Note: Since I can't get italics to show up on this fool thing, sections
surrounded by * * *'s and little ~ things are recollections. I swear to
gawd, the italics thing just wasn't working so I apologize if that makes
the story incoherent or something.
1
2 Catharsis: 4
* * *
~"I just-just didn't know what to think, Master," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders in apology. "You were there and then-" he paused and dropped his gaze.
"You were gone. I didn't know what to think," he finished quietly.
Qui-Gon nodded slowly. It bothered him to think that Obi-Wan might have reason to hold such little faith in him.
"I didn't want to believe it, Master," Obi-Wan said hastily, sensing the disquiet. His eyes were wide and honest. "But everything that was happening- there was no room to think."~
* * *
Qui-Gon studied the face of his slumbering apprentice. It was relaxed, the tight lines of pain had finally smoothed away, leaving Obi-Wan in temporary peace.
He brushed the backs of his fingers over one warm cheek and wondered how much their talk had actually helped the young man.
Obi-Wan had always carried doubts with him, but the fresh uncertainties that had arisen with recent circumstances were overwhelming. Qui-Gon had done his best to soothe the boy's fears before exhaustion had finally caught up with the both of them.
Reluctantly, Qui-Gon moved back to his chair and blanket. It was no contest between the two of them who deserved the rather plush sleep couch. The chair was close, in case Obi-Wan needed help getting to the refresher again.
Qui-Gon learned that Shahn had force-fed his Padawan something neither Jedi could identify. Obi-Wan could tell his Master only that it was yellow, thick, and tasted "like bantha droppings."
* * *
~Qui Gon continued to rub his hand over Obi-Wan's back, soothing the violent tremors, and smiled.
"Padawan," he admonished, "I'm curious to find out how you would know what such a thing might even smell like. I'm quite certain that that particular item is not sold anywhere we've eaten. Especially one of the Temple's cafeterias."
Obi-Wan shot his Master a pained glance.
"You know what I mean."
Qui-Gon sobered. "Are you all right?"
Obi-Wan dragged the back of his hand across cracked lips and nodded.
"For now."~
* * *
Whatever it was, it had made the teenager violently sick twice already that night.
Qui-Gon settled himself in the chair silently, squaring his shoulders against the back of it with an appreciative pop.
He had done what he could for Obi-Wan's wounds: putting firm pressure on the dislocated fingers until they moved painfully back into place, putting ice on the bruises, bandaging the cuts; all the while offering comfort to his stricken Padawan.
They had moved through some of Obi-Wan's fears, Qui-Gon let the boy tentatively explain what he thought had been his shortcomings and then the Master would counter it with how he thought it had been handled. Qui-Gon soon realized he had much of his own anger to deal with and made note to examine it when Obi-Wan was settled.
* * *
~"My fear-Master, I let it get the better of me. I gave in." Obi-Wan fought the lump that formed in his throat at the memory.
"Perhaps not as much as you thought you did, Padawan. Do I need to remind you that you never told them what they wanted to know?" Weathered blue eyes held blue- green until Obi-Wan abruptly slid his gaze to the window.
"I don't think I could have, Master," he said softly. "I think I went mad for a short while, it-They just wouldn't stop."
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together in a thin line, waiting for a reply. He was not sure what to expect; he could easily see Qui-Gon agreeing or disagreeing with him.
Whatever his Master thought, Obi-Wan could tell by the deliberate manner in which Qui-Gon applied ointment to the deep cut on his hand that the older man was carefully planning his next words.
"Obi-Wan," he finally said, "You are sixteen." He looked up at the apprentice. "While at times your level of maturity and the depth and fervor with which you embrace your training amazes me, you cannot expect to live your life completely without fear. No one can."
"Yes, Master, but-"
Qui Gon held up a hand.
"Let me finish. You are still learning to control that fear. You are still learning so many things. Do not be ashamed of yourself.
"Besides," he added with a wry grin and gentle tug on Obi-Wan's braid, "If you could do so much already, Yoda would have been urging you to take me as your Padawan Learner."~
* * *
A low chuckle rumbled out of Qui-Gon's throat as he recalled the delighted laugh Obi-Wan had rewarded him with.
His gaze drifted back to the still form on the bed and his smile faded.
He was grateful his Obi-Wan was returning to him, especially at such a rapid pace, but thoughts of the long journey they would begin in the morning uneased him.
Though his mind was on the mend, the young Padawan was in no physical shape for any kind of traveling. The one to the Mienke Sector would take several hours, but Qui-Gon suspected the trek would take much longer and be very difficult, due to the young man's present limitations. He would have to remind himself not to pick the boy up and simply carry him.
They had discussed the next day's plans before Obi-Wan had first fallen asleep.
