles into a booth in the corner.

~~~What nerve! He's actually gonna pretend he doesn't even know I'm here?

Wait, why do I even care? ~~~

Somewhere in the back of her head, a small voice says,

~~~Admit it, girl, you like him. ~~~

She argues with herself silently.

~~~No, I do not like him. I'm with Whitney. ~~~.

~~~That doesn't mean anything. Give it up: YOU-LIKE-CLARK-KENT.~~~

"No!" she blurts out.

"No what?" Whitney asks, looking at her as if she was crazy.

"Oh, nothing. Just--just thinking out loud."

"Oh, ok."







Chloe Sullivan half-walks, half-bounces through the door.

~~~I have to do this. I have to tell him-now. ~~~

She stops and looks around, finally spotting Clark and walks over, sliding in across from him.

"What was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Clark asked.

"Oh, yeah. That's kinda complicated. I--"

Lana, who had chosen exactly the wrong time to finally come talk to Clark, interrupts her in mid sentence.

"Clark, can I talk to you for a second?"

"Umm, sure. Chloe, can you just hold that thought for one second?"

"No problem. I've been holding it for years already, what's another second?"

"Umm, ok." Clark starts to stand.

Chloe spits out, "Don't bother, I was just leaving anyway."

She stands and stalks out. Outside, Pete Ross is standing in the road; he seems to be waiting for her. He comes rushing over as she runs out of the café, tears streaming down her face.

"What did he do?"

"He didn't do anything. It was her. It's always her. I didn't even get the chance to tell him."

"Then you lost your nerve."

"Right. Just like every other time."

"You'll be able to tell him eventually."

"It's not that easy. 'Sure Clark, I'd love to hang out tonight. By the way, did I ever tell you that I've been secretly in love with you ever since I first met you?"

"OK. Good point. So what happened?"

"I had it. I was gonna tell him. Then there she was. 'Clark, can I talk to you for a second?'" She imitates Lana's soft voice perfectly.

"Then what?"

"Well, since she's naturally more important than a certain someone who's supposed to be his best friend, he asked me to-and I quote-'hold that thought for just one second.'"

"And you--"

"And I said no problem, since I've been holding it so long anyway."

Clark walks out right at that moment.

Pete says pointedly, "I'm gonna go now." He motions to Clark.

Chloe turns and sees him, then starts to walk away. Clark rushes and stops in front of her.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It never was anything, and it never will be, so just--please just forget it, Clark."

"No, I won't forget it. What's wrong? Please tell me."

"You really wanna know what's wrong?"

"I do."

"Fine then. This is what's wrong."

She pulls his head down and kisses him briefly.

~~~I've wanted to do this for years. I just never wanted to have to do it like this. I wanted at least some kind of reaction; even if it were negative, just so I would know for sure. But it's just--nothing. At least I still have an answer. ~~~

She pulls away from him, then turns and walks away, leaving him standing alone.

~~~What was that? Why should she-Of course. How could I have been so blind? That important thing she had to talk to me about? Holding it for years? And now she'll start avoiding me and screening her calls. God, I know her too well. ~~~

He suddenly becomes aware that Pete is still standing there watching him. He walks over to him.

"You knew, didn't you?"

"Don't even talk to me. If you go after her now, I might think about forgiving you eventually."

Clark sighs loudly and goes back inside. Lana quickly pulls him to the side.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing. You said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yeah. I feel really bad talking to you of all people about this, but-- Whitney has been acting really strange lately."

"How?"

"I don't know exactly. It's--I'm sorry. You don't wanna hear this."

"Not really; I won't lie. But it's okay, really."

"I--should probably go."

"Yeah, me too. I have a really important phone call to make."







"You've reached the Sullivans. Leave a message."

For the 7th time that night-she was counting-Chloe sat by the phone and listened to the message, followed by a beep and Clark's deep voice.

"Chloe, I know you're there. Please, pick up the phone. I really need to talk to you."

~~~Just do it. ~~~

She snatches up the phone. "You have 1 minute."

"I'm so sorry."

"Yeah? Well, you should be."

"It's been years? How could you never tell me?"

