by Rydia Highwind
Part Two: Cute Dead Things
Golbez: Kain! I thought you liked boys!
Kain: I can't decide. I'm such an indecisive little dragoon.
Golbez: Well, no matter. Let's steal Rosa.
Cecil: Stealing is BAD.
Golbez: I'm bad.
Cecil: Oh, okay.
Rosa: Deary me. My ho-ish antics have succeeded in making my boy toy's lover jealous and have gotten me kidnapped by some doofus in a stupid helmet.
Golbez: Hey! Don't mock the helmet!
Rydia: Oh, damn. Everyone's dead but me.
Cecil: Let's be stupid and go back to Baron even though everyone there hates me.
Edward: Okay!
Yang: Gee, I hope no big sea monsters come and eat Rydia.
Leviatan: Yummy girl. *burp*
Rydia: This is all your fault, karate man.
Yang: I feel so badly about that that I will now proceed to give myself induced amnesia so I never do anything that stupid again.
Edward: May I swim to Toroia? I'm afraid that I might mess up my hair getting eaten by a sea monster.
Cecil: I think I'll wander over to a place where everyone hates me. Sound good?
People in Mysidia: We hate you.
Cecil: I'm so loved.
Elder: If you go put on white clothes, we will randomly decide that you are the fulfillment of our ancient prophesy that makes no sense whatsoever, and then proceed to worship you, but only after I have two incompetent children spy on you.
Porom: You called?
Palom: Hi! I'm as incompetent as they come, so I'll wander along with you, dude.
Cecil: Okay.
People in Mysidia: You suck.
Cecil: Yeah, okay, shut up already.
MEANWHILE
Kain: Can I kill Cecil? Please?
Golbez: No! You have to watch the girl.
Milon: I wanna kill the Dark Knight! I wanna kill the Dark Knight!
Golbez: Okay, just shut up!
Milon: Yay!
Rosa: If you untie me, I'll sleep with you.
Kain: Why would I want to sleep with you, you ho?
Rosa: Damn.
Golbez: Why do you think I left him to watch you?
Rosa: ...I hate you.
Cecil: Such a happy mountain.
Porom: What are you talking about? Its full of dead things.
Dead Thing: Huh.
Cecil: But they're cute dead things!
Dead Thing: Huh.
Palom: Aw, so cute.
Sound: Hiss.
Porom: Palom, stop trying to write your name in the snow.
Palom: If I was trying to write my name in the snow, it would be PISS, not HISS.
Cecil: Stealing is BAD.
Tellah: Hi!
Cecil: You crazy old thing! What are you doing here? Trying to become a Paladin before me, I see! Meet my Dark Sword!
Tellah: I can't even carry a sword. I'm here to learn how to drop meteors on people.
Cecil: Oh. Damn. And I was looking for a fight too.
Milon: OOOOOOOOH, DARK KNIGHT! YUMMY DARK KNIGHT!
Cecil: Look, it's attached to my arm! Isn't it cute?
Porom: That's disgusting.
Tellah: Doesn't that hurt??
Cecil: ....now that I think about it, yes.
Milon: CRUNCH
Cecil: Inferior! Meet my Dark Sword!
Milon: Teehee, that tickles.
Cecil: ...this isn't working.
Tellah: Here, I'll start it on fire. Fire!
Cecil: OW!!
Tellah: Oops, you two look so much alike...
Palom: I think your eye-sight's going, old man.
Tellah: ....maybe you're right. Let me try that again.
Cecil: That's okay, really!
Porom: How about I try this? I'll push the scary thing off of the mountain.
Milon: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Cecil: Look, it made a pretty splat.
Palom: What is it with you and pretty things, dude?! Are you gay or something?!
Cecil: Yes.
Palom: Oh.
Light: FLASH!
Cecil: Look at the pretty mirror! I can see myself in it! Whee!
Evil Cecil: I hate you.
Cecil: That's not nice.
Evil Cecil: BOOMFWASHSMASH
Cecil: Dude, this is scary!
Light: Use your sword, my moronic son....
Cecil: ....Oh. Right.
Evil Cecil: Eep! Scary!
Cheesy Narration: Cecil became a Paladin and conquered the evil within himself! Now, he, Tellah, and the twins will head back to Mysidia and--
Reader: Oh, shut up already.
Ouch. Hasn't your intellegence been insulted enough yet? Why are you still reading?! O_O;; Yep, more comin', ye poor, addicted soul, ye.