* * *
~Qui-Gon sat on the edge of Obi-Wan's sleep couch, smoothing his fingers through the damp, ginger hair.
"Feel better to be clean?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
Qui-Gon sighed and dropped his hands in his lap.
"I've just spoken to the owner. He gave me a map-" Qui Gon jerked his thumb in the direction of the folded durasheet he had tossed onto the table upon entering. "He says it should be about four hours on foot. There's a public transport that comes by every hour, but we used up all of our credits on renting the room."
Obi-Wan worried at his bottom lip, unsure if the suggestion he had in mind would be at all ethical.
A slight smile tugged at Qui-Gon's lips and he shook his head, wagging his finger at his Padawan in mock reprove.
"I toyed with that idea myself," he said, giving forth a short bark of laughter. "But, no. The transport is droid controlled, so I'm afraid there is no chance of a 'free' ride."
Obi-Wan nodded again, idly playing with the frayed hem of his robe Qui-Gon had covered him with as he listened.
Qui-Gon took a deep breath and let it gust out past his lips.
"So, we're going to have to walk. I regret that I will not be able to help you much with the pain, Padawan. I'll do what I can, of course, and we'll rest often-"
"Master, it's all right," Obi-Wan said solemnly. His eyes glittered in the dim light and he reached for his mentor. Qui Gon responded immediately, nearly engulfing the slim hand with his own broad one.
"I can't help but feel like I'm being tested," he admitted. " So far I haven't done as well as I would have liked, but I'm ready for this. I know I can make it. What you've done for me tonight has really helped, and I thank you for the self-assurance I feel now."
Qui-Gon smiled and patted the youth's hand.
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Padawan. But you'll have to remember to be patient with yourself. Your leg is broken-"
The blue-green eyes were fierce and resolute. "I can do it, Qui-Gon." His voice was firm.
Qui-Gon could not help but swell with pride at the courage his Padawan was revealing to him.
His Padawan.
A surge of joy coursed through him alongside the pride.
Was this the same child whom he had held in his arms only hours before? The same trembling, frightened and confused boy was now steady and sure. Qui- Gon was awed at how quickly Obi-Wan had bounced back.
He squeezed his Padawan's hand. The slender fingers tightened in response to his grip.
"Yes, you can, Obi-Wan. Yes, you can."~
* * *
Qui-Gon smiled. He pulled the blanket up the bristly hairs on his chin and closed his eyes.
They would deal with the morning when it came.
1
2 Catharsis: 4
* * *
~"I just-just didn't know what to think, Master," Obi-Wan said, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders in apology. "You were there and then-" he paused and dropped his gaze.
"You were gone. I didn't know what to think," he finished quietly.
Qui-Gon nodded slowly. It bothered him to think that Obi-Wan might have reason to hold such little faith in him.
"I didn't want to believe it, Master," Obi-Wan said hastily, sensing the disquiet. His eyes were wide and honest. "But everything that was happening- there was no room to think."~
* * *
Qui-Gon studied the face of his slumbering apprentice. It was relaxed, the tight lines of pain had finally smoothed away, leaving Obi-Wan in temporary peace.
He brushed the backs of his fingers over one warm cheek and wondered how much their talk had actually helped the young man.
Obi-Wan had always carried doubts with him, but the fresh uncertainties that had arisen with recent circumstances were overwhelming. Qui-Gon had done his best to soothe the boy's fears before exhaustion had finally caught up with the both of them.
Reluctantly, Qui-Gon moved back to his chair and blanket. It was no contest between the two of them who deserved the rather plush sleep couch. The chair was close, in case Obi-Wan needed help getting to the refresher again.
Qui-Gon learned that Shahn had force-fed his Padawan something neither Jedi could identify. Obi-Wan could tell his Master only that it was yellow, thick, and tasted "like bantha droppings."
* * *
~Qui Gon continued to rub his hand over Obi-Wan's back, soothing the violent tremors, and smiled.
"Padawan," he admonished, "I'm curious to find out how you would know what such a thing might even smell like. I'm quite certain that that particular item is not sold anywhere we've eaten. Especially one of the Temple's cafeterias."
Obi-Wan shot his Master a pained glance.
"You know what I mean."
Qui-Gon sobered. "Are you all right?"
Obi-Wan dragged the back of his hand across cracked lips and nodded.
"For now."~
* * *
Whatever it was, it had made the teenager violently sick twice already that night.
Qui-Gon settled himself in the chair silently, squaring his shoulders against the back of it with an appreciative pop.
He had done what he could for Obi-Wan's wounds: putting firm pressure on the dislocated fingers until they moved painfully back into place, putting ice on the bruises, bandaging the cuts; all the while offering comfort to his stricken Padawan.