"I was afraid. All our lives, you've been my best friend. I didn't want to lose that. And I always just assumed I would get over it eventually. And you were always too wrapped up in Lana Lang to be at all aware of anything else."

Clark is silent.

"Clark? Hello? You might wanna say something now, your minute is almost up."

The dial tone rings in her ear. She hangs up and sits down, crying quietly.





"Lana, we need to talk."

"Sure, what is it?"

Whitney takes Lana's hands in his. "Things have been different between us lately. It's really weird.

I think--I think maybe we should stop seeing each other, at least for a while."

He expected her to be upset, to cry, to yell at him, anything, but--she didn't.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that too. I totally agree."

"I-what?"

"I said, I've noticed it too, and I agree. We should stop seeing each other for a while at least."

"Well-I guess I should go,"

"Ok. Bye."

"Bye." He walks out.

~~~Now you got that done and over with, tell Clark how you feel. ~~~

She argues with herself again.

~~~Stop it. You don't like Clark Kent. Really, you don't. Who am I kidding? I have to tell him. ~~~

She lays her head down on the table in exasperation, then quickly jumps up and walks out.

~~~I'll go do it right now. ~~~







Chloe, upon hearing someone knocking on the door sharply, wipes the tears from her face and opens the door to see Clark standing there. She turns, slamming the door in his face. So he just walks in.

"If slamming the door in your face won't stop you, what do I have to do to make you leave me alone?"

"Good question. Probably nothing."

~~~There's that smile. Why does he have to smile that smile? The one that lights up the whole world and almost makes him even more gorgeous, which isn't possible anyway. Why did he have to smile like that now? I'm supposed to be mad at him, dammit! ~~~

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Looking at you like what?"

"Like that!"

"Oh, you mean the way you look at Lana that makes your disturbing obsession with her so painfully obvious," she says, quickly regretting it.

~~~Why did I just say that? That wasn't me! ~~~

"Clark, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It just slipped out."

"What are you sorry about? You said what you were thinking, nothing wrong with that. And I know you're absolutely right."

~~~And I know that love makes people do and say things they don't mean and act completely immature. I have Clark to thank for all that. ~~~

She wanted to tell him just that. But she couldn't bring herself to for some reason. She did another of those crazy things, driven by love.

"Actually, I want you to call Lana right now and tell her how you feel." She hands him the phone.

"You. Want me. To call her. And tell her. How I feel."

"That's right. I do."

"OK."

He picks up the phone and dials. The whole time on the phone, he looks right at Chloe.

"Hello, is Lana there? Oh, hi, Lana. It's Clark. I need to tell you something. Oh, yeah, Chloe wants me to call you and tell you how I feel, so that's what I'm doing. Lana, I've had a--thing for you for a long time. But just today, I found out some interesting things. And now I'm not so sure about all that. The girl I'm really supposed to be with has been around my whole life, and I never realized it."

He chuckles slightly.

"No, Chloe didn't tell me to call and tell you that, she just said to tell you how I feel. I think she expected me to tell you I'm crazy about you and ask you out. Well, I have to go now. I'll see you around, okay? Ok. Bye. "

He hangs up and looks at Chloe.

"You're crazy, Clark Kent."

"Why am I crazy?"

"You just ruined your chances with the girl you're absolutely nuts about."

"I did? I thought I was building them. Or did you mean Lana?"

He grins.

~~~There's that smile again. ~~~

"Can I tell you something, Chloe?"

"What?"

"You know I didn't really call Lana, right?"

"How could I not know?"

~~~And again with that smile. When will he quit being so beautiful? Probably never. ~~~

"So, what does this mean now?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe I should go. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure."

He kisses her cheek before walking out. She sinks into a chair slowly.

~~~Oh my God, Clark kissed me! I imagined it happening over and over again in my head but nothing I could ever can live up to it really happening. Just when I thought things couldn't get worse with Clark-- I was starting to worry I was gonna lose his friendship too, and now all my dreams are coming true. Nothing could go wrong now. Nothing. ~~~.









This is my 1st fanfic, though I have done a lot of other kinds of writing before. I've actually only seen one episode of Smallville, but just loved it right away, so the characterization is probably way off.

R+R please