Goodbye To You


Dedicated to Sampson



Alanna the Lioness stared out at the broad, flat, golden dunes of desert sand, highlighted by the harsh southern sun. They stretched out as far as she could see and were desolate and alone...the way she felt.

Jon's angry words still stung. Just the day before, they had gotten into an argument, a silly one. A worthless argument, she told herself, but it wasn't true.


Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by


So she wasn't ready for marriage. Big deal. But it was to Jon; he didn't want to wait, didn't want to hear her say that she wasn't ready. He had left the desert in a huff, angry that she wasn't ready for a commitment.


I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing
are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last two years were just pretend
And I said,


Closing her eyes to stop the tears that threatened to fall, Alanna wished fervently that she had just said yes. A sudden wind lifted the sand and flung it in her face.

No you don't, said her logical mind. You didn't want to be Queen. "Do I love him, though?" she asked herself softly. Her words were swallowed by the desert.


Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


Coram sat beside her, though she did not acknowledge his presence. "If it makes ye feel any better, lass, I think ye did the right thing," he told her, following her gaze to the barren sea of sand that stretched out forever.


I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day
without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my
thoughts away
To a place where
I am blinded by the light
But it's not right


Images of Jon back at Court, sweeping away in a waltz with a lovely maiden on his arm invaded her mind. She tried to block them out, but they would not go away. "But did I overreact?" she asked, not meeting Coram's wise eyes.

"Lass, after these things are over, there's always the 'should haves,' the 'what ifs,' and the 'did I's.' Anything could'a happened, but what did did."


Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


Deep down, Alanna didn't know her own feelings. She was sad, but also felt a little freedom.

"Why couldn't he be more patient!" she said angrily, standing up and brushing the sand off of her breeches. Coram rose and patted her awkwardly on the shoulder. She smiled sadly at her friend.


And it hurts to want everything and
nothing at the same time
I want what's yours
and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time


It feels like I have nothing. Like I'm completely lost and alone, she thought, heading back to her tent, Coram following.

On an impulse, Coram grabbed her shoulder. "What's it like to be in love?"]

Alanna hesitated. "Depends on what the person's like."


Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to


"Jon believed in me. He supported me. He-he loved me."

Startled by this sudden display of feelings, Coram was at a loss for words.


And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star


"And I loved him too."


Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tamora Pierce, and the song "Goodbye To You" belongs to Michelle Branch.

Ack! Oh no, am I becoming an A/J fan? NO!!! Don't worry, I'll write more A/G stuff soon, I promise!