They had moved through some of Obi-Wan's fears, Qui-Gon let the boy tentatively explain what he thought had been his shortcomings and then the Master would counter it with how he thought it had been handled. Qui-Gon soon realized he had much of his own anger to deal with and made note to examine it when Obi-Wan was settled.
* * *
~"My fear-Master, I let it get the better of me. I gave in." Obi-Wan fought the lump that formed in his throat at the memory.
"Perhaps not as much as you thought you did, Padawan. Do I need to remind you that you never told them what they wanted to know?" Weathered blue eyes held blue- green until Obi-Wan abruptly slid his gaze to the window.
"I don't think I could have, Master," he said softly. "I think I went mad for a short while, it-They just wouldn't stop."
Obi-Wan pressed his lips together in a thin line, waiting for a reply. He was not sure what to expect; he could easily see Qui-Gon agreeing or disagreeing with him.
Whatever his Master thought, Obi-Wan could tell by the deliberate manner in which Qui-Gon applied ointment to the deep cut on his hand that the older man was carefully planning his next words.
"Obi-Wan," he finally said, "You are sixteen." He looked up at the apprentice. "While at times your level of maturity and the depth and fervor with which you embrace your training amazes me, you cannot expect to live your life completely without fear. No one can."
"Yes, Master, but-"
Qui Gon held up a hand.
"Let me finish. You are still learning to control that fear. You are still learning so many things. Do not be ashamed of yourself.
"Besides," he added with a wry grin and gentle tug on Obi-Wan's braid, "If you could do so much already, Yoda would have been urging you to take me as your Padawan Learner."~
* * *
A low chuckle rumbled out of Qui-Gon's throat as he recalled the delighted laugh Obi-Wan had rewarded him with.
His gaze drifted back to the still form on the bed and his smile faded.
He was grateful his Obi-Wan was returning to him, especially at such a rapid pace, but thoughts of the long journey they would begin in the morning uneased him.
Though his mind was on the mend, the young Padawan was in no physical shape for any kind of traveling. The one to the Mienke Sector would take several hours, but Qui-Gon suspected the trek would take much longer and be very difficult, due to the young man's present limitations. He would have to remind himself not to pick the boy up and simply carry him.
They had discussed the next day's plans before Obi-Wan had first fallen asleep.
* * *
~Qui-Gon sat on the edge of Obi-Wan's sleep couch, smoothing his fingers through the damp, ginger hair.
"Feel better to be clean?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
Qui-Gon sighed and dropped his hands in his lap.
"I've just spoken to the owner. He gave me a map-" Qui Gon jerked his thumb in the direction of the folded durasheet he had tossed onto the table upon entering. "He says it should be about four hours on foot. There's a public transport that comes by every hour, but we used up all of our credits on renting the room."
Obi-Wan worried at his bottom lip, unsure if the suggestion he had in mind would be at all ethical.
A slight smile tugged at Qui-Gon's lips and he shook his head, wagging his finger at his Padawan in mock reprove.
"I toyed with that idea myself," he said, giving forth a short bark of laughter. "But, no. The transport is droid controlled, so I'm afraid there is no chance of a 'free' ride."
Obi-Wan nodded again, idly playing with the frayed hem of his robe Qui-Gon had covered him with as he listened.
Qui-Gon took a deep breath and let it gust out past his lips.
"So, we're going to have to walk. I regret that I will not be able to help you much with the pain, Padawan. I'll do what I can, of course, and we'll rest often-"
"Master, it's all right," Obi-Wan said solemnly. His eyes glittered in the dim light and he reached for his mentor. Qui Gon responded immediately, nearly engulfing the slim hand with his own broad one.
"I can't help but feel like I'm being tested," he admitted. " So far I haven't done as well as I would have liked, but I'm ready for this. I know I can make it. What you've done for me tonight has really helped, and I thank you for the self-assurance I feel now."
Qui-Gon smiled and patted the youth's hand.
"I'm so glad to hear you say that, Padawan. But you'll have to remember to be patient with yourself. Your leg is broken-"
The blue-green eyes were fierce and resolute. "I can do it, Qui-Gon." His voice was firm.
Qui-Gon could not help but swell with pride at the courage his Padawan was revealing to him.
His Padawan.
A surge of joy coursed through him alongside the pride.
Was this the same child whom he had held in his arms only hours before? The same trembling, frightened and confused boy was now steady and sure. Qui- Gon was awed at how quickly Obi-Wan had bounced back.
He squeezed his Padawan's hand. The slender fingers tightened in response to his grip.
"Yes, you can, Obi-Wan. Yes, you can."~
* * *
Qui-Gon smiled. He pulled the blanket up the bristly hairs on his chin and closed his eyes.
They would deal with the morning when it came.
