by Rydia Highwind
Part Three: Enter the Disney Songs!
Golbez: G'damnit! Cecil's a Paladin!
Kain: That pretty white armor is most lovely on him.
Golbez: Stop lusting after him and kill him!
Kain: Aww, can't you send the beetle dude?
Golbez: He's already in Baron, impersonating the king.
Kain: What about wind woman?
Valvalis: I LOVE YOU, KAIN!
Golbez: She seems to be attached to your leg.
Kain: DAMN YOU, WOMAN, STOP HUMPING ME!
Valvalis: But you're cute!
Kain: Well, what about Volcano Head?
Golbez: He's busy destroying Eblan.
Kain: Well, Valvalis won't get off my leg.
Golbez: Cecil seems to be going back to Baron anyway, so Kainazzo can kill him.
Kain: Yay! I'll be playing Super Mario Brothers now.
MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE RANCH...ER, HOUSE OF WISHES, THAT IS...
Elder: Well, by cheese, he actually did it.
Cecil: Yup! Cause I'm spiffy!
Porom: No, cause I pushed the scary thing off the cliff.
Cecil: Well, there was that....
Tellah: Anyway, we have to avenge Anna!
Cecil: Who the hell is Anna?
Tellah: My daughter!
Cecil: Why do we have to avenge her?
Tellah: Because we do!
Cecil: Oh, okay.
Tellah: Oh, by the way, I learned how to drop meteors on people. Your daddy taught me.
Cecil: He was such a nice dude. Too bad I have no memory of him whatsoever.
Elder: Are you leaving yet?
Cecil: Oh, right!
Palom: I'm going with you, dude! IHOW sucks!
Tellah: IHOW?
Palom: Yeah, the International House Of Wishes.
Tellah: Oh.
Porom: I guess that means I'm going to. I seem to be my brother's keeper.
Cecil: Wasn't that Kain?
Tellah: Shut up with the Biblical references! This game was made in Japan, dammit!
Cecil: What's Japan?
Tellah: Beats me.
Palom: ANYWAY. SERPENT ROAD.
Serpent Road: HISS!
Cecil: So! It was Serpent Road hissing at us on Mount Ordeals!
Porom: ...If you say so, Cecil.
Cecil: What?
People of Baron: Hey, it's that dude that was once a dark knight!
Cecil: Hey, it's me!
People of Baron: Cid is in jail!
Cecil: ...Drat. Any of you got an airship handy?
People of Baron: No! Why don't you try rescuing him!
Cecil: Hmm. That could work.
Yang: Hello, I do not know who you are. I shall now proceed beat the living daylights out of you.
Cecil: Um, you suck!
Yang: I do? Oh, hi Cecil.
Tellah: Let's sneak into the palace and rescue Cid!
Porom: Sure, why not?
Palom: Got nothing better to do.
Cecil: Hey! If I yell loud enough, my voice echoes! Neat!
Yang: Will you be quiet?! We're trying to sneak!
Cecil: ...Oh. Right, sorry.
King: Hey! Cecil! You're a Paladin! Being a Paladin is BAD.
Cecil: I thought stealing was bad..
King: Who the hell told you that?
Cecil: Rosa!
King: Rosa is a ho!
Cecil: What's it to you!
King: How would I know? I'm not really the king.
Palom: Oooooh, suspense!
Cecil: Gasp! I did not see that coming forty-seven miles away!
King: I am...BEETLE MAN!!!!
Tellah: Oh, the horror!
Cecil: Porom! Push it off a cliff!
Porom: You moron, there's no cliff to push it off from.
Cecil: Damnation! How do we defeat it then?!
Palom: Remember what Daddy told you on the mountain?
Cecil: "FLASH!"?
Palom: After that..
Cecil: "Use your sword, my moronic son..."?
Palom: That's the one.
Cecil: ....OH! So I should...use my sword!
Palom: Good work, Speedy!
Cecil: Hey, my name is Cecil, not Speedy!
Kainazzo: You guys look....DEHYDRATED!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
Palom: Look! Yang peed his pants! Ha, ha!
Yang: ...I did not!!
Cecil: Let me get this straight. If you're not the king...then who is?
Tellah: Spooky, man.
Palom and Porom: NO KING! NO KING! LA, LA, LA, LA, LAAAAAA, LA!
Cecil: IDIOTS! THERE WILL BE A KING!!
Palom: But you said, uh...
Cecil: I WILL BE KING! STICK WITH ME AND...
Tellah: ...and I will beat you with my staff if you don't stop quoting Disney.
Cecil: No..!! Not the staff!! I'm sorry, master, it won't happen again!
Kainazzo: I ate the king. There is no king.
Cecil: I WILL BE KING!!
Tellah: SHUT UP.
Cecil: Ow, ow! Sorry!!
Kainazzo: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Yang: He...spontaneously combusted.
Palom: I like using Nuke.
Porom: Oh, good Gaia, who in their right mind would level you up that high?!
Author: Hello.
Porom: Oh, dear Bahamut. Save us all.
That was...slow. Sorry 'bout that. x.o;;; My weirdo muses are evil. R&R!!!! O_o;;; I really must apologize...for...that. ::points at story:: Ye gods..